Part Four
"I remember." He was tan, his face scruffy and his shirt hung loose on his body.
A young man with shaggy blond hair interrupted the moment, holding up a dented pizza box. "Sorry I'm late – had a little run in with a light pole. Pizza is free." He pushed the box into Abby's shaking hands and turned on his heel.
Abby didn't register his words, her gaze fixed on Gibbs, unable to look away. She accidentally let the pizza slip through her fingers, not caring when the box hit the floor.
"I remember us, and I remember how much I love you. I remember it all."
"Hey what's taking so-" Tony stepped up behind Abby and froze at the sight of Gibbs. "Boss?"
"DiNozzo?" Seeing Tony in Abby's apartment without a shirt made Gibbs cock his head to the side. He didn't notice that Tony was shirtless until he took in what Abby was wearing, one of Tony's shirts, and her own barely –there shorts. "Am I interrupting something?"
Abby was still speechless, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted.
"Abby? You okay?" Tony's warm hand wrapped around her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.
"I… yeah," she nodded, this time keeping herself from looking directly at Gibbs. "I'm just… surprised."
"Is Ziva in trouble again? I didn't realize how hard it is to keep track of her until I became team lead," Tony laughed nervously and ran his hand over his face and then through his hair, "You coming back to NCIS?" It was a minor detail compared to what they were dealing with by the look on Gibbs' face, but he couldn't bring himself to ask the questions he really wanted to ask. Are you back for Abby? Are you taking her away from me?
"Fornell needs help re-opening an old case."
Abby looked up sharply and took a step back until she backed into Tony's chest. "Then you're not staying at NCIS?"
"I… I don't know what's gonna happen." Gibbs leaned against the door frame, his eyes catching on the way Tony's hand dropped and curved around Abby's hip, holding her back against him. "I've just come back this evening. I wanted to tell you I was back first, before showing up at NCIS Monday."
Abby bent down to pick up the pizza box and handed it to Tony. "Will you put that in the kitchen?"
"Yeah. Sure." Tony looked from Abby to Gibbs and back to Abby before taking the pizza and heading for the kitchen.
She waited until Tony was out of earshot and then crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "I need to know if you're only going to be here for a week, because if you are… I can't be around you. I can't have you back in my life for another week and watch you walk away again."
"Said I didn't know if I was staying at NCIS, I'm staying in DC. Took my house off the market."
"Okay, um, we're about to eat and watch a movie, so…" Abby glanced over her shoulder and nervously played with the door handle. "I guess I'll see you at work Monday." She closed the door slowly, giving Gibbs the chance to step back before closing it completely. The moment the door closed, her knees gave out and Abby sank to the floor unable to hold back the tears.
"What have I done…?"
That's how Tony found her, sitting on the floor, her back against the door, her knees pulled up to her chest as she cried. "Hey now…" He knelt beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He didn't have the words he needed to comfort her, so instead he held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair.
As Abby cried, Tony found his insecurities flare up. He had been one of a very limited number of people who knew about Gibbs' and Abby's relationship before everything had gone to hell. He had been supportive and jealous all at once, wanting his friend to be happy, but grieving for himself at the same time. When he had first joined NCIS, Gibbs' had threatened to tear him (or anyone else, really) limb from limb if they hurt Abby and he had heeded that warning at first, happy to consider her a good friend. But the more and more they had gotten to know each other, the more they spent Friday evenings watching awful sci-fi movies, the more his feeling for her grew. His late-night partying slowed and he assumed he was making progress. Then Abby had pulled him aside, just after Kate had died. She was upset that she hadn't told Kate how much she cared for her as a friend, and was worried that she wouldn't get the chance to tell the rest of the people she loved.
Tony had learned that Abby had gone to Gibbs first (surprising) and flat out told him that she loved him. She confided in Tony that she hadn't expected anything from Gibbs, but finding herself pushed up against the basement wall, Gibbs' lips pressed hers had been more than welcome. When she finally got around to telling Tony how she couldn't imagine life without him, he smiled his megawatt smile, pulled her into a hug and returned the sentiment before suggesting a 'victory beer' to celebrate her new relationship status with their boss.
"Come on, baby," Tony soothed, "let's get off the floor. Why are you so upset? For weeks you were certain he would be back, and now he is. Isn't this what you wanted?" Tony tried to sound upbeat.
"He," she wiped her tears on her sleeve, "he said he remembers now. He remembers us. Me and him. What we had before…"
"Oh." He always knew in the back of his mind that one day Gibbs would remember. Abby was way too amazing to completely forget. When he'd returned before to help Ziva, the fact that Gibbs' hadn't remembered his relationship with Abby (except that she was his favorite) had given Abby the green light to be completely comfortable in her relationship with Tony. Before that she had always held back, just a little, just in case. Later she had told Tony that she had confronted him, asked him if he remembered the good times they'd shared, but with the exception of a few birthday dinners and his offerings of Caf-Pow he'd been confused as to what she meant. "Hey, want to talk about it?"
"No. I can't. Not right now."
"If you want some time alone, I understand. I can head back to my place for the night."
"No!" Abby grabbed his arm. "No, I just… let's go watch our movie."
"You're sure? If you change your mind, it's okay." Tony helped her up off the floor and led her back to the sofa. "I'll grab us each some pizza. You want another beer?"
"Please." Abby curled up on the couch and stared at the commercials playing on the TV, unaware that Tony was back until he set a plate with two slices of pizza on her lap.
"You're sure you want me-"
"Tony!" Abby shifted her plate to the coffee table and waited for Tony to sit and do the same. She tugged him in close and wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. "I love you and if I want to be alone, I'll let you know. But I've heard awful things about Frankenfish. I'm certainly not going to watch it alone." The beginning of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
"Alright, alright." Tony flipped to the OnDemand channel. "I already get the feeling I'm going to want the next ninety minutes of my life back."
"Mm, probably." Abby reached for her pizza and took a bite. This was her problem, not Tony's. She needed to deal with her feelings, but at the same time, she needed to keep Tony out of it. He would have enough to deal with if Gibbs ended up back at NCIS. The promotion at work had been well deserved, but she knew without a doubt, both McGee and Ziva would rather work under Gibbs' direction. And as much as Tony teased about being the boss, it was a lot to carry on his shoulders. He had been secure in his spot under Gibbs. Being the boss had brought out a whole new level of insecurities for him.
Tony kept an eye on her as she finished her pizza, swallowed the last of her beer and then curled into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, and pressed a couple kisses to her hair. He smiled when she jumped as an over-sized, ugly-as-sin fish jumped out of the water, snapping an unsuspecting fisherman in half. "This going to give you nightmares?"
Abby shot him a playful look. "No, you?"
"Maybe. Can I stay the night so you can rub my back when I wake up screaming?"
"Of course. Can I get your scream on video and share with the class on Monday?"
Tony tugged on one of her ponytails. "Only if I get to share that other video we took."
"We can make it a double feature!"
The look on her face told him that his hadn't been much of a threat. He wasn't surprised though. A few weeks ago he'd bought himself a small video camera – a small gadget to play with – Abby had given him a lap-dance and he had recorded it. In the video she had kept most of her clothes on, though she had lost her shirt, but the video ended with her promising better things if he switched the camera off. The last shot of the video was of himself nodding vigorously with Abby's husky laugh in the background. "No, that's private property."
"But you can't see anything." Abby pouted and climbed into his lap. "With the exception of a few things, it's totally rated PG."
"PG? Abbs, if I can use it to get off when you're not around, it's not PG. I don't think anything about you is rated PG." He laughed and then leaned forward to chase the pout off her lips with a kiss. "I mean that in the best way possible."
"You watch that video when I'm not around? Does it make you think naughty things? Like I said, you can't even see anything."
Tony smiled widely. "Your voice is all I need, sweet cheeks. Of course, I prefer the real thing, but you know, if you're busy…"
"I'm flattered."
"You should be. But that said, I don't want McGee watching the lap-dance you did for me. I'm sure McGee has seen more than his fair share of lap-dances or whatever, but I don't want to think about that."
"Don't be jealous," Abby straddled his lap and nuzzled against his neck. "That happened a long time ago and ended just as long ago."
"I'm not jealous of McGoo. I just don't want to spark any of his Abby-fantasies."
She nipped at his earlobe and whispered into his ear. "Abby-fantasies? Do you have any of those?"
"More than enough to keep you on your toes, but we'll save those for another night." Tony gently moved her from his lap so he could get up. He knew she was watching him as he tidied up their mess and then turned off the tv and locked the door. She looked vulnerable as he moved around her living room, and when he finally reached a hand out to her, she took it eagerly, leaning into him as he directed her down the hallway to her bedroom.
Tony was the first to be ready for bed and he slipped between the sheets, resting his back against the headboard. He was concerned with the way Abby seemed to just ignore the fact that Gibbs was back. She hadn't mentioned him, by name, since… well, he'd thought he'd heard her say his name when she opened the door; it's what had prompted him to get up in the first place. She told him she didn't want to talk about it and he would respect it for tonight, but she couldn't pretend he wasn't back. Not if Gibbs would be back at NCIS. He wasn't too concerned about his job. If Gibbs did come back, he would gladly step back to senior field agent, but Gibbs would have to understand that it was his team too – four months as team leader and he felt more protective over McGee and Ziva than he had before. He knew that if Gibbs came back to NCIS, Jenny would likely offer him his own team, a new team, but the team he had now, was family. They had stuck with him the longest and he was more interested in protecting his family than being the boss. Even if he did enjoy the bump in his salary.
He glanced up when the bathroom door opened and did a double take when he saw Abby. She was naked, her hair pulled up off her shoulders in a messy bun. "Wowzers."
"I need you tonight."
"Baby, you've got me," Tony grinned and pulled back the covers for her before shifting down and wiggling free of his boxers. He was gentle with her as he pulled her in closer, touching and kissing her until he felt he start to relax in his arms.
Abby was mostly quiet as they made love. She knew full well that she was with Tony (and she loved the way he always knew if she needed a more gentle or rough approach) but with Gibbs not far from her mind she was worried that she would slip up and call him Gibbs. She was thankful that the lights were off and Tony couldn't see the tears slip down over her cheeks, or when she clenched her eyes shut against the flashes of silver hair she thought she saw.
By the time her orgasm ripped through her, Abby was exhausted. "Love you. Love you so so much," she panted. She had kept asking for more, though she hadn't known what she had wanted or needed, and Tony had delivered. He had kept changing pace, toying with her clit and nipples and finally she'd been able to let go and let the bittersweet pleasure wash over her. Tony collapsed beside her, his arms shaky from holding himself over her.
As her breathing slowed, she suddenly realized Tony hadn't found his release yet, confirming her suspicions when she ran her hand over his abdomen and found his cock straining against his belly. "Oh God, Tony."
"S'ok," he tried to pull her into his arms. "I'm fine."
"Bullshit.". She slipped out of his grasp and curled up between his legs, taking over half of his length in her mouth.
"Fuck-" It wasn't even close to being the first time she'd given him head, but there was something about the urgency in the way she used her tongue. She'd told him she loved him several times since Gibbs had stopped by and he had the feeling she was trying to show him how much she loved him, a way to ease his worries. He was surprised that, as she worked his dick and his thoughts turned to his former boss, someone Abby had been in a relationship with, it didn't do anything to cut back his desperate need to come. He wondered briefly if Abby was pretending that she was sucking on Gibbs' dick. And even if she wasn't thinking about Gibbs, had she given him the same treatment? The mental image of Abby's head bobbing furiously up and down over Gibbs' lap, her jet black pigtails swinging to and fro caused his hips to jerk upwards. He was in the middle of the best oral sex in his life and he was picturing his lover and their boss. He wanted to care, he thought he should care, but in the end all his mind went back to was the fact that a skilled tongue was doing things he didn't think were possible to his dick.
In the end he gave a hoarse cry as he came, his fingers tangled in Abby's hair. He was vaguely aware of her cleaning him up and then resting her head on his thigh. "You okay?" He couldn't help but ask.
"Mm, perfect." She pressed a couple of kisses to his thigh, then one to his soft dick, giggling at the slight twitch she got from his oversensitive softening dick.
"C'mere." Tony tugged her up into his arms, throwing a leg over her to keep her as close as possible. "Love you."
She mumbled what he thought was a 'love you too' but the soft breath she huffed out against his chest and the slow even breaths she took afterward suggested she was already asleep.
"I just want you happy, babe. You do what you gotta do. I'll be okay." He pulled his fingers through her hair a few times and then pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'll be okay," he repeated.
If he said it enough, he was bound to believe it.
They had gotten ready for work quietly Monday morning, moving around each other with practiced ease. Abby showered first, and sat down to the eggs and toast Tony had made for her. She decided to drive in separately, popping into the bathroom while Tony was still in the shower to let him know.
"Okay, I'll see you there," he peeked around the shower curtain and answered with a little nod before turning back to the water.
Her palms were sweaty as she rode the elevator up to the squad room. As the doors open she sucked in a deep breath and stepped out. For some reason she had expected NCIS to feel different with Gibbs back, but McGee and Ziva were both at their desks, bent over their keyboards. Other agents passed back and forth along the hallway, sidestepping around her to get on the elevator.
She stood and watched, waiting for any sign that things were different, but when nothing happened she took a step forward, and then another until she was standing beside Ziva's desk. "Morning."
"Good morning, Abby. How are you?"
"I'm… I'm okay," Abby nodded. "I… have you seen-"
McGee interrupted. "Tony isn't in yet," he glanced at his watch. "He still has five minutes. Not that it matter since he's lead now."
Abby glared at McGee and turned back to Ziva. "I'm not looking for Tony."
"Abby?" Ziva stood and circled around her desk to stand beside Abby, looking her over as if she was expecting to find her injured. "Are you okay? If not Tony-"
"Gibbs!" McGee stood in a flash.
"Gibbs is not here, she's not looking for him." Ziva called over her shoulder, keeping her eyes on Abby.
"I'm right here." Gibbs moved down the stairs quickly. "Fornell re-opened a case we worked together."
"Gibbs, it's good to see you again." Ziva offered her hand as he approached and smiled when he took it with a nod. "Are you back?"
"Looks like Jen forgot to file my retirement package. I'm working as an official NCIS agent on-"
"You're back!" McGee said.
"This case."
"And after..?"
"I don't… I don't know." Gibbs spared a glance toward Abby and then headed for the elevator, tucking his badge into his pocket. "I'll be back in a bit." He said it to everyone, but was looking at Abby as he said it.
"I'll be in my lab." She watched him until he disappeared from sight into the elevator.
"You must be so happy." Ziva smiled, happy for her that Gibbs was back.
"He left me Ziva. I don't know what to feel anymore." With that she turned on her heel ignoring McGee as she headed to her lab.
"Can I take you to lunch?"
Abby startled at the sound of his voice. She knew he would be down at some point, but actually hearing him again – she hadn't been ready for it. "I see you haven't lost any of your skills as far as sneaking around."
"Didn't mean to scare you."
"So… you're back?"
"I'd rather go sit down somewhere and… and talk."
"Are you going to actually talk, or…? Because I don't even know what to say at this point," she shrugged. It was difficult to not throw herself at him, despite the feeling of abandonment. He looked good, healthy and well rested. He had shaved the scruff off his face and a part of her wanted nothing more than to cup his face in her hands and kiss him senseless. The other part of him wanted nothing more than to slap him.
Gibbs hated the pain that was evident in her eyes and even worse he hated that he was the one to put it there. "Let me take you to lunch."
"Yeah, ok." Abby nodded. She grabbed her jacket and purse and followed him toward the elevator. Tony, Ziva and McGee all looked up as the pair walked through the squad room. "Lunch, I'll be back soon." She made sure to make eye contact with Tony. She needed him to know she wasn't going home with Gibbs, and that they would be close by.
"Later." Tony gave a little smile and turned back to his computer.
As soon as the doors closed, Ziva smiled. "She must be thrilled that he is back. He is her soul… what do you call it… date?"
"Mate," Tony answered, trying to not sound miserable.
"Yes, that. They never admitted it, but it wasn't hard to see they were so in love. It would seem that he has finally remembered what they had before. Before the explosion."
"Looks like it," McGee agreed.
"Sorry Tim," Ziva frowned. "I know you and Abby were close."
"Ah, it's okay. It was a long time ago. What she and Gibbs had… I could never get between that. I just want her happy."
Tony tuned out the conversation. No one knew about him and Abby, he couldn't blame them for not knowing, but even so, Abby's love for Gibbs had been so obvious. To his knowledge, no one even suspected anything between he and Abby.
How can I stand between them? Abby had told him she wasn't leaving him. She loved him and she wouldn't walk away. He believed her, too. But he wasn't sure he could stand between them, even if Abby wasn't complaining. "Coffee. Call me if we catch a case." He had to get out of there – he felt like he was suffocating.
He wasn't looking for them, but after grabbing a cup of coffee as his favorite stand, he paused across the street from the café on the Navy Yard, something catching his eye. He looked up just in time to see Gibbs reach across the table, his hand covering Abby's. He watched her smile shyly, but make no move to pull away.
Abby slid into the booth and turned to the waitress, ordering them both a coffee while Gibbs sat across from her.
"So," she started once they were alone. "Are you staying at NCIS? Is Director Sheppard giving you your job back? Are you going to take it?"
Gibbs nodded. "I can't see myself anywhere else."
"You need to tell Tony. What about him? His promotion?"
"Jen will tell him. He can either stay on my team as before, or she'll offer him his own team. He's more than ready."
Abby nodded. She was well aware of the fact that Tony was perfectly capable of leading his own team, he'd led this team for the past four months. "He'll stay on your team."
"You and DiNozzo… you're together now, aren't you?"
She cringed at how soft his voice was as he asked if she and Tony were together. "You left," she paused when the waitress set their coffee in front of them. "Thanks." Unable to take her eyes off her coffee mug, she continued. "And you didn't remember what we had and then you came back and you remembered me, but you still didn't… I didn't think you every would and I-"
"Abbs," Gibbs reached across the table and brought her gaze up to look at him. "It's okay. I'm glad you moved on. All I want is for you to be happy. It's all I ever wanted and if Tony makes you happy," at a loss as to what to say, Gibbs just let is words trail off and instead ended his thought with a little nod.
"But I love you Gibbs. I always will."
He reached across the table, his hand covering hers. "I know. And I love you. I remember that now."
Abby could feel her cheeks flush slightly and she dropped her gaze as a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I just…" She sobered again. "I just wish the explosion never happened. I mean, besides the physical pain and the emotions that were brought up. I just… we would still… you were gone four months and I moved on. Four months, Gibbs. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. If you're happy with DiNozzo…"
She felt guilty admitting it, but she could never lie to Gibbs. "I am, but I… oh God, what did I do?" She covered her face with her hands.
"Easy Abbs," Gibbs got up and moved around to sit beside her. "I didn't take you out to upset you. I just want to know that you're okay." He pulled her sideways against his chest and kissed the top of her head. "Everything will be okay."
Abby hugged him and pressed her face against his neck, inhaling the familiar scent. She wasn't sure she would ever get over Gibbs. He was the first person to make her feel whole, the first person who hadn't even seemed to notice how different she was to all the other women at NCIS. But she couldn't just walk away from Tony. Gibbs had walked away from her – there was no way she could do that to Tony.
In the end they managed to switch topics, slowly falling into their old banter. They kept the topics light, and Abby stayed away from the topic of family. She had questions about his late wife and daughter, but that was a conversation that deserved some privacy – if he would be willing to talk about it at all, she wasn't sure.
Just as the stepped outside of the café, Gibbs' phone rang. It was Fornell, asking Gibbs to meet him at a hotel where he suspected Derrick Paulson was hiding out. "Be there in fifteen." He dropped his phone back in his pocket and turned back to Abby. "Fornell thinks he might have a lead on Paulson."
"Be safe," Abby pushed up on her toes and kissed his cheek and then pulled away with a gasp. "Sorry. Force of habit," she turned and headed back to NCIS before he could answer.
As Gibbs headed up the front step to where Fornell was waiting, Tony hesistated and walked beside Ziva. "Gibbs was awfully quiet in the car."
Ziva laughed "It's not like you gave him much chance to talk Tony. Is it making you nervous that he might want his old job back?"
Tony smiled, "Come on... I'm just bringing him up to speed on the latest protocols."
"Uh huh."
Mickey Stokes let them and rattled on about Derrick Paulson until they realized their car was missing. It irritate Gibbs to no end, but Tony felt especially used. He had been leading the team without incident since Gibbs' left, and now that he was back they fucked up. Tony wanted Gibbs to see that he had been doing a good job in his absence.
He eyed the older man carefully as Gibbs called for another car to pick them up. He looked good, tan, healthy. He looked like the man in charge and suddenly Tony realized that he was all too happy to hand the lead position back to Gibbs.
The Director had pulled him aside to let him know that Gibbs was back, and that she was giving the team back to him. Before Tony could breathe a sigh of relief, she had offered Tony his own team, and told him to take a few days to think about it.
"The rest of the team doesn't know, won't know until this case is closed. I don't want them thinking about it while trying to find Paulson. Think about it," she'd said.
And he had thought about it. Thought about it in the time it took for him to get back to his desk. He couldn't walk away from the little family he had built for himself. It didn't matter that it wasn't the family his father had wanted for him (but then again, his father hadn't exactly give him a shining example of family life either).
He followed Gibbs down to Abby's lab where they both stopped in the doorway to listen.
"Paulson could be after any of a half dozen witnesses."
Agent Lee flipped through the stack of files on Abby's table, "I've never seen a convicted felon file so many appeals. It's an abuse of the system."
Abby shrugged. "We're all entitled to our day in court."
"Not according to Agent Gibbs. In going over his case files he seems to have more of a biblical approach to things. You ask me the agency's better off without him."
Abby slammed down the folder she had been reading and turned to glare at Michelle. "Excuse me?"
"I…"
"She can kill you without leaving any forensic evidence; you may want to remember that." Tony slipped in between the two women, turning Abby back toward her computer.
"What do you got for me Abby?" Gibbs ignored Michelle and stepped up on the other side of Abby.
"Paulson's fingerprints on Mickey's gun case and the computer," Abby started to explain.
Michelle broke in, "And he also visited over a dozen people search sites, I think he was looking for someone."
"Yeah I got that part." Gibbs nodded, but kept his eyes on Abby, waiting for her to make eye contact - If not with him, at least with Tony. He hated seeing her so torn.
"No names yet, but I'm using the FBI's mainframe to decrypt the search...hey." When the results popped up, Abby finally looked at him with a genuine smile. "You always did have really good timing."
Suddenly a second window popped up on the screen with an older blonde "Mickey! Where the heck is Mickey you tramp!"
"Mickey isn't here," Abby shouted back and then turned to both men, "It's Mickey's online playmate. She keeps coming through my firewall."
Gibbs ignored the other woman and read over her original findings. "Russell Nash. Apparently the only accomplice Paulson didn't kill."
"Yeah. And the one he really should have." Abby opened her mouth to continue but was cut off by Michelle.
"Nash copped a plea and testified against Paulson, Paulson got life and Nash walked in 18 months. Skipped out on his parole. Hasn't been seen since."
Abby frowned at the other woman and then looked at Gibbs again. "Well if the money was never found, then maybe Paulson is looking for Nash 'cause he thinks Nash has the money."
"Or Paulson is looking for something a little more...'biblical.'" Gibbs gave Michelle a look that sent her scurrying. He was halfway toward giving Abby a kiss on the cheek as usual when she moved away from both men.
"You'd better find Nash."
Tony knocked on Gibbs' door for the first time in over two years. Normally he would have barged right in, but since he wasn't sure how to approach the subject of Abby, he decided he needed the few extra minutes to sort things through.
"Door is still unlocked," Gibbs said when he opened the door and waved Tony in.
"Beer." Tony held up a six pack of beer he knew Gibbs liked.
Gibbs eyed him a moment and then nodded, pointing to the couch. He watched Tony plop down onto the soft cushions before taking a seat opposite him. He accepted a beer when Tony handed it to him and used the keys in his pocket to pop the cap off. He didn't stare at Tony, but he watched him curiously as the younger man thought of what to say. The four months he'd been away had been good to Tony. He looked healthy, and fit. Maybe a little worn around the edges from a constantly trying to keep up with getting enough sleep, but that was to be expected.
"I'm here about Abby."
"Figured as much."
Tony looked at the older man a moment. He could see he was trying to be patient and wait for Tony to say what he was going to say. He could also read how much Gibbs was interested in whatever he had to say about Abby. It was clear he hadn't been lying when he told Abby he remembered everything – including loving her. "She misses you."
"I know." Abby was easy to read most days.
"She still loves you."
Gibbs nodded. He knew that too.
"She loves me too." Tony took a long drink of his beer. "But I can't… She's miserable. I can't sit and watch her be miserable like this. I need to do something, I need to make it better for her." Hell, he needed to make it better for himself too, but he couldn't do that. Didn't know how.
"What the hell are you suggesting, DiNozzo?"
"I… I don't know. All I know is that Abby won't walk away from me. She doesn't want to hurt me the way you hurt her. But she loves you and it kills me to watch her watch you from a distance."
"So you're what, you want to do me a favor? You're going to walk away from her? You'd be no better than me if you walk away from her now."
"No. No, I couldn't… I… I don't know what I'm suggesting, I just… isn't there a happy medium? I just want her to be happy."
Gibbs sighed. "I'm not gay, DiNozzo. I'm not looking for…"
"I know that, boss," Tony said with a slight hint of disappointment. He never thought Gibbs would be interested it, but hearing it flat out wasn't easy either. "I'm not suggesting some wild threesome or whatever. But maybe… I don't know, if Abby wants to, you know… spend time with you," Tony absentmindedly rubbed the back of his head. "Well, that would be okay. And you know, you could take her out sometimes, like you did before."
"Generous of you," Gibbs tilted his beer up to his lips. "So I don't have to ask your permission to talk to her?"
"No, what I'm trying to say is that if you still want to fuck her I'm not going to stand in the way," Tony shouted.
"DiNozzo!" Abby wasn't some piece of meat for them to barter over.
"What? I'm terrified of losing her, Gibbs. Terrified, so if I have to share her with you, then at least I don't have to spend the next however long wondering if one day I'm going to wake up and find a note on the pillow saying she just couldn't fake it anymore."
"She loves you."
"I know. Scares me."
"Scares you?"
"No one has ever loved me like that. Ever. And I don't know what I'd do if she walked away. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm… I want her to have options." Tony gave a sad laugh. "Sad isn't it? I'm here telling you that if you want to sleep with my girlfriend, I'm okay with that. I'm that insecure," he shook his head.
"I'm not trying to take her from you. Just keep her happy, it's all I ask."
Tony's eyes widened. "I'd never hurt her."
"I know." Gibbs got up and circled around to sit beside Tony. "If I didn't think you could've kept an eye on them, I wouldn't have left you in charge. I mean that. I did… I didn't expect you and Abby to… But you kept her safe. You've kept them all safe and together and that says a lot Tony." It was the closest to praise as he'd ever really handed out.
"Thanks."
"And don't let Abby's love scare you. It's intense, but it's wonderful." And with that, he headed to the basement. Tony could show himself out when he was ready.
It was two days before Tony had the guts to find Abby alone and ask if he could come over after work. NCIS had been miserable – Abby avoiding being alone with either of them. Hurrying home alone where she could lose herself in her thoughts, accompanied by a cloak of silence.
"Sure. Tonight is fine, but uh… tomorrow I'm going to talk to Gibbs."
"That's fine. I'll be over around seven." Tony turned to leave again, when she reached out and stopped him. "Yeah?"
"Will you spend the night? I just… I'm tired of being alone."
Tony moved in close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, I'll stay."
"I talked to Gibbs."
Abby stalled, her arms elbow-deep in soapy water. One too many times the dishwasher had leaked so Abby had switched to doing the dished by hand. "Oh? You're not mad I'm going over there to talk to him, are you?"
Tony shook his head and filled up the second side of the sink with clean water to rinse the dishes she was washing. "No."
"Because I'm not going over there to… we're not gonna…" Abby sighed. "He said he felt like he owed me an explanation of what happened. About his wife and daughter. I want to know what he went through, I have to know."
"You think it'll better help you to understand why he left?"
"Maybe? I have an extra box of tissues in my bag, just in case," Abby handed him two wine glasses to rinse. "I just think that if I can understand, then I can be at peace with everything, you know? Even though I know it's not my fault, I still wonder if… I dunno, I just want to know what exactly happened."
"Understandable. And um, like I said… I talked to him and if you guys… you know, want to uh… well, for old time sake or whatever. I don't mind."
Abby kept scrubbing the plate in her hand until the words sank in. "Wait, what?"
"Come on, the sparks that you shared had to be amazing and I know you feel guilty being in the middle. You've told me you won't leave me for him, but when I see you look at him… I don't want to stand in the way of that. I don't particularly want to hear about it either though, so try and keep it on the down-low, okay?" Tony played it off casually.
"Tony, I'm not going over there to sleep with him."
"I know, but what I'm saying is that if you do… it's no big deal. I can only imagine how hot you two are together. It's got to be some sort of crime to get between that."
"Wait, we're hot? You think Gibbs is hot?"
"No!" Tony answered quickly – too quickly. "Together, the chemistry you have. That's hot."
Abby looked at him, but said nothing, instead pulling him to the couch to curl up and flip channels. She was unsure of his reaction to Gibbs. Most every many she knew, would've made sure that she was meeting Gibbs somewhere public, or asking to go with or… something. But Tony seemed so comfortable with her spending time with Gibbs outside of work, that she just couldn't drop it.
"You missed Gibbs, too, didn't you?"
"Huh?"
"While he was away. You enjoyed being team leader, but you don't seem upset about handing back the job. You missed him."
Tony laughed. "The job was never mine, I was just filling in while he was away."
"But we didn't think he would come back."
"I know." Tony's face drew serious. "I guess I just hoped he would. So yeah, maybe I missed him. Felt a little lost without him."
Abby shifted so she could look at him.
"I mean, not lost lost, just… It was nice to have someone who was so confident in what they were doing to make sure you're doing the right thing," Tony covered. He had no way to explain to Abby how he felt about their boss. He wouldn't admit, even to himself, that he was remotely attracted to him. He wasn't gay, and neither was Gibbs, but there was something that drew him to the older man. Something he couldn't explain, though if he allowed himself to be open with Abby, she would probably understand. Gibbs was like a magnet – you couldn't not be drawn to him.
As Abby snuggled up against him again, he couldn't help but wonder if this is what Abby had done when she was with Gibbs. Despite being best friends, she hadn't been the most open about her relationship with Gibbs, which on one hand he'd been thankful about, but on the other hand made him curious.
Did they watch movies together? Tony knew he wasn't a movie kinda guy, but Tony could count maybe a handful of things that he wouldn't do for Abby, so he assumed Gibbs had been the same way. Did they have sex often? Before Gibbs had come back sex wasn't a nightly thing, but they didn't go more than a day or two without some sort of sexual encounter – and sometimes it was more than once a day. Was Gibbs rough with her the way she sometimes wanted Tony to be rough? Or was Gibbs careful with her, always mindful of just how strong he really was.
As soon as his body started reacting to his thoughts, Tony knew he had to back off. By the time Abby was ready for bed, he was able to stand without any evidence of being aroused. That night he had to will his body under control when Abby snuggled into his arms and kissed the center of his chest as she whispered goodnight.
As she headed up Gibbs' front step, Abby wasn't sure if she should knock or just go in like usual. Luckily Gibbs solved her dilemma by opening the door for her as she reached the top step. "Come on in."
"Thanks." Abby slipped out of her jacket when Gibbs reached for it and dropped her bag on the small table by the door.
"Coffee?"
"Please."
"Still drink it with milk and a hint of sugar?"
Abby nodded, and once Gibbs was headed for the coffee machine, she moved to the couch, curling up in her favorite spot, wrapping her arms around the pillow she found there. As nervous as she was to be there, she felt at home. She couldn't count the number of nights she had spent curled into his side, paging through the latest science journal as he watched the news or flipped through old case files. Occasionally he'd ask her about the evidence or she'd show him the highlights of some new research she was interested, but mostly they were content to do their own things so long as they had the physical presence of the other.
Gibbs held a steaming cup of coffee in front of her, holding it until she focused on it and then reached out for it. He set his cup down on the coffee table and then went to the mantle over the fireplace, picking up a faded old box and returning to sit beside her on the couch. "This stuff, Abbs… I should've told you about them sooner. I wanted to," he placed his hand over the lid, "but I couldn't. I just couldn't do it." He looked at her, hoping she understood even a fraction of the emotion he felt. He had agonized over sharing the details of his late wife and daughter almost daily while they were together, but at the end of the day, he had been too afraid that Abby would feel like a replacement – like the women before her – and walk away. In the end, he'd been the one to walk away and for that he figured she at least deserved to know the truth.
"Gibbs, if you're not… I'd like to understand, but if you're not ready to talk about this, don't feel like you have to do it." She wanted to know, but for a split second she swore she saw a repeat of the emotional pain she had seen when he had woken from his coma. And despite her curiosity, the pain she had seen was engrained in her memory and something she never wanted to see again.
"I want to tell you. You deserve to know. I was just afraid you wouldn't understand-"
Abby leaned closer and pressed her hand to his back reassuringly. "That I wouldn't understand what? That you loved someone else? You were married three times before, that I knew of. I hardly thought I was the first one in your bed."
"But the way those other relationships ended," he lifted the lid from the box and picked up a photograph, a copy of the one Abby had found in the basement. "They ended because I couldn't get over them." He leaned back against the couch and handed Abby the photo.
Abby took the photo, and like she had done in the basement, she traced lightly over their faces. "You look so happy."
"Was happy with you, too, now that I remember. It's why I didn't say anything. Didn't want you to think I was comparing you to what I had."
Abby nodded, but said nothing. It would've taken some time to get used to the idea of him having had a wife and daughter, but it also would have explained how some of the cases had hit him harder than the rest of the team. Cases with children had hit them all hard, but even with a happy ending, Gibbs had taken it harder than the rest. Abby gazed down at Shannon's face. She had seen two of his three ex-wives and they all had similarities to Shannon: petite with fair and freckled skin and red hair. With the exception of their fair coloring, Abby had nothing in common with Shannon looks-wise. It was hard to say exactly how she would've felt, but walking away from Gibbs, she was certain wouldn't have been one of her thoughts. "They sure are beautiful," Abby said, finally drawing her eyes away from the photo. "Both of them."
"Yeah."
"What happened?" She had done a bit of research online, but she wanted to know what he knew – she assumed he'd have done a bit more research right after they died.
"Shannon witnessed a murder on her way home from work. She was able to get away, but they saw her. She called the cops and they put her and Kelly in a hotel under a different name for a few days. Then, when the trial was postponed, they were entered into the witness protection program, but someone found out where they were headed. They were in the process of being moved when their driver was shot and killed. The car crashed," Gibbs took an old newspaper article out of the box and handed it to her. "They didn't make it out."
Abby couldn't keep her hands from trembling as she read the article. She could see where tears had dropped and then dried, a few letters smeared in the process. "I'm so sorry," she reached up to catch a tear before it rolled down her cheek. "I wish I had known, or there was something that I could…" She shrugged, afraid her voice would betray her if she continued to speak.
Gibbs took the article and tucked it away back in the box with the photo resting on top. Moving it to the coffee table he wrapped an arm around her. "But you did, you've done so much for me," he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, when she moved willingly into his arms. "And for that, I thank you." He couldn't count the number of times he'd been sick and tired of everything – of what NCIS threw at him, of losing good people to the terrorists of the world, of his loneliness. But he'd had Abby, and that was enough. Even before they had taken their relationship to the next level, she had been a bright light in his otherwise dark life. Even on the worst of days, all it had taken was her bright smile to decide that maybe life wasn't all bad.
Abby wrapped her arms around his torso and snuggled impossibly closer. "Tell me about Mexico."
Gibbs propped his feet up on the coffee table and slouched down, waiting for Abby to get comfortable before pulling his fingers through her hair. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything. What did you do while you were there? Tell me about Mike Franks."
"He lives in a small house on the beach, far away from everything. Has to drive fifteen minutes to get to the nearest cantina. I spent a lot of time fixing his place up. Wanted me to build him a hot tub."
"Build a hot tub?" Abby lifted her head to look at him, a hint of a smile on her face. "Can you build me one next?"
"No, it's half the reason I left. I can patch a roof or build a deck, but I draw the line at hot tubs. He lives on the beach for Christ sake. Water is plenty warm."
"I don't have a warm beach to visit, so I need one."
"Yeah, you find a space in your tiny apartment where a hot tub will fit and I'll consider it." He tugged playfully at a lock of her hair.
"Yeah, alright, point taken."
Gibbs told her about Franks' friend Camilla and how somehow Franks had managed to convince her to deliver groceries on a fairly regular basis. He told her about their fishing trips they took and how once they had almost been caught out at sea when a storm rolled in. Abby hugged him tighter as he told her about how they had almost abandoned the small boat in hopes of weathering the storm in lifejackets.
"Did you ever think about…" she so badly wanted to ask if he thought about her at all while he was away, "think about NCIS? About coming home?"
"At first I didn't think about NCIS at all. I was still so emotionally caught up in what happened… back in 91," he answered honestly. "But then… especially after I came back to help Ziva, there wasn't a day that didn't go by where I didn't think about you." He knew what she had been asking, even if she hadn't used those exact words. "And I should've come back sooner, I just wasn't ready."
"I'm sorry I was so angry with you last time. I came here, I was going to try and stop you from leaving again. But I was too late. I went downstairs to break your boat, but then I saw you had named her after your daughter and I couldn't do it."
"I couldn't have stayed; I still didn't remember us at that point. I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't tell the difference between what I remembered and what I thought I should remember. That wouldn't have been fair to you."
"We could've started out slow; I didn't want to rush you. I just need you in my life and to have you walk away, twice, almost killed me."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
They sat quietly letting everything sink in until it was Abby that finally spoke again. "Have you worked any more on your boat? I know you haven't been back for long, but…"
"Most every night since I've been back."
"Can I see..?"
"Sure." Gibbs picked up his coffee cup and headed for the basement, waiting until she was behind him, her own coffee cup in hand, before opening the door to the basement and heading down.
The smell of sawdust hit Abby immediately, and she couldn't help but notice at how relaxed it made her feel. She followed him to the workbench to set her coffee beside his and then turned to circle the boat, running her hand over the smooth ribs that hadn't been sanded the last time she'd been down. "Coming along nicely."
Gibbs nodded and picked up the sander, picking out a few places that we're quite smooth enough for his standard.
"Will she make it to water?" Abby moved back to her coffee cup and hopped up on the workbench to watch him work.
Gibbs kept focused on his work, but nodded. "Think so."
"Will you take me sailing on her when she's finished?"
"I'd like that."
It was so easy for them to fall into their old habits. Abby loved watching him work, the way his muscles danced with every move he made as he worked on the boat - everything from the broad expanse of his back to his tan arms and his strong hands. It had been five month since she had last felt his hands on her bare skin. She closed her eyes at the thought of his rough fingers, running ever-so-gently over her most sensitive spots. She was startled from her thoughts when Gibbs cursed and dropped the sander.
"What is it?" Abby asked, her tone laced with worry.
"Splinter." Gibbs angled the light down to his finger, rotating his hand to try and catch some light on the splinter. He moved over to the work bench opposite Abby to find a well-used pair of tweezers.
Abby watched as he tried to get at the splinter, but with his less than perfect eyesight and the fact that he refused to wear glasses unless absolutely necessary, she knew his attempts were futile. "Let me have a look." She switched on a small light that was clamped to the shelf beside her head and waited for Gibbs to walk over and hand her he tweezers.
She held his hand up close to her face, eyeing his finger as she rotated it slowly under the light. "Ah, I see it… just… hold…"
It didn't go unnoticed that he found himself standing between her knees, in front of where she was perched on the work bench. Gibbs watched the way her brow furrowed and her tongue darted out the side of her mouth as she concentrated on his finger. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to look at her, watch her so closely without it drawing her attention to him. He felt a sharp sting in his finger and then nothing.
"There! I think I got it," Abby said proudly, holding his finger a little closer to the light to be sure. She put his finger to her lips and kissed it gently. "All better."
"Thank you." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and traced his fingers along the soft, pale skin of her jawline.
Abby closed her eyes and sighed softly before looking up at him through her long, dark lashes. He was right there, so close. She could feel a soft huff of his breath on her face and she could handle it anymore. She reached up with her hand, wrapping it around the back of his neck to pull him in that last inch. Kissing Gibbs again, Abby felt the stress of the past four months melt away. When Gibbs cupped her face in his warm hands, she dropped her hold on his neck and wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling him as close as possible.
Tasting her lips again for the first time in so long almost brought Gibbs to his knees. He couldn't understand that how he would have been able to forget something so incredible. As Abby scrambled to both pull him closer and shed him of his shirt, he stepped back half a step. "Upstairs."
Abby jumped off the workbench, a smile on her face as she pressed onto her toes to kiss him again, and then lead him up the stairs.
Turning to close the basement door behind him, Gibbs gave a little tug and pressed Abby against it, devouring her mouth once again, distracting her momentarily from her destination of the bedroom. But as soon as she tugged at his shirt, he once again stepped away, this time the one to lead the rest of the way to the bedroom.
Abby tugged once again at his shirt, this time helping him out of it and tossing it aside. She leaned forward and peppered kisses across his chest and along his collar bone, her hands covering almost every inch of his bare skin, remembering every little freckle and scar. As Gibbs sat on the edge of his bed to take off his shoes, Abby removed her own shirt and kicked off her shoes. She slid out of her pants and then went to Gibbs and straddled his lap.
Gibbs grinned up at her as she pushed him on his back. Even though he still had his jeans on, she was down to her bra and underwear and he could hardly tear his gaze (or his hands) away. Moving his hands from her hips, to her butt, he pushed her down against his growing arousal.
"Gibbs…" Her panties were already soaked and he hadn't even touched her anywhere near where she wanted his touch.
Pulling her down for a kiss, Gibbs eagerly worked the clasp of her bra open and slid the straps down her shoulders.
"Jeans…" Abby panted. "Take your fucking jeans off." She rolled off of him, pushing her underwear down her legs and watching with an appreciative grin as the rest of his body was revealed to her. He was more tan than she remembered, likely from the months spent on the beach, though his ass was just as pale as she remembered. His legs, long and lean curved up into his firm ass and his cock stood at attention as he stared at her, a feral grin on his face. "Well..?" She reached out for him, her body aching for his familiar touch.
As soon as she reached out for him, knelt on to the bed and crawled over her, dropping a kiss to her knee, then hip, ribs, chest and collar bone before devouring her mouth. He thrust against her hard, his dick making a trail of pre-come across the side of her belly.
"I need you, Gibbs." Abby tried to hold him even closer than she already was, afraid that if she lost bodily contact with him she would wake from a cruel dream.
"You got me, I'm right here Abbs." He kissed her again, slowly making his way along her jaw and neck then skipping to her breasts, nibbling gently at one and then the other. "Not going anywhere." He moved lower still, nipping the skin at her hip and then nosing his way down until he found his ultimate goal.
Abby's toes curled when he licked at the wet slick he found between her thighs, her hand dropping to the back of his head, wanting to both pull him away and hold him there. "I…"
"Let me… please."
Despite the sexual haze she was in, his please didn't go unnoticed and she found herself that much closer to finding release.
Regardless of having been away from her for more than four months, Gibbs found it easy to remember exactly what she liked. He used his tongue, tapping her clit and remembered how she responded so prettily when he nibbled and sucked over the surrounding flesh.
"I can't…" Abby moaned. She liked to think she was in better control of her body, but Gibbs no doubt remembered the short cuts to giving her a mind blowing orgasm with his just his tongue. Just as she thought she wouldn't last another second, Gibbs pulled away, nuzzling his way up her stomach, between her breasts and up her neck, his rough hands running up her hips and her sides, pulling her to him.
Gibbs thrust against her thigh twice, dropping his forehead to hers with a sigh. "Been dreaming about this."
"Then quit wasting time." Abby pushed him to his back and straddled him, gripping his shoulders as she lowered herself onto him.
"God-" Gibbs pushed his head back into the pillow as they rocked together. Gathering up enough strength, Gibbs maneuvered her back onto her back. He pushed the hair from her face, and leaned in for a tender kiss before encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. He could tell when she was mere moments away from finding release. He slowed his thrusts and worked his hand between them, his fingers zeroing in on her clit.
"Gibbs!" She shouted just before her orgasm took over. She didn't want to say it, afraid it would scare him into running back to Mexico, but she couldn't stop the words as they flowed from her mouth. "I love you, Gibbs. I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you," she chanted as he pushed into her over and over again.
"I love you, too," Gibbs ground out just before pressing his face to her neck as he came.
TBC
