hello all! final chapter here :)

it feels a little rushed to me, but i'm happy with the way it finished.

enjoy!


MONDAY

Kate bolted upright early the next morning. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest, her skin was hot and flushed, she felt like her lungs couldn't get enough air. Her throat felt raw as though she'd been screaming, but the warm weight across her lap told her Rick was still slumbering.

With wild eyes, Kate looked around the room. The sun was barely starting to rise over the skyline, the bedroom still relatively dark in the pre-dawn hours. The blankets fell tousled around her legs and the clock flashed 5:21 am at her.

The blankets felt restricting on the portion of her legs they covered, Rick's arm was heavy and the silence was smothering. Somewhere in the loft, a clock was softly ticking.

She had to get out.

The nightmare had been too real, the emotions too fresh. Kate had to get out of the bed, the room, the loft; catch her breath, feel the cool air on her face. She squeezed her hands into fists and closed her eyes, trying to stop her body from trembling so she could move without tripping over herself.

It took a few minutes, but Kate finally lifted Rick's arm carefully and slid out from under it, carefully climbing out of the bed.

The hardwood was cool under her feet and she pulled on a pair of wool socks her father had packed for her. Sweatpants were traded for her pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt went over her tank top.

As she curled fingers around the doorknob, Kate glanced over her shoulder; Rick snored softly, not having moved a muscle. She sighed gently and turned away from the sight, rubbing her wrists after closing the door behind her.

After pulling on a pair of running shoes at the door, she slipped silently out into the hall.

The ride down to the lobby was quiet, the elevator bright and cool, soothing. In the tiled entryway, the doorman barely looked up from his newspaper and coffee, simply flicking a look her way.

Kate pushed open the doors and stepped into the early morning air. A cold breeze swept over her face and neck, cooling the sweat there. She took a deep breath and took a few steps down the sidewalk until she could lean against the building.

The fresh air soothed the frayed nerves and calmed the frantic beating of her heart. Across the street, a cabbie sat with a cup of coffee and a newspaper. Down the block, a man in a suit was climbing into a town car. Somewhere in the distance, a horn honked and sirens screamed.

Where the silence had been stifling before, the sounds of the city around her were suddenly too much at once. Kate felt like there was an itch under her skin she couldn't scratch, something tickling the back of her neck that she couldn't reach. She felt jittery and nervous and exhausted all at once and she didn't know what to do.

Up the other end of the block, a mother was climbing into a car carrying a little girl. The child looked sleepy and disoriented, sucking her thumb as she blinked at her surroundings. A man came out of the neighbouring building and it was a short moment before the girl noticed him and let her thumb slip from her mouth.

"Daddy!"

Little arms reached for the man, who beamed and moved to scoop the little girl into his arms for a last hug goodbye.

"Bye daddy!"

The woman smiled at the man and took the little girl back, sliding into the car and closing the door. The man stood and waved until the car turned a corner and disappeared.

Kate watched the whole scene play out all the way up until the man went back inside, hands in his pants pockets.

"Daddy," she whispered, thinking fast. Without wasting another moment, Kate turned on her heel and walked briskly back through the doors and across the lobby, bypassing the elevator to take the stairs two at a time.

When she silently let herself back into the loft, Kate was sure of her plan. Just thinking about seeing her dad, the comfort his arms would bring, the familiar smell and feel of him, of his apartment, made her feel that much more grounded.

She walked softly into the bedroom and grabbed her bag from the hospital. She shoved all her clothes back into it, adding the watch and ring carefully into a side pocket with a zipper.

Finished, Kate looked over at the bed, at Rick, and debated waking him. To explain, to tell him where she was going, to kiss his forehead and get one last Castle hug. But the need to just GO was overwhelming and the panic was rising in her chest again.

She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and grabbed her purse, checking to make sure she had enough cab fare, before she left the loft as silently as she'd come in.


Jim Beckett was not an early riser or a morning person by any means. He liked sleep too much to give it up before it was absolutely necessary. And since he'd taken the week off work to stay with Kate while she recovered, there was no need to be up just yet.

The insistent knocking at his front door said otherwise.

Dragging himself into a sitting position, Jim scrubbed a hand over his face. Glancing at the clock, he noted it was just edging towards 6am. Sunlight was just fighting at the horizon. Who the hell was banging on his door at 6 in the morning?

The knocking turned to pounding and Jim frowned slightly, pushing his legs over the bed to stand up and stretch. Could it be Rick? Something wrong with Kate? But why wouldn't he just call? A quick look to his cell phone showed no such occurrence.

The pounding was getting steadier, more manic, and Jim was worried now. He thanked God his neighbour to the left was a truck driver and out of town and the tenant to the right was deaf. Across from him was the stairwell.

He crossed his bedroom and the living room quickly, taking a second to look through the peephole even though he knew who was on the other side as a muffled 'Daddy' came through the wood.

Kate's scared and tear-stained face waited for him on the other side of the peephole and her name had barely escaped his mouth before he'd opened the door and she had thrown herself into his arms.

Jim caught her easily, concern and adrenaline overpowering any lingering tiredness. Confusion was at the forefront of his thoughts, surpassed only by worry for his only child.

"Katie," he breathed again, holding her tightly to him with an arm around her back and the other cradling the back of her head. His daughter was tall, and even in her sneakers she could look him straight in the eye. But now she was curled in on herself, fitting herself under his chin and grasping his T-shirt at the waist.

"Katie, what is it?" Jim could hardly remember the last time he'd seen his daughter so upset, barring the months after Johanna had been killed. It had been nightmares upon nightmares then, ones that had her screaming in the middle of the night.

Hot tears splattered his neck and pooled on his collar, turning the fabric dark. He tightened his grip and Kate's sobs quieted slightly, little gasps escaping as she tried to catch her breath and calm herself down.

Jim began stroking her hair and rubbing her back simultaneously, something he'd figured out when Kate had been little and upset. A yawn forced itself past her trembling lips and Jim kept up the motions. Eventually, her gasps quieted and her breathing evened out, her grip loosening and leaving wrinkled fabric in the wake of her shaking fingers.

"Katie?" He said lowly, voice still gravelly with sleep.

Kate pulled back as small a distance as she could without leaving the circle of her father's arms. "I had the worst nightmare," she started, but tears pooled in her eyes again and one welled over and slid down her cheek. Jim reached up and thumbed it away, not saying a word.

"It was, horrible." Kate sniffed and brought her own hand up to wipe the next few tears that fell. "There was blood everywhere and you," she swallowed thickly, face crumbling, "and you and mom, Rick, everyone,"

The tears choked her voice and blurred her vision. Jim made a sympathetic sound and pulled her into his arms again, rocking her gently. He finally had the presence of mind to kick the door shut behind Kate.

"Do you want to lie down again? Or sit on the couch?" He murmured in her ear. Kate took deep breaths and shook her head. Jim chuckled lightly. "No to what, sweetheart?"

Kate took a final deep breath and pulled back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, you hate mornings and I'm a mess, I should just go-,"

"No," Jim grasped her wrist as she tried to pull away and Kate looked down at her bandaged arm. "I'm not letting go. Come here," he finished gently, tugging her along behind him into his bedroom.

Idly he was glad he'd done laundry and put clean sheets on the bed, tidied up just the other day. Jim sat Kate down on the edge of the bed and squeezed her hands once before leaving to grab a glass of cool water and a damp washcloth.

He was right where he left her when he came back and Jim helped Kate take a sip of the water before he set it aside and raised the washcloth to her tearstained cheeks. With each pass of the fabric over her skin, Jim noticed her relaxing, eyes blinking slowly.

"Katie, are you okay? Do you want to try and sleep some more?"

Kate nodded, but took his hand when he went to leave. "Will you stay? Just in case, in case I have another nightmare?"

Jim nodded and watched her slide back into the middle of the bed and slip under the warm blankets. He sat on one side of her, his weight dipping the mattress so she rolled towards him, and smoothed a hand over her hair until she was relaxed into the pillows.

"Katie, does Rick know you're here?" he asked suddenly but quietly, the thought striking him as the clock ticked to 6:23.

Kate shook her head and closed her eyes, yawned. "I had to get out, it was too much, the quiet and then the noise outside and the blankets were heavy and his arm held me down, I'm sorry," she breathed out, getting a little restless again.

"Shh, it's okay, I'll call him later okay? Just relax, sleep, I'm here sweetheart. I love you,"

"Love you too daddy,"

Jim watched over her, eventually scooting up to sit against the headboard as he watched his daughter sleep. As if watching over her would stop the wicked images he knew her imagination would conjure for her from threatening her sleep.


A full night's sleep in his own bed, a good full night's sleep no less, had Castle waking up naturally to sun slanting over his cheek. He yawned widely and stretched a full body stretch, one that he was positive looked ridiculous but felt amazing, and blinked open tired eyes.

Wait.

Full body stretch. That took up most of the bed when he did it. He knew this because he'd kicked various women (Meredith, Gina, Alexis, the now-meaningless few women from before he met Kate) in the process.

Castle frowned; he hadn't encountered another body. The sheets next to him were cool to the touch.

Blinking a few times to clear the sleep and adjust to the light, Castle felt worry begin to settle in his chest. He sat up and sure enough found the other side of the bed empty. The only evidence Kate had been there was a slight indentation in the other pillow where her head had been.

He looked around the room, like she'd be sitting at the bay window waiting for him to get up.

Her bag was gone from in front of the closet. Her watch and ring were gone. The sweatshirt she'd discarded yesterday was gone. She was gone.

What the hell?

Castle flung himself out of bed and lurched towards the bathroom, searching frantically for any sign Kate was still in the loft.

The bathroom empty, he tore down the stairs, nearly killing himself on the landing, and skidded into the kitchen.

"Richard, what an entrance? What's the matter?" Martha said, startled at her son's sudden and disheveled appearance.

"Kate, where's, have you seen Kate?" he asked, probably a little louder than necessary.

Martha smiled comfortingly and rose so she could place a steadying hand on his forearm. "Richard, she's fine. She's with her father. She had a panic attack this morning and left early. Practically beat the sun,"

Castle was still foggy from sleep and overfocused from the adrenaline. "She's okay? She's at her dad's?"

Martha rubbed the hand on his arm back and forth gently. "She's alright. Jim Beckett called a little while ago. From what he can gather, she woke up from a nightmare and had a panic attack. Something triggered her to leave, and in a hurry, and she did. She's sleeping, last I heard."

"But she's okay. She's alright. At her dad's. I have to go see her." Castle took deep breaths and turned his arm over so he could grip his mother's hand.

"Sure. Why don't you bring in some lunch?" Martha suggested, leaving her dramatic flair for when her son was in a state to appreciate it. Now wasn't the time. Now was the time for mothering, not theatrics.

"Yeah. Lunch." he took another deep breath. "Okay. I'm going to go get dressed."


Jim leaned against the doorframe and watching his daughter sleep. She was curled up in the middle of the bed, pillow tucked to her chest, breathing evenly and face smooth. For now she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

He couldn't bring himself to leave the room for very long after Kate had fallen asleep. As soon as she was out of sight, he kept seeing her face when he opened his front door a few hours ago, tear stained and scared.

Kate sighed lightly and turned over so she was facing the door now, still asleep. A bandaged hand flopped over and curled into the blanket. Jim let his eyes trace the white gauze around her wrists, wishing those had been the worst of her problems.

The phone call to Rick's loft had been a short one, but Jim could easily tell how much Martha cared for his daughter. She fretted about and asked questions after her, wanted to wake Rick up right away and tell him. He'd convinced her to let him sleep, he'd only rush over and want to wake Kate up anyway.

"My son is truly, deeply in love with your daughter," Martha had said before they hung up.

"Pretty sure my little girl has it bad for your son as well," Jim responded, the parents sharing a smile through the phone line.

There was a soft knock on the front door and Jim turned to the source of the noise. He glanced once more at Kate, still sleeping, before pushing off the frame and going for the door. Jim already knew who would be on the other side.

"Rick, good afternoon," Jim greeted with a tired smile. Rick tried to return it and held out a tray of paper cups.

"You look like you could use some of this," Castle passed over the tray of three cups and followed the older man through the entryway, closing the door behind him with his foot. "I've got some lunch as well. Hope you like burgers,"

Jim set the tray down and glanced at the open bedroom door before turning back to the writer. "Love 'em. Did you want to-?" he trailed off, gesturing to the open door.

Castle flicked his gaze to the open door and back to Jim. "Can I?"

Jim smiled wider, hearing the obvious hope in Castle's voice before, continuing. "She's got to eat anyway. I doubt she stopped for breakfast on her way here," he tried to lighten the mood.

The older man followed the writer as he headed for the bedroom and stopped as Castle continued inside.

Castle noted the pictures covering the dresser and bedside table; most of Kate, some of Jim and Kate, and one, resting on the table closest to the bed, was of Johanna holding a much younger Kate, both smiling widely for the camera.

Castle smiled at the display of family before Kate caught his attention. She was still curled as Jim had left her, face still smooth, dreams still peaceful.

He settled carefully on the bed next to her, mindful of the fact that this was her father's bed, and gently stroked a hand down her shoulder, calling her name softly.

Kate shifted a little and frowned, but didn't wake up. Castle called her name again and smoothed her hair back from her face, settling a hand on her cheek. He wasn't sure how far he could push this physical thing between them, even if they had shared a bed last night. Even if she'd allowed everything so far.

"What," Kate grumbled, turning away from his hand and burying her crinkled face in the pillow, not quite ready to wake up yet.

"Kate. Wake up, time for food. I've got coffee. Even when you sneak off and give me a small myocardial infarction this morning,"

Kate turned towards his voice now and licked her lips. "A what?" she rasped out, squinting up at him.

He grinned. "Heart attack. Nearly took 10 years off my life," he said cheerily, feeling much better now that he could see his detective was unharmed and safe.

"Sorry," she said sleepily, looking up at him apologetically. She held out a hand to him.

Castle took her hand in his and pulled her up and into his arms, pressing his face into her neck and hair. "Are you okay?"

Kate smiled at her father over Castle's shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine,"

"A blatant lie, Miss Beckett, if you're running off in the middle-,"

"Okay, okay, so I'm not 100%. But I will be. I promise. Do I smell burgers? Did you bring Remy's?"

Castle pulled back and grinned widely, forcing himself to let her evasion tactic go. She'd talk when she was ready. "I did. Now, let's get you up and eating."

Kate watched him carefully for a moment and saw the fear and concern still lingering in his eyes. She leaned forward and pressed a quick, gentle kiss on his lips before shuffling past him off the bed. Squeezing her father's arm as she past him in the doorway, she went in search of the burgers.

Castle sat there, in the room of the father of the love of his life, in shock. She'd just kissed him. A grin spread across his face.


6 months later...

"In the case of Samuel Bright, we the jury find the defendant, Scott Daniels, guilty of murder in the first degree."

"In the case of Victoria Bright..."

"In the case of Jack Young..."

"Sydney Logan."

"Gabrielle Adams."

"Ben Allan."

"Jennifer Hale."

"Henry Jackson."

"Julia Wilder."

"Oliver Wilder."

"We the jury find the defendant, Scott Daniels, guilty."

"Guilty."

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

Kate sat with Rick in the back of the courtroom as Scott Daniels faced his verdict. The man had looked cool and collected all morning, leaning back casually in his chair and examining his fingernails with an air of arrogance. He thought nothing could touch him.

As each guilty verdict was read aloud, Daniels became more and more agitated.

She squeezed Rick's hand as the judge read out the sentences for each individual Daniels had killed. Each name brought forth a face and Kate found herself getting a little agitated, a little restless.

"For murder in the first degree, Scott Daniels, you are sentence to 28 years in prison. Due to the severity and brutality of these crimes, you will be held in a federal penitentiary." the judge, a stern older man with gold rimmed glasses stared down at the defendant.

Daniels let out a small breath and his tense shoulders relaxed a fraction. Kate knew the man thought the judge meant 28 years all together for the lives he'd ruined. She felt a dark satisfaction as Judge Carson shook his head at Daniels' relaxing posture.

"Don't get too comfortable Mr. Daniels. 28 years for each victim. To be served consecutively with no chance for parole until half the sentence has been served at 140 years. I seriously doubt you will make it that far."

Daniels had his fists clenched tightly now, his hands trembling with barely controlled rage.

"Now, in the case of kidnapping in the first degree of NYPD Detective First Grade Katherine Beckett."

Kate held her breath and squeezed Rick's hand. His other hand came to rest on top of their entwined hands and he told her to breathe.

Kate had testified a few weeks ago, and had done well, even on the cross examination. Ryan and Esposito, Lanie and Montgomery, her father, Martha Alexis and numerous cops from the precinct had been there to support her. Right now, though, Rick was the only one with her, as per her request.

There was very little doubt that Daniels would be convicted to the full extent of the law, but the worry still ate at her a little bit.

"Jury, how do you find the defendant, Scott Daniels, in the case of kidnapping in the first degree?"

"We the jury find the defendant, Scott Daniels, guilty of kidnapping in the first degree."

Kate let the air leave her chest, felt a weight lift from her shoulders. Tears welled in her eyes but she held them back. Rick's hand gripped hers. She felt like the last 6 months had really been for something; between therapy and leave from work and nightmares and stupid fights with Rick and running for her father she'd been losing herself.

She felt whole again, in just that moment.

Daniels was pulled from his chair and shiny metal cuffs closed around his wrists. Kate held herself high as he sent a venomous look her way. She met the glare head on and watched as he was led out of the courtroom after being sentenced to an additional 25 years for her kidnapping with malicious intent.

"You did it." Rick whispered in her ear as soon as the heavy doors closed behind Daniels. Kate sagged slightly against him.

"We did it."

Rick pressed a kiss to her temple, then her cheek when she smiled.

"Let's get out of here," he muttered against her skin.

"Yeah, home. Can we stop at Remy's?" she answered as Rick wrapped an arm around her shoulders once they stood.

"Appetite finally coming back?"

They pushed through the doors at the back of the courtroom and were surrounded by marble pillars and tile, people pushing in crowds around them from other trials and hearings.

When they got to Rick's town car, the writer pulled open the door for Kate. She paused, though, and turned to face him instead with a smile.

"What?" Rick asked.

"I feel, good. Like really good." she flashed him a smile, a real one, and he grinned back.

"Good, I'm glad."

Kate leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, smiling as Rick's arms came up around her to tug her closer to him. He pulled back and squeezed her tightly, delighting in the sound of her laugh so close to his ear.

"Ready? I'm craving that burger now." Kate moved to pull back and Rick released her.

"Let's go." As they pulled out of the lot, Kate fingered the faint scars on her left wrist, the ring on the chain around her neck.

And then the one catching the sun on her finger.


and there's the end! a big undertaking for me hahaha

thanks so so much to everyone who read and everyone who reviewed! a few of the PM reviews got deleted in my alert emails, so if i didn't respond, THANKS FOR YOUR KIND WORDS :)

reviews are love!