Chapter Four
"I don't care what's behind it Giles, I want her out of here as fast as possible!", the young slayer barked at her watcher. "You don't know what it's like! Looking at her with him, seeing how much she trusts him ... god, I was worried about my future because of slayerness and now I've got the happy prospect of turning into a Spike fangirl to look forward to!"
Buffy was pacing around the library, radiating rage and had been since the moment she and Angel had walked back through the door, fresh from their unsuccessful bonding party with future Buffy and Spike. Angel was quietly sitting in the corner, an unreadable expression on his face, and the others were at the table, Giles' book collection spread out before them on the table, covering every inch of the table.
"I mean, the way she was touching him, looking at him" she continued in disgust, "it was like he was her ... god, I can't even think it!"
"I know this must be really hard Buffy but we're doing everything we can" Willow said, attempting to placate her. "So far we've found a few spells that can send someone back to a specific place and time but we haven't found anything that can reverse them ... yet", she added quickly, off young Buffy's fuming look.
"That's not entirely true" Giles started quietly. Buffy turned to look at him in hope and he continued, "there are spells that can send someone through time and space and then bring them back to their starting point .."
"Well that's it then!" Buffy started triumphantly, only to be cut off by Giles.
"... but they are performed as a whole spell. That's the real problem I'm afraid" Giles paused to remove his glasses, sighing as he did so. "From what I can gather, the spell that has brought Buffy and Spike here is the only one that can send them back because the two halves - the bringing them back in time and the sending them back to the future - are part of the same spell. We can't send them back with a new spell because they're already under one. And in the unlikely event it did work, any spell we used would also adhere to the same rules - we could only send them somewhere and then call them back here".
"So it's like a package holiday? You can't fly out with one travel agent and return with another?" Xander offered hopefully.
Giles cast his tired eyes in the boy's direction with his usual glare of disapproval and was about to mini-lecture him when he caught sight of Buffy's pained expression. He sighed instead and simply said, "yes Xander, that about sums it up".
"So .." Buffy started, "whatever spell that was cast to get them here has already booked a flight for them to go back?"
"From what we've been able to gather, yes" Giles said. "We'll keep researching it, of course, but I really need to hear more about what could be behind this turn of events. Perhaps we might be able to sort out when their .. return flight" he said glancing at Xander, who grinned at him, "is scheduled for" he finished distractedly, picking up another book to peruse. "Did they say when they were coming back?" he asked, not looking up.
Buffy cast her eyes down to the floor and risked an embarrassed glance at Angel before replying, "no, things were a little .. heated on patrol".
"Oooh did Buffy try to beat herself up?"
"Knock it off boy", Angel growled at Xander, not appreciating his joking tone.
"God, when did everyone lose their sense of humour around here", Xander mumbled in Willow's direction. She glanced at him and winced and he took the silent rebuke, returning to his allocated book, deciding to leave the arguments to the super-people.
"Buffy I understand this must be very strange and I assure you you are not alone in wondering at the .. situation with Spike and B-Buffy", he said blinking, "but nothing can be accomplished by losing your temper with your-yourself", he finished lamely, scrunching his face up before absentmindedly tapping his glasses off his chin. "Perhaps the Book of Mendel will be able to give us a better idea ..." he mumbled, climbing past Angel up to the stacks.
"Look, I get it, I shouldn't have wigged", she started, addressing no-one in particular, "but I just couldn't help it. You should have heard her" she complained, adopting a high pitched whiny voice, "I'm the slayer, I'm bigger than you, I think Spike's a dreamboat ... UGH!"
She glanced at Angel after her outburst and noticed his eyes were glassier than usual and something slammed into her stomach, something she couldn't believe hadn't occurred to her before - what did this mean for them? Why wasn't it Angel standing next to her future self, showing concern and being on the receiving end of Slayer protection? Were they no longer together? Or worse, she considered her stomach dropping, was he still in the world at all? There had always been doubt surrounding her future because of the low life expectancy Slayers tended to have but when it came to Angel she'd always been pretty doubt free, even after the last year of hell they'd been through together ... or maybe even because of it. She'd be with him forever .. or so she'd always believed. And now here was her future pitching up in the library saying actually not so much, you're going to start craving some blondes pretty hardcore. He lifted his eyes to her and she could see it there - he was thinking the same things as her at that moment, maybe had been since the moment they realised it was her from the future with Spike in tow, and she couldn't stop herself from closing the distance between them and lifting his hand into hers. She fixed him with a gaze that he returned with feeling and squeezed his hand, trying to silently let him know that she was with him, no matter what pod-Buffy might be doing out in that cemetary with the evil undead.
"You know luv, there's only so many times we can do a sweep of the gravestones before you realise we have to go back to the library and play nice."
"Since when were you an advocate of reality?" she smiled at him coyly.
"Ever since Andrew made me roleplay D&D with him", he sheepishly answered. "I realised I preferred reality 'cause the real world has never been that scary".
She burst into laughter at that, stopping to lean over a nearby headstone and banging her stake against it as she shook from her attack of mirth. He watched her loosen up with a smile on his face, eyes glittering as they always did when faced with a happy Buffy. Sighing, he took out his cigarettes and lit one, contemplating their current situation. Here they were - sucked back in time to a point in their lives where they were diametrically opposed beings, confronted with a version of Buffy that was saying all the nasty little things that had threatened to ruin their relationship since it had started - all the things the Buffy in front of him had always said until last year actually - and had it been only a few short months before he guessed they would have had some major problems as a result of that. In fact he knew it. But now ... they had surpassed all doubts. He still couldn't quite believe it when it crossed his mind. The thought that Buffy didn't love him wholeheartedly was ridiculous to him now. Not out of pride or the arrogance of immortality that he'd carried around for so many years. This was a strength that radiated from her to him and him to her. It was a truth, an absolute, something that wasn't even up for discussion. She was in love with him and he was in love with her. And the power that afforded the two of them was an endless well, he thought. No matter how low, no matter how hopeless things got, at the end of that rope they could reach into that well and renew themselves. It's what got them through the mutiny. It's what got them through the war with The First. And it's what was going to get them through this, he knew it.
This all went through his head in a matter of seconds and he glanced back up to see Buffy straightening herself up, laughter dying down but not leaving her eyes as she met his gaze warmly.
"You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you liked Andrew", she smiled knowingly at him. "You'd never play D&D with Xander" she finished, giggling.
"Depends how nicely he asked me Slayer" he returned, taking a draw of his cigarette.
"Who knew manners were the way to the Big Bad's heart" she mused, realising only after she said it that they were straying dangerously close to a discussion they had both silently decided was off limits.
He seemed to realise what she was thinking as he caught her eye and saved her the trouble of a rewind by saying, "Nice try Slayer. Stop changin' the subject. We have to go back to the library, there's no other way to sort this nonsense out", he levelled at her.
She sighed at him, all mirth leaving her face and tiredness making a return. "I know, it's just .. I hate the way they ..." she couldn't finish, looking at him with sorrow.
"I know luv", he quietly supplied, "they don't get it. But really, can you blame them? That is you Buffy, not some version of you from another dimension - that is you from a few years ago" he reasoned. "I know how life's changed, you know how life's changed but they're flying blind luv".
She looked at him with her custom pout and he felt that tug in the pit of his stomach again, hearing the ghost of a memory ...
Look at that lip, gonna get it, gonna get it ...
He brushed it aside in his mind, more important stuff to deal with Spike. "Imagine if some 70 year old Buffy had appeared in the living room earlier with you, me and Dawn and said you were destined to marry Ellen Degeneres. Wouldn't you be a little taken aback?" he smiled and was rewarded with another guffaw of laughter from his soulmate.
"Okay, I take your point .. although to be clear if I'm going girl, it's Angelina all the way" she smirked at him. She met his eyes again, holding his gaze. "I get it, it's difficult for her .. me. It's just .. what I said to her was true Spike. I remember being her. I remember how she thought about vampires, how she thought about you and reconciling that with how we are .. I mean, what we .." she stuttered, her gaze faltering, ".. it's just there's nothing I can say to her to make her understand and it's like ... being mad at yourself" she continued with resolve, "is the most justified form of anger as far as I can tell. I know where she's coming from. She has no idea where I'm coming from, you know?"
"I know luv. But that doesn't mean we don't have to work with her", he replied pointedly.
She sighed and crossed her arms, conceding the point. "Okay" she started, "we'll head back and I'll try to reign it in, okay? I promise".
He smiled at her then, both of them holding it long enough to get their fill, that renewed sense of energy ... and then turned to head towards the high school.
"Although I thought I already reigned it in pretty good".
"Not disagreeing luv, I thought we were in for a slayer-pile with me at the bottom - and not in the good way" he laughed, her laughter joining his in the quiet of the cemetary.
By the time they re-entered the library things had cooled down considerably, Buffy thought. Alt Buffy was sitting on the steps on the right with Angel, both looking through research materials. She glanced up at them as they walked in and when their eyes met she could see that Alt Buffy had experienced the same cooling of her anger - best to just skate over the awkward, she thought.
Giles came out of his office as they reached the desk at which Xander and Willow were buried under it seemed every book in the library. Xander looked like he'd been up for three days straight and Buffy suppressed a laugh at his usual 'research face'. This not being strictly her Xander, she figured he wouldn't appreciate the ribbing, however gentle it was.
"Ah Buffy .. eh Spike, we've been waiting for you", Giles started.
Buffy's eyes lit up a little with hope, "So you've found something?"
"Eh no, not exactly" he replied apologetically. "Well we have found numerous spells that could have been used to send you here but none that would aid us in returning you to your time, I'm afraid".
Buffy glanced at her other self then and saw the same look of unhappiness on her face. Guess I'm not the only one that wants us gone quickstyle.
"I was waiting for you to return to hopefully get some more information about your situation immediately before ..." he trailed off, staring open-mouthed at something behind her head then and she whipped around, followed closely by Spike.
At first she couldn't tell what it was. It was a shimmering, a floating ripple in mid-air and she randomly thought of the water she drowned in, swishing from side to side. It was a floating shimmer, something without depth .. but it started to fill, to grow from nothing and a shape, an outline appeared and filled in with colour and substance, though still more smoke than anything else ... and then the outline became something so familiar, safe and consoling that she could have burst into grateful tears.
"Red!" Spike burst out, "bloody took you long enough!"
"Guys, oh thank god!" Willow said, "you have no idea how long it took me to find you."
AN: Hope you all enjoy it and again, thank you so much for all the reviews so far. I really appreciate it guys :) Don't be afraid to criticize or make suggestions, I'm open to anything.
