Chapter Three

The more things change, the more they stay the same ... yeah right. Walking next to Alt Angel and Alt Buffy, watching them watch her - there they are, I'm the other one of one of them and Spike, the other one of one of ... okay, abandoning that thought Buffy ... this shit is strange, does that cover it? Yeah I think that works, that sums this up. She sneaked a glance at Alt Buffy, trying to watch her when she wasn't watching back. She tried to study her - the way she walked, the way she was aware of the area around her, the way she brushed her hand against Angel and smiled a little every time she did it - she seemed like such a foreign creature to her. Which was beyond weird. That's not how you should feel when confronted by you from a few years ago, Buffy thought. Not that there's a handbook ... unless, well Bill Gates does like to branch out .. but no, there definitely can't be a handbook for this. But Buffy couldn't feel a connection to this younger girl - that sense that she was once her. I once lived in that brain. Hell I still do! It's like we're two different pairs of glasses with the same brain reading stuff through them, same eyes but the lense on hers is all wonky ... the absudity of this thought caused her to giggle a little, prompting a knowing glance from Spike. She caught his gaze and held it. He was walking on her left, Alt Buffy and Angel to her right and slighty ahead and it afforded her the chance of sinking into Spike's eyes for a moment, knowing that if anything could ground her in this situation, it would be him. He seemed to know she needed something, so he purposefully brushed her hand with his and she smiled a little. Well, maybe I haven't changed that much over the years, she thought. Hot vampire touches my hand = cool head for Buffy. Same eyes, different glasses.

She felt eyes on them and looked to her right, seeing Alt Buffy's hair snap back into place a little too quickly - she knew Alt Buffy had seen her and Spike's silent communication. Oh well, so much for keeping this as uncomplicated as possible.

"So" she said, attempting to break the uneasy silence that had dogged the group since departing the library. "What's the last Big Bad you smacked down .. eh .. Buffy?"

Alt Buffy turned to look at her, Angel too and they both slowed their pace to fall in line with Buffy and Spike, all of them heading towards Restfield where one day in the not too distant future she and Spike would make themselves a little love nest. Wonder what her glasses would make of that little revelation. "We just had ourselves another apocolypse actually. Big blue demon chicks, demons coming out of the library ..."

"Oh right, I remember that - god", Buffy said and laughed a little. This got Alt Buffy's attention and she turned to her a little sharply.

"What's funny about that?"

"Oh n-nothing, really. It's just, you know .. I remember it" Buffy said, laughing a little uncomfortably to cover the sudden iciness in her younger self's voice.

"It must be pretty weird for you, being back here" Angel mused quietly, gazing at her with that undiscernable expression on his face. Alt Buffy looked at him with the ghost of jealous wonder on her face and Buffy started to remember the absurdity of teenage girls and their feelings.

"That's quite the observation peaches. She's talking to herself, a version of her from 4 and a half years ago and you think she might find it weird. Wow, I'd forgotten just how deep your river flows mate" Spike deadpanned, rolling his eyes and pulling out his cigarettes, a sure sign he was starting to get antsy again.

Angel turned to glare at him in his silent, tired yet deadly way and Alt Buffy opened her mouth to bark at him. "I'm pretty sure no-one was talking to you, Spike". Buffy's Slayer side perked up a little at her tone.

"Why don't we all just chill, yeah?" she said, trying to break the tension. They'd halted their slow progress through the cemetary and Alt Buffy was starting to look like she was itching for a little game of Hit The Spike. "There's got to be some beasty that'll come along any minute now and you can kill it til it's dead, 'k Spikey?" Buffy said to him, silently pleading with him not to make this any more awkward than it already was. He accepted her plea with a bearly perceptible nod and she relaxed a little. "Okay then, let's just .. get on with the patrol".

Alt Buffy and Angel resumed their position ahead of her and Spike but they only got a few steps when Alt Buffy shook her head, clearing having lost a battle with her temper and turned suddenly, unable to hold back any longer.

"You know what? How about we don't! How about you stop with the cryptic and tell me what the hell I'm doing ... you're doing with Spike, acting like he's your ... your ..", she couldn't seem to finish that thought, ".. your whatever the hell he is to you. How about you fill me in on what possesses me .. you to trust this lying murdering scumbag and then threaten my .. your .. OUR friends on his behalf? What the hell happens to me in the future? Do I opt for the lobotomy or just get hit in the head one too many times!"

"Buffy maybe .."

"No Angel, you're thinking the exact same thing! What the hell is this! What happens to me in the future that makes me look at that creature as .. whatever the hell he is to you!", Angel looked over at the older slayer sadly at this last comment and Buffy felt her heckles start to rise. "I want an explanation and I think I deserve a hell of a good one! Last time I saw him he was kidnapping Xander and Willow and threatening to rip their faces off with a bottle! Do you remember that and laugh too?" she finished, glaring at Buffy with fire in her young eyes, Angel holding onto her arm. Buffy wasn't sure whether the hand on her arm was to hold her back or just to let her know he was on her side. "I don't recognise one single thing in you that could be me and I'd like to know if I should start trying to change my future now or if I have a few years left before I lose my morals and taste!" she spat at her future self.

The silence following her outburst was deafening. Angel looked unsure and apprehensive and Alt Buffy looked livid, eyes blazing. Buffy was pretty sure she could meet her on the livid. Her hand was shaking with anger at her side and she was fighting the urge to form a fist and take care of business the classic way. Looking for perspective, she looked toward Spike but he was staring lost at her back, unable to meet any of the eyes so focused on him at that moment. She saw him - who he was, who he'd been, everything he'd always been to the world and to her and she started to feel that Summers fire he was always going on about, that she herself had just been subjected to courtesy of her younger self. She turned to face her then and very slowly, very quietly addressed her with steal in her voice.

"Okay, this is how this is gonna work - are you listening to me? I remember being you. I remember it clear as day. I remember thinking I knew it all, had it all figured out - black hats, white hats, no grey anywhere in sight. But something happened to me - I grew up. Right now you're the slayer, the chosen one, no-one can take you down and you know it and that makes you the big boss man. But guess what? That girl is also me. A me that is stronger and faster than you. A me that understands a hell of a lot more about the ways of evil than you. So you don't ask me questions I've already told you I won't answer, you don't cast aspersions on me and mine, you don't insult the people I trust most in the world and you don't ever, ever question my loyalty to my people. I know everything there is to know about you. You don't know shit about me girly" she finished, trying to keep her calm, trying to remember that the little squirt in front of her was her - a her that was so unaware of just how much life had changed. Perspective Buffy, perspective, she thought, trying to breathe out the anger. Alt Buffy was still looking at her with those livid eyes, taking in what Buffy had said but not backing down one iota. She looks like she's struggling with the same decision as me - fight or perspective.

"Slayer, maybe we should .." Spike touched Buffy's arm, quietly trying to break the tension, " ... leave them to figure things out", he finished. He got a surprising back up from Angel.

"He's right Buffy", he said to his Buffy. "We should head back to the library, see what the others have come up with", he tried and she reluctantly dragged her eyes from her future self and Spike, looking to Angel.

"Come on, they can take patrol", he whispered to her and Buffy could see the effect it was having on her. She's backed down almost completely now, willing to be taken away from our little showdown.

"You know what, fine ... enjoy yourselves", she shot at us with more than a hint of disgust in her voice. Buffy bit back any reply she would otherwise have made - be the mature version, she thought.

Alt Buffy and Angel turned to leave. He turned back and offered, "Come back to the library when things have .. settled", and he eyed Buffy warily but apologetic too. This wasn't lost on Spike. Once out of earshot he turned to Buffy and sneered his best.

"God, what on earth did you see in that wanker? I will never understand it. You'd have had more fun hitting yourself over the head with a bit of plywood for a year. And you'd have had more of a banging than that poof could ever offer you!"

"Spike!" she half laughed, half cajoled him, "that's disgusting". She was relieved to be free of the tension she'd bottled up during the confrontation with her younger self. She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair, mentally worn out from the turns of events that had happened upon them.

"God luv, if I'd known you were so hot fighting with yourself I'd have bought you a mirror for your birthday" he whispered, smiling suggestively at her and she laughed tiredly. He saw it in her face - this is draining me a little - and he dropped all pretense, lightly touching her jawline, drawing her eyes deep into his.

"Don't worry luv, Red'll fix this. I bet right now the bit, Cyclops, demon girl and Red are flitting about like Mexican jumping beans trying to find a way to get you back", he smiled reassuringly, stroking her chin with the tip of his finger.

She reached up and grabbed it, holding it close to her throat. "Us Spike - they'll be finding a way to get us back".

"Yeah, us" he said, as they smiled softly at each other.


AN: And the editing is done. I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow I'm thinking. I hope the change of narrative won't bug anyone too much but if it does or you think it's a bad move, review and let me know :)

Once again, thanks so much for all the reviews so far. So exciting that there's people other than me who are into this story. I hope I don't let you all down lol.