Black and Gold- Chapter 13

HOLY FUCK I'M ALIVE.

You would not believe what I've been through.

I've missed this. But every time I wanted to write I get that 'I should be doing…' pang of guilt that I hate so damn much. The update after this one won't be nearly as delayed (like that's possible), I swear.

So I had about two hours of free time, right? I decide, 'hell to it. I'm gonna watch some anime while I do my school work.' Next thing you know I'm watching episode 6 again and I realize I've paused the screen to check out Emo Boy's ass. Don't look at me that way. Then I started reading my old reviews, which guilted me into re-opening this document.

And lo it was so. Be ware of my rustiness.

Mary was not best pleased. After weeks of confusion and danger, her boyfriend had all but dumped her, her best friend was a liar, and there was a rejected Halloween prop trying to impale her with it's own knee. Unpleasant.

It's not that she didn't care about Isaac. She did. Hooking up with one of the Elemental guys always seemed like something she was meant to do. They'd be bound together forever; it seemed almost obligatory, and once Leah and Adam were together, there was even more pressure to match up with Isaac. Mary confessed to at first finding him a little boring. He was too nice, too normal… but now she supposed that's what made him so special- by grounding the rest of them and keeping them sane. So didn't she love him? She'd contemplated saying so more than once, but never did. Maybe she never should have gotten with him at all, but the thought of never holding him, never having that first kiss… Ugh, this was all so confusing! Mary was the element of water- ever changing and hard to grasp; moody and not wanting to be confined. Commitment was difficult for her.

It was far easier to figure out how she felt about L.J.'s situation. After some consideration, Mary decided that she was actually quite furious. Recent scandal aside, the five of them were supposed to be there for each other no matter what. They'd stuck by one another throughout their whole childhood. They supported L.J. during her sister's betrayal; didn't she think they were worth trusting? For the Guardian Angel to have soul corruption was something that'd massively damage her reputation as successor if it went public, but why didn't L.J. at least show a hint of what she'd been going through? But that was the worst of it all. There were no hints. Mary had never suspected a damn thing. And they were meant to be best friends!

"Mary… uh, are you okay?"

Mary started- apparently her aura had taken a darker turn, concerning Leah.

"… I want to try something."


"Hey! What… are you doing?" Kira demanded, stomping along the stone roof of the tower.

"Check it out." Damian snickered, pointing at the darkness below. "Adam's totally lost in the maze."

Kira glanced over the edge, and sure enough, saw a silhouette wandering through the hedges.

"Nice."

John rolled his eyes, and looked Kira up and down. "So, are you really you, or are you in Witch mode?"

Kira scowled. "Bit of both."

"Oh, so you remember eh?" Damian mused, still looking over the edge,

"Yes." Kira sat on the cold stone, watching the desert sky glitter above as the moon dribbled blood down it's chin. "This was my lair. I lent it to Rachel for her research… Before she turned me into a spy…. and before that I was the youngest daughter of the Bat Clan, a coven-

"-who enjoys running an illegal magical underground and conning fanatics into killing weapons for them." John finished.

"…Sorry about that."

Damian shrugged. "Pfft, look, he's totally cheating by climbing over the wall!"

Kira quirked her brow but didn't respond. "L.J.'s about to kill herself, you know."

"Hah? Oh we know, we're the ones who put her up to it. We know you know, because you're the one who built the machine and modified the serum. Now that we all know that we know what we know, what of it?"

She set her jaw. "Are you willing to let your partner die? You were together, hell you resonated for years. Does escaping the contract mean that much to you?"

"You know what a monster Rachel is. This is the way to do her in, and the world needs her gone. She's powerful enough without crossing over. A couple more years with that life line hooked in L.J., who knows what might happen?"

"Don't pretend to care about that!" Kira snapped. "Because you don't. Either way you're just going to slink off to some dark corner and disappear when this is over. I slaved for a family who hated me, and you've been running away, alone, since your family betrayed you. So we're all traitors and cowards, and L.J. took us in anyway!"

"L.J. does these things because that's who she is, and because it's what has to be done. She needed a friend then and she needs to kill her sister now. That's all." John folded his arms.

"You don't honestly believe that." Kira clenched her fists. "L.J. went out of her way to help us and you know it."

"Because she didn't know who we were!"

"But we knew her. We knew what kind of person she was, and we betrayed her anyway."

"Yeah, because we're bad people, alright? Jesus." Damian muttered.

"No. No, you're just saying that to justify your actions. It's just so damn easy to say, 'oh we're bad people, the end.' Bullshit. We don't get to use that excuse. We've been through hell, and we're weak because of the decisions we made to try and get out of bad situations. But we're not bad people. L.J. saw something in us, now we have an obligation to her. She gave me a friend, someone I could trust and depend on! Someone who wouldn't just turn around and stab me in the back, or string me along until I wasn't useful anymore! Rachel played all of us to get to her. On that alone we should stand up and at least try to do something!"

The boys stared at the girl in silence.

"Whoa. You've been rehearsing that since you found out, haven't you?"

"Just shut up and get that idiot out of the maze."


Ugh, what a cluster fuck this is turning out to be.

"What're you doing here?" I asked with a sigh, sliding my hands into the pockets of my jacket.

There was no glass on the windows of the tower, allowing dust to blow in with the cold desert night's wind. It skittered across the cracked stone floors and scraped at the mirrors, which were already covered with a fine layer of grit and dust. But it didn't blur my view of the wispy shadow that circled my many reflections.

"I could ask you the same." Kid wasn't armed, but I had to admit that he didn't look pleased. "The Junior Elementals lost their powers some time ago. What happened? Where are John and Damian?"

"They're fine." I said passively, adjusting the jacket on my shoulders. "Everything's fine."

He looked at me analytically. "… They told me about your sister."

I froze a moment, but then rested my hands on the small of my back. "Did they tell you what happened to her soul?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, wondering why that was important. "…You banished it."

"Right…"

Four years of painted smiles and stuffed fears, and I was going to die tonight, so screw it. Let me come go a little crazy and tell the truth for once. I'd earned it. So I rubbed my neck and placed a hand over my heart.

"Did you know that we're made of the same stuff? We're both essentially clones of my mother, so we're almost identical. Even our souls looked the same, once."

"You're nothing like her, if that's what you're getting at." Kid said, taking a step closer. "Now let's go. There's an attack going on at the school, we can return to destroy this wretched place later."

"I really wanted to be. Like her, I mean." I zoned out thoughtfully, making no move for the exit. "She was so perfect. I could never understand why mother would make me at all. As if she needed another successor, when I'd never measure up to her anyways. Because you know, I never really got rid of Rachel."

"Your friends mentioned that she might be contacting you from the other world." Kid was looking at me with a mixture of anxiety, uncertainty and suspicion. "Does this have something to do with what's wrong with your soul?"

Ah. So he shook my friends down for the answers. Inconvenient, but I secretly wanted him to know the truth, to make him hate me and to drive him away.

"Don't you get it? I'm broken." I bit my lip, and leaned against the cool glass of one of the mirrors. "After I… extracted Rachel's soul, it shattered itself before going into the in-between. We're made of the same stuff remember? We fit together." I let this sink in, but the pause didn't last long.

He was a smart boy after all; he'd catch on fast. In the meantime, I kept talking.

"How do you think she found her way out of the in-between? She used me as an anchor. She's inside me. Sometimes she'll try to give me trouble, but it's mostly just nightmares." I made a 'pop' sound with my lips resignedly. "I've got something to do now, alright? Go home. Tell them I'm not worth looking for."

Swish.

In a flicker of movement, I saw Kid standing in front of me; skateboard in hand, blocking the path to the stairs. We stood that way a moment. He seemed unsure of how to address me, but there was still a blaze in his eyes. Of course. Kid was the kind of guy who was all about honor and ideals. Getting rid of him wouldn't be so easy.

"L.J., I can't understand what you're feeling... but giving into dark forces isn't the answer."

Dark forces. Really. If only I could see the world so black and white.

"What you don't understand is what she is." I said coldly. "I'm not doing this to throw a tantrum, you know! I have to, I don't have a choice."

"That's a lie and you're a coward for telling yourself otherwise!" Kid snapped back.

"You don't know what I'm doing!" Not that I could actually tell him with Rachel hovering there, but it was worth pointing out.

"I know that there's always a choice, and you're making a mistake!"

"And choice between what and what! ?" I demanded. "You're the golden boy with all the answers, so please, enlighten me! I'm doing what's necessary! Against her I'm nothing, you understand! Nothing! You just don't get it! This is war, and if I can't finish this, it's over! I'm not worth-"

Smack.

I stumbled back, mouth open, stunned. Even Rachel seemed surprised. After what felt like ages after the initial impact, a dull pain began to throb in my cheek. I looked up to see Kid folding his arms angrily.

"Did… did you just hit me?"

"I really dislike hitting girls." He said with unrepentant distaste. "But what you said is inexcusable! How dare you demean yourself that way!"

Most girls would be upset at being punched, but the lifestyle people like us lived made violence simply a means of communication, regardless of gender. Besides, my brain was busy slowly processing his words.

"Excuse me?" I glared at him, daring him to elaborate,

"You're a leader! People look up to, and depend on you." There was a passion in Kid's voice now, a new straightness to his posture, "By demoting yourself to garbage you're only copping out of the responsibility that comes with being Life's daughter. Godlings aren't just fragments, they're inspirations! Symbols of hope and security for the future! The Junior Elements practically worship you, and you're willing to abandon them because of what? You feel sorry for yourself? You're right, you don't deserve the position of Life's successor, but not because you were inadequate compared to your sister. You don't deserve it because you'd rather pity and breed contempt for yourself than suck it up and deal with it. If not for yourself, than you should at least do it for those who love you and accept you despite your flaws! Do you have any idea how hard I work to prove myself? I dream of having people with such faith in my abilities as a leader; to invest their lives in me the way your friends do!"

"They… I didn't… " I blinked rapidly, trying to rationalize.

Kid genuinely believed what he was selling. The whole "obligation and future leaders" thing. I shouldn't have been too surprised, Kid practically kept his father as a pedestal, believing that he'd be Reaper one day and repel the evils of the universe. Aside form symmetry, bring peace and order to the world was the only thing I'd seen Kid genuinely passionate or sensitive about. Proving himself a capable leader was what he lived for. Naïve as it was…his faith in his father made my relationship with my mother look especially dysfunctional in comparison.

But it didn't matter- if Rachel, a kishin egg, ate my soul then my Sphere lines would destroy her. This was my only shot, my only chance to save John, Damien, Kira and who knows how many innocent others. She wasn't even completely out of the in-between yet and she'd already done so much damage! Either I did this… or I did nothing and let her continue to destroy people's lives. My self esteem- pitiful though it may admittedly be- had nothing to do with anything. Shaking myself, I lowered my hands.

"…Please move."

"No."

"Ki-"

"No."

I glared at him exasperatedly for a moment.

"Why."

"Because you're better than her."

I froze. "What… what did you say?"

"You're stronger than she is, L.J. She was a selfish monster. But people care about you, and they trust you with their lives. You have the capacity to be a great leader, not because you're ruthless, or a genius, or miracle worker like a Phoenix. It's because you're a good person. You've been fighting Rachel all this time, and it's clear to me that you'd make a great Guardian Angel."

My mouth flapped open and closed as my mind tried to regain coherence. "Ah-"

"You're not buying this are you?" Rachel cackled, swimming through the air. "Sorry, but he's just buttering you up so you don't do something messy. What does he know? Why should he care about you? Does he know what a mess you are? Hell, are the two of you even friends? Does he know what I am? I am the Phoenix. Who would miss you when you're gone? I'd have done a better job than a lazy, absent minded child like you ever could. He doesn't know it yet, but he'll be glad to be rid of you. Why'd he want some emotionally unstable punk? Just wait until I'm out. I'll deal with mother, and make this world into something beyond anyone's wildest imaginings!"

She continued to ramble about her "plans" for the new world, apparently forgetting she was talking to me. I stumbled back slightly, almost covering up my ears before remembering I was hearing her in my thoughts.

"She's here isn't she?" Kid noted my discomfort, looking around and assuming a defensive stance.

I sighed distantly. "She's so much stronger than me, or you. There's no apologizing for some of the things I've done, but I am sorry, please believe me. I never meant for you to get caught up in my mess."

But I can still fix this.

I cracked my neck, resigned to my fate. No point getting worked up anymore. What was there to be upset about when everything would disappear in a matter of moments? Kid was still standing there, and the mixture of disappointment and frustration in his eyes told me that he knew there was no talking to me anymore. It just wasn't enough.

"But here's the thing." I said, stretching. "…You're still standing in my way."

CRASH.

Glass shattered everywhere, shards flying in all directions. I got cut in a few places, but my body was soon pushing out the glittering splinters, retracting the blood and closing up the wounds. He'd swiftly ducked my kick, allowing my leg to strike one of the mirrors.

"You don't have to do this." Kid said, and the tone of his voice clearly said 'stand down or I'll beat you down like I did during the orange-smoke.'

"I won't hold back this time." I said, stepping towards him.

"If you refuse to see reason, then I won't hold back either."

I attacked first, aiming a hit at his core, only to wind up rolled over his back as he ducked. I landed on my feet, skidding back in a crouch before springing forward. We were evenly matched, with the first few minutes being us continuously maneuvering around each other. He was a speed-based combatant like me, but was by no means lacking in strength- plus he had the advantage in build (as in he was a tall son of a bitch and it wasn't my fault) which he had no shame in using. I began to notice that he really favored kicks, whereas I was more of an elbow person. Silly as it sounded, it was easier for someone with my build (read: short) to block and strike while keeping my arms in the same types of positions. I'd keep my arms close, do a quick turn and strike him in the side as he tried to get behind me. Pop my elbow up again and deliver a blow to the chin and knock him back. Unfortunately, he'd noticed this too, and started aiming low, screwing with my footing. It kept me on defense as I tried to stay stable. A knee strike or two worked fine, but that only made my balance even more shaky, and then he knew to stay out of range. Someone that damn tall had no business being as flexible as he was, managing to constantly stay out of reach. I was vaguely aware of how we had been moving at increasingly inhuman speeds, mere blurs as the two Godlings clashed in their stubbornness. When Kid paused the barrage of attacks on my legs I took the moment to find my feet- only for him to use the instant of low guard to land his heel in my gut. Jackass. The next kick was caught in the crook of my wrist, allowing me to deflect and land a kick of my own in his chest. Oh, and he was pretty solid there too, another bloody advantage. Made me wish I'd managed to kick him in the face instead. The only consolation was that he was also getting frustrated- I was constantly on defense, meaning he had to stay on offense waiting for me to make a mistake- and constantly being on the attack was tiring, allowing me to make short, cruel blows whenever he was forced to pause. My smaller size did come in handy that way. I was also a tad less honorable. Not that I kicked him in the groin or anything, but I didn't exactly stomp on his toes and then bury my knee in his solar plexus by accident. Granted he did manage to nearly kick my shoulder out of place almost immediately afterwards- which hurt like a bitch and would have meant instant defeat if I was forced to re-set it in the middle of the fight.

But as I said, I fought dirty. I took a short moment to remember the sketches in the books mom showed me (I was always better at remembering images than text), and recalled the lessons on pressure points. Ducking another kick, I unfurled my elbow to reach out and jab into his nearest nerve. Attacking with only two fingers extended must have caught him off-guard, because he stumbled back long enough for me to strike again in the opposite point.

"Symmetry's your thing, right?" I said, slinging him hard into another mirror.

It cracked threateningly, but didn't shatter from the impact this time. Kid winced painfully, now feeling his entire wavelength seizing up and locking his joints. He was clearly disoriented and stubbornly trying to remain lucid.

"I am sorry." I repeated, clutching my shoulder- it had begun to pulse with pain as my adrenaline slowed. "And thank you. No one's ever spoken to me that way before."

Kid was incapable of answering, probably internally insulting my honor or something. He settled for a frustrated glare that I assumed translated to 'That was a dirty trick and once I can move again you'll be sorry, alright, for I shall lecture you into oblivion! A pox on your houses, you disgraceful cheat! For shame!' Or something like that. So, knowing that this state wouldn't last long, I turned to the stairs and tried to leave my emotions behind me. What was I feeling sorry for? I was the one about to die. He'd be fine.


"I know you know where she is, you manipulative son of a bitch!" Mary shouted, pounding an accusatory fist on Peter's chest.

The middle cupid didn't look impressed.

"Pardon?"

"Don't you bloody 'pardon' me! You may be an irresistible piece of ass but you know where our friends are and I'm not having any more of this nonsense!" Mary screeched, pinning Peter against the wall by the school balcony. "You've practically been sitting up here and watching with bloody popcorn, I know you know what's going on!"

Leah wearily stood in the background, watching the battle continue far below. "Mary, don't you think-"

"SSSH!"

"… Did you just shush me?"

"Look, sweetheart, there's no need to get worked up." Peter raised an eyebrow at the angry elemental's fists as they clenched and wrinkled his shirt. "You think we'd jeopardize our cousin's welfare? Ouch."

"Shove off! If you don't know anything, then where's Kira?"

"What or who Joey does in his free time is not for me to worry about. We may be cupids, but we're not that kinky."

Leah sensed a dangerous anger building within her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. This was sweet, patient, peacekeeping Mary- usually so quiet and sly. What had gotten into her?

"Where is she." Mary ground out from clenched teeth.

"If I remember right, didn't you volunteer to stay behind here?" Pete raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Could it be that avoiding your boyfriend troubles was more important than insuring L.J.'s safety? What grounds do you have to make accusations towards me?"

Mary's eye twitched, her resolve flickering a moment. Was… was this some sick test of theirs? Testing her loyalty to L.J.? It's the sort of thing they did. While it was true that Mary had purposely separated herself from Isaac, that didn't… L.J. was… oh, those sons of bitches.

"Take me to her. Now." Her voice was a deadly low pitch that Leah would never have dared refused, but the Son of Love just stared contently back.

"Honey." Peter smirked, prying the water godling's grip off his coat and holding her wrists lightly in his hands. "All you had to do was ask nicely."

You guys wanted L.J.-Kid interaction, I give you exposition dialogue and violence. Sorry. But I wanted to really get the complexity of their issues across. To be perfectly honest, Kid is NOT a very well developed character in-series. There's not much we know about him personally, only the OCD and how passionate he is about the ideals associated with becoming Grim Reaper. He really seems naive by seeing the world as only good and evil, and is very into the "responsibility and honor" thing. Aaand that's really all we know about him, so it was all I had to work upon. Hope I did okay. I'm also hoping L.J.'s not too wangsty or sue-ish.

Next update might actually be today, but I need to sleep first. This is totally unedited, btw. I'll probably wake, read this and scream later. Thanks for being so patient guys, you really are the best!