Hey guys! Thank you for all the reviews! as always, love reading them. This update took longer than expected, I changed the chapter like three times i think..?
Anyway, as for those who want Haruhi and Kagome friends...well...maybe, I mean, I want to try and make this a bit realistic and with Kagome being all the way she is, I doubt she would open up so fast...the best of things takes time right, and considering she's half mad- well yeahh...you get the point, lol
Enjoy the chapter!
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Absurd. Incredulous. Absolutely pathetic. You should rip of her head for grating on your nerves for this long.
I'd say it was your nerves being grated on- not mine.
You are amused by this? Where is your bloodlust, Kagome? Where have all those thoughts of having her writhe to your bidding gone to?
Clearly you have missed the point of my bloodlust, Naraku. What use is blood when the person itself isn't retaliating, I shot back without missing a second. Naraku had been ranting since it happened. True, it did catch me off guard. True, I was partially annoyed. But really, the most of fun in this game of cat and mousse is played at best when the other party is up for a chase. Wasn't that the highlight? Apart from the feel of their crimsons, but to have their screams hum through your body was sadistic satisfaction. And yes, I was amused. I wasn't fully aggravated that I was denied what I had sought out, but it did have a bright side.
Being part of the host club, a girl at that, Haruhi might hold a place in their 'prince' like heart. Does it not make your blood boil when you could play with their little toy, have her lead you right into the very hearts of her beloved hosts and then at one moment, one sudden moment, strike them down?
I do not like where this is going, Kagome. Kill her when you have the chance. She will get in the way.
That is the point, is it not? Use her, torture her, and make the others watch. And when hatred begins its taint, I will have my fill. It puts up more of a challenge to have them fight against me. You should understand. You did it once.
That is not the point! You are a fool!
So I have been told…I will hear no more of this, Naraku.
I will leave for now, but be warned Kagome, this plan of yours will be your downfall- I will not hesitate to devour you!
Honestly, I did not doubt that Naraku will, one day, swallow me fully into the darkness. And when that happened, maybe I could crawl back into my pitch black, fabled world and just pretend everything away. I was good at pretending. I was good at playing ignorant. It was better than this twisted reality. There were no more sparks left in me. Colour had faded from my world. And nothing lasted long enough to give me the littlest of hope. Everything just fell. Everyone fell. There was nothing for me to hold on to, or look forward to, because in the end, the result will be the same, I will be alone. But then there is Sesshomaru. He was the smart one. The perfection. So why couldn't he understand that soon, he will slip away leaving nothing unchanged?
Hauling Haruhi further up on my shoulder, I grimaced. Her school shirt had ridden up having her warm skin pressed up against my cheek and neck. She was everything I used to be. Warm, innocent, naive, caring…and I lost it all when Inuyasha decided to fight me for the jewel along with Sango- maybe even before that, right when the queen of walking clays made its glorious appearance. Nonetheless, under the circumstances of being immortal, I vouched for darkness. It shadows you, hides you, lets you relish in your moments and makes sure no one gets in. It's a whole new world where I can just…let go. Be nothing. Be no one. Just Kagome. The lost soul.
Shaking my head of any thoughts, I opened one of the guest rooms that had been prepared and quickly walked in. With little effort, I threw Haruhi onto the bed not caring if the bounce against the bed might land her in an awkward position and, maybe, snap her neck. I looked over her sprawled body across the bed and frowned. Pity. She seemed fine and unhurt. Some pain was welcomed; she did pass out on me and made me carry her all the way here. Was her fear of storms that deep that she would scare herself into unconsciousness? So fragile. You could just snap her in two. Twist her limbs till it ripped.
I scoffed. "Pray that I may not be too lost in my lust when you wake, Haruhi, for you will be the first to go." I whispered sweeping my eyes through her motionless form. She really did remind me of what I used to have. Shifting my eyes to the mirror placed not too far away, I stared back at my reflection when lightening struck.
I lost my tanned flesh. I was pale as the moon- unearthly. My hair darker, blacker than what it used to be. My cerulean hues had dulled, almost grey. My lips were bled with immortality. My body was fuller. And the woman in the mirror was not Kagome. Kagome was still hiding in the comfort of darkness. This- who was this? Who had the once high spirited girl become? Because the reflection reflected something else. Maybe, if I wait in my high chair of sardonic insecurities, the mirror will paint a more familiar picture for me.
I chuckled at my own thoughts. I was over the edge of insanity, but did I really have to humour myself into thinking like one so willingly? How sad.
The loud smack of palm against the wooden door had me whirling around to face an odd sight. The eccentric host founder had lost his playfulness, the brightness that glowed around his form and all unusual antics were gone. He was replaced by a serious and concerned man, anger itching at the edge of his fleeting expressions as he glared at me with eyes that could recognize neither friend nor foe. I wondered. What was I considered? Foe? Or friend? Cause I certainly was not so lenient to let them fall through the grasp of my claws.
Tamaki blinked, realisation soothing in. He shifted his intense gaze from Haruhi's sleeping body to my own. And then, it softened.
"Ah, sorry about that, I didn't mean to startle you." Even his speech had changed. He sure was balanced out well. Was this his true form? Leaving the crazed host as a façade, wanting to fool everyone around him into thinking he was no lost child- he was not drowned in all the riches and the responsibility of his status and name? Could he have a dark secret too? If I deducted right, he would be no different from who I was, who I was made. It got me thinking, what if the others had something so similar?
Ahh, the plot thickens.
"Calm yourself, she is fine, though frightened, but she will sleep it off." Tamaki cast a suspicious glance towards the curtained window, narrowing his eyes when lightening flashed and the roaring trees shadowed across the window. His fear for Haruhi was well noted for future use.
Running a hand through his lock, he relaxed slightly, chuckling. "I was supposed to be there for her, protect her, but…." He trailed off with a guilty conscious.
My lips thinned
Must everyone pull on a trigger into my past? It was all wrong. The similarities or words, or actions, it was all wrong!
Inuyasha…he was supposed to be there for me. Even after all the failed protections he had thrown on me, I still followed him, believed in him, carried my heart into the hems of my uniform sleeves, only to have it torn and spat on. Sango was no better. She was supposed to be there for me as a friend, as a sister, not frolicking behind my back with the hanyou who ruled my once beating heart. It was too much.
Suddenly, I felt as if keeping them here was a mistake. If he and Haruhi brought back memories, if Honey and Mori struck a cord, the twins could do worse and not to mention Kyouya- what kind of hold would he represent in my bleeding memoirs?
I faltered. Tamaki got the one second chance to meet a broken soul before it was back to me who could barely protect herself from measly words.
"Are…are you okay?" He asked.
My head dipped low as I hid the vicious snarl ripping silently through my lips. Where was the stupid, idiotic Tamaki? If anything, only that could snap me back into my sarcastic nature. I just needed one drop of his antics. One drop is all I needed and back would be the woman who strived for blood, for pain, for torture- back would be her and drown would the broken Kagome with its past. I lived in the past of death, their death, not in betrayal and what had been happy and good- those emotions I could not handle. So I shied into their death and filled myself with darkness.
Tamaki was quiet. His eyes were wide and held the curiosity of a newborn. I could only imagine what was going through his head. The composed, cold Kagome just flared her insecurities and uncertainties. Did he think I was flawless only to realise I was scared with nothing but that? Did he think I was porcelain doll needing to be fixed? He had a glimpse of what really lay beyond the mirage of falseness. What would he actually think? Fix me back together, treat me as a damsel, and shower me with praise and sweet nothings like he does with the yellow cattle? What was he really thinking?
Anxiety bottomed my stomach. Flashes of images burned my vision as I shut my eyes tight and tried to ignore what they all represented. I couldn't help but resent that.
"Kagome…"
Such weakness. Five hundred years, I should have been over it, locked it away, never to have it affecting me again. But here I am, cowering from it.
"Kagome…"
It was mocking me. Criticizing me. The moments we laughed, the moments we cherished, the moments we would never give up- it all played in my head and laughed at my face. Glowering at me with fraudulent kindness.
"Kagome…"
Karma sure was a bitch. Did the kami's favour these hosts so much they would fuck me up just because I wanted to taste them? Were they going to push me aside for these humans, who lived in all normality? Go against me, who sacrificed everything for these…these….
"Kagome!"
"Tamaki," I growled, shooing away the memories that leaked in. "Shut up."
"Wha-"
I looked up. He wasn't standing by the door no more. No, he was before me. So close to me, not even an arms length away. One move and our bodies would have met. One move and I could do anything I want.
And right now…I wanted to forget…
"Come here…" I whispered, my arms rising up to hook itself around his neck. When he made no move to step closer, I pulled him in. He gasped. His hands were placed firmly against my waist as he steadied his footing, not wanting to fall on me or step on my feet.
I sneered.
"You look really good tonight. The lightening illuminating your blonde hair, your soft, fair skin glowing under the flashes of light- you look good enough to eat." I trailed my lips against his cheeks, next to his ears, into his hair line before bringing it down to the corner of his lips. I could feel his chest rise up and down hastily. His breath falling fast and hard against my lips.
"It's so hard, Tamaki. This burning ache at the pit of my stomach, this need to take, I can't hold it in….I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep away the years. You understand, don't you? You understand…this…loneliness…don't you?" Sliding one arm down his, I latched my hands onto his and brought it between our pressed up bodies and placed it above my heart, dangerously hovering above my breast.
"Do you feel that, Tamaki?" I asked. "Nothing. There's nothing there. My heart is broken, Tamaki. My soul is taken. Will you bring it back?"
And I moaned. His hand around my waist wounded around me possessively. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. He was conflicted. Hesitation, confusion, concern, and my favourite- fear. What a lovely mix of emotions.
"Kagome I-"
"Shh…don't speak, don you dare speak," I hissed, raking my blunt teeth against his clothed shoulder. "I need to do this as fast as possible. I don't want to feel. If I feel…I lose…and then I will die, again and again. So don't speak, let me just…just…"
I trailed off, kissing up his neck and back up to his face. I licked his lips before moving to kiss the tip of his nose, and then his eyes, and by the time I reached his head, I was on my toes, my body trembling. I closed my eyes and pushed myself into him, mewling silently when his hold tightened more.
I opened my mouth and let all my power travel to my lips. His body jerked violently. He dug his face deep into my jugular and bit into my flesh as the pain wrecked through his head. Wisps of grey and blue flowed into his head, slowly, like a parasite, infecting everything it touched internally. I wanted him to feel what I felt. I wanted him to cry and scream for making me remember what was not to be remembered. I wanted him-
"Ka…Kagome…" it was broken, soft, but there. "What…are…yo-you…doing…?"
I pulled back on his hair with absolute harshness. He cringed, face contoured with pain. His eye lids closed and opened. His lips were a jar, breathing heavily. I continued to mix in our aura's, to have him experience what he cannot easily resolve through acts of princely duties. With a sudden hold on his neck, I kneed him in the stomach. Tamaki dropped to the ground, coughing a wheezing as he held his stomach. Crouching down before him. I muttered sweet nothings, telling him that what just happened didn't. Making up a cover story of how he caught me off guard and I kneed him in self defence. I laughed when he retaliated, going over the events, and I laughed even more before bringing his face closer and took his focus away from it all.
All just in time…
"There you are!" Turning towards the door, my eyes fell on the second blonde. "I found them! Yayy! I WIN! And Haru-chan and Tama-chan are here too!"
As if on cue, the door was blocked with the rest of the host club. I cocked my head in amusement, dallying in my playful façade as I tried hard to rid of the memories that began to fade back into nothingness. For once, I was glad Naraku wasn't there to rub salt into the wound, tease me just to spite some sort of sinister anger within me. Because at that moment, he had the perfect chance.
Turning slightly to hide the specks of blood that wept through the now healed bite mark, I moved my hair over my shoulder and shot them a pleased smile.
"It seems I had made a mistake today. I have dismissed my servants early- you would have to make do with my cooking for dinner."
Like the fool he was, Tamaki was on his feet and dancing around squealing about tasting 'Kagome's handmade food'. But all that was ignored. Everyone seemed to have faded from all of my senses leaving the one dubbed as the 'Shadow King' in my sight, in my hearing, in my touch- my scent spiked with revived hunger and arousal.
His scrutinized eyes fell onto my person and I shivered from the intensity of that one look. It wasn't provocative. No, that was not what got me. What got me was how it darkened with want- need to have me figured out, to know everything. He hungered for knowledge. And I hungered for what he had to offer- emotionally, mentally, and physically. The dimmed hues of the hallway lights didn't help ease my elevating need.
It truly irked me.
"RAWR!"
I suppose it was to be expected to happen anytime soon. They had openly planned it. But, I didn't know if being snapped out of my reverie is such a piteous manner was worth the attention I should invest in their…games.
Tamaki blocked my clear, direct vision of the purple-hued host with his looming body, raised arms to form the dangers of claws and mouth wide open with fangs popping out as if ready to take its bite. Where they got all the props was a wonder indeed, maybe it would be the only host abilities I would never be able to decipher, but it didn't change the situation any less. Tamaki was still standing over me with a now faltering look of sheer horror and shrank back to its loving corner when the twins erupted in equal laughter.
Unwanted feelings were obliterating, but not forgotten. I was still feeling the burn of mistake in having them stay the night. But with their play to find what scared me, I could only hope I would not be delved into another episode of my breakdown, and possibly, blinded murder.
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Haruhi is safe for now...haha, stay in tune for a lighter, more laid back sorta chapter (maybe..)! Its time to scare Kagome!
Please review! lol
