Here's Chapter 2, hot off the presses of rewriting. These long chapters kill me, honestly. There are some major changes in this one. Enjoy my blood, sweat, and tears my dears!
Should Tell Her?
By Socially Suicidal
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the song Should I Tell Her. I own Arina and this story, respectively.
Chapter Two: Lonely Moon and Radiant Sun
"We better get one hell of a greeting, if that's the one she gets!" Laughed a voice from the hallway, right outside of his door that was increasing in volume rapidly as the speaker moved closer to the room.
'They're here…'
Gaara's already pale complexion dulled to a near translucent hue as the voice of the rambunctious Leaf shinobi assaulted his senses.
Naruto and Sakura soon appeared through the office door, Naruto, with that infamous foxy grin on his face, while Sakura was smiling sweetly. Sakura had barely nodded to Gaara in greeting with a small bow of respect before she was attacked by the eldest dirty blonde kunoichi.
"Sakura!" Temari squealed and trapped her pink-haired friend in a death hug.
"Temari, I… appreciate the love, unfortunately… it's being ruined by… my lungs caving in," Sakura wheezed, her peachy features washing over with a sickly purple as oxygen was denied to her by the fan wielding kunoichi. Temari released the girl and rubbed the back of her neck while the healthy glow slowly returned to the Leaf medic, "Forgive me."
Sakura just laughed, rubbing the back of her neck. Gaara just stared in wonderment at the small female, charcoal rimmed eyes bright as he processed such a natural human interaction before him.
The dazed Kazekage was promptly assaulted by a loud ball of orange that clung to his neck in a bone crushing hug as the loudmouth himself exclaimed, "Gaara! I haven't seen you in ages!"
Gaara's widened verdant eyes narrowed with vehemence as a growl cut from his throat, "Off." His command was simple in substance but deep in the menace that dripped from his voice and curled around Naruto's spine until he slowly complied.
"E-heh" Naruto laughed nervously as he withdrew from the choleric Kazekage and leaned back into his signature pose with his arms crossed behind his head. Just as suddenly as he had pounced, Naruto's face scrunched up as he leaned forward, "Say! Did you get taller Gaara?"
Gaara's gaze remained impassive as he stared silently back at the tan shinobi blankly. Arina chuckled as she came to Naruto's rescue, "Yeah he did, I've finally gotten him eating better and its showing."
Grunting, Naruto's speculative gaze didn't waver as he continued to thoroughly inspect the unmoving redhead, "Are you okay, Gaara? You're sweating and you look pretty pale, I mean, even for you. Sakura?"
Sakura turned to Naruto upon hearing her name, pausing her conversation with Temari, and landed intelligent emerald eyes onto the pasty looking form of Gaara, whom was having an internal struggle deciding on the most efficient and clean way to maim Naruto, as well as where he could leave the body when he was done.
"Yeah, you're right, he looks a little pale." Sakura replied thoughtfully, falling immediately into her role as the concerned medic, "Do you feel alright?"
Gaara swallowed from under his thick robes, glazed eyes unfocused but directed at the girl whose concern grew with each passing second of his silence. The bijuu was barking madly within his mind and breathing felt like a hardship that was simply not worth the effort as the white washed walls of his office constricted around him rapidly.
He was only half aware of his own movement as he took a step back, away from the pinkheaded girl who had just taken a few steps toward him. She immediately stopped her approach as he backed up. Pink eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she assessed his shallow breathing and glazed expression. "Lord Gaara…" she began, only to be cut off by Arina.
The white eyed girl gave an energetic laugh, throwing a casual arm over Gaara's shoulders and administering him a hearty slap on the back. He lurched forward, but seemed to be aware enough to catch himself and throw her a withering glare, "Don't worry about him, he just skipped his lunch today. He gets a little grouchy when he's hungry.
Sakura didn't look entirely convinced but the unwavering confidence Arina was exuding made the explanation impossible to question and the medic turned back to Temari to continue their nearly forgotten conversation.
Arina just let out a breath of relief, shooting Gaara an empathetic look that clearly said, "We are going to talk about this later, young man." Replying with a look almost as dry as the desert he reined, Gaara turned on his heel and stalked back to his desk, falling into his chair almost exhaustedly.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her brother's antisocial theatrics, Temari turned toward the two visiting shinobi with a suggestion, "How about Arina and I take you guys for a tour and show you where you'll be staying?"
"But, I have work to do at the hospital and at the school." Sakura said quietly and looked toward the Kazekage, who seemed to be studying the papers on his desk to intently to be paying any attention.
"You can start tomorrow, but before you leave I need to talk to you about your obligations," Gaara suddenly replied monotonously, looking up from the sprawl of papers adorning his desk. As the people in his office continued to stare at him, he sighed. "Your presences aren't required."
There was a sound of realization and a mutter of indignation from the unneeded trio as they turned and left the office, closing the door behind them. Approaching his desk as she had done similarly countless times at her own Kage's desk when receiving missions, Sakura straightened her back and folded her hands behind her back formally. "Lord Kazekage?" she prompted uniformly.
Gaara's arms folded before him on his desk, his expression remaining unwaveringly emotionless despite the pasty complexion that remained harshly splashed across his face, "First, please do not feel the need to address me as Kazekage. It is unnecessary and reminds me of my father."
Blinking in confusion, Sakura slowly replied, "Alright… Lord Gaara."
"Tomorrow," he continued promptly, "you will be at the hospital at seven sharp and heal the serious injuries that cannot wait for your assistance." Shukaku cooed lowly, but was ignored as Gaara forced himself to exude a blank confidence that he was trying to convince himself he truly felt, "Then, you can go home, but here is your normal schedule."
He handed her a piece of paper, "From seven to noon, you work at the hospital, and from one to four you take your class at the school." Sakura nodded as she studied the paper, clearly trying to quickly memorize its contents.
Gaara nodded back, "Okay, you can go."
"Sounds good, Lord Gaara, I'll see you tomorrow." She turned to leave but was stopped by his voice, "One more thing." Quickly she spun around to see him standing now behind his desk, leaning on his hands as his long, maroon dusted strands fell into his burning verdant eyes.
Blinking, Sakura noted duly that Naruto was indeed right about the Kazekage's steady growth spurt. Inner Sakura chuckled, rearing her recessed head and offering low comments about the Sand nin's fuller form underneath his formal robes.
"I would prefer if you addressed me as plainly as possible, please drop the formal title before my name."
Nodding promptly in acceptance and offering a squeak of, "Of course, Gaara," Sakura turned and slipped out of the door gracefully. Sighing, Gaara sank back into his seat and attempted to at least make a dent in the paperwork he had been staring blankly at for the passed hours.
The three kunoichi and Naruto strolled down the bustling streets of Suna, Arina and Temari periodically pointing out landmarks or shops and restaurants they frequented. Sakura nodded and took everything in appreciatively, excited at the chance to learn about the different peoples and their customs. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed to be growing bored with the tour.
"Say, where's the best ramen stand around here?"
Temari cocked a dusty blond brow while Arina covered her snickers behind a gloved hand. Sakura just shook her head exasperatedly, "Naruto, you really do have a one track mind. The boisterous jinchuuriki just shrugged in reply.
"I hate to break it to you, but there is no ramen here. The best you'll get is maybe some instant stuff from the market," Arina replied as they turned the corner to a bustling street full of the scents and tastes of freshly prepared food in the many surrounding food stands, "If you're hungry though, a lot of good places are along this street."
It was then the three noticed Naruto was no longer keeping pace with them and they turned to see him standing rigidly among the crowd, mouth open and eyes wide with fury and shock. "No ramen stands? What has he done to this place? Gaaaaaaaaaaara!" He disappeared in a puff of smoke with a roar and intentions of maiming a certain stoic Kage.
The three exchanged looks, but seemed to come to the mutual agreement that Naruto's obsession with ramen rivaled that of Lee's with youth and one day, perhaps not soon, that an intervention would be necessary to save the poor blonde's soul.
"So," Sakura began, "Where to now?"
Temari scratched her chin and then launched a decisive finger in the air as she came to a conclusion, "Shopping?" She suggested with a grin before making a beeline to a nearby fabric stand. Sakura looked shocked by the sudden change in demeanor, unused to outbursts by the normally professional and cutting fan wielder.
Arina just laughed, being the first to recover, "We want to get you some clothes from Suna to bring back to Konoha with you. It's a real culture shock with the different styles here."
"I brought more than enough clothes with me," a confused Sakura replied.
"Nothing you brought will be like the stuff you can get here," Arina grabbed her hand and pulled her along as she ran. "Come on, Temari probably just noticed we aren't with her and will come hunting us down soon enough."
Sakura sighed as she was dragged, 'Well, I guess if I want to fit in, I should embrace all things Suna has to offer…'
Gaara strolled contentedly down the dimly lit streets, but if one was to say he strolled, he would have denied it with vehemence. The Kazekage never strolled. Anywhere. He was a dignified leader, and such men had no time to do anything with contentment, never mind strolling. No matter how nicely the sand dusted evening breeze floated around his robes and lifted his deep red hair about his head. He would also deny that the reason he had chosen to take a leisurely walk home from the office was to procrastinate his inevitable arrival at his home, a home that as of very recently was also the abode to two newly acquired foreign nin and the additional stress that had come with them.
The silence that had settled around his village made Gaara very glad of his earlier decision to pin Kankuro with the task of escorting the rampant Naruto around Suna.
The young Kazekage inhaled the crisp scent of the sweet night air. This was his favorite time of day. When he was a kid, the only thing he had to look forward to was the night. At night, he was never alone yet there was no one to call him a monster or reject him. He had the whole sky to look up to. The moon, the stars, they were all there with him. He always was amazed with the stars. They shined all the time. During the darkest of times, when the world seemed hopeless, the stars shined as some beacon of hope… even for the hopeless. They came back night after night, no matter how many times they lay witness to the terrible crimes against humanity he committed in hopes of verifying his own existence. They never needed verification. They just were.
The moon also infatuated him. The moon, the center of all night time life, was actually a bleak wasteland… compared to the sun's vibrant rays. It was a planet, not even a planet, a rock doomed to orbit about other planets but remain in its isolation, that stayed inaccessible and untouched by any warmth, billions upon billions of miles away from any other star.
While lost in his musings, Gaara's feet kicked into automatic gear and guided his way home. He didn't notice he had reached his destination until he walked into the wall next to the door… face first.
"Shit!" he muttered darkly, while rubbing his now sore nose and reaching for the door knob.
As he opened the door, his sore and now throbbing nose met a very pleasant smell. 'There is no way in the seven rings of hell that smell is Temari's cooking.'
The walls and ceilings of the mansion were creamy beige, the tile floors remaining bare of any rugs that would insulate and keep the oppressive heat trapped in the house. The mansion consisted of, surprisingly, only three floors, including the attic that no one dared to enter, even the Kazekage himself.
As one walked into the high ceiling mansion, there was a small hallway that at the right side, after a short time, opened up to the kitchen and to the left was the very wide staircase. Next to the kitchen opened up the living room, which connected, to the right, the sun room. There was a door in the sun room that led into the courtyard. The courtyard consisted of a training ground and a small green house that housed a bunch of dead plants withering away, much thanks to Temari.
After hooking his overcoat onto a hook near the door, Gaara continued silently into his home. Kankuro was seated lazily on the couch in the living room, with the remote at hand. The living room consisted of a red sofa with two burgundy chairs on the sides, a small tan coffee table, and a nice sized TV sitting on a chest in front of a huge window that showed the courtyard. Naruto was seated on one of the chairs, watching TV along with the lazy cat eared Sand nin.
Gaara resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the sight of one of Suna's prestigious shinobi and turned his attention to the source of the delightful aroma that was curling around him and teasing his senses, prompting a rumble from deep within his stomach.
In the kitchen stood the three kunoichi, Sakura stirring a pot on the stove, Arina chopping vegetables while keeping an eye on Temari to make sure the Sand Kunoichi didn't accidentally poison or blow anything up as she sprinkled some spices into a small pot also on the stove.
Temari's cooking was well known in the Sabaku mansion as nothing short of mutant. The number one motto in the Kazekage mansion, when Arina wasn't around anyhow as the medic nin was pretty adequate with the preparation of edible food, was "Eat your food or be eaten by it." Temari's concoctions often would growl and bite at any unsuspecting victim to come across its wrath…
In the kitchen, there was a marble island with the sink, and cabinets under it on the inner side. Behind the island was a marble counter that housed the oven, stove, and more cabinets above it. The black refrigerator was at the very right and at the left was another marble counter that acted as some sort of closer from the kitchen and the living room. To the right was a short hall that led to a dining room with a rather large window overlooking the front of the mansion. The dining room was furnished with a dining table and various fake plants one would see in the desert sitting in the corner or on a table or in a vase.
"Gaara, you're home," Arina acknowledged, looking up from the vegetables she was chopping. Sakura also looked up from her pot, and Godaime Hokage's apprentice smiled with a small, warm greeting of her own. Temari just ignored her younger brother's presence and tried to help Arina, only to be swatted by a glove clad hand. Arina threw the vegetables into Sakura's pot and walked around the counter to the opening on his left. Just before reaching Gaara, Arina turned around sharply and pointed to Temari and hissed "Touch nothing," She gave Sakura a "Watch her" look, which Sakura nodded to with a short giggle, and turned back to Gaara.
"Gaara, can I talk to you?" Arina asked, motioning to the entrance hall.
'Do I have a choice?' Gaara said in his monotone in his mind.
'Come to think of it… no.' Gaara grunted indignantly as the white-eyed sand Kunoichi dragged him into the hall. "So how are you going to handle this?"
The eyebrow-less Kazekage simply raised an invisible, aforementioned non-existent eyebrow and replied, "To what are you referring?"
White eyes rolled at him, causing his left eye to give the slightest of twitches in irritation, "C'mon, Gaara, it's so obvious it's painful, especially with the way you choked up in your office earlier. You need some lessons in humanity and we've found just the person to administer them."
"What in Satan's rings are you talking about," scoffed the Kazekage rhetorically, pinning his right hand nin with one of the most scolding glares she had witnessed on him other than on the battlefield.
Arina just sighed heavily, only to be interrupted by Temari's booming voice from the kitchen, "Dinner is ready!"
Pinning with him with yet another look that promised a continuation of their discussion at a later time, Arina sauntered into the dining room, only to see the table was already set beautifully. There was a red table cloth placed on the wood with pearl white plates, matching pearl colored silver wear, clear glasses with a pearl ring on the top and red napkins folded neatly in front of all five places. The puzzled black haired sand kunoichi walked back into the kitchen, asking, "Who set the dining room table?"
"Sakura did," Temari replied with a smirk, "She went digging around the cabinets and found some decent looking silverware."
"Hn," Arina grunted as she pulled out some serving utensils, "I wonder why we never saw them before."
"They were probably out of reach because of all the bipolar freaks in this house." Gaara muttered in a tone he thought to be inaudible, but clearly was as the comment earned him three respective glares from Temari, Kankuro, and Arina and a soft, muffled giggle. His gaze left the floor to pinpoint the origin of the giggle and landed on the visiting medic, standing behind the counter with a hand covering her lips. Gaara studied the mirth in her emerald eyes intently.
It was light that he saw, something he could only liken to the light emitted from the sun at high noon. It was oppressive, almost too much for him to take as it assaulted his weary senses as if he had spent days in the harsh barren desert. His head cocked as he continued staring, considering that perhaps it wasn't heat that pooled in those orbs but just illumination, light and airy. Refreshing and replenishing.
He existed isolated, solely without any such replenishment or light to feast on, without any love, and such was his damnation – a fate he had been readily able to accept in the earlier years of his life, but now such destiny proved to frighten him to the very core, shaking everything he had worked for and causing him to question his very own existence. She would never shine her light upon him, it was foolish to dream such things.
The dark musings bouncing around his mind were cut to an abrupt and screeching halt as Naruto materialized before him, prodding and poking him while whining, "Let's go eaaaat I'm hungry!"
Gaara grunted, smacking Naruto's hand dismissively as he breezed past him and into the dining room, where an impressive array of food greeted his suddenly reignited hunger.
Gaara sighed for the umpteenth time and entered his room.
He opened his door to reveal his barely used canopy bed with burgundy and maroon bed spread and pillows adorning it casually pushed up against the far right wall. To the left and side was his drawers were he kept all his casual clothes and where his wardrobe and closet were where his Kazekage robes and training robes were. To the right was a wide window where he undoubtedly made his many escapes during the night to the roof and such, and on both sides of that window were book selves housing many books that always infatuated him, be them books about history to shinobi arts.
The Kazekage happily discarded the entirety of his formal robes and changed into his normal tan and brown ones. He walked up to his window and peered out into the extremely dull light. The stars were just appearing and the moon's light was cascading down upon his village. The Kazekage took a random book off his shelf and sat down on his bed, crossing his legs. He read for about an hour and a half about, ironically, medical jutsu. He read half book, which all together was about 300 pages, and returned it to its place on his shelf.
Gaara decided now was a good time to go out on the roof and admire the night, as he had nothing better to do as his paper work he had brought home could wait – after all, he had all the time he needed, not sleeping and all.
The tankui vessel jumped onto the window sill in a crouching position, and then leaped up on the roof by pushing chakra into his feet and legs. He sighed very softly as he looked down to what he could see of his village from his position on the roof.
Looking up at the sky, his thoughts once again turned to the pink-haired, Konoha medic-nin. He again turned his thoughts to her metaphoric resemblance to the sun and his to the moon. The stars seemed to be everyone else, those who still avoided him and his ever present loneliness. So deep in his new revelation of thoughts, he failed to notice the presence of someone else until it was right next to him and talking.
"Beautiful night, isn't it?" Sakura asked, breathing in the crisp, desert night air.
Gaara side glanced over to her, berating himself for being so lost within his own mind he had not noticed her presence before. Such lapses of guard would have proved to be the death of him in his earlier years and was unbefitting of a Kage. He took in the sight of her face. The moon's light shown down on her pale face, illuminating her already delicate features. Her emerald eyes seemed to be a shade lighter, almost matching his sea like jade. The girl's unique colored hair brushed lightly against her shoulders and the nape of her neck in the light breeze of the desert air. The small content smile on her lips brightened her expression slightly, making him wonder what she was so content about, considering her position, being on the roof in the middle of the night with a demon.
"Yeah," he grunted in agreement with a curt nod.
'Well that was just about the most intelligent thing you've ever said.' Shukaku cooed sarcastically, swishing his mighty tail about him with a snort.
On the other hand, Sakura thought oppositely. 'That was more than I was expecting. I figured he'd just say 'Hn''
'Yeah, he's the talkative one.'Inner Sakura replied sarcastically.
"What are you doing up this time of night? Are you not tired from today?" He asked, surprisingly breaking the short silence.
Sakura gave a little shrug, "After training with Tsunade I have to have good stamina, or else I would not have survived."
Gaara nodded slightly, but remained silent otherwise. He was fighting with himself. To talk and embarrass himself or to stay silent and let the silence become awkward?
Thankfully, the kunoichi seemed to have a knack for being in the company of individuals like the laconic Kazekage and started up her own conversation, "The night is so peaceful here in Suna. There are so many more stars than Konoha. And the moon… wow… it's just gorgeous." She looked at him with a warm smile. Gaara's face was passive, but peaceful, and his jade eyes were staring out into the sky. His long strands of red hair fell onto his forehead, contrasting against his pale, almost ivory skin, which, she noticed, had recovered in its hue from the earlier unhealthiness with which it had seemed to be painted, and almost into his eyes, but the infamous kanji scar on his head was still showing, a proud display of his past faults and current flaws. His arms were crossed over his chest in the familiar position, and his look bordered one of the powerful shinobi the Kazekage was, and the calm, complex person Gaara was.
"Do you ever think… the moon is lonely?" His question was blunt; she blinked several times before finding a response in the swirling mass of thoughts in her mind.
Gaara was just too shocked at himself for actually voicing that question to notice how carefully she was considering his question.
"No," her reply woke him from his shock, and gained his attention. "The moon… is surrounded by the stars, it's never lonely."
"It may be but the stars avoid it… they are all so far away, it can't be that beautiful. And what of the sun? It so clearly outshines the moon, making it so dark, isolated, ominous." He still couldn't figure out why he was voicing his thoughts, but found himself waiting anxiously for her response.
"Hm, on the contrary, I think anyway, the sun gives the moon light. It doesn't make it dark; it gives the moon its beauty. But the moon naturally has its own beauty, too." Sakura responded, adding the last bit as a sort of afterthought, and continued staring at her incredulously. The completely contradictory idea had never occurred to him, sending his thoughts swirling into a frenzy as his mind attempted to hammer out thoroughly and understand the implications behind her words.
"But, the sun gives everything life… it gives the moon its light, too… How would the moon be beautiful? It has no purpose," Gaara responded quietly, glassy eyes now fixed on a point far off into the barren desert surrounding the village walls.
"True, but the moon's beauty is more, I guess, unique because it doesn't have its own light." Sakura replied, her gaze settled to his face. She studied it for any emotion… emotion that would be the gateway to his thoughts and would help her understand the changed, brooding man that stood next to her.
"Also," she added quickly as the thought struck her, "the moon does depend on the sun but it gives light to what the sun can't. The sun's light isn't there in the darkest of times, the moon is. For me, the moon and stars give hope and faith when there isn't any left."
Gaara found himself to be pleasantly surprised with the similarity between his own notion of hope and her statement about it.
"You don't think the moon could represent darkness? Or perhaps even be sinister?" Gaara loathed how weakly his voice pushed from between his lips, cursing his weakness.
"No, not at all! I'll admit, though, when I think of the moon, I think of mysteries, of enigmas I'll never solve and that were never meant to be solved." Sakura said, looking more intently at his face now.
Gaara actually met her gaze, despite all his previous evasive actions, and looked at her curiously. Never did someone talk to him as much as she did, well, in the topic they were discussing. Sure people talk to him all the time, discussions with numerous people were part of the job description… but Sakura was telling him her thoughts. And, shockingly, he was telling her his, as well. His thoughts were only confided in those closest to him. Temari, Naruto, and, when he wasn't being a moron, Kankuro only knew his thoughts. Now he was confiding, even if the topic was just about the moon and in truth she was doing most of the talking, his thoughts to her and they were having a discussion about it. Right then and there, in the middle of the night on his roof, none the less.
Sakura must have taken his stare as one of disbelief or skepticism because she said in finality, "The moon is a symbol of hope and strength, it commands the sea and it defines the night. It really is beautiful. Think about it," then, she turned to face him fully, "Good night." The Konoha kunoichi whispered, briefly placing her hand on his shoulder, before walking off in the opposite direction and jumping down on the window sill of her and Arina's room on the other side of the house, in the front.
The, now stunned, Kazekage remained on the roof, mouth slightly opened, unmoving. Her touch was brief, but it showed something. Perhaps maybe the light hidden in her eyes that surfaced when she was amused was not oppressive, but instead a more comforting warmth that wasn't so bad once it travelled down the length of him and settled evenly in his bones.
Tenderness, acceptance, friendship.
Gaara now knew, by that simple gesture, she was completely comfortable with him. She didn't fear him, who had tried to kill her and both her closet friends those years ago.
The Kazekage sighed.
'Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day…'He thought and then jumped back into the window of his room. Sitting on the bed in his mediating position, the last stray thought to cross his mind before his mind focused on the haven that was meditation, 'Friendship…'
Go forth and Review.
