Cast List:

Bella's stalker: Rob Schneider

Edward's father: Terry Crews

Bella is searching around what looks like a field of white cloth. In the middle of the field is a bed with a naked guy on top of it. His privates are conveniently covered by the cloth. He is a fairly small guy with a weak composure. He's incredibly scared of Bella when he sees her. Bella maliciously smiles when she sees him.

"I'm gonna have some fun with you, boy!"

"No! Get away from me, scary lady!"

Bella goes over to him and tries to pin him down. He struggles, and manages to shove her off the bed. She gets up from the fall and sees her bed room. It seems that she was dreaming.

"Mother fucker!"

Bella breaks her bedroom window out of anger. She puts on her clothes for school and heads for her parents' bedroom. She walks to her mother, and kicks her on the backside.

"Make me some mother fucking breakfast, mother fucker!"

"Aww, are you in a bad mood, dear? Let me make you some breakfast."

"Make it snappy, bitch!"

Bella's mother runs out of the room in an excessively girly manner and heads for the kitchen. About 3 minutes later, her mother runs back to her room, and gives Bella a bowl of cereal.

"Thank you, bitch! If I wasn't a girl, I'd make you my wife!"

Bella takes the bowl of cereal and starts eating it as she walks to her front door. She exits the font door, and heads to school. She gulps down the last of the milk, and throws the bowl at a passing car. It breaks through the front window and hits the driver's head, causing him to lose control and crash. Bella continues walking to school as though nothing happened. When she reaches, the school, something strange is going on. Her classmate, Jacob Black, is acting very strangely. He has taken his shirt off, and is on top of the statue of the principal.

"Hell yeah! ADCD! Lets rock! Wooooooooo!"

"I should have used my god damn cereal bowl on this ass hole!"

Jacob is rocking his head up and down, but eventually passes out and falls off of the statue. Bella and everyone else watching loses interest and leaves the passed out Jacob on the ground. Bella attends class like usual, but Jacob is missing through part of the day. He eventually returns, and everyone says he was acting strangely because of head trauma. Nothing happens during class. During lunch time, Bella orders the daily special, and sits at a table with some of the more popular girls in the school. They aren't pleased with her sitting there, but they don't say anything, since she has a reputation for being violent.

"This is some good mother fucking food! Mmmmmmmm-mmmmmmm bitch!"

She gets a little too into her eating, and starts eating from the plates of the people she's sitting with. They stare at her with a bewildered expression at first, then they just leave the table with their trays still on the table. She pays no mind, and continues eating. Jacob notices of the food on the table, and starts picking at the food as well. Bella notices him and throws a plate at him, which he barely dodges.

"This is my god damn food, mother fucker! Get your own!"

"What the hell? It's not like a girl like you can eat all of this food! Share some with me!"

"If you don't get away from this table, I'm gonna have to whoop your fat ass!"

"You're gonna get fatter than me if you keep eating like that!"

Jacob makes those parting words and then leaves. Right as Bella finishes her food, and the food of 6 other girls, lunch break ends. Bella's having a hard time walking, but she somehow makes it back to class. As she's attending class, her stomach is in pain. She realizes how much of a mistake it was to eat 7 peoples' worth of food. While class is going on, she rushes to the female's bathroom. Luckily, all of the stalls are empty, so no-one has to be thrown out. Bella takes a seat and starts doing her business. She hears someone come in shortly after her. She pays no mind and continues. The person stops right in-front of her door. Bella's having a bit of trouble, but she's trying. Bella looks up, to see the top of a guy's head looking into her stall.

"You can do it!"

Bella's furious at the guy, but she can't get up. Bella finishes quickly, then tears down the stall door, but by the time she did, the guy was long gone. Bella starts to walk out of the bathroom, and the guy sneaks up to her and whispers in her ear.

"You did it!"

"You creepy mother fucker!"

Bella swings her fist at him, but he's not there. She begins doubting whether or not he was actually there to begin with. The rest of the school day goes by uneventfully. When school ends, Bella decides to look for Edward. She has no clue where he might be, so she starts looking around the park, but he's not there. She remembers that Edward had a maid and a limo, so she figured that he might live in the area where all of the rich people live. When she reaches the place, it doesn't take her long to spot the one large mansion with a gate that has a limo driven through it. The limo driver is on top of the car, and when he notices Bella, he stops her, and starts talking to her.

"Hey, little girl! Want to watch me kick a bear in the nads?"

"You go and get yourself killed by yourself!"

The drunk limo driver heads back into the limo, and drives off, hitting a few other cars on the way out. Bella walks in the mansion without knocking, and looks around for Edward. The maid she met yesterday spots her.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in here?"

"Can't you tell that I'm looking for someone?"

"No, I can't. I met you yesterday when you were talking to Edward. Is he the one you're looking for?"

"Why yes I am! Where the hell is he?"

"Hon, I'm the only one who's gonna lick his butter bowl. You're gonna get through me if you want to see him."

"Lets rumble, mother fucker!"

The maid and Bella get into fighting poses, and stare at each other. When they were about to fight, the roof collapses between them, and a large man appears from the rubble. He's a large, shirtless, muscular African American man, and he's riding on a white tiger.

"Why are you fighting in my house? Anyone wanting to destroy my property will have to answer to me!"

"Calm down, mother fucker! I'm just here to see Edward, and this god damn fat ass started shit with me!"

"Why didn't you say so? My son is asleep right now, and all this noise you're making will wake him up! Edward is weak to the sunlight, so he's only awake during the night! Come back then!"

"Calm the fuck down!"

The man riding the white tiger is apparently the owner of the house. He screams everything he speaks, which takes even Bella off guard, who only shouts everything she says. As he speaks, his body convulses, and veins bulge out of him. When the master of the house finishes talking with Edward, he punches down the door to a nearby room, and goes in there. The maid isn't anywhere in sight.

Bella decides to look for Edward while he's asleep. There's nothing that arouses Bella more than someone weak and helpless. She looks in each room that she can find, and eventually finds a bedroom with someone asleep in the bed. She concludes that this must be Edward's room. She walks up closer to him to see what he looks like. Edward looks exactly like the guy she saw in her dream earlier this morning. He's a small, Caucasian guy with a weak composure. She licks her lips at the sight.

"You're mine, you scrawny little bitch!"

Bella starts reaching for Edward's privates, but as she does, the wall in Edward's room collapses. The master of the house seems to be the cause, and he looks rather displeased, according to his standards at least. To any normal person, he looks furious.

"I told you not to wake my boy! I'm gonna have to use force to remove you from this house!"

"I don't think so, mother fucker!"

Bella throws a table at the house's owner, and jumps outside through the window. She knows she isn't a match for a guy that large and a white tiger. Bella decides to head back home, since it's getting dark outside. Her father greets her at the door. He's wearing a dress and a wig.

"Hello, my daughter! I'll be your mother today!"

"Those clothes suit a pussy like you!"

Bella's not in a good mood. She's like a dog who had a delicious piece of meat dangling in front of her, but was unable to eat it. She sees her mother wearing a suit, but still acting needlessly girly. Bella walks over to her mother, kicks her in the stomach, and throws her across the room. Bella goes to the kitchen, grabs a package of sandwich meat and a 2 liter of cola, and takes them to her room. After finishing her meal, she ends the day. She realizes that she should probably prepare a few weapons the next time she wants to visit Edward's house.

Chapter 2 end