I spent my summer like all the others gone to pass; hanging out with the buds at the beach by my parent's holiday home, while sun, smiles, and suntans painted the exterior of my being. Yet, even to the un-humanly keen senses of my friends, they failed to see the storm brewing in my sole.

I know how un-Potter sounding of me. But the only way to translate these crazy fits of thought is threw a filter of a bubbly teen girl. Let me go back to where my madness began:

It all started one night on the beach, roasting marshmallows and chatting away about ManStuff (ya know, chicks, quidditch, fast brooms, chicks, next year's pranks, chicks….) When the conversation when to the classic game of "Which Witch Would You Bang."

"All right Wormtail", Sirius said with a wink, "Tracy Stein or Martha McOrdel?"

"Ohhhhhh!" the group jeered. Both of the two choices were obviously traps. No male in his right mind would touch neither girl with a ten foot pole let alone shag them.

"I'm not going to answer that one!" squeaked Peter.

"Ya hav-ta Pete, it's the way it goes", Padfoot looked like he was enjoying the pained expression on his friends face as he glared at him waiting for an answer.

"Come on, just name one off", sighed Remus, "He's not going to let you off until you do."

"Fine!", Peter took in a sharp breath,"IguessitsStein."

We all burst into side splitting laughter. "I can't believe you! Stein, STEIN!", I gasped unable to utter anything coherent after that.

After about three minutes Pete angry voice split threw our laughter,"Allrightey Prongs, you're the next victim."

Threw giggles I replied sarcastically, "Do your worst Pete."

"FINE!,uuuh…ummm"

"What's the matter brain block?", chuckled Padfoot.

"NO! Uhhh, Prongs, Which witch would who bang? Narcissa Black o-"

This time I couldn't hold back "Bellatrix? Really Wormy? You want Sirius to come after you for talking about his lovely cousins like that?"

"Wormtail, that really is low", hissed Sirius.

"What makes you think I was going to say Bellatrix!", spurt Peter.

"Well…", I cooed.

"Your wrong James", said Peter with an arrogant confidence that I never heard him use. "Prongs, which witch would you bang; Narcissa Black or Severus Snape?"

We all sat there dead silent in the warm summer night. What the hell was he thinking? What kind of a question is that? I wanted to voice all of that and much more, choice, words to him. Yet I could not find my voice and instead we sat in silence until Wormtail piped up.

"Well, James the Great One? Who will it be?"

"I don't believe that is a valid question." said Remus coolly "Witch implies female where as Snape is clearly male."

"Well not according to James. You hear him mock that git for his slim figure and lady hands."

For the first time in my life (and probably not my last) my own words were coming back to bite me on the ass. Peter was right I had said those things….but….to use them on me at a time like this. Think, think, think, Gawd! I didn't know what I could come back with, Pete clearly saw the defeat in my eyes and triumph caused the corners of his mouth to turn up to a smirk. No, I would not lose in anything, to anyone, not even a friend in a petty game. Time for some Potter charm reversal.

"You know what Pete, I think your right." I began. His smile fell, "What?"

"I said I think your right, he is quite the femine figure, if you allow me to say Sirius, it's daintier than your cousins!"

With that Sirius was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. The three of them were too caught up in there laughter I believe they barely noticed my forced shakey laughter.

I did not expect to have my emotions surged like that in front of them. I had been thinking about Snape sense the last day of classes. They were my normal planes, pranks for next year but lately I find my mind slipping into a dark frightenly sensual realm. It scares me to realize after having spent a period of time daydreaming, that no matter how hard I try to invision anyone else in his place I can't.

My friends worried faces snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You ok Prongs?"

"I'm fine Monny, just tired is all."

We all decided to lie out in the sand underneath the stars that night. Staring into the twinkling night sky drifted me back into the dark realm where I was gazing into dark eyes sparkling with fresh tears as I leaned down to kiss them away.