This is probably the longest chapter I've written so far but hopefully that's a good thing right? And some of you have written really nice reviews and they really make my day and inspire me to keep writing this, so thanks! Keep doing it :)
I don't own Victorious.
[Those times when parents just don't understand.]
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They all sat together in the hospital waiting room. Beck, Tori, Robbie and Andre sat side by side, slouched in their seats waiting for any news about how Cat was doing and whether or not she was going to wake up.
Mr. Valentine, still dressed in his work clothes having come straight from the office, came in along with Michael and sat down next to Beck. It was obvious that Michael was in one of his moods. He had to practically be dragged into the room and when they got there he refused to sit in a chair. He crossed his arms and plopped right down on the floor and then proceeded to roll around, spinning clockwise on his back. "I'm hungry, I wanna candy bar," he whined.
"For godssake Michael, get up right now," Mr. Valentine hissed.
It was getting late and after everything that happened that day, Beck was feeling extremely tired to the point where he was starting to get a headache so he was a bit on edge. In his mind the only thing he could see was Cat and everything else that happened being replayed over and over. He kept reliving that moment when he saw the pills and realized what she'd done. And the fear that came with it. He was so scared, and he still was now.
Michael started humming loudly and kicking at the floor, his shoes making loud squeaking noises against the linoleum. His father scolded him and begged him to behave himself.
"Why don't you try ignoring him," Beck said.
Mr. Valentine turned to him, "Excuse me?"
Beck's headache was really starting to wear him down so he wasn't thinking clearly. He just kept talking. "If he throws a tantrum and you give him what he wants...which is attention, then he's just gonna keep doing it. It's called negative reinforcement."
Beside him Tori's eyes went wide and she jabbed him in the arm with her elbow.
"And who the hell are you?" he replied, probably annoyed by some kid trying to tell him how to parent.
Mrs. Valentine appeared from the hallway and put her hand on her husband's shoulder, easing the tension. "Darling, that's Beck. You remember don't you? These are all Cat's friends," she said gesturing to the rest of the group.
And Mr. Valentine turned to look at them as if he just realized they were all sitting there. "Right, of course. Thank you all for coming."
"No problem," Andre said.
And Tori said, "Anything for Cat."
"Well I'm assuming my husband hasn't told you the good news. The doctors say that we got her here just in time and physically...she's going to be alright."
They all collectively sighed in relief.
"Is she awake?" Beck asked.
"I'm afraid not. And Dr. Warren says it could be awhile before she wakes up so, it's alright if you all want to go on home. When she does wake up I'll be sure to let her know you guys were here."
They exchanged glances. "We don't mind staying," Beck said.
"That's sweet but it's not necessary. It's a school night and I wouldn't want to keep you."
Tori said to Beck, "We could always come back tomorrow, I guess."
The waiting room was practically empty now and it was getting late anyway.
"Alright," he said. Tori linked her arm with his and the four of them exited the hospital.
It was chilly and dark outside, already past 10 o'clock and they were all pretty tired.
"So Cat's gonna be just fine," Tori was saying to herself. "Everything's gonna be just..." she trailed off, squinting at someone in the distance. And then she said something startling. "Hi Jade."
Jade approached slowly with heavy footsteps. She looked back and forth between him and Tori and then the rest of the group. Tori instinctively let go of Beck's arm like she always used to, even though it wasn't really necessary anymore.
"What are you doing here?" Beck asked.
She crossed her arms. "I came as soon as I heard," she mumbled. "How is she?"
Robbie and Andre exchanged a glance, and then looked at Beck waiting to see what was gonna happen.
"She hasn't woken up yet, but she's gonna be okay," Beck replied.
Jade nodded.
And then there was an awkward pause of silence.
Andre cleared his throat and then finally Tori said, "Well..I guess I'd better go call my mom and see if she'll give us a ride home. Andre? Robbie?"
They both nodded and followed suit as she walked away. So that now it was just Beck and Jade, standing together in the street between the hospital and the parking lot.
"So who told you?" he asked her.
"Tori texted me." As soon as the others left Jade let go of her hard exterior completely. "Look, you don't have to sit there and pretend you don't hate me, okay I know this is all my fault."
"I don't hate you, Jade." He admitted.
"And that's exactly what your problem is. You're way too nice. You should hate me after what I did to your...girlfriend, or whatever."
Beck sat down on the curb. "I think Cat's problems have more to do with herself than they do with you, so to be fair you can't take all the credit."
"It's still my fault though," she said, stepping closer carefully before finally sitting down next to him.
"Jade be honest with me. Did you paint the word slut on Cat's locker?" he asked.
And she looked him in the eyes and said, "No, I didn't."
He held her gaze. "Good...because everyone thought I was crazy for defending you but I knew you wouldn't have done that."
"But I did kiss you on purpose," she said. "I didn't know what to do when I saw you kissing Cat that day. I could handle seeing you holding hands and talking and laughing together, but that kiss...it made me sick. I'm sorry."
"I get it, you were upset."
"I was really mad, at you mostly and I wanted to get back at you. But I went and vented to my so called 'friends' and they kept telling me how I needed to get back at you and her."
"So you tried to break us up? And then they were the ones who painted Cat's locker," he stated as a fact. It all made sense to him now.
"I'm 99.9% sure it was them, even though they won't admit it."
He found that to be very screwed up. Those girls didn't even know Cat and yet they were so comfortable with being malicious towards her. And they obviously had no clue what the reprecussions of their actions were gonna be.
"You shouldn't hang out with people like that, Jade. You're better than that," he told her.
She smiled bitterly. "Well, if I'm so great then why did you cheat on me?"
"Jade, c'mon-"
"No, actually I really want to know. And why Cat? I mean what makes her so special?"
And suddenly Beck became aware of how tired he really was. He was not in the mood to deal with all of this. "What do you want me to say? You're just gonna get mad no matter what I tell you."
"You're right about that because I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did."
"I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what to do or how to make it up to you, so the only thing I can do is apologize."
She crossed her arms like she always did when she was being stubborn. "Apologize all you want."
"Jade, please.." But eventually he just gave up and changed the subject. He felt like he was about ready to pass out any second and he just wanted to get home, back to his trailer and sleep. "How did you get here anyway?"
"I took a bus," she said.
"Oh. So you need a ride home then?"
She shrugged. "Whatever."
And they drove in silence, with nothing but the sound of passing cars around them. He could tell that Jade was upset by the way she sat slumped over in her seat, with her arms still crossed together. But she kept her eyes fixed downwards as if she was deep in thought about something. At some point right before they turned onto the street that led to her house, she turned to him and said, "Beck?"
"Yeah."
"You were with Cat when it happened...after she took the pills."
They stopped at a red light and he turned to look at her. Then he explained, "She fainted in my arms and I had to call the police. Her mom was downstairs so I had to tell her everything...I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life," he said.
Jade didn't say anything back. And they spent the rest of the ride to her house avoiding eye contact. Beck couldn't help but wonder what was going through her head but she wasn't giving anything away. When they finally pulled up to her driveway, she seemed to have changed her demeanor a bit. She softened and looked at him almost like she felt sorry for him.
"I get it now," she said.
"Get what?"
"I'm gonna back off of you and Cat, and let you guys be together or whatever."
He wasn't really expecting her to be this understanding. "Okay...and why the sudden change of heart?" he asked.
And she said, "Because I get it now. You and I broke up and it sucked and I cried for days over it, but now...I realized that I'm gonna be okay without you. Not now, but eventually, I will. But Cat...she wouldn't be. She needs you, Beck."
"Wow," he said.
Every now and then Jade would surprise him by doing the opposite of what he thought she would do and being mature.
"Yeah, well."
"Umm, thanks I guess."
"This doesn't mean that I forgive you for cheating on me though."
And he understood that. "Yeah, but I really am sorry about that. I'll never stop being sorry, Jade. It was messed up and wrong and you didn't deserve it."
Beck knew that Jade really did love him and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't love her too...back then, but things were just different now. He felt differently and he couldn't change that, even if he wanted to. Cat had always had a place in his heart and now that place was just growing, bigger and bigger everyday. He couldn't help it.
Jade touched his arm before she got out of the vehicle, like that was her way of telling him goodbye. And with that they finally ended things for good and his life had gotten a little less complicated.
But there was still a problem at hand that he needed to get sorted out, and right now it was lying in a hospital bed, miles away from him. The next day at school Beck's mind was preoccupied to say the least. All around him people talked and words went past him but none of it registered because all he could think about was Cat. He was supposed to do a scene in Sikowitz's class but he couldn't remember any of his lines so he just sat it out and took a zero. And the rest of the day seemed to drag on forever. But afterwards he was able to drive straight to the hospital, where he knew she'd be waiting, expecting him.
And when he entered the room she was sitting up in the hospital bed finally awake. They locked eyes and he waved nervously at her and her mother, who was sitting in the chair beside her, nursing a cup of coffee.
"Hello, Mrs. Valentine. Hi Cat," he said to both of them.
Mrs. Valentine nodded to him and Cat gave him a small smile. Then she turned to her mother and said, "Mom could you go to the cafeteria and get me another juice please?"
"Sure, sweetheart." She got up and left the two of them alone and as soon as she was gone Beck walked over to Cat and kissed her on the forehead.
"How are you?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I've been better."
Beck settled into the chair next to her. "Cat, you nearly scared me to death. What the hell happened?"
She knew what he was referring to. "I don't know...I guess I wasn't thinking. I don't even remember taking all those pills," she said.
But there had to be a reason why she almost killed herself. She couldn't just brush it off as 'I don't know' and 'I wasn't thinking clearly'. Was it because of Jade and the girls at school who were so set on making her life miserable? Or was any of this his fault? Maybe it was everything built up over time and she just decided she couldn't take it anymore. Beck started to feel guilty because he realized that somehow he did have a part in all this. He should've tried harder to reach out to her before this happened. He should've gotten to her sooner and stopped her from doing it.
"I told everyone it was an accident," she admitted. "The medicine I take prescribed by my doctor isn't supposed to be taken with other pills because it's dangerous...but I told them I forgot all about that and took some of my mom's sleeping pills anyway. That's why I overdosed in case you were wondering."
He watched her face carefully and took all of this in. "So you lied..."
"I didn't want to lie."
"Then why did you?"
"Because telling the truth would've hurt them. And I didn't want to hurt them like I hurt you, Beck. I'm really sorry."
"Don't be sorry, just please don't ever do anything like that again," he said. "You really scared me."
"I won't I promise."
He sighed. "What did the doctor say?"
"They made me talk to a psycho...a psyche-"
"Psychiatrist?"
"Yeah, whatever. That. And I did a 'psychiatric evaluation'. I've done so many of those and they always ask you the same questions."
"Well what did they say? What's gonna happen?"
She frowned and looked at him solemnly. "They said that it's probably best if I don't go home right away. That means after I leave this hospital I have to go back to Evergreen."
His face matched hers. "For how long?"
"I don't know.."
It could be weeks or it could be months before they'd get to be together again. Beck hated the idea of her being locked away like that all over again, away from her friends and the people who really cared about her. Who was gonna cheer her up when she was sad or talk her down when she was in one of her moods? And who was gonna love her the way that he did? Certainly not the nurses and doctors at Evergreen.
"I messed everything up didn't I?" she said.
"It's not your fault. You couldn't help it, you were...sick," he said, unable to think of a better term.
"I wish I wasn't though. I hate it when I feel that way. When I'm 'sick' everything feels so awful and it's like nothing I do can make it better. It's really scary. It makes me want to just cry and sleep forever.."
He scooted closer to her in his chair. "Cat, you just have to understand that those feelings aren't real. They don't last forever right?"
She shook her head. "No, they don't."
"See," he said. "And what makes them go away?"
She smiled, slightly. "You make them go away. I feel better when I'm with you."
And he smiled back, feeling a light warm sensation in his chest. And he took both of her hands in his. "Then that's how we're gonna fix it. We're gonna be together, always and I don't care what happens. Or what anyone says." He held her hands up to his lips and kissed them, and she smiled wider. He kissed them again and she giggled.
Mrs. Valentine entered the room as he was doing it and she cleared her throat, subsequently ending their moment. She looked back and forth between the two of them uncomfortably, but then smiled tightly.
Beck let go of Cat's hands and sat back in his chair.
"Sorry to interrupt..." she said. "But Cat, you've got more visitors."
Tori, Andre, Robbie and Rex all filed into the room after her and Cat lit up like a Christmas tree. Andre was holding a balloon that said 'Get Well Soon'.
"Hi, guys," Cat said smiling brightly. They all greeted her and Beck and took turns giving Cat hugs. And the room was filled with good energy again, with any tension there between them and Cat's mom dissolved rapidly like smoke.
But pretty soon she told them it was time for them to leave. And when Beck was leaving she stopped him outside in the hallway and said she wanted to speak to him.
Beck wasn't quite sure what to expect but he decided to play it cool. "I'm really glad Cat's okay," he said.
"Yes, we all are...but, Beck I see what's going on here," she said.
"I'm sorry?"
"With you and my daughter. I saw the way you were looking at her, dear I'm not blind."
He thought about how to respond to that and spoke honestly. "I care about her Mrs. Valentine."
"That's very sweet, and I'm sure you do. And it's understandable because you're both so young and Cat's a very beautiful girl...but she's also very special, Beck. There are some things you need to understand," she told him.
He was confused. "Like what?"
"Like how relationships come with a lot of complications and they can be stressful, especially for someone like my daughter. And I just don't think having one is what's best for her right now. I'm sure you can understand that."
"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I follow. You want me to stop seeing her?"
She sighed. "Look at everything that's happened so far and look at where she is now."
"And you think that's my fault?"
"Well if I'm not mistaken this all happened as a result of bullying over something that you did."
He frowned. In the counselors office Cat had told Lane everything that happened and apparently Lane must have told Cat's mom.
"High school drama is silly but it can be very damaging, especially to someone as sensitive as Cat."
"I never meant for her to get hurt."
"Of course you didn't... Look, you're a nice kid and everything but I have to do to what's best for my daughter. You don't have to worry about her anymore alright? She's gonna be safe back in the facility with doctors who are going to take care of her."
Yeah, so you don't have to he thought.
He didn't say anything for awhile, he just stood there taking all of it in. So Mrs. Valentine took that to mean that the message was getting across.
"So we're clear on things now?"
"Yeah, crystal," he said stoically.
She smiled and said, "I'm glad you understand. And you can relay this message on to the rest of her friends too by the way," and she walked back to her daughter's room, leaving him standing there unsure of what to do next.
Apparently his next move was to go complain to his friends about it.
After seeing Cat they all went to go get ice cream. They were sitting outside at one of the tables and everyone else was enjoying their treats, but Beck wasn't really in the mood for ice cream.
"She really said that to you?" Tori asked, disbelief written all over her face.
He nodded.
"Dang, that's messed up," Andre noted.
"I know," Beck said. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
And suddenly 'Rex' shouted, "Oh please..MAN UP!" Beck raised his eyebrows.
"He's right," Robbie said, referring to the puppet on his arm. "Just because Cat's parents want you to stay away from her, doesn't mean you have to listen."
"I don't know..."
Andre patted him on the back. "Oh c'mon, you guys could do the whole 'Romeo and Juliet' thing."
Tori laughed.
"I meant that I don't know how that would even be possible. Her mom made it sound like she was going away for good this time. I'm probably not gonna be able to see her at all...and I don't think any of us are."
Tori slammed her hands down on the table in frustration. "That doesn't make any sense at all! What did we do that was so terrible?"
He shrugged.
She stood up and slapped her hand down on his shoulder. "Beck, you have to do something. You can't just let them lock her away like that! You have to stand up for what's right and you need to do it soon...for Cat. You need to fight for your love."
Andre and Robbie stared at her for a second like she was crazy before nodding and deciding that she was right.
"The girl's right," Andre said.
"Yeah, man it's all up to you," Robbie agreed.
Beck understood where they were coming from but he just couldn't see what exactly it was that they expected him to do. If Cat's parents didn't want him around their daughter then they were probably gonna make sure that he wasn't at whatever costs. There was no way of getting around it, especially while she was being institutionalized. He was practically powerless.
He did try calling a few times and he showed up at the hospital again, but by that time she was already gone, transferred to the new place she would be staying. He'd left feeling defeated, blaming himself for being too late. He at least wanted to say goodbye to her.
It was awhile before he got to see her again, like he'd predicted, and most of his time without her was spent moping around. Everyone got tired of his sucky attitude, but he couldn't help it. He was worried about Cat and he just needed to see with his own eyes that she was okay. He wanted to hug her and talk to her for a bit and let her know that he hadn't forgotten about her, and that he meant what he said about wanting to be with her always, even though he wasn't really showing it right now. And to be honest he mostly just missed her. He missed her ditzy, high-pitched laugh, and her ridiculous jokes and her red cupcake hair. He missed everything about her.
"Beck? Are you even listening to me?" Tori asked, annoyed. They were sitting at lunch together, two weeks later.
"What? Sorry," he murmured.
"Lemme guess, daydreaming about the redhead again?"
He folded his arms on the table and slumped down, lowering his head.
"Well if you were wondering, I was just saying how you need to eat something. You know, keep your strength up?" she said, offering him half of her sandwich.
"I'm not hungry," he muttered.
"Okay, Beck this routine is getting a little old," she said.
"What do you mean?"
"This whole 'pity-party-let's-mope-around-and-do-nothing-when-clearly-I-should-be-doing-something-boohoo-woe-is-me' routine."
"What are you saying, Tori?"
"I'm saying go see her. Beck, you haven't even tried."
"It's no use. Her mom made it pretty clear what she wants.."
"Who cares? Since when do people listen to what their parents say anyway? You need to follow your heart and do what's gonna make you happy."
He took the half of sandwich she was offering him and shook his head at her. "You know, you can be really sappy sometimes."
She smiled and shrugged. "Maybe so but you know I'm right. And besides, who are they to say what's best for Cat anyway?"
"Uhh, well they are her parents."
"Yeah, well I still haven't forgiven her mother for calling me Trina." And then Tori changed the subject. "Hey, you know what I've noticed?"
"What's that?"
She grinned. "You really have a thing for crazy girls don't you? I mean Jade was in her own league of difficultness, but now with this whole thing with Cat...you must really like a challenge."
He rolled his eyes but he knew she was just teasing him, trying to cheer him up. And sometimes he was grateful to have her around to say things like that. Most of the time, actually.
"Yeah that's why I do it. I think I have like a savior complex or something."
She squeezed his arm. "Go and see Cat today, Beck. You have to at least try. I have a feeling she really needs you right now."
As usual, he realized that Tori was right. And that sitting around wasn't going to solve anything. And as it turns out, surprisingly, being able to see Cat wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. In his mind he'd had it envisioned as this big, impossible goal but it turned out to not be so hard after all. Regardless of Cat's parents' request of only immediate family members being allowed to visit her, he managed to get past the front desk anyway. The receptionist recognized him from the many times he'd been there before and she knew right away who he was there to see. She didn't even bother checking him in. The phone rang and immediately caught her attention, so she just told him what room number and waved him along.
It was on the same floor and in the same hallway as her old room so he had no trouble finding it. When he got to her door he knocked before opening it. Cat was sitting up on her bed with her legs crossed, staring out the window.
"Surprise?" he said nervously, shutting the door behind him. But she didn't even look over at him and when she didn't immediately acknowledge him he started to get alarmed. "Cat what's wrong?"
She wasn't frowning and she didn't look sad. Her face was completely expressionless, a blank grey slate. She looked tired and bored, like she was incapable of showing any emotion at all. Like she felt nothing.
"What are you looking at?" he asked, walking over to the window, which was completely bolted shut.
She didn't respond... Why wasn't she talking to him?
Outside there was nothing but green grass, a cloudy sky and in the distance the long, winding road that led to the way out of the place. A few of the patients were out with their nurses on their evening strolls, but mostly there wasn't really anything out there to look at. He realized that Cat was staring at absolutely nothing.
Two possibilities crossed his mind. She was either drugged on some new medication that was sucking the life out of her or she was too depressed about her situation to pretend to be positive anymore. It wasn't like the last time she'd been there, something was definitely different this time. Something wasn't right.
He sat down on the bed beside her. "Okay if you're not gonna talk to me...then I guess you're just gonna have to listen."
She blinked.
"I haven't stopped thinking about you, Cat. I don't want you thinking that I've forgotten about you just because I haven't been around okay? I could never do that."
The more she sat quietly the more unsettling it was for him. She was supposed to be smiling and laughing, or at least moving and doing something. Not sitting there like a lifeless mute.
He put his hand over hers and held onto it. And in a gentler voice he asked, "What's wrong Cat? Why won't you talk to me?"
But he got nothing out of her.
For awhile he just sat beside her and thought about things, tried to figure out what he should do next because just talking didn't seem to be getting him anywhere. And he thought about his friends and how they kept telling him that he needed to do something for Cat, that it was his responsibility and it was probably going to be up to him and no one else. Because he was the one who loved her. And he was supposed to make sure that she was safe and happy, at whatever costs.
"You hate it here don't you?" he practically stated. She didn't say anything but she didn't have to because he could already tell by the way she was acting. Cat never acted this miserable.
Tori's voice echoed in his mind..'You have to do something!...Stand up for what's right and fight for your love..'
And Andre's...'She's right, you gotta do something..'
And Robbie's...'It's all up to you dude...'
And Rex's...'MAN UP!'
And even Jade's...'She needs you, Beck..'
So he let all of that get to his head. And he said something crazy. "Well...what if I said I was gonna get you out?"
And that finally got her attention.
Gosh what is Beck gonna do next? I wonder...
Thanks for reading and please leave a review. Pretty please?
