A.N/ Disclaimer ~ I am not Dan Schneider. I do not own the Victorious characters.
The Power of a Song.
Chapter 2
Tori was watching some daft sitcom when she heard a car pull up onto the drive, Trina was dancing around the kitchen with her headphones in screeching along to Kesha's latest song. The knock at the door was tentative and Tori peeled herself off the sofa to go and answer it. As she pulled it open and saw Jade standing on the other side of it she was rather shocked. She certainly hadn't expected her to respond to her olive branch so quickly. Jade was just standing there looking at her and she realised she was doing the same. "Come in," Tori took a step backwards and gestured towards the sofa. Jade nodded and walked past her, she didn't sit down though, just stood there looking at Trina with a mixture of horror and amusement. "Maybe we should go upstairs instead!" Tori headed towards the stairs and as she turned to look over her shoulder she saw Jade was quietly following her. She was suddenly aware of how surreal this situation was. She had felt sorry for Jade, felt this need to do something to help her but in reality she realised she hadn't actually expected her to accept the offer. She was glad she had, this was just uncharted territory and she wasn't sure what to expect.
Jade silently followed Tori into her room, she'd been in their before, although without invitation last time, she smiled slightly at this memory. Now she was here she wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to do, or what she actually wanted from Tori. Maybe this had been a mistake. Tori sat on her bed and patted the space next to her, Jade plonked herself down and lowered her head. "Soo," Tori said in a pitch that was unnaturally high. "Hmmm," Jade replied awkwardly. She looked up at Tori, "Listen, thanks for the cd, I…I appreciate the thought," Jade still wasn't sure this was a good idea. Tori smiled at her softly, "it's ok, do you want to talk…or just watch a movie or something?" Jade considered the options for a second, "A movie sounds good," baby steps, she thought. She wasn't quite ready to trust Tori with the inner workings of her messed up mind.
Tori grinned and went over to her dvd collection, this was less painful than she'd expected. She scanned the titles looking for something funny but not really romantic, she settled for St. Trinian's and popped it into the player, she grabbed the remote and jumped back on the bed, she shuffled up to rest against the pillows and gently pulled Jade's arm to get her to join her.
Jade tentatively shuffled up the bed until she was level with Tori, well this was weird. She turned her head slightly to look at the girl sat just a few inches from her, she was kind and sweet really, Jade had always thought that about her and it irritated her immensely but she didn't know why. Whatever, she was glad of that kindness now.
As the film neared the half-way mark Tori turned to Jade, "Do you want a drink and something to eat?" Jade had been completely silent since the film started and although it hadn't been a particularly uncomfortable silence, Tori still wanted to break it. "A coffee would be good, thanks," she replied with a half-smile. Tori paused the film and slid off the bed, "Sugar?" At this Jade's smile widened "Three please." Tori laughed "Okay." Who knew Jade would have such a sweet tooth. She was still smiling about that one as she headed down to the kitchen.
Jade sat forward and pulled her knees to her chest, that permanent dull ache was still in there but at least she wasn't lying by herself sobbing. She slowly looked around Tori's room remembering the first time she'd been in there. It had been exactly what she'd expected, a pale shade of lilac colouring the walls, heart shaped lights surrounding the mirror on the dressing table. A large photo montage of family and friends hung on one wall and posters of various pop stars graced another. Her double bed had more of the same lights threaded through the white metal rim of the headboard and her bedding was a deeper shade of lilac with a girly butterfly design on it. It couldn't have been more different from Jade's room, however, they both seemed to share a need for neatness and order that almost bordered on o.c.d. The décor definitely suited Tori and it was nowhere near as bad as the gaudy over the top cotton candy theme of Cat's room. Jade always felt like her eyeballs had been assaulted when she'd been around there. She could hear footsteps coming up the stairs and as she looked up towards the door, she couldn't help laughing at Tori trying to balance two cups in one hand, a couple of bars of chocolate in the other and a bag of popcorn between her teeth. Jade swung herself off the bed and carefully removed the cups from Tori's hand. Tori took the bag of popcorn from her mouth, "Thanks, yours is the one on the right." "Okay." Jade placed the cups on the bedside cabinet being careful not to mix them up, then got back on the bed.
As Tori, shuffled herself up the bed she realised the gap between her and Jade wasn't there any more, their arms were meeting now, she expected Jade to shift herself across the bed away from her but to her surprise she didn't. She pulled the bag of popcorn open and leant it in the slight gap between their thighs and passed a chocolate bar to Jade. Jade took it and handed Tori her drink. As she clicked the play button on the remote, Tori turned to look at Jade and a wide smile spread across her face. If someone had suggested a week ago that she would be sat happily watching a film with Jade West she'd have laughed at them but here they were never the less and Tori had to admit it was nice. She loved Cat to bits but she was hard work at times, more like having a baby sister than a friend. Jade had a sharp tongue yes but she also had a sharp mind too, she was clever and witty, maybe a little too sarcastic at times but Tori knew the main reason that bothered her was because it was more often than not aimed at her. When it was Sinjin, Robbie or Rex in the firing line she frequently had to stifle a giggle. She wasn't sure whether this would be a onetime deal but she would make the most of it while it was happening.
Jade started sipping her coffee; she was aware of Tori looking at her but kept her gaze directed at the television. The bar of chocolate that Tori had just given her lay on her lap, she'd barely eaten for days, the constant churning in her stomach driving any hunger pangs away but she put the cup down, picked up the chocolate and unwrapped it slowly. She stared at it for a moment before she snapped a piece off and nibbled at it. "I bet you've not been eating properly, I mean you disappear at lunchtimes and I'm fairly sure you aren't going to fetch food." Tori's voice was inquisitive but it was a statement rather than a question. Jade looked up, "I just…can't…" Tori nodded, signalling she understood. "You can still come and sit with us you know, you don't have to keep going out." Jade felt the tears bubbling beneath her eyelids, her breathing becoming more rapid. Tori put her cup down on the chest of drawers next to her, moved the bag of popcorn and swung herself up onto her knees to face Jade, "I'm sorry Jade, I really didn't mean to upset you," her tone was genuinely apologetic and this just made Jade worse. "I can't look at him Tori, it just hurts too much."
The tears were spilling over now, dripping down Jade's face and as Tori looked at her she couldn't help thinking she looked like she was crying diamonds. She'd always thought Jade was pretty but looking at her now, really looking at her, with her walls down, vulnerable, she felt like she was seeing her soul and she was truly beautiful. She didn't even debate whether Jade would want her to hold her; she just reached forward and pulled her in towards her.
Jade felt Tori wrapping her arms around her and she didn't resist, instead she returned the gesture. She buried her head in Tori's shoulder and broke down. She could feel Tori tighten her hold and start to stroke her hair with one hand and she was grateful. All of her usual 'anti-Tori' feelings were gone, she had been so lost, so alone and she knew she would never forget the kindness she was showing her tonight.
Tori didn't know how long they stayed there like that but the film had finished by the time they parted. "I'm sorry," Jade said softly as she wiped her face with her hands. Tori leaned over and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the drawers. "Don't be," she said as she gently wiped Jade's face. "I should go," Jade started to get up but Tori grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. "No, you're not driving in that state and besides it's not late," she glanced over her shoulder at the butterfly shaped clock that hung above her dressing table, "it's only 8 o'clock and we missed the end of the film." She smiled and picked up the remote. Jade didn't argue she just pulled herself back up onto the bed and got comfy. Tori forwarded the film to where they were before and set it off again. Without really giving it any thought she wrapped her arm around Jade's shoulder and with the same amount of inattention Jade leaned into Tori and rested her head on hers.
The film finished and Jade sat up, Tori followed suit. "I'd really better go now," Jade stood up and adjusted her still slightly damp top. "Okay," Tori didn't want to push it, it still wasn't all that late but she was aware this must have been very hard for Jade. She saw her out to her car, "See you tomorrow." "Yeah," Jade looked down at the steering wheel, "Thank you for tonight." Tori smiled, "anytime," and she really meant it. Underneath the façade there was a very likeable Jade dwelling and although Tori had seen glimmers of her before, tonight she had met her properly and she wasn't going to let her disappear again. As Jade pulled off the driveway, she got her phone out of her pocket and rang Robbie, she didn't want Jade to spend another lunchtime alone and if that meant getting Robbie to find something to distract Beck with tomorrow then so be it.
The lights were on as Jade arrived home, well she'd known she'd have to face her Mom at some point, might as well be now. She walked in and saw her Mom sat at the kitchen table with paperwork spread out in front of her, she glanced up at Jade, "In again?" her tone was cold and flat as always. "Yes." Jade mirrored her mother's blank tone. "Is this going to be a regular occurrence?" Her Mom's head was already buried back in her paperwork. "Probably," Jade turned and walked away, she knew there would be no further interaction, her Mom had the information she required so that would be it. She went to go straight upstairs but then stopped; a strange feeling was brewing inside her, one she couldn't quite get her head around. She went to the living room door and just popped her head in, Aiden was sat watching television, "Hey." He turned to look at her and smiled, "Hi Jade." She smiled back, "I just wanted to say goodnight." Aiden grinned widely, "Okay, goodnight then." Jade climbed the stairs, feeling slightly lighter than she had for the past few days. She walked into her room, pressed play on her stereo and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She hadn't heard the text message arrive; the alert had probably been drowned out by the music coming from her car's radio. She opened the text, it was from Tori and simply said "I'm here!" Jade smiled and hit her back with, "Thank you." She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. She'd barely slept or eaten for three days now and the near constant crying had taken its toll too. She pulled on the tank top and shorts combo she favoured for bed again now, brushed her teeth, combed her hair through and climbed into bed. The photograph was, as always, a harsh reminder of what she'd lost. The sadness hit her like a tidal wave but with the song Tori had given her playing on repeat in the background, she was also reminded that she was no longer in this alone. She rolled over to face away from the picture, opened the text again and stared at the screen. Never before had those two little words been more significant to her.
Tori awoke to silence, it was unusual for her to not need her alarm, she loved her bed and loved to sleep, long lie-ins were one of the things she looked forward to of a weekend. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and noticed the pillows on the other side of the bed were still propped up where Jade had sat against them the night before. She reached for her phone and opened the text Jade had sent her again, "Thank you." If the evidence hadn't been there in front of her, she would have thought she'd been dreaming. Having now seen the Jade from last night, she understood why Beck had been with her so long. That must surely be the version he got when they were alone. What she was now struggling with though was if he knew that Jade was really that vulnerable, how he could have done what he did the other night? She'd had an uneasy feeling over it anyway but now it seemed even crueller somehow. She typed out a text and pressed send. She lay there for a minute debating whether to try and go back to sleep or not but decided as she was already awake, she may as well get up and ready.
Jade peered at her clock, 6.12am; she blinked and rubbed her eyes. She was used to waking before her alarm, when she was at Beck's she would always just lay there looking at him, watching him sleep. Those were the moments she would feel like her heart might burst. She loved him so much it consumed her. She got up and jumped in the shower. When she came out she could see the red light on her phone flickering, she picked it up and clicked the little envelope symbol, it was Tori again. She smiled to herself, that girl was definitely true to her word, she'd give her that. 'Morning, did you get any sleep?' Jade sat on the edge of her bed, her wet hair dripping onto the duvet, she fired off a reply, 'Morning, yeah, thanks, more than I have been. You ok?' She looked at the text she had just sent and shook her head, her, asking Tori Vega if she was ok? It was official, she had gone through the back of the wardrobe and wound up in Narnia! She dropped her phone on the bed and went to finish getting ready.
Tori was sat on the sofa, eating her toast when Jade's text popped up, she had to read it several times before she could take it in. Jade was asking her if she was ok? Well, that was unexpected. In her distraction she hadn't noticed Trina leaning over the back of the sofa and pinching her toast until it was too late, Tori glared at her but turned her attention back to her phone. 'Yes, I'm ok thank you apart from having the most irritating sister on the entire planet. ' She really didn't want a lift off Trina this morning, she would ring Andre, he would come and save her.
Jade was ready and in the kitchen by half 7, her Mom's briefcase, was on the kitchen table, with the paperwork she had been doing the night before stacked on top of it. A smile crept across Jade's face as she thought of how much stress she could cause her mother if she 'accidently' spilt coffee on it. She would never actually do it but the thought amused her. She could hear the shower running in her Mom's bathroom so knew she was safe to grab a quick drink before she left today. Aiden was clomping about upstairs still. Jade leaned back against the counter top, sipping her coffee, thinking. They weren't a family; they were so far beyond the realms of dysfunctional it was unreal. There was no doubt in her mind that once she had left home contact with her mother would at best be a once a year Thanksgiving or Christmas event, although saying that she'd spent the last two of these holidays with Beck and his family. As another thud resonated through the ceiling above her she turned her thoughts to Aiden, last night sat in the living room, while her Mom was working in the kitchen, at school until at least 6pm every day, left with babysitters nearly every weekend, were things really much different for him than they were for her anymore? She'd barely been around for this past year so she had no idea what life was like for him now, one thing she did know though was that his face had lit up just from her saying goodnight to him and that couldn't be a good sign. She finished her coffee and placed the cup in the dishwasher. She grabbed her bag and was about to head out of the door when that strange feeling gripped her again. She picked up a glass, filled it with orange juice and placed it on the table, next to it she added a bowl, the cereal and a jug of milk, "Aiden!" She yelled up the stairs. "Yeah," he peered at her over the balcony. "I'm leaving now, your breakfasts on the table, okay." The biggest grin spread across his face and Jade couldn't help smiling back at him. "Okay, bye Jade, thank you." As she walked through the front door she was aware of him bounding down the stairs behind her, she glanced back over her shoulder, "See you later."
Andre had come to Tori's rescue thankfully and as they pulled onto the school car park, she could just see Jade going through the main entrance. She hadn't told Andre anything about last night, she wasn't sure whether she was even supposed to mention that Jade had been there at all but seeing as Trina knew it was unlikely to stay a secret. They went in and as she opened her locker she heard a voice behind her, "Trina driving you crazy then?" She turned to see Jade stood there holding her phone. "Just a bit, luckily Andre saved me from having to come in with her," Tori smiled at Andre, who nodded looking pleased with himself. Cat wandered over and joined the group. Jade tilted her head to the side thoughtfully, "I can always give you a lift if you want." Tori wasn't sure who looked more bewildered, her, Andre or Cat! "What?" Jade exclaimed glaring at them all, "I have to drive past Tori's house to get here, it's hardly a big deal!" Andre raised his eyebrows and shrugged, Cat still looked blank and Tori grinned. Now that sounded much more like Jade.
Jade rolled her eyes, was she really so bad that her offering someone a lift should be greeted with such shock? "Hey, hey, hey!" Robbie was here, which meant Beck must be with him. Jade cringed, took a deep breath and turned towards them; she felt Tori's hand lightly touch the bottom of her back, not so as anyone would notice but just enough for her to know she was there. She focused on Robbie avoiding eye contact with Beck. "How is everyone today?" Ugh, Jade always struggled with Robbie's over the top cheeriness but now even more so, she let the others answer and turned back towards Tori, a familiar hand slid onto her shoulder and the look on Tori's face confirmed it was Beck's, "Jade.." "Don't!" She just couldn't help the venom in her tone, she shrugged his hand off and stormed off to class.
Tori couldn't quite believe Beck had just done that, was he really that stupid? She screwed her face up at him and shrugged palms to sky? He just stood there staring at her with this 'what?' look on his face. She pushed past him and went after Jade but by the time she caught up with her she was already sat in class. Tori took the seat next to her and lightly rubbed Jade's arm as she sat down. Neither said anything, there was no need. At least Beck wasn't in this lesson with them so Jade would have time to compose herself before she saw him again.
As the lunch bell rung through the school Jade knew Tori was going to try and make her come to lunch with them but a whole hour with Beck would be torture, she would just have to say no even if Tori pushed the issue. As they walked out of class, Tori caught her arm, "Come on." "Tori, I can't," Jade shook her head and pulled back. "It's okay, Robbie's getting Beck to help him with some techy stuff," Tori smiled hopefully. Jade sighed, her eyes darting around the corridors, "Alright but if he comes I'll have to go." "That's fine," Tori nodded. Jade sighed but followed Tori out to the café. Andre and Cat were already there and as promised there was no sign of Beck or Robbie. They fetched their food and joined the others. The lunch hour went far faster than the last couple had and Jade had even managed to crack a smile once or twice, particularly when Sinjin had meandered over and given her the perfect opportunity to use one of her creative put downs. "So you want to come over tonight?" Tori asked her, "Andre's coming and possibly Robbie too." "and Beck?" Jade's expression was wary. "No, no he's got something on I think," Tori cringed, Robbie had texted her earlier saying Beck had a date tonight, he had not been particularly impressed with his friend's fast work either. "Yeah, ok then." Jade reasoned it'd be better than sitting at home wondering what Beck was doing. The bell rang sending them back to class.
Tori decided to take Jade up on her offer of a lift at the end of the day, she climbed into the car and started looking around, it was very Jade! The interior was completely black, as was the exterior, the air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror was in the shape of a skull and cross bones, she had black seat belt covers with diamante geckos on them and the top of the gearstick was a silver skull, although it wasn't Tori's cup of tea it was very cool! It was a well-known fact at Hollywood Arts that Jade's family was extremely rich, so it had always surprised Tori that more often than not she used to choose to travel in Beck's truck, she also didn't particularly favour designer labels or expensive jewellery either. "I just need to stop off somewhere on the way," Jade mentioned, shaking her from her thoughts. "Yeah, no rush," she said and settled back in her seat. Before long they pulled up outside the exclusive Hollywood Prep Middle School. Tori was slightly confused but just nodded as Jade got out and said, "I won't be long." A few minutes later she returned with a younger boy she recognised from somewhere, she looked at his dark wavy hair and big grey, green eyes and realised this must be Jade's brother. She couldn't recall her ever mentioning him when they'd all been together and as she had known her for nearly two years now that struck her as really strange. She was however; glad to be allowed to see a part of Jade's life that she usually kept so hidden. As they got into the car Jade simply said, "Tori, Aiden, Aiden, Tori," with a quick flick of her hand.
Before she started the car Jade pulled her phone out of her pocket and wrote a quick text to her Mom, 'I've got Aiden.' It wasn't through courtesy, merely to avoid an argument later. She glanced at Tori who had swivelled in her seat to face the back seat and was chatting away with her brother. Aiden was animated in his responses to her and Jade was pleased she'd come to fetch him. The look on his face when she'd walked in and told him to grab his stuff was priceless. She dropped Tori off at home and drove her brother to the local Pizza Hut. They had their tea and Jade took the opportunity to quiz Aiden about what had been happening in her absence, as she had suspected her Mom was up to her usual tricks, with Jade barely around to get at she had turned on him instead. He chatted away for the rest of their time together as if he hadn't spoken to anyone properly for months; she remembered that feeling of isolation well. They pulled up on the drive and he leant against her arm slightly, "Thank you." She just nodded.
Andre had been at Tori's for a while by the time Robbie arrived closely followed by Jade, they played cards for a while and talked about everything except Beck, Tori was a little on edge in case Robbie opened his mouth and mentioned Beck's date but he didn't and thank God he hadn't brought Rex with him. It had been a surprisingly pleasant evening even when Trina had gate-crashed for a short while. The boys left around half ten and Jade had gotten up to leave too but Tori had stopped her, "You don't have to go just yet, unless you need to?" Jade thought about what was waiting at home for her, no it was fine she would stay. Tori was dying to ask about Jade's brother but didn't quite know how to bring to up without sounding really nosey, so instead they just discussed the weirdness of Robbie, Sikowitz's new play that they were both in and Cat's latest strange obsession. Midnight arrived and Jade gathered her stuff to go, just before she left Tori ventured, "I don't suppose you feel like going shopping tomorrow with me, I was going to ask Cat but she's away with her uncles this weekend," Jade smirked, "so you want me to stand in then?" Tori's face dropped, "No, no, that sounds really bad, I didn't mean it like that." Jade laughed, "It's ok, I don't mind being your second choice." Tori knew she was teasing but still tried to back track a little "It's just we don't normally do these kind of things together." Jade placed her hand on her arm to stop her "It's really ok, I need to get some new clothes anyway, half my stuffs still at Becks and I'm not ready to fetch it yet." Tori relaxed, "Well if at some point you decide you need it, I can always get him to drop it off here for you." Jade contemplated that for a second, "I may actually take you up on that one thanks" Tori nodded, "Okay, well just let me know when." "Ok, I'll see you in the morning" and with that Jade was gone.
Jade woke up around 9am, this was the most she'd slept for a long time. She picked up her phone and text Tori, 'Morning, I'll pick you up at 11.' Well this would be an experience! She could just imagine the type of girly boutiques Tori shopped at, ugh, then again, her favourite haunts probably wouldn't be Tori's idea of heaven either. She supposed that's what being Tori's friend would mean, a bit of compromise. This was some learning curve! She headed for the shower still rolling her eyes at the thought.
Tori woke up around 10, she grabbed her phone, opened the text from Jade, panicked, replied and then quickly shifted herself, she could do it, she could be ready in an hour! She raced around getting showered, drying her hair and sorting out what she was going to wear. What was wrong with her? She was only going into town with Jade! She had literally just hit the bottom of the stairs when Jade's car horn beeped, she grabbed her purse and ran out.
The local town centre was only a fifteen minute drive away. Once there they spent the first couple of hours shopping for the birthday cards and gifts that Tori had needed to fetch and then the time for dreaded girly boutiques arrived. Jade shook her head at half of the clothes they had on sale but she had to admit the stuff Tori picked wasn't horrendous, more just your average teenage girls attire. She had been dragged to the changing rooms in one particular store and as she stood outside the curtains she couldn't help wondering what Beck was doing right now, they'd always spent Saturday's chilling together. She was just about to log into the slap on her mobile when the curtain pulled back, "What do you think?" Tori had a pinky-orange top on with beaded detail across the neckline. "You're asking the wrong person," Jade said shaking her head. "I'm not asking if you like the top, just does it look okay?" Tori asked rolling her eyes. "You always look alright," Jade's tone was so matter of fact that Tori was stunned into silence for a second, "Well okay then, thanks." They finished up and left, "Coffee time now," Jade demanded, she needed a break from the shopping, she had never wandered around stores this much in her life. Tori laughed and stroked the side of Jade's face, "It's like shopping with a boy!" Jade laughed, "Sorry, but you know, it's just…me." "I'm finished now anyway, promise," Tori was still chuckling. They went to the local Starbucks and ate while they were there too, managing to chat away happily for the whole time. Although they were very different Jade was surprised how much they did actually have in common too.
When they had finished Tori looked at Jade, eyes glistening, "Okay, introduce me to shopping Jade West style!" Jade grinned and nodded, "Follow me." Tori genuinely was intrigued about where Jade would take her, the first stop being a small shop called Rowfers, the décor was completely black and purple with heavy gothic designs. As they wandered around Jade picked up various dresses, tops and pieces of jewellery. Tori would never have worn any of it but knew instantly that Jade would look fantastic in it all. She was one of those people who would even look good in rags. Jade headed over to the counter, "Aren't you trying them on?" Tori looked at her horrified. "I don't usually, if it doesn't fit I just bring it back but most of the time it's fine." Tori just stared at her for a second, "Just go and try them on! I want to see!" Jade sighed, rolled her eyes and then stomped over to the changing rooms, Tori was relishing this new found power of persuasion over Jade. With each change she saw she was right, Jade looked gorgeous in everything. The next shop, Salamanders, had similar décor to the last one only instead of purple it was heavy on a deep green shade. This shop held less of a clothing range but far more accessories and antiquities. Jade chose a bag, belt, ring and a small, intricate black and blue dragon sculpture. Tori found her tastes fascinating, "Where next?" She inquired. "I'm done," Jade shrugged. Tori laughed, "Okay, that took less than an hour! I can see why you got restless following me around." "I just know what I want, what I like….plus I'm a little more limited for choice really." Jade explained. "Fair enough….you wanna come back to mine for a bit?" Tori asked. "Yeah, why not." Jade nodded.
When they got to Tori's her Mom was just laying the table for dinner, Jade grimaced, she turned to Tori, "I'll just get off home now." Before Tori could answer her Mom shouted over, "No it's fine, stay for dinner, there's plenty here." Jade wasn't sure what to do, she didn't want to be rude but she wasn't good at the whole family thing. She'd struggled with Beck's even. It had taken her a long time before she had more than a brief interaction with them and still after all these years she was never entirely comfortable. Tori had dumped her bags on the sofa and was grabbing her hand to lead her towards the kitchen. It didn't look like she was getting a choice in this, "Okay, thank you," she said as pleasantly as possible. As they sat down to eat Tori had asked her Mom where Trina was, Jade was more than a little relieved that she was out, it would make the situation slightly easier anyway. She didn't talk much during the meal, just listened to them chat and answered politely when she was directly spoken too. The only adult other than Beck's parents that she had had a meal with in a very long time was Sikowitz and he was so crazy he wasn't even in the same category. She supposed that's why she was so fond of him really. Tori's Mom and Dad were nice though, she hadn't felt too awkward and they were genuinely interested in everything Tori was telling them about her day, which she found endearing. After the meal she thanked Tori's Mom and helped Tori wash up, she guessed this was what most normal families were like. Jade checked her phone, it was just after 6pm when they had finished clearing everything away. Who'd have thought she'd have ever been able to spend a whole day, alone with Tori and not want to pull her own teeth out. In fact, if she was honest, she'd, for the most part, enjoyed it really. "Movie time?" Tori stood there, eyebrows raised at Jade. "Why not," She grinned and headed over to the sofa's with her. As the film neared the end Jade felt her mood drop a little, she didn't understand it really but she didn't want to go. A few minutes later, as if she'd read Jade's mind, Tori turned to her, "Do you want to stay over? I've got spare pj's and you've got your new clothes with you for tomorrow!" Jade nodded slowly, "Yeah, that'd be good." She pulled her phone out and text her brother, 'Is she in?' 'She's just got back', he replied. 'Ok, just so you know, I'm staying at Tori's tonight. Be back tomorrow.' Her phone vibrated again, 'Promise?' That threw her a little, 'I promise!' she pressed send thoughtfully.
Tori rummaged through her clothes, she knew the bottoms wouldn't be a problem as they were roughly the same size but Jade was considerably larger in the chest area, she grabbed her baggiest t-shirt and handed it to Jade along with the pyjama bottoms. She grabbed her own stuff and headed to the bathroom. When she got back Jade was changed and standing looking at her photo montage. Oh no. There were group photos on there where Jade and Beck were wrapped around each other and sure enough as she drew level with Jade she could see tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. Tori rubbed Jade's arm reassuringly, suddenly, like a volcano erupting, Jade just let it all out, "I'm so lost Tori, I don't know what to do, I feel completely empty, it's not like I'm a nice person, I get it, I know I deserve this but I did love him, I really did, so much and I feel like he's reached in and ripped my heart right out of my chest, I feel dead inside." She sat down heavily on the edge of Tori's bed and put her head in her hands, the tears were flowing hard and fast now. Tori crouched down in front of her and pulled her hands away from her face. "Jade! Listen to me, you are not a bad person, you may like to pretend to be mean but deep down you're really not. You do not deserve to feel like this and I genuinely don't know why Beck finished it but that's his issue and sometimes things just don't work out. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you." Jade was shaking her head, she was totally lost in her despair. Tori was still gripping Jade's arms and as she rubbed her thumb across the soft skin of Jade's forearms she felt a raised line down the centre of her tattoo following the line of her vein. She froze and Jade glanced up, their eyes locked for a second, Jade was shaking from the force of her sobs and as she looked away she simply said, "It was a long time ago, before Beck, before Hollywood Arts." Tori went from being in shock to being completely horrified, before? That would mean she would have only been 13! So the tattoo wasn't an act of rebellion then merely a cover up of her vulnerability. Jade just wasn't calming down at all, Tori grabbed her hands and guided her up she pulled the covers back and eased Jade into bed, she climbed in next to her and enveloped her, resting her chin on the top of Jade's head, stroking her hair and repeating like a mantra, "It's going to be ok, I'm here, I'm not going leave you." Jade just lay there in her arms and continued to sob until she eventually fell into an exhausted sleep. Tori was still stroking Jade's hair long after she'd drifted off, she reasoned that Jade must have been deeply affected by her father leaving and that was why Beck ending it had devastated her to this degree. She felt an overwhelming urge to throttle Beck right now, even though she knew that was probably unreasonable. At some point she dozed off herself, with her arms still tightly wrapped around Jade.
When Jade woke up she was still lying entwined with Tori although in a more relaxed position, within seconds of coming round the events of the previous evening came flooding back, she was hit by a confusing mixture of emotions, embarrassment that she'd crumbled, shame that Tori knew what she'd done, despair that she couldn't stop the pain she was feeling but also relief that she'd voiced her feelings, gratitude that Tori had been there for her and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. She gently slipped Tori's arms from around her, she looked so sweet and peaceful when she was sleeping and she didn't want to disturb her. She picked up her clothes, headed to the bathroom and got washed and dressed. Tori was just surfacing as she came back into the room. "You ok?" She asked Jade sleepily. "Yeah I'm ok, sorry about last night and thank you." Tori smiled, "There's no need to apologise or thank me, really," she sat up and yawned. Jade stood folding the clothes Tori had lent her, Tori flung the covers back, "I'm going to go make a coffee," and as she walked past Jade she stopped and placed her hand on her shoulder, "I meant what I said last night, I'm here but I don't want to push you to accept anything from me, you just let me know what you want me to do, okay." Jade nodded and as Tori went downstairs she switched her laptop on and grabbed a disc from the pile on the desk, luckily as she'd hoped Tori had no password on her computer. By the time Tori returned with their drinks she was finished. They chatted about their homework over the coffee, then Jade got up to go, "I'd better go home, there's the homework for one and I promised Aiden last night I'd come back today." Tori nodded but she was convinced that really Jade was embarrassed about last night. Halfway down the stairs Jade said she had forgotten one of her bags and went to get it, she dropped the cd onto the bed and headed back down. She thanked Tori again and left.
Tori spotted the cd as soon as she walked back in her room, she smiled, stuck it in her stereo and pressed play not knowing what to expect! A slow rock beat seeped from the speakers, Tori sat on her bed and focused on the lyrics, "How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home. (Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) before I come undone (Save me) save me from the nothing I've become. Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real bring me to life!" Okay, so she definitely wanted her to stick around and help her then. She swore there and then that no matter how long it took, or what she needed to do, she would get Jade though this. She lay back on her bed and listened to the rest of the song, feeling a steely determination taking her over.
A.N/ Song quoted is Evanescence ~ Bring me to life.
Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, next one will be up within the next few days. Thanks for reading.
