Author's note: As promised, this is the last chapter. This was written a while ago, so I would probably like to edit this at some point, but because I know you've all been waiting so long, here it is, and hopefully an edit later! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with this :)!
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Nyota stood still in shock. She had just seen an entire planet disappear, and knew that billions of people had suddenly ceased to exist. Their lives had been wiped out by a single ship and a single matter. Their homes were destroyed, their land gone, their planet wiped out. It was as though they had never been there. But, everyone knew that they had.
There were survivors, approximately 10 000. The Council Elders had been rescued by Spock, which had preserved the essence of their culture, but the people themselves were gone. Their stories, their lives, their memories, gone. She knew that as awful as it had been for the devastation to occur, it would leave longer-lasting, and more painful effects for the living survivors.
Her heart ached painfully. She had been in turmoil since she had sat in the Academy meeting chamber to attend the hearing of Kirk cheating during the Kobayashi Maru test, and the news that Vulcan was in distress. She had been assigned to the Farragut, and had been furious. She knew that Spock and she had become close over their working relationship and were now indeed friends, but nothing more, no matter how much she hoped. She protested furiously to Spock regarding her assignment, quoting his own words back to him, and he had assigned her to the Enterprise. If she had not protested her assignment, she would have died approximately one standard hour ago.
She was also on the verge of dying when Spock had beamed to the surface of Vulcan, intent on rescuing his family and the Vulcan Elders. Seeing him leave had been one of the hardest things she had had to do, and it was then that she had realized that her feelings for Spock were not just of friendship.
If she honest to herself, she knew that she had always had a small affection for the Commander. He was strong, gentle, kind, patient, intelligent, and a million other things that she could not possibly put into words. Their relationship had started with that of a teacher-student, and he had been the best possible teacher she could have ever hoped to have had. He had widely exceeded her expectations, and although she knew him to be one of the most difficult teachers at the Academy, he had been the best.
Then, she had become his teaching assistant. Their late nights of grading assignments and discussing her Senior Thesis had blossomed into mealtimes at his apartment where they would continue their discussions and actually discuss the merit of their individual ideas. She was thrilled that they were actually able to discuss these topics in-depth, rather than the fleeting conversations she had indulged with in her peers. Although her peers were as intelligent as her, they were in different topics, and she could not deny that linguistics had always been her passion, not ships and computers as her other friends were.
She grew more attached to those dinners and conversations than she would admit to anyone, and it gave her a secret thrill inside each and every time those dinners occurred, and every time she thought about them. She knew that she was the closest human companion aside from Captain Pike that Spock had on earth, and that gave her thrills when she thought about how much she relied on Spock, and hoped that he relied on her even to some of that extent. She knew that when she was in trouble, or needed help (which wasn't often), that he was always someone she could count on. Similarly, when Spock had trouble understanding certain human idioms or expressions, he knew that he could count on her.
The feelings only grew each time he had helped her out of sticky situations, especially those of Jim Kirk's doing. Especially two nights ago when he had been in the medical bay due to her unfortunately giving him a concussion, and they had finally agreed to dropping formalities and addressing each other by their actual names. She had discovered more about him that night than ever before, and she presumed that it was because of the concussion that he was not quite in control of his emotions.
She had heard about some of his childhood on Vulcan, and he had divulged some of his more painful memories of that childhood to her unintentionally. He told her about being accepted to the Science Academy, and turning it down. Her admiration for him grew that night exponentially, and she knew that no man or alien she would ever meet would ever measure up to her expectations of him.
And now, she glimpsed the devastation in his eyes as he held out his hand in a last call to the Mother he had loved dearly and had been trying to save. The pain and fury in his eyes at being one second earlier would have prevented his Mother from dying. The agony at seeing a woman he had loved dearly being ripped from him, and unable to do anything. The rage at seeing his planet destroyed and sucked into itself until not even a shred remained, and unable to stop it.
The despair in his voice that only she had been able to identify when he recorded his Captain's Log, detailing the destruction of his home-world, and his pain at being a member of an endangered species.
As he finished the recording, her eyes were welling with tears. She knew that he could not allow himself to break down in front of his crew, and that he would not show emotion to them, no matter the pain that he endured himself. So she would do it for him. The events of the last few hours showed her that she had nothing to lose. She should have died, but she didn't. So, she would live, for him.
He turned around after he finished the recording and walked carefully to the elevator. She followed him in without saying anything and waited until it started it'sits motion. When she knew it to be between two floors she hit the emergency stop. Their relationship was too precious to her to be left as it was, and she was too aware of this man, and her love for him, to stop her from pretending anymore that it was just friendship. It was more, so much more.
She turned to him, looking him deeply in the eyes, trying to convey the agony she felt to him. She raised her hands, lifting them to his face, trying to communicate her hurt. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She whispered against his cheek. She kissed the side of his face, trying to take away some of his hurt. She pressed feather-light kisses along his jaw-line, trying to soothe his hurt and take it upon herself. He leaned slightly into her and she moved her hands down to his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.
He hesitated slowly at first, and after a few seconds, he allowed himself to be pulled closer to her.
She pulled her face slightly away from his chest, and pressed a kiss close to his ear. "What do you need?" She whispered. She looked up at his face, trying to gage his expression. She was the only one who caught the subtle nuances of his expressions and knew even remotely what he was feeling. She gently placed her hands back on his face, and leaned her forehead against his, trying to exude some form of comfort. "Tell me. Tell me." She whispered softly.
Spock shuddered. There was an animal inside his chest fighting to emerge. Fighting to rip apart the bastard that had taken his Mother from him, and destroyed his home. The bastard that had almost killed Nyota. He was in agony, if he had not changed her assignment to the Enterprise, she would now be dead.
He decided the moment that he had seen the Farragut explode into flames that he no longer cared about preserving the gentle relationship he had with Nyota. He wanted it all, and he had calculated that there was a high probability that she wanted it too.
He had found himself drawn to her as a student, drawn to her brilliant mind, and her never-ending enthusiasm for answers. He had willingly responded to her dedication, and taught her everything he was capable of.
When she had become his teaching assistant, he knew that he had made a wise choice. She had a brilliant mind, and more than that, he had come to rely on her heavily. Just as he was able to aid her in academic studies and choices, she had been able to greatly aid him with understanding human idioms and practices.
Their late-night grading sessions had slowly graduated to meals at his apartment where he enjoyed some of the most intellectually stimulating conversations that he had ever had, even with other colleagues and Vulcans. He had been careful of their friendship however, knowing that her companionship was too valuable to lose.
The night that they had spent in the medical bay had been one of the most enjoyable in his memory. He knew that he had divulged too much due to his inability to control his emotions because of his concussion, but the next morning he was thankful, because he was taught not to express his emotions. Vulcans did not show their emotions as a rule, and he was thankful that he had least been able to do it once.
However, with the death of his Mother, his inability to save her, the destruction of his home-planet, and almost losing Nyota, he had shunned his need for safety and safe-guarding their friendship. His emotions were raw, and he knew that he could not express them to anyone else because the animal that was roaring in his chest was threatening to escape and he knew that he would be unable to control it when he did.
But, he knew that he could give those emotions to Nyota, to safeguard for him. When she had followed him into the elevator, pressed the emergency stop, and began touching him, it was all he could do not to respond. He soon found himself unable too however, a combination of his emotions and his devastation at the thought of losing another person dear to him. Not just another person dear to him, he corrected himself, someone he loved.
He knew that he loved Nyota. She was intelligent, smart, funny in her human way, beautiful, stubborn, and many other things he could not adequately express, but would do his best to try.
He had given in to some of his emotions, and allowed himself to be pulled into her hug. He gazed into her beautiful brown eyes, full of tears, reflecting the emotions that he could not allow himself to express. If he gave into his emotions, they would flood his senses, and he would be reduced to a basic creature, intent on the destruction of the bastard that just destroyed his home-planet, and he could not allow that to happen. He needed to retain some sense of his faculties in order to rescue Captain Pike and arrive at the rendezvous as well as possible under the circumstances.
He allowed himself a moment of comfort, held in the protective circle of Nyota's arms, and felt her strength. He breathed in her lightly floral scent, trying to compose himself. He whispered next to her ear, trying to gain back his measure of control with every word. "I need everyone to continue performing admirably." He slowly got out, gaining more control with each word. Knowing that he couldn't turn back, he depressed the emergency elevator button to continue its journey.
She hugged him one last time, pressing one final kiss next to his ear, and leaned back with her hands on his face, looking into his eyes. "Okay." She whispered, knowing how close he had been to losing control, and needing to provide that strength for him to continue.
Nyota could have gladly pummeled Kirk to within an inch of his life after what he said to Spock regarding his Mother. She had found herself unconsciously drifting closer to both Spock and Kirk, hearing what Kirk was saying, and yet unwilling to believe her ears.
She had been about to punch him herself, when Spock had suddenly snapped and poured all his anger, fury, and emotion into attacking Kirk. His hands were clasped around Kirk's throat and she was desperately willing for him to stop, knowing the agony that he was feeling, and the agony that he would undoubtedly feel if he continued. She walked slowly over to where Spock was, about to lay a hand on his shoulder to make him return to his senses when his Father entered the bridge.
"Spock!"
He startled Spock out of his reverie, and his hands dropped away from Kirk's throat. His mind flew over what had just happened, and he knew that he could not allow it to happen again. "I resign my position as Captain, I am emotionally compromised." He walked out of the bridge before anyone could protest and walked to his chambers, trying to gain a scrap of control.
He soon heard footsteps approaching him, and he lifted his head, seeing his Father standing next to him.
"You once asked why I married your mother, Spock."
Spock tried to hide his astonishment. Vulcans never talked about emotions.
"I married her because I loved her." The elder Vulcan smiled wistfully. "I allowed human emotion to rule a part of myself, and I have never regretted it, nor her, nor you. My deepest regret is that I wasn't able to show her that every day, and I do not wish for you to follow that path. Emotions do not compromise a person. They allow them to see things more clearly."
Nyota stood next to Kirk, hands clenched into fists, angry tears in her eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing," she hissed at Kirk.
"Me too," he sighed, looking seriously in her eyes.
She stormed away, knowing that one second more and she would be mimicking the same actions that Spock had just been engaged in.
She found herself drawn into the discussion regarding warping onto Nero's ship while in motion.
"It is possible to do it, Captain!" Chekov said earnestly.
Nyota shook her head, these kinds of calculations had never before been attempted, and one wrong number, and the Captain could be transported into a black hole.
"Doctor, Mr. Chekov is correct," came a dry voice behind her.
Nyota spun around, and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Spock. She knew how hurt he had been at Kirk's insinuations and as much as she had wished to follow him, she had seen his Father following him, and knew that her presence would have been unnecessary.
"I will transport onto the ship, and attempt to steal back the dark matter." He stated matter-of-fact, while Nyota's heart broke a bit more, knowing of the danger he was willing to put himself in, in order to save others.
Kirk took a deep breath. "I'm coming with you."
Spock cocked his head slightly. "I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it."
Kirk laughed shortly, "See? We are getting to know each other." He slapped Spock on the shoulder and walked out.
Nyota walked over to Spock, and lay a hand on his arm. "I'm glad to have you back," she whispered.
He caught her hand gently, and smiled in response. "My presence is needed in the transport room. Will you walk with me?"
Nyota smiled. They walked of the bridge together, and as soon as they were out of sight, he reached down and caught her hand. They walked to the transport room like such and Nyota treasured each second, knowing that they could be the last few they shared between them. They walked to the transport pads, and unable to resist anymore, she leaned close to him, holding his face in her hands and poured all her emotions into one kiss.
His hand curled around her waist, pulling her closer, uncaring off the people watching, simply caring about this moment, and what could possibly be their last few moments.
They mutually broke apart a short time later, and gasping, lay their foreheads against each other, hands still clasped, and fingers intertwined.
"I will be back." Spock said softly.
Nyota leaned closer to him, holding onto each last moment. "You better be. I'll be monitoring your frequency."
Spock smiled gently at her. "Thank you, Nyota."
She gave him one last lingering kiss, and turned to leave, giving Spock one last lingering look, and then left quietly.
"So her first name's Nyota?" Kirk asked, in an attempt to ease some of the tension.
"I have no comment on the matter." Spock quickly responded.
When Spock was able to beam back aboard the Enterprise after destroying the black matter, he was caught in a pair of arms, which he willingly collapsed into for a second. He looked up and saw Nyota's dark brown eyes looking down at him. "Our presence is needed on the bridge," he said urgently. He stood up and grabbing her hand, ran with her to the bridge.
The transmission was open, showing him the bastard that had destroyed his home-planet and killed his Mother. Thankfully Kirk was already on the bridge, and offered peace-terms to the Romulan. Spock was outraged.
"Captain, what are you doing?" He asked softly, trying to suppress his anger.
Kirk frowned. "Showing them compassion. It may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock, I thought you'd like that."
Spock smiled without humor. "No, not really. Not this time."
Thankfully, Nero refused to accept the peace-terms and the order to fire was given. Spock and the rest of the Enterprise crew watched as his ship caught flame and became a fireball in the darkness of space.
Spock felt a heaviness on his chest that he hadn't noticed before slightly lessened. Amidst the celebrations, Nyota found her way over to him. She nuzzled into his side, placing her hands on his face, allowing him to drop his forehead on hers.
"Are you alright?" She asked softly, knowing the answer, but needing to ask.
"I will be." He nodded sharply. "Nyota, I realize that in the midst of these tumultuous events, we may both have experienced feelings that we may have not normally, and I will not harbor any grudge against you if you realize that some actions may have been errors."
Nyota laughed softly. "You're not getting rid of me that easy, Spock." She tilted her head up, and grazed her lips across his. "You're mine." She whispered softly.
"And you, are mine." He whispered in return, planting a feather-light kiss at the edge of her jaw-bone, and sliding to her mouth, proceeding to tell her in that kiss what he had longed to tell her for so long.
And there we go :)! Again, my apologies for the delay in this! I really would like to go back and re-edit this, but here you go for now so that it isn't too much longer!
