The Bed Next to Mine

I had always been a sickly child. My parents and grandfather were always rushing me to a hospital almost weekly. They said it had something to do with some kind of disorder or whatever. I never really paid much mind to it, but then I started noticing little things everyone around me said or did. My older brother, Lovino — who was usually snarky with me —would start treating me like I was a china doll.

They placed me in a hospital and sat me down. "Isais Vargas, you'll be staying here for a while."

"How long is that?"

"Until we find a way to help you."

So thus began my long stay in this blinding white hospital. Besides the shitty food and every Monday and Thursday, I had the bitchiest nurses in the hospital, I was fine. They ran tests, gave me a lot of medicine, and then let me sleep or watching T.V. the rest of the day.

My parents and grandfather didn't visit much. My brothers and friends did, though. They'd bring me various gifts and presents. Feliciano was so worried that I was going to get lonely in my room.

"Ve~!" my caramel haired brother with light, emerald eyes asked. "When is Isais going to get a roommate?"

The doctor never really responded, but I was content. I didn't want to share a room. It was embarrassing enough at home having to get up and puke at various times — especially during the night – when I was living with my family. I didn't need a random stranger hearing me.

I eventually did get a roommate, though. He came into my life at the very beginning of March. Feli's constant begging pissed off Dr. Edelstein and he assigned a young man who was just barely twenty. He's about three years older than me.

"Isais, this is Emil Steilsson, and he will be sharing your room."

Emil had almost silver hair and violet eyes. He was ghostly pale – even more so than my friend, Peter Kirkland – and stick skinny. I didn't like him all that much. He was kind of a prick and ignored me. I would invite him to play cards with me, but he refused. When I would try to watch a soccer game, he would get pissed off and change the channel to the news or something stupid.

"So why are you here?" I tryed to start a conversation and be nice. He knew I was in here for some illness no one could figure out. He had heard all the conversations. His head snapped from the window and his uneasy glare settled on me.

"None of your damn business."

Oh wow, you're so fucking cool and mysterious. I wish I could be as cool as you.

I sighed and turned off the lights, turning on the television. I let Anderson Cooper lull me to sleep. Although I could've sworn I heard Emil get up that night to go into our bathroom and vomit.


I awoke that morning at six-thirty. It was really early and the door to the room had opened. I listened as the footsteps walked over to Emil's side of the room. "Emi, wake up."

I didn't know this voice. He wasn't a doctor or a nurse – I would know, I knew every doctor, nurse, cook, janitor, and security guard here. I knew every volunteer as well. I heard the Icelandic male groan and sit up in his bed. "Hey, you hungry?"

"No." Well, maybe he got the stomach flu or something last night?

"You need to eat," I rolled over in my bed, but the two voices paid no mind to me. "And keep it down. You're going to stay dehydrated. You almost overdosed on diet pills. You have acute pancreatitis…"

"Thanks. I haven't been told that at all."

"I'm just worried."

"Kiet, just shut up," Emil mumbled to this Kiet guy. "You're going to wake my stupid roommate." Kiet peaked over at me, and sighed. The man was Asian. I didn't know where from Asia, but he was Asian. He had black hair, and brown eyes with lavender specks, magnified by glasses.

"It doesn't matter," Kiet mumbled. "What matters is you get better. Besides, it doesn't look like he's any better off. He looks like death." I immediately shot up, and crossed my arms.

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted, taking on the persona of Lovino for a split second. "You know, Emil isn't a pleasant bastard to be around either!" Kiet stepped forward, looking almost feral. He wasn't afraid to punch a sick teen. I sunk back.

"Well, good thing you won't have to worry about him soon." Kiet opened a duffle bag and pulled out a stuffed elephant. "Here, Emi. Take care of Toto until I can come and get you. Bye," pressing a kiss against Emil's lips, Kiet opened the window and climbed out. Emil stood up and closed it, taking a seat back onto the bed.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes, Emil fidgeting with the raggedy elephant. "That was my boyfriend," he said, breaking the silence. I snorted. "If that wasn't obvious enough for you."

"If you're trying to see if I have a problem, I don't," I replied casually. "Both my older brothers are gay." Emil nodded, sighing as he flopped down into the bed, cuddling with Toto as he rolled onto his side to face me.

"My brother is too," Emil stated, sighing again. "A real keeper that guy is too. His name's Mikkel Densen. Loud, obnoxious…"

"Feli's boyfriend is a bit of a stick in the mud," I replied. "Lovi's boyfriend is pretty cool. I really look up to Toni.

For once, we were having a civil conversation.

"So," I casually begin after a long, awkward pause. "Do you really love Kite?"

"Kiet," the Nordic corrected. He thought about it for a millisecond, before replying, "Yeah, I do. I really do." He smiled.

"How do you know?"

"When he's constantly on your mind- not just before you go to sleep and after you wake up. He's in my dreams. Everything I do I think of him. I know I love him because I would walk on pins and Legos for him. I know that he's a man I can see sitting on the back porch, watching our adopted children play in the summer sun in the backyard."

I listen intently.

"I know every time he holds me, I never want to let go. I know that every time we kiss it feels like the first time."

He seems lost in his own world at this point.

"I love him so much it hurts. My heart aches without him — but it aches with him because I just can't express to him how much I love him. At the end of the day, I know he's sitting there, thinking about me, worrying about me."

He sighs, and stands up, reaching for the chart at the end of his bed. "I'm surprised you didn't do this sooner. I have some respect for you." He passed me his chart and I began to skim through it. The things that Kiet said had stood out to me.

"Bulimia nervosa," I cracked a half-assed smile. It reminded me of the time Lovino had a mental breakdown. However, he had to combat a lot more than just bulimia.

"I know I could stop. It would mean so much to Kiet. It would prove to him I'd do anything for him. I just haven't been able to overcome it yet. It's so natural for me now…"

I was about to say something when the door cracked opened. There stood Ruby Walters, one of my friends. She had auburn hair and big, gray-green eyes. "Isais!" she smiled and walked in, hugging me. "You're looking better!" We chatted quietly, and I motioned towards Emil.

"This is Emil. Emil, this is Ruby, my friend."

"Pleased to meet you," Ruby walked over as Emil sat up, extending her hand.

"Pleasures mine." We talked, play cards, watched soap operas, and ate lunch together.

Today I felt like a normal teenager.


Three weeks since Kiet came to visit, life had toned down. I helped him eat, because he said he needed some support from someone who was actually physically there. He had gotten much better. I was able to sleep at night knowing he wouldn't have any late night binging sessions.

He knew I was a light sleeper anyway.

Emil's family dropped by and I met his brother, Lukas, and his boyfriend, Mikkel. I also met his mom, his baby brother, and his stepfather. His dad hardly stopped by.

"He and I don't talk," Emil commented one evening while shuffling cards. "He isn't very happy I'm gay and all," the Icelander sounded annoyed. "I hardly see your parents too. What gives?"

"Well, my mom and dad are workaholics. It's very rare I see them, even when I live at home."

"I'm sure I've seen that Ruby girl more than your actual parents." I can't fight the blush that is slowly rising. "You know, I think she likes you too." I shake my head. Ruby and I have been nothing more than friends. "Some advice: don't let her get away."

I was about to reply when the door opened. "Emil!" Kiet ran in, slamming the door. Emil stood up, and Kiet embraced him. Kiet pulled back and really examined Emil.

"What?"

"You've gained weight," the Thai – Emil had told me he was Thai – whispered. Emil looked taken aback, until Kiet practically tossed him in the air. "You've gained weight!"

Kiet acted like he was getting married or they had just adopted their first child. As endearing as it was, it was still amusing to watch him celebrate the little things in life. He was like a child: everything was a gift to him.

"Yes, I've been eating," Emil said, after being set down, and sitting down on the end of his bed. "Thanks to Isais."

The coupled looked at me like they had almost forgotten I was there in the room. Kiet smiled and adjusted his glasses. "Do you think… they'd discharge you?"

"I'll see tomorrow." Kiet sat down in a nearby chair and I yawned. I decided to go to bed early. I listened as the two talked quietly, and finally, there was light humming of a melody Lovino would play on the piano for me before I went to bed.

Images flashed through my mind: my family, friends, Emil and Kiet embracing, Ruby, Lovino at the piano, the doctors and nurses, my medical chart and Emil's medical chart…

It was the most peaceful night I ever had in the hospital.


I awoke to the bed next to mine empty. I sat straight up and looked at the nurse. "Where did he go?" I demanded. She chuckled and placed new, fresh sheets on the bed.

"Emil Steilsson was discharged this early morning," she replied, amused at how shocked I looked. "His boyfriend took him home. He still will have regular check-ups and see various specialists and support groups, but he was deemed well enough to go home."

I nodded. The nurse left without another word. I stole another glance at the bed next to mine.

I had a feeling we'd meet again.


I was reading the paper Sunday. They legalized gay and lesbian marriages last Friday. I was happy that Feliciano and Ludwig could now be legally married. Lovino was hesitant, but I know it will happen… of course, right after he and Antonio get done traveling the world.

As I looked through the Celebrations sections, I saw a couple that drew attention to my mind.

It was Emil and Kiet.

Congratulations to Emil Steilsson and Kiettisuk Sripuy on their recent engagement! Emil, 20, is a child care and development major at Rainville University. Kiettisuk, 24, is currently going through his fifth year of medical school. They plan to be married next fall. The couple would like to extend thanks to family and friends. A Special thank you is extended to Isais Vargas, who was there to support them in their darkest times.

I couldn't help but smile.

I set the newspaper down and leaned back into my pillows. Ruby stopped by later that day. All I could think about was what Emil said about being in love with Kiet. All I could think about was what his advice to me was.

"Don't let her get away."

That night, before she left, I told her I was in love with her.

She kissed me and cried, saying she was so afraid she wouldn't hear those words.


It is now August. Today I am getting discharged from the hospital. My family is there at the entrance waiting for me. My friends are with them. I can't help but smile as they all talk to me at once. We go out for dinner and I go home.

"Hey," Feliciano calls to me and I look up at him. "This came about two weeks ago for you. It's from your old roommate, Emil!"

I take the card and scan over it like I had once done with Emil's medical charts.

Save the date! October 1st, Kiet and Emil are getting married!

The rest was where things were. The invitation was extended to my brothers as well. I ask Feliciano, but he declines. He and Ludwig are going out for their anniversary that day. Lovino and Antonio are leaving for Brazil two days before the wedding.

I call Emil the next morning and tell him I would be there. He sounds like he could cry pretty much.


Ruby and I arrive at the church ten minutes before it starts. We sit in the back on two wooden chairs. I haven't been feeling well, and they're closer to the bathroom if I need to vomit or anything. Ruby looks stunning in her green, halter top dress. I opt for a simple white dress shirt, black pants, and a tie to match my date's dress.

The ceremony is beautiful. Emil is blushing like a school girl. Kiet's natural smile is like a ray of motherfucking sunshine. The piano is playing lightly to dull any silences.

Then, the song plays. The song that Kiet had hummed that last night Emil was my roommate. The song Lovino plays every night since I've been home. I inhale sharply as they say their vows over the music. "Are you alright?" Ruby squeezes my hand.

"Promise me," I begin. "That our wedding will be as beautiful as this wedding. I want Lovino playing this song as we promise our lives to each other." I was almost crying, and Ruby pulls a Kleenex from her purse. I took it.

We leave first to get a table at the reception.


A few dances later, I'm sitting down. Ruby made some friends and she's now talking to them. I take my medicine and sigh loudly. "How are you?" a voice next to me asks loudly. I jump and turn, seeing it is only one of the grooms.

"Hi, Kiet," I reply. "I'm good. Beautiful wedding," I comment and he smiles, his gaze on his husband as he dances with one of his female cousins. "Haven't seen Emil really smile before."

"Have I ever thanked you?"

I blink in confusion. "Well, in the announcement in the newspaper."

"I'll take that as a no." He grabs my hand – tightly – and he shakes it. "Thanks so much for being so patient with Emi. I know he was kind of a dick at first, but I'm so glad you helped him. I'm so glad."

"I helped him because he wanted to do something for you," I admit. "He says that getting over… that… was something he could do to prove he loved you."

Kiet's small smirk held signs of amusement. "I don't think I ever doubted his love for a second."

The rest of the night was spent with dancing, talking, drinks, food, and stories of love. Ruby and I left after helping clean up. "I love you," I tell her as we walk to my car.

"I love you too," she smiles.

I don't doubt that for a second.


Rainville Obituaries

Isais Vargas died Thursday, October 3rd, at Hetalia Hospital, due to complications from a lifelong illness. He was twenty-two years old.

Isais was studying at Rainville University. He majored in psychology. Isais and girlfriend of five years, Ruby Walters, were planning a springtime wedding next year.

Isais is predeceased in death by his grandfather, Roma Vargas, his father, Lorenzo Vargas, and four great-grandparents.

Isais is survived by his mother, Chiara Vargas, two brothers, Lovino Vargas and Feliciano Vargas-Beilschmidt, his girlfriend, Ruby Walters, and grandmother, Alicia Vargas.

Visitation will be held from five in the evening to nine at night on Saturday, October 5th. Mass will be held at ten in the morning on Sunday, October 6th, followed by a burial at Rainville cemetery. Brunch will be served after in the church basement. Families ask the memorials be sent to Hetalia Hospital.


Emil cracked a small smile, running his tongue over his chapped lips. He passed the article to Kiet, who sat in silence next to him of their loveseat. "I can't believe he's dead." Kiet nodded, watching Emil check the baby monitor for any sounds.

It was silent. The only sound that was made was the sound of newspaper crumpling up. "We are going to the services, right?" Kiet asked.

Emil looked almost offended. "I would hope we are."

The two woke up their sleeping daughter from her nap and quickly ran over to the flower shop, sending flowers to the family with two cards – one to them and one to Isais.


The visitation was packed. They started with a rosary. Kiet had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He wasn't Catholic. He really didn't believe in any kind of god, really. He took little Rakel outside and just waited. After the rosary, everyone talked with the family.

Following that was a service where anyone could get up and speak about Isais. Emil bounced little Rakel in his lap and the Thai baby let out happy mews. Emil grew fidgety and Kiet took the child from her. "You can say something."

He loved how they had their own special language.

Standing up after Ruby finished his speech, Emil cleared his throat. "Uhm… hi. I really don't know any of you, but I did know Isais. I met Isais about five or six years ago at Hetalia Hospital. I was being hospitalize because… my bulimia messed up my pancreas. He was hospitalized because of his illness. I guess you can say we loathed each other. He was just 'the guy with the bed next to mine.'

"One morning, Kiet entered the room before visiting hours. Kiet is my husband. It wasn't an eventful visit, and after he left, we just kind of started… talking. We talked about our brothers, games, life… death. His girlfriend came to visit us and I teased him. This was long before they started dating.

"He helped me overcome my problems. I was so thankful. Kiet was so thankful. I guess you can say we really were happy to be blessed with Isais. I wish I got to see him more often before he died. He was at our wedding. We was at the welcome home party we had for Rakel, our adoptive daughter from Thailand. He was always there.

"I wish I had been there to help him like he had helped us. I wish I could've been there this spring when he married Ruby. I wish I could've been there for his first child's birthday. I wish that I could've done more. I wish there was more done. I can't say I'm mad at the doctors- they did what they can.

"I guess saying good by is never easy. It's going to be hard looking back on those times we had in Hetalia Hospital and thinking that now, that bed next to mine is empty. I can only imagine what he felt – waking up to no roommate. Now, I'm feeling the same thing… the only difference is… I know…" Emil choked. "I know I won't see him after that."

Sitting down, Emil wiped his eyes with his sleeves. Ruby turned around, handing him a Kleenex and he took it, dabbing his eyes.

The last five minutes was a silent memorial in the dark. Lovino played his favorite song on the piano, and Emil closed his eyes, thinking of the times they shared. His days with Kiet, Isais, Rakel, his family…


The next day, they put the casket in the ground. Emil stood by, hands in coat pocket, eyes glancing at the giant dirt pile besides the grave.

'It sucks to know I'm going to wake up every day,' Emil began to think as Lovino poured his heart and soul into the song. 'And know that the bed next to mine is going to be empty.'


I do not own Hetalia.
Holy angst. I started this at five this afternoon… and I'm posting it now? Holy balls.
Isais Vargas is Seborga. Emil Steilsson is Iceland. Kiettisuk "Kiet" Sripuy is Thailand. Lukas is Norway and Mikkel is Denmark. Roma is Rome. Ruby Walters is Wy. I think everyone else I used is pretty much obvious. I used a few OCs, but they're very minor.
I wanted to write something a bit darker. I apologize for any tense changes that are weird and random. I apologize for bad grammar. I apologize for the point-of-view changes and wacked up time frames. I apologize for anything that may offend. Bleh.
I really liked this idea. I typed this all night listening to my Yiruma Pandora station. It was really inspirational. Church music came on during the visitation scene. I kind of laughed.
Erm… enjoy?