(A little bit of history that you don't really need to read but might entertain you...)
After the Third Shinobi War ended, the world was—mostly—at peace. Iwa was beaten, Kiri was dealing with its own numerous issues, Suna was all but castrated economically, Konoha was the victor...again, and Kumo was pissed.
But the Raikage saw his chance for revenge when he heard about the Kyuubi breaking free from its container and attacking the village. The Leaf, he knew, was weakened and couldn't handle another war just then, while Cloud had never stopped preparing as if for war. In the beginning, he merely saw it as an opportunity.
It was a little-known fact that girls of the Hyuuga clan were very rarely branded with a curse seal. They didn't need to be, since, unlike males, so few actually became ninja and therefore never left the village in the first place. Also, the curse seal prevented the byakugan from being passed on to offspring, meaning the females were the only ones who could preserve the legendary bloodline. All of it was done in an effort to make sure the ability never left the clan, and it worked. But the Raikage saw it as a rare chance to snatch one of the unsealed girls for himself. In his mind, it would kill two birds with one stone: it would soothe his wounded ego and would gain a valuable bloodline for his people.
That was all it was in the beginning—an opportunity. At the end, however, all he could see was death.
"It strikes! one, two,
Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch,
Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest;
Would thou could'st make the time to do so too;
I'll wind thee up no more."
-Ben Jonson
June 6, 12:00 p.m.
Ibiki watched with sadness as his foster-son once again attempted a perfect kata in their small yet adequate backyard. Naruto wasn't what many would call a genius, but he was so unbelievably stubborn that no one would ever call him lacking. But that was just in the physical department. Mentally...Ibiki hadn't quite figured him out.
He'd only been training the boy for about six months and had, of course, started at the foundation—with taijutsu. Every ninja needed coordination, and the kid was just now developing it. But, boy, had those first few attempts been pretty pitiful. Still, that bottom lip of his had puffed out and he'd gotten back up no matter how many times he'd fallen. Naruto had tried again and again and again until he'd figured the first kata out. It was pure stubbornness keeping him going, not skill.
He was not a natural taijutsu user.
Thinking that, the infamous interrogator snorted. Just because he wasn't a natural didn't mean he couldn't be great at it...eventually. It just meant it'd take a bit more work. Ibiki winced as Naruto once again tangled up his limbs and collapsed with a loud THUMP. He let the childish bad-mouthing wash over him and looked over at the shinobi sitting on the grass to his right.
"Hey."
"What?" the figure said without taking his eyes off the book in his lap.
"Are you paying any attention...at all?"
He turned a page. "Yup."
Ibiki waited for a beat. "And?"
The man's attention never left the typed words in front of him. "He messed up the placement of his left foot and lost his balance while stepping back."
Ibiki waited again.
"...And then he fell and insulted the ground for being too hard...?"
"Kakashi! You're supposed to be helping me! Do you have to read all the time?"
"Why, yes, I do."
"Kakashi..." he growled.
"Hmph. The only thing you said was not to read Icha Icha around Idate and Naruto anymore." He turned the book's front towards his friend. "See? No sex."
As he read the title, Ibiki couldn't help but slap his head. "Black Beauty? Seriously?"
Kakashi shrugged. "I finished that cookbook a long time ago."
"So I noticed," he said through clenched teeth. The Jounin had tried out every single recipe in his kitchen.
"After that, I read The Pillow Book, which, I have to say, was not what I was expecting."
Ibiki's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "And what was it you were expecting?" He dimly noted that Naruto had fallen again and was kicking the ground in anger.
"Well, certainly not essays and stories about the imperial court. A little bit more scandal would've been nice..."
"You mean, 'a bit more promiscuity,'" he accused the Copy-nin.
He nodded and didn't even try to deny it. "Yup."
Ibiki sighed. "Pervert. Maybe I should start wearing a mask rather than be seen in public with you."
As if shocked, Kakashi dropped his book on the grass and put his hand over his heart as he gasped out, "Ibiki! How could you? And I thought you loved me!"
Vaguely nauseated, the interrogator rolled his eyes. "Sorry, but I prefer shaved legs."
Kakashi picked up his book with a flourish. "Oh, but how you would you know that, Ibiki? If I recall correctly, you have yet to experience the joys of-"
"Enough." He stood and walked over to the three-year-old boy who was pouting fiercely and sitting on the ground. "Get up, Naruto."
"Bu' Ikki..."
"Come on and I'll show you where you keep messing up. Deal?"
Naruto's pout melted off his face and a brilliant smile took its place as he leapt to his feet. "Yay!"
"Alright, show me each move from the beginning."
So, the boy began and carefully placed each hand and foot where he believed it should go, and Ibiki began making minor corrections—just an inch here or there, really, but that's all it took. Imperfection was unacceptable. A foundation that was imperfect eventually cracked, and no one, no one, was "cracking" his foster-son.
They went over it till it was time for lunch, with Kakashi throwing in a rare comment and idea. (Really, he was just shy of being completely useless.)
"Hey! Kakashi!" Ibiki called out to the slack-off he called friend.
"Yo?"
"Lunch! You coming or are you just going to sit there and do nothing?"
Kakashi sighed, put his book away, and walked over to them. "Fine. I finished it an hour ago, anyway."
Ibiki choked and sputtered. That jerk! "Then why weren't you helping?"
The infuriating man shrugged. "Looked like you had everything under control to me. Besides, that moving scene where Black Beauty stands side-by-side his sick master the whole night—it moved my heart."
Ibiki growled angrily. "I'll move your heart, you little bast-"
"Ah-ah-ah!" Kakashi said as he wagged his finger. "There's a little boy nearby; do be sure to watch your language a little more closely in the future."
"You..."
"Besides, I prefer shaved legs," he said, throwing Ibiki's own words back at him, "and I know that for sure."
"Oh, please," Ibiki scoffed. "Who'd sleep with you?"
"Rin."
"...Rin shaves her legs?"
Kakashi sighed and then slumped. "No," he admitted.
"HA! Then you DON'T know! You haven't experienced it, either!"
The Copy-nin mumbled something about it being difficult to find a good date while Ibiki laughed.
"Uh...Ikki?" a small, young voice piped up next to them.
Both men jumped. They hadn't been paying any attention and Naruto had caught them by surprise.
"Yes, Naruto?"
"Wha' 'choo talkin' 'bout?"
Ibiki turned to his friend and said with a smirk, "Oh, we're just reminiscing about our lack of...experience."
Kakashi grumbled out something that sounded suspiciously like "books count," but Naruto had already blinked, shrugged, and turned away.
Ibiki couldn't help but snicker as all three of them made their way back to his house, one of them distinctly more depressed than before as he sat down at the table.
Naruto, however, followed Ibiki into the kitchen to check out the food.
"Wha's fo' lunch, Ikki?"
"Miso soup and rice."
"...No wamen?"
"No ramen."
Naruto left to sit at the table, and Idate came in the kitchen right then to voice his own opinions. "Awww...no brownies?"
"No brownies."
Both boys pouted.
Ibiki chuckled. "Idate, how's your reading coming along?"
Idate looked distinctly uncomfortable. "It's hawd, Ibiki. Why I gotta wead it, anyway?"
"Because it's one of the most revered books in history, not to mention one of the few to actually survive this long. It tells us what our culture was like before villages were formed—before jutsu were created, even. For some people, it's the only thing that survives of their lives and work." He grabbed the bowls of soup and a larger bowl of rice and walked to the dining room.
"Huh?" the child said, confusion twisting his features into that of a cute puppy.
As he placed the food before his guest and pseudo-son, he told him, "That book is the only reason we know those people once lived. They'd have been forgotten, otherwise."
Idate blinked. "Oh."
"So, are you going to keep reading it?"
His little brother nodded reluctantly.
"What book are you talking about, Ibiki?" Kakashi asked.
Ibiki set the bowls of soup down, one next to each plate. The rice he set in the middle. "The Man'yoshu."
"Ah." He reached for his chopsticks and took a bit, humming in approval.
"Wha's da Manny...er, da Manno...wha' is it?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi was the one to tell him as he reached for the rice. "The Man'yoshu. It's made up of poetry that a lot of different people wrote. Some of those poems are so old that we had to study them for years just to understand the language in which they were written." Using a spoon, he poured some of his soup onto his rice.
Naruto stared at him in awe. Though he clearly hadn't understood everything the scarecrow had said, he understood enough to be impressed. "C'n I wead it?"
Kakashi looked amused even as he took a bite. "I don't know. Can you?"
"Huh?"
"Can you read?"
"Uh..."
"I'll take that as a no."
Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head and Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath before turning away.
"Naruto," Ibiki said, "eat up. You don't want to eat cold soup, right?"
"Wight!" he nodded and then started digging in. Then... "Kaka?"
"Hmm?"
"How you eat wit' a mask?"
"Genjutsu."
"Gen..joo-ey?"
Kakashi shrugged. "Close enough."
Ibiki sighed. "Naru-chan's had a little trouble with the academic aspects of being a shinobi." He scooped up a bit of rice with his chopsticks. "But he's still young, so I'm not particularly worried about it."
The interrogator saw his friend flinch slightly. He still blamed himself for this, after all. And "young" was a bit of an understatement. Technically, the boy was still a toddler. Idate himself had only recently turned five and was focused entirely on reading and writing, while Naruto was already being shoved into killing. Academics would most likely always take a backseat when it came to Naruto.
Or, at least, that would have been the case if anyone other than Ibiki and Kakashi had been training him.
Kakashi hummed. "I'll get you some flashcards later. For now, I just finished Black Beauty, so I need something else to read, too. We can start on the Man'yoshu tonight before you go to sleep."
The interrogator was rather amused. "You're going to read it out loud to him?"
The Copy-nin shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"
Naruto let out a whoop, and Kakashi smiled. But the toddler wasn't quite finished asking questions. "Kaka?"
"Hmm?"
"How's Winny?"
Ibiki sighed. Rin wasn't doing poorly, exactly, but she wasn't recovering quite like they'd thought she would, either. The stress of the surrogacy had taken its toll, and some days it was all she could do to walk up a tree using her chakra. Since her element was and always had been earth, it was clear that the newest Sarutobi had either a lightening or water nature, and the damage to her chakra coils was still healing. Ibiki had been told the hows and whys, but he wasn't a doctor, so the technical terms had gone over his head. Still, she was alive and would most likely remain so for a long time.
"She's doing just fine," he informed his young charge. "She's just having trouble doing ninja stuff right now."
To his surprise, Naruto nodded. "Her b'oo stuff won't do nothin'."
"If you already know about her chakra problem, why did you ask?"
"B'cause...is weally dahk. I don' like it..."
"It's dark? What kind of dark is it? Is it the same as when people in the orphanage used to look at you?"
Naruto shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Dem made me feel cold. Dis is tired."
"'Tired'? It makes you feel tired?"
The blonde nodded.
Ibiki looked over at Kakashi, whose one visible eye was grim. They both had a good idea what the child was describing, but why hadn't Rin said anything? He nodded and then said his goodbyes, disappearing without even a breath of wind to mark his departure—the sign of a master at the Body Flicker, something Kakashi had clearly been working on recently.
"Where's Kaka goin'?" Idate asked.
"He just had some work to catch up on." More like he was going to go make sure Rin got some help. No one cared for his comrades like the Copy-nin.
Naruto frowned at the recently-vacated seat. "'e left a mess..."
Ibiki blinked and then looked at Kakashi's plate. Soup splatters were everywhere, as were tiny grains of rice. He groaned. That man just couldn't resist ruining his kitchen!
7:00 p.m.
Kakashi returned to Ibiki's cabin after meeting with the Hokage for a bit and discussing certain issues, namely Rin and her newly-discovered postpartum depression and, strangely enough, the Hyuuga clan. It was a little later than normal, but he'd given Naruto his word that he would read some of the Man'yoshu to him. Besides, Minato-sensei had told him that it had been something of a family tradition to read and study it, and he wanted to keep at least this alive.
He didn't bother knocking on the door—Naruto would've sensed him and told Ibiki—and simply walked in, only to see Idate and the blonde sitting on the floor as they played with tiny ninja figurines. It wouldn't have been so strange if one of the toys hadn't been hanging from the inside of Naruto's nose.
The Copy-nn looked over at Ibiki, who was sitting on the couch, and lifted his one visible eyebrow.
Ibiki just shrugged. Clearly, he wasn't going to do anything about the disgusting booger.
Ok...he could handle this. He was an adult...almost. Three more months and he'd be there, and he might as well be one now, anyway! He killed people and read porn—it counted no matter what Ibiki said—practically on a daily basis. So, there! He could handle this. He could handle the—oh, no, the snot-covered child was running towards him! It was hugging him!
AND WHAT HAD JUST HIT HIS FOOT? Kakashi looked down and saw, to his horror, the diseased figurine that had previously been up Naruto's nose lying face-down on his sandaled foot. Also, there was a distinctly damp patch on the leg the boy was holding.
He'd lied; there was only one way to handle this, and that was...
Kakashi glanced at Ibiki and made his decision; it was either his sanity or his friend.
...Substitution.
A pop and a poof of smoke later, Naruto was hugging Ibiki's leg and getting snot all over his clothing. And Kakashi lounged on the couch in contentment as his friend glared at him.
"Kakashi...you are such a pansy."
"Mmhmm." Why disagree with the truth?
"And I'm going to burn your Icha Icha books for this."
"Good luck with that." He'd kept his precious literature hidden ever since the kunoichi had organized a village-wide smut seek-and-destroy mission a few months ago. No one was laying a hand on his porn.
An hour later, it was time for the two boys to go to bed. After tucking the children in (the Jounin giggled at the interrogator's motherly instincts), Ibiki practically threw the book at him and said, "Here," before walking out the door.
After rolling his eyes, Kakashi cracked open the thick tome and flipped through it till he found a certain page. He sat down on the wooden floor in between the two boys' mats and began reading.
What we must accept
as we journey through the world
is that time will pass
like the waters of a stream;
in countless slumbers,
in relentless succession,
it will besiege us
with assaults we must endure.
"Wha's 'endure,' Kaka?"
"It means 'to last' or 'to keep going even when things are hard.'"
"Oh..."
Kakashi wondered if the little guy understood a word he'd said. Oh, well.
They could not detain
the period of their bloom,
when, as maidens will,
they who were then maidens
encircled their wrists
with gemmed bracelets from Cathay,
and took their pleasure
frolicking hand in hand
with their youthful friends.
"Do dey f'olick with Mister Green? He's yout'ful."
Mister Green...was Idate referring to Gai? When had the two of them met? And how badly was the boy traumatized? He might have to alert Ibiki to the fact that his brother might need therapy.
"...Let's just keep reading, shall we?"
So the months and years went by,
and when did it fall-
that sprinkling of wintry frost
on glistening hair
as black as leopard flower seeds?
"Kaka?"
"Hmm?"
"Wha's a leapin' flow seed?"
"A leopard flower is a type of lily, Naruto. It's orange and has dark spots on it that make it look like a leopard, and its seeds are a black color."
"Oh. Like owange!"
"...I'm sure you do." He hadn't forgotten the paint incident.
And whence did they come-
those wrinkles that settled in,
marring the smoothness
of blushing pink faces?
Kakashi continued reading until both boys had fallen asleep. Then, he closed the book and did something he would have vehemently denied, had anyone seen it.
He bent down and gently kissed Naruto's forehead, just as his own father had done for him before his death. And then, he turned and did the same for Idate. 'Their parents might be gone, but...they're not alone, and I'll do my best in your place, wherever you are. Both of us will.'
October 10, 103 A.F.
Naruto woke up automatically and looked at the clock. It was 12:00 a.m., exactly the time he'd wanted. And there was good reason for it. Today was his birthday, and he and his brothers-slash-trainers had come to an understanding over the years: It was his birthday and he'd prank whomever he darn well felt like!
Just the thought caused a smirk to wash over his face, and as he glanced at his brother's snoring form, he chuckled inwardly. Carefully, Naruto pulled back his own blankets as he stalked across the room, making sure to use his chakra to soften his steps as much as possible. He'd learned the tree-walking technique from Kakashi a week ago and had altered the jutsu just for this occasion.
After all, Idate's hearing was top-notch and he could hear and identify anything out of place almost instantly. The last thing he needed was his brother alerting Ibiki to what he had in store. Naruto picked up his backpack that sat by the door, grabbed the doorknob, and gently turned it...
...only to come face-to-face with Ibiki himself.
"Aw, man!" he whined. "That's not fair, Ikki..."
But his oldest brother merely smirked. "Hmph! What's not fair was last year's plastic cover on the toilet in my bathroom, the glue and feathers you convinced Gai, of all people, to parade around in for a day, and—Naruto, how in the world you managed this one I'll never know—how you infiltrated the ANBU building and rigged each door to explode with confetti when opened!"
Naruto didn't feel at all guilty, if the proud way he puffed out his chest was any indication. "Yup! Awesome, wasn't it?"
Ibiki's eyes narrowed. "Not after I got the paperwork from the Head of ANBU! Do you have any idea just how much trouble I got in?"
There was something odd about the tone of his older brother's voice, and when he noticed the man in front of him was wearing his shinobi outfit, he had an idea. "Wow, I guess it really wasn't fair, then."
"Nope."
"I mean, you didn't have anything to do with all those pranks..."
"Right."
Naruto's eyes gleamed. "So, would you like to this year?"
His brother's eyebrows rose.
"I mean, I'm gonna prank people today—you know that. And if you're going to have to deal with paperwork one way or another, you might as well earn it."
Now Ibiki's eyes were gleaming. "I was hoping you'd see things my way, kid."
Naruto chuckled evilly. "Hey, wanna hear what I've got in mind for Kaka?"
"You bet."
As they headed out the door after grabbing several more...necessities, neither one of them noticed that Idate had woken up and was huddling in his bed in fear.
His brothers were crazy!
5:00 a.m.
Later that morning, twenty-three of the most powerful ninja in the world forgot to check the toilets for plastic wrap and double-sided sticky tape. The Head of ANBU himself had had his entire left eyebrow shaven off.
It was a very painful morning.
Simultaneously, Konohamaru found himself dressed in a miniature, green spandex suit with orange legwarmers. And Rin woke up to her hand in a bowl of warm water, a relaxed bladder, and soiled sheets.
The Hokage's office was perhaps the hardest hit, emotionally-speaking. Each one of his naughty books had been replaced with pamphlets on STDs, teen pregnancy, and "No Means No." His pipes had been replaced with children's toys that blew bubbles instead of smoke, too.
Kakashi himself wasn't left untouched. He woke up close to noon in his apartment with the feeling that he was forgetting something important but ignored it and went to his kitchen to eat breakfast. Unfortunately for him, he never made it down the hall. The Copy-nin, eyes bleary with sleep, didn't notice the slight sheen and walked right into the plastic cling wrap stretching from floor to ceiling and from wall to wall.
He bounced back and staggered slightly before blinking and ripping the plastic off with his hands. The Jounin grumbled in irritation but was really too sleepy to think deeply on the subject. So, when he stepped in a thick, syrup-glitter mixture, he yelped.
"Geez, what—Naruto!"
1:00 p.m.
Hiruzen massaged his temples. Today was not a good day; his por—er, literature had been cruelly ripped from his grasp, just like his pipes. He didn't even have to think about it to know Naruto Uzumaki was responsible. The six-year-old had matured quickly the few years, sure, but he still insisted on playing pranks on his birthday.
Inevitably, the more his pranks escalated, the more his paperwork grew. Rather than increase his headache, however, he created a Shadow Clone and told it to "get to work." Then, Sarutobi stood up and called for his personal ANBU. This week, it was Leopard, a young man from the Hyuuga clan.
The man appeared as if from nowhere and knelt before his leader. "Hokage-sama?"
He sighed tiredly. "Go get Naruto."
"Yes, sir!" Leopard disappeared and was gone only a few minutes before reappearing with a squirming, blonde bundle dressed in a miniature ANBU uniform under his arm.
"Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme GO!" Naruto yelled.
The (real) ANBU dropped him.
"Owwww! HEY!"
The Hokage felt his head throb with every syllable. That boy was going to be the death of him some day, wasn't he? "Naruto-"
"You big meanie!"
"I just did what you asked," Leopard replied, amused.
Sarutobi tried again. "Naruto-"
"You knew what I meant, you jerk!"
"Oh? Are you sure about that?"
"Naruto-"
"Yeah, I'm sure! The chakra around your heart spiked! You...you liar!"
"NARUTO!"
The boy jumped. "Er, yeah, Old Man?"
"If you wouldn't mind, there's a reason I called you here. Now, please sit down," he said as he pointed to a chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his loyal guard quietly trying to sneak out. "Leopard."
Leopard stopped dead in his tracks.
"Arguing with a six-year-old is rather unprofessional, don't you think?"
The assassin gulped. "Yes, sir."
"Then, I don't have to tell you not to let it happen again, do I?"
He shook his head quickly.
"Good. You're dismissed."
At that, the ANBU disappeared and Sarutobi went back to rubbing his temples even as he stood there and stared at Naruto, who was shifting uncomfortably.
"Er, hey, there, Old Man! How's it-"
"Stop. Just...stop right there, Naruto. You know exactly how it's going."
The small boy gulped nervously. "Hehe..."
"However, I didn't call you here to punish you."
"You...didn't...?" A small gleam of hope appeared in his bright blue eyes.
"No, I didn't. First, I just wanted to ask you a question, Naru-chan."
The boy smiled widely in relief. "Sure! Ask away, Jiji!"
"Who helped you?"
Naruto blinked. "Uh..."
"There's no way you could've pulled all those pranks off by yourself, so who helped you?"
"Um, well, Ikki sort of helped me, I guess."
"You guess?"
Tiny shoulders shrugged. "He gave me the idea for the double-sided sticky tape and did the syrup in Kakashi's apartment by himself." Then, the boy smirked. "He also showed me your porn stash and helped me switch it out. There's also that other one that I'm gettin' a little worried about... Well, anyway, that's it."
Hiruzen thought about his words for a moment. Obviously, everything else had been Naruto, but that would mean... "Naruto, are you telling me that you broke into ANBU again? Are you saying that it wasn't Ibiki who let you in?" His top interrogator did, after all, have access.
"Yup! Didn't need his help with that at all! You'd think they'd have fixed all those security flaws I found, but nope!"
Security flaws? ANBU? "Like what?" he almost snapped.
Naruto didn't even bat an eye when he said, "For one thing, I'm small. Gates and fences? They don't work on guys like me. Maybe those are only s'pposed to keep civilians away, since they can't go up the walls like I can, but still."
The Hokage interrupted. "But those walls are covered in seals that repel all foreign chakra. You couldn't walk up them yourself, much less crawl into a window or a vent for the same reason: seals! And they're not so gentle at that point—they've been known to kill intruders! Each and every operative has his or her chakra encoded into the seals for a set amount of time. Anyone without that person's chakra signature dies!" He paused for a moment to let that sink in before he continued. "Naruto, I kid you not when I say that the ANBU headquarters is the most secure building in this nation—heck, probably the world— because of those seals, and you, a six-year-old, have broken into it twice when no one else has even managed to break into it once!"
"Cool..."
"No, not 'cool,' Naruto! It's dangerous, and I still have no idea how you did it!"
The child's jaw dropped. "You mean, you haven't figured it out yet?"
Sarutobi slapped his forehead. "Didn't I just get through saying that?"
"And no one else can do it?"
A sigh was his only response.
"Wow! I'm AWESOME! But...it was so easy..."
"What was?"
"Well, I'd just spent a few days before my totally awesome prank watching the people go in and out of the building. One lady was in and out, like, five times, and I just...sorta...watched what her chakra did and made mine do the same thing. It didn't seem like a big deal..."
The Third was flabbergasted. "Are you saying that you copied her chakra signature?" He couldn't have cared less about Ibiki right then.
"Uh...yes?"
"Thoroughly enough to trick the seals created by one of the best seal masters in the history of the world?" That was supposed to be impossible. Chakra signatures were like fingerprints, and though it was possible for someone to fool another person, no one had ever been quite good enough to fool those seals...until now.
"Hey, I got in, didn't I?" Naruto had crossed his arms and was pouting.
"I'm not doubting you, Naruto. I'm just..."
"Just what, Jiji?"
"You're six years old and already practically an infiltration specialist! Wasn't it just yesterday that little Kono was born? Wasn't it just last week that you were dying Kaka's hair orange? Wasn't it?"
Naruto just blinked. "Jiji, you ok?"
"I'm fine, Naru-chan. It's just that time passes by so quickly...and I keep getting older."
The blonde nodded. "Ikki says that time runs fastest when you're not looking. He said that when Idate moved up two classes instead of one."
Ah, yes, another one of the infamous Morino family quotes. There were rumors that some Chuunin was making a book out of them. What a waste of time. "Yes, very true, Naru-chan.. Now, for the second reason I asked you here, I WANT MY THINGS BACK. That is not negotiable. Understood?"
He gulped. "Got it, Old Man." Immediately, the child reached into a pocket on the side of his pants and pulled out a small scroll. He opened it, channeled a small amount of chakra, and let out a surprised grunt as the books and a small pouch landed in his arms.
Clearly, he still wasn't used to using those things to store items or he would've known to move out of the way.
Naruto staggered forward (his collection was rather impressive, after all) and plopped the stack on the floor next to the desk with a blinding grin. "There ya go, Old Fart!"
The Hokage's eyebrow twitched, but he knew better than to encourage the nickname. "...Right. Anyway, the third reason I called you here has nothing to do with your pranks, exactly. It's actually a...professional talk, if you will."
"Ok, shoot!"
"This will be your last year for the basics. Starting next year on October 11, you will be assigned to a squad for more intensive training."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"That will last until the ANBU Commander sees fit, after which time you will be assigned missions at my discretion."
By this point, the boy was whooping, jumping about, and throwing his fist up in the air.
Ah, yes, the news that his childhood was on its last gasp was clearly being met with dread and uncertainty. Why did he bother? Naruto was already his most dedicated ninja—and he wasn't even a Genin yet! One thing he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was that he had to keep Gai away from the Uzumaki as much as possible; only God knew how the green-clad Jounin would corrupt his favorite six-year-old if he was the brat's full-time tutor.
And Naruto had come so far in the three years he'd been trained. Ibiki had taken over the physical training while Kakashi had taken over mental training. The boy could now read and write on a level one would expect of someone several years older, and he no longer slurred his words. However, things like math and science were well beyond him, and history bored him to tears (really, Kakashi had practically performed a miracle just getting the blonde where he was). A genius he was not, but his almost single-minded dedication made up for it when it came to the physical aspects of ninja life.
The only jutsu Naruto knew, of course, were the basic, academy-taught Three, plus some higher chakra-control exercises. Mostly, he just knew taijutsu very, very well for his age and size. Still, what he knew he put to incredible use.
As proven with the recent pranks, which had the ANBU Commander furious and Danzo practically breathing down his neck with reminders of "promises." The Hokage could see his old friend's point; really, he could. A child that could somehow infiltrate ANBU was clearly ready to move on to more serious matters. Apparently, making friends and having an actual life was not one of those "more serious matters."
Still, ANBU training or not, Naruto would have to mature physically for awhile longer before he could even be remotely considered effective in open combat. That might give him a year or two longer for training, and then he'd most likely be assigned simple surveillance missions (spying) and, later, hunting down low-level missing-nin. Assassinations would probably come next...unfortunately, since they were technically less risky than open combat.
Even as his favorite blonde left his office in depressingly high spirits, Sarutobi rubbed his temples again, but for a different reason this time. He could foresee three possible outcomes from Naruto's training: either the boy would burn out at a young age (as had almost happened to Kakashi), he would go insane (not ninja-crazy; literally crazy) and pull an Orochimaru, or he would become great.
Really, only time would tell.
Somewhere deep in one of the Genin training fields, a man woke up with a note attached to his chest...his bare chest.
"Hmm? What's this? 'True youth needs no adornments'?" He looked down at his naked body and blinked. "Why, what a fantastic revelation my fellow youthful friend left me this year! In thanks, I shall run one hundred—NO! ONE THOUSAND!—laps around Konoha! And if I cannot do that, I will climb a mountain with my pinky! And if I cannot do that, I will—wait...do my youthful eyes see more written on the back...? 'And remember to share the glory of your youth with as many people as possible.' Hmmm..." Gai thought for a moment. It was a rather splendid idea. "Alright, then, my anonymous, youthful friend! After my one thousand laps around our beautiful village, I shall shout my youthful declarations to the world from the very top of the Hokage Tower!"
And then, he proceeded to do just that.
The village would never be the same.
A.N. And so ends chapter 5. I did have a timeskip, though it didn't work out quite like I'd planned...darn it. It's practically a filler, and those are kind of annoying, but I couldn't just let poor little Naruto's childhood go by without any explanations whatsoever. Think about it: "And then, he aged" just doesn't cover it. How did he grow up? What was his life like? What role did his foster-family play? How did he develop emotionally and mentally?
See what I mean? It wouldn't work. Besides, it's my story and I can filler if I want to. :)
Anyway, for those who have no interest in actually looking things up (I know I typically don't):
The Pillow Book—this is an actual Japanese book written somewhere between 966-1017 A.D. by Sei Shonagon. It's perhaps one of the greatest works of prose ever written, especially by a woman that early in history.
Man'yoshu—this is also an actual Japanese book, compiled sometime in the 700s. It's the oldest anthology of Japanese poetry in existence and is very highly revered. The poem included in this story is called "A Lament on the Evanescence of Life," written by Yamanoue no Okura.
Black Beauty—if you live in Europe or America and you don't know what book this is, you should feel ashamed of your level of education. You don't necessarily need to have read it, but if you can't even recognize the title, then I feel bad for you. Do a Google search.
I put these three books in there for several reasons.
1. Black Beauty because it's darn funny to think that Kakashi had to replace his porn with a heartwarming horse story. It'd be like Hitler becoming enamored with the book Little Women. I would laugh till I peed my pants if that happened.
2. The Japanese books were put in there because it's technically a Japanese world. Sure, I'll throw a few vague Western references in there, but that's just for laughs; they don't exist in the manga and always seem out-of-place in fan stories. Think about it: how many of you have rolled your eyes at "My OC named Bob!"?
3. It was to help explain Naruto's ability to speak more clearly. Seriously, go through and read some of those poems; you'll add to your vocabulary like nobody's business. And with Kakashi training him (mentally), you bet he's further along than normal, and so is Idate. Besides, it's my story and I'll exaggerate if I want to. :)
Anyway, for the month of October, there were 420 hits and 369 visitors to the previous chapter. I'm looking for a little over 500 hits and about 450 visitors. I want that $20 lol!
