"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's hwy people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, rising everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

-Erica Jong


12:30

"So, how exactly is Kakashi planning on getting them to pass? Naruto and teamwork don't mix too well. Besides, he knows the Bell Test, so the whole thing would be pointless."

Ibiki smirked. "I asked hm the exact same thing, and he apparently has a little plan up his sleeves."

Inoichi leaned forward. "Oh? Do tell."

The Special Jounin's grin turned feral. "You know all those pranks the brat's pulled on him over the years?"

The clan head nodded.

"Kakashi's been planning his revenge for a loooong time..."


1:00 p.m.

Kakashi eyed his possible Genin team with amusement. He liked this arrangement very much! Sasuke was just as he'd read—aloof, somewhat cold, highly intelligent, and powerful enough that the title of Chuunin would've fit better. Sakura was just as expected, too—a preteen who had a romanticized view of ninja life, had an IQ of at least 180, and was rather insecure and shallow. Basically, except for the IQ, she was a typical twelve-year-old.

The two of them as Naruto's teammates made for some highly comedic moments. Blondie was in his usual gear (head-to-toe black) and had his usual attitude ("don't touch me") as he stood and glared at Sakura for...something Kakashi had missed. Sasuke was just leaning against a tree and rolling his eyes. If the Copy-nin hadn't known better, he'd think he was looking at a snapshot of his old Genin team, except Rin was Sasuke, Obito was Sakura, and Naruto was Kakashi. Really, it was just too good to pass up getting this team.

He'd just have to ignore his more sadistic tendencies and graduate them. Darn.

Kakashi Body Flickered right next to the Uchiha, who didn't notice, and blatantly eavesdropped on the arguing preteens' conversation.

"I don't care how many A-ranks you've done! You're an arrogant snob!"

"Arrogant? You don't even know me!"

"And YOU don't even know ME!" she screamed back at him.

The Copy-nin still remained unnoticed.

"You wanna bet?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Kakashi's eyes practically sparkled with mischief. Did he hear wedding bells in their future? Oh, yes, and the yells were music to his ears! This was his idea of Heaven—someone had finally gotten under the blonde's skin and reduced him to a child his own age! This team would indeed be good for his little brother. But being ignored was beginning to grate on his nerves, so he loudly cleared his throat.

Everything in the clearing stopped and every eye slowly turned in his direction.

Perfect! He was now the center of attention. "As wonderful as all of this bonding is," he drawled, "I think we should probably get started now."

Sakura's mouth opened in a snarl. "YOU'RE LATE!"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "We've been waiting on you, Kakashi."

He quickly whipped out his book and pretended to read. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

The boy growled. "Kakashi! I'm not Gai!"

The Jounin patiently ignored that statement.

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "Can we please get started?" he begged.

Kakashi smiled. "Wonderful idea, small child!"

The Uchiha glared. "And just what are we going to do, anyway?"

"Better not be the bell exercise, Sensei," Naruto advised. "I already know the trick to that one."

He sighed. "Now, now, Naruto...would I ever do something you expect?"

"...You mean, besides the porn?"

That little jerk! "Yes, besides the porn," he replied with a smile and a touch of KI. Darn kid was getting too uppity.

Naruto didn't even blink. "Whatever."

Kakashi gritted his teeth, but the grin never left his face. "Anyway, today, we're going to play a little game...called Retrieval."

Even the stoic Sasuke and fuming Sakura blinked in confusion. Naruto just deadpanned, "Oh, happy day."

"Aw, don't be like that, Naruto! Trust me—you'll love it."

"Okay, I'll bite. What are we supposed to do?"

"We-e-e-ell, the first step is to..." He hurriedly pulled out a seal tag from his sleeve, activated it, and slapped it on his brother's forehead before he could react. "...level the playing field a bit."

The boy's blue eyes widened for a moment before he suddenly leaned over and began gasping for breath. "What...did you...do?" he hissed.

"Oh, just lowered your chakra by half..."

"I'll kill you," Naruto snarled as he unsuccessfully tried to peel the paper off. (Too bad for the blonde it would react to Kakashi's chakra only.)

"...and took away, say, fifty percent of your chakra control at the same time."

A tiny squeak of rage left Naruto's mouth.

Kakashi took it as some form of shocked, wordless wonder. "I think that'll make it rather hard for you to kill me, too. Hmm."

"KAKASHI!"

"Alright, already, Naruto!" Sakura snapped. "We need to figure out what we're supposed to do!"

The blonde boy fumed but wisely remained silent.

Sakura smirked in wicked glee. "Guess you're not such a hot-shot, after all, Naruto."

Naruto snarled. "Shut up, you pink-haired pansy!"

They argued for another minute or so, until Sakura managed to bop the boy on the back of the head, sending him to the ground. If the ANBU had been at full strength, she could never have managed that, but Naruto was significantly weakened and off-balance. His level was now no higher than his teammates'...for the most part. He'd still have to watch the boy's taijutsu.

The blonde gingerly raised himself up from the ground with a few rude comments. Other than that and a few death-ray glares in her direction, though, he was silent.

Really, those two were so cute together! He couldn't wait to tell Rin! She and Konohamaru would love hearing about every last detail. "Thank you, Sakuta," he said with a gigantic, beaming grin. (She sputtered something about her name being "Sakura," but who cared about such minor details?) "Now, then, you three will be chasing down...this!" he joyously shouted as he pulled out a copy of the most wonderful literature in the world.

"Icha Icha? Sensei, are you serious?" Sasuke spat in disgust.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Aren't those things banned in, like, three whole countries, eighteen cities, and almost every—"

"A-hem!"

They all went silent again.

"Good. Now, as I was saying, your mission is to retrieve this wonderful example of what true literature should be from these guys. And it has to be back in my hands by, say, 6:00 p.m."

"...Er, Kakashi, which guys?"

He blinked as though he'd forgotten—which he hadn't, of course. "Oh, right!" Quickly, he pulled out a scroll from his vest and swiped a little blood on it. A burst of chakra later, and a large group of dogs was lounging around his feet.

Naruto slapped his forehead. "Oh, this is a nightmare," he muttered.

"What do you mean, Naruto?"

"You ever tried to catch a squirrel that just drank a shot of caffeine, Sakura?"

"...No, but I can imagine it'd be difficult. What does it have to do with this, though?"

"They're worse," he moaned. "Those are nin-dogs; they know how to use chakra."

Sasuke sputtered. "Aw, shi-"

"Now, now, children. Watch your language." He turned to his dogs. "Pakkun, you remember the plan?"

The Copy-nin only paid the slightest attention to the sound of Naruto's whimpering.

"Yup," the bored pug replied. Then, it leapt up and snatched the book from his hand before running off. As though that had been the signal—and it had—each of his dogs followed. They disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Naruto's whimpering grew louder.

Kakashi's smile grew bigger. He was loving the game already.


2:09

"That—that's what he did to Naruto?" Ibiki whispered in horror.

"I'm not sure. I only caught a glimpse and the memories are so shadowy and vague that it's hard to tell, but it looks like it and would explain quite a few things."

"Is Sarutobi aware of this?" Ibiki asked.

His former teacher shook his head. "No, the Hokage doesn't have a clue what I saw. I told him a few things but not everything."

Ibiki cursed. "And the side effects...were those intentional?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I've no idea. Maybe it was meant to be some form of protection, just in case, but it backfired. Combine that with the Kyuubi and the massacre and we've got a very emotionally unstable boy on our hands. We can't allow him to stay this way."

The bald man pinched his nose in frustration. "We've tried everything we can think of to bring back that smart-mouthed, fun-loving kid, and we still see him sometimes, but...it hasn't worked. You know, at first we even thought it was just the ANBU training that was getting to him. I mean, they put him in the more intensive stuff right after the incident, so we figured that was it."

"But it wasn't."

"No, and when I found out he'd sought help from you, of all people, I..." The words 'I felt so useless' went unsaid.

Inoichi cleared his throat. "Naruto came to me because he didn't want to worry you or anyone else. He also knew you'd be too close to the situation to think rationally."

Ibiki looked up in surprise at that.

"Don't be so shocked. You should know better than anyone that, while he's not book smart, he's amazing at reading people and situations; that's where he gets his ability to create crazy, working strategies on the fly. Sometimes, Naruto understands people on a level I can't." He smiled faintly. "Did you know that I had offered to teach him my clan techniques?"

The Special Jounin's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Inoichi nodded.

"But—hey! You wouldn't even teach me those!" There was a vague sense of jealousy, but Ibiki ruthlessly ignored it.

His old boss laughed. "What, like you needed them?"

The large man growled out, "Still could've offered, you jerk."

The blonde shrugged. "Could've, but I didn't. And it turns out that little brat didn't need them, either. In fact, he turned me down flat when I offered. You see, I can enter a person's mind and see his memories; he can look at the same guy and see his feelings, which is something I can't access. Lying, fear, hatred—he can read them all and easily use them against that person. In the end, the only thing I could teach the boy was how to build up a wall to block off his own memories for short periods of time." He sighed and settled back into his chair. "Believe me when I say that wasn't easy."

"This is ridiculous," Ibiki muttered. "He had the opportunity to learn clan-only jutsu and turned it down. What was he thinking?" Okay, maybe he wasn't ignoring that jealousy as much as he'd thought.

Inoichi smirked. "Oh, they still would've been clan-only. My teaching them would've come with a betrothal agreement to my daughter."

"Y-you were going to make him your son-in-law?" he yelled as his jaw dropped.

The clan head nodded. "You bet I was. He's the most powerful ninja of his generation and knows waaay too many of this village's secrets. Not only that, but even with his power he's actually fairly humble, compared to most ninja I've met. If you don't count his occasional bad attitude, that is."

Ibiki broke in. "That's because he knows the cost of such strength. Take a look at what Itachi was forced to do just because he was strong. Just the thought of it makes him bitter and resentful. Naruto once told me that, regardless of his orders, he would never kill us for peace," Ibiki finished with a snort. "It's hard to believe because he's so rude sometimes..."

Inoichi chuckled. "Agreed. It was very difficult for me to earn his respect. But even aside from his personality issues, keeping him in the clan would be in our best interests. Plus, it would have had the added bonus of keeping Ino out of fangirl-mode. Not sure if I can ever forgive him for turning me down..." he finished with an irritated huff.

Ibiki laughed. "You're going to blame Naruto for Ino's obsession with Sasuke? Oh, that's rich!" Then, he stopped laughing. "Hey, would you have made me marry some girl in return for the techniques?" That'd be one way to get a wife; though not the ideal method, it was worth considering.

"Of course," he replied matter-of-factually. "Right after her birth, I would've betrothed you to Ino, instead."

Ibiki choked. That was not what he had in mind at all. "P-p-please tell me you're kidding."

The blonde blinked in genuine confusion. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she's just a kid! I'm more than ten years her senior!"

Inoichi rolled his eyes. "Betrothal, not marriage. The actual wedding would've waited until she was of age."

"So? It's not just about years; it's also about generational differences. I saw war and torture," he replied as he pointed to his covered head. "She's seen gossip and makeup disasters. We'd never have anything in common."

His former teacher chuckled. "Just wait until she matures. Maybe then you'll see something you like."

Ibiki was flabbergasted. Was this guy actually implying...? "You mean, you still want me to—you really are nuts, you know that?"

The man snorted. "There are only a few men I would ever trust with my daughter, and that would be you, Naruto, Shikamaru, or Choji. I'd add the Aburame boy to that list if I thought she could handle the bugs, but the Uchiha boy I will never be able to fully trust because of his family history." He sighed. "And for your information, I don't expect you to marry her. I'm just saying that if you ever become interested, you already have my permission to court her, as do the others I mentioned."

Like that was any different! He'd be robbing the cradle! "Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks," the Special Jounin replied, feeling vaguely nauseated at just the thought.

Inoichi shrugged. "I didn't expect you to say yes, either, which is the second reason I never offered to teach you my jutsu. Otherwise, I would've the second we found out Tomomi was carrying a little girl."

Ibiki shuddered inwardly at the thought, and then his eyes narrowed. What was the old man playing at? "Then, why even tell me?"

A sad smile appeared on the blonde's face. "Because I've always wanted you to be my real son. This is as close as it gets and I want you to consider it."

The scarred man winced and grimaced on the inside. This conversation was not making him comfortable. They were supposed to be making plans for Naruto, not Inoichi's future grandchildren. "Look, I really," as in really, really, really, "don't see it happening." Never. Not in a million years. "But I'll k-keep it in mind," he managed to force out. It was a blatant lie, the first and only one he'd ever told to his former sensei, and the interrogator felt no shame for it.

Inoichi's smile seemed to brighten up the whole office. "That's all that I ask."

'Thank God.'

"Now, about Naruto...do you think he'd be interested?"

That was not what Ibiki had meant.


3:18

Two hours later, Naruto was close to screaming, Sakura was almost in tears, and Sasuke had a visible tick above his eye. Occasionally, the dark-haired boy would even twitch; combined with the peculiar light in his eyes, it gave him the appearance of a homicidal maniac.

Naruto didn't blame him and was pretty sure he looked about the same underneath his mask. So far, they'd been bitten, run down, chewed, dragged along the ground, bowled over, and peed on...several times over. And the mongrels could run up trees and across water because they could use chakra, so there was no cornering them. Their endeavor to retrieve that ridiculous book was proving to be less than successful.

It wasn't that they couldn't find the book. Oh, no, Pakkun made sure to stay within sight at all times, sleeping beneath a large tree with Icha Icha sitting on his paws. He never moved. The problem was that the other dogs tended to run interference and were excellent at dodging projectiles like weapons and fireballs (and there had been plenty of those). It quickly became clear that, in order to get to the pug, they had to get through the other dogs first. Sasuke and Naruto were getting pretty tired, though, so the fireballs were coming less often and they were running out of options.

They could sniff out traps pretty well, too, so those were of no use. Sakura had been surprisingly helpful in that regard, forcing Naruto to reevaluate some of his opinions regarding her. She'd created some rather deadly and interesting traps that he would not have thought her capable of making. For that alone, he figured he shouldn't be so hard on her. Not everyone grew up like he had, anyway. Maybe he could help her train or something later as a way of apologizing.

But in the meantime, they had to get to that pug!

"Don't you have any plans, Naruto?" Sasuke demanded.

"Oh, you mean, aside from the seven that have already failed?" he snapped back. "How about you propose one?"

"Because you know Kakashi-sensei and this mutt; Sakura and I don't. You're the logical choice for it."

"Yeah, well, there's a reason I've never beaten them!"

"Why? 'Cause you're a loser?"

"No, because it's Kakashi-freakin'-Sharingan!"

"He has the Sharingan? How the heck did he-"

"How should I know?"

"What are you, some sort of idiot?"

"Bastard! You take that back!"

"Make me...if you can!"

Just then, Sakura broke in. "Guys..." she muttered darkly, "I'm gonna count to three, and if you two morons haven't shut up by the time I'm finished, I'll pummel you both into the ground. Got it?"

For some odd reason, neither he nor Sasuke bothered to doubt her (for once) and they promptly shut their mouths.

"Now that you two are quiet, let's go over a few facts." She grabbed their arms and pulled them into a small huddle to hide their voices from the amused dogs that were just sitting and watching them. "First of all, they always stay where we can see them. Second, our target is Pakkun, not the others. Third, they're dogs. Can you two boys guess which of these facts is the one we should find most useful?"

Naruto was drawing a blank. He'd gone up against the pug and his posse numerous times as punishment for not doing his homework, as training, or just because Kakashi had been bored or in an especially bad mood that day. Not once had he ever beaten them, although this was also the first time he'd been told to retrieve something. (All other times, the orders had been to "survive and hide," and, as previously stated, he'd always failed.)

Sasuke looked every bit as confused as Naruto felt and shrugged to show it.

Sakura slapped her forehead. "Great. My two teammates are morons..."

"Hey!" the dark-haired Uchiha said, as he was evidently not used to being insulted by this particular female.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "I don't want to hear one more peep out of you unless you've got something useful to say!"

Naruto snickered, finding the situation suddenly hilarious.

She turned to him with fire in her green eyes. "And that goes for you, too!"

He stopped and coughed nervously at her dangerous tone. "Uh...okay, then, what ideas do you have?"

She sighed. "They're dogs. Think about it! What do dogs like?"

"...Food, belly-rubs, females in heat if they're male, and things to chase and play with," Naruto answered hesitantly.

"Right! Naruto, can you make any more clones?"

He grimaced. "Yeah, but it takes a lot out of me, thanks to this seal. I could probably spare seven or eight. What do you have in mind?"

Sakura smirked and turned to Sasuke without giving him an answer. "And you're pretty decent with genjutsu, right?"

The dark-haired Uchiha blinked. "Yeah...why?"

"Simple; you're going to make the clones, Naruto, and Sasuke's going to place a genjutsu over them to make them look and smell just like a herd of deer."

"I can take care of the Transformations, but those don't incorporate scents. I guess that's the reason for the genjutsu, but why deer?"

"You ever seen a dog chase one of those animals?"

Both boys shook their heads.

"They're almost impossible to stop. It's like they can't help themselves, and I think it has something to do with how they smell. So...what do you say? You guys up for it?"

"Sure, but what will you be doing?" Sasuke asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "Grabbing that pug."

"Need some explosives?" Naruto offered.

"I've got some high-quality wire and razor-sharp shuriken in my pouch," Sasuke said, just a bit too eagerly to be healthy.

But their female teammate shook her pink head. "No, this requires stealth. All I'll really need is to be sneaky—don't look at my hair like that! I always managed just fine in the academy, so I'll manage fine h—Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Giving you my mask. Despite what you say, Pakkun will notice your shampoo, if nothing else. This'll at least help hide it," he said as he finished pulling it free from his face. "Here," the blonde said, handing it out to her, "put it on."

Sakura got a strange, glazed look in her eyes and stared at the item he was giving her. "Uh...o-okay. Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet; it probably smells like sweat."

"...Wonderful." The pink-haired girl placed it over her head, covering nose, mouth, and ears. "Ewww..." she groaned.

"Does it smell like sweat?" Sasuke asked a little too eagerly.

"That, and—Naruto! Get some breath mints!"

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. "I had something spicy in my food. Probably garlic, too. Sorry."

"Good job, loser," Sasuke said as he slapped the ANBU on the back.

"Geez, can you two just go ahead and do your part? Go...hide in the woods or something till you're ready. I'll start sneaking up on that pug."

They stared. Naruto, because she was a lot better than he'd given her credit for. Sasuke watched because...actually, he had no idea why the Uchiha was staring, but it sure annoyed her.

"Go!" she snapped. "Idiots..."

As the two boys ran off to do as she had ordered, Naruto realized something both horrifying and funny; he liked his new team. It was fun getting to yell at someone other than his brothers, for a change. And he'd been so busy arguing with them that he hadn't had a single flashback the whole time.

At that realization, the blonde stopped dead in his tracks, shock all over his face. "No...no way..." Was it true, then? Did he just need to get used to being around living people in order to forget the dead? Or was it just waiting for later to kick in? For once, Naruto honestly hoped it was the first.

Sasuke, who was now ahead of him, called over his shoulder, "Hurry up, loser!"

Naruto's head shot up and saw how far behind he was and hurried to catch up. Once they were both within the cover of the trees, he created his clones—and wasted a lot of energy in the process, thanks to his now-lousy chakra control—and Sasuke immediately began weaving a genjutsu around them once they'd been Transformed. It brought a question to Naruto's mind.

"Genjutsu are illusions that affect the chakra within the mind, right?"

"Hn," Sasuke agreed.

"Then, how does putting one on my clones affect the dogs' sense of smell?" He'd always wondered about that but had never actually asked. Now he wanted to know for future reference.

The Uchiha paused for a second to answer. "Simple. It's a genjutsu based on proximity. The first thing we do is use a basic Transformation to affect sight; your clones already take care of sound, since they're solid. Then, I use the genjutsu to affect smell, and it only activates once another chakra signature is close by, which would be the dogs, in this case. It literally has to get close enough to affect their brains and senses of smell."

"Sweet. Maybe I should take a closer look..." With that, he unfocused his eyes and concentrated on the chakra coming from his teammate's hands. It looked like a mist of blue settled over his clones and hovered around them, except that thin tendrils were making their way to both his and the Uchiha's nose as though being drawn by a magnet. "So, that's how it works. No wonder I can't do it; that's gotta require some fine-tuned control."

"Huh?" Sasuke spat out in confusion. "What are you talking about? What do you mean, 'that's how it works'?"

Naruto shrugged. "It's just something I can do. I'm a bit of a chakra sensor, so I guess you could say I 'saw' what the genjutsu did."

"You mean...like the Sharingan or the Byakugan?"

"Uh, no, not really. I mean, I can see chakra, but that's it. There's no x-ray vision like the Hyuggas have, though walls don't restrict my vision, and I also can't copy or memorize techniques, although I do get a better idea of how they work. Heck, I've even started noticing the differences in the elements the chakra is attuned to. Water sort of...flows more smoothly." He didn't bother telling Sasuke that it occasionally changed. He wasn't sure why, but when the moon was brighter, his second sight seemed to...intensify. All he and his brothers had been able to figure out was that it had something to do with moonlight, though what was still a mystery. No other eye techniques—genetic or otherwise—reacted that way.

"...Why are you telling me all of this?"

Naruto shrugged. "You're my teammate. You should know. Now, how about we go and back Sakura up? She's in position now."

Sasuke smiled. "Right."

Those mutts would never know what hit them.


3:27

Sakura was rather surprised the dogs hadn't followed after the boys; they'd merely sat or laid down and waited patiently, as though knowing the boys would be back, which they would...but how did the dogs know?

Either way, her job was top priority right now. It was essential that she sneak up on that little...mutt and snag that book from him, and though she was loathe to admit it, the black mask Naruto had provided probably helped her blend in much better than she would've otherwise. Pink hair had a tendency to stand out, after all.

So did shampoo, now that she thought about it. In fact, as she snuck up on the pug—who was contentedly lying beneath a tree snoring while, unknown to him, all his guards were just then running off after a herd of deer—Sakura noticed that she could not only smell the shampoo but also identify it.

'HEY! That's MY signature scent!' she realized with shock. But she couldn't pause now; she had a job to do and could not fail! Each movement was precise, measured. Every breath was quietly shallow. Sasuke would be so impressed! Not even her clothes rustled, and...

Step...

Pakkun didn't so much as twitch.

Step

He hadn't moved. She hadn't been caught! It was working!

Step

It was working! Still working! Her hand inched forward and her fingertips touched the book on the dog's forepaws-

"Finally!" the gruff pug exclaimed.

Sakura shrieked and jumped high in the air. She landed on her butt and quickly scrambled backwards. In the background, the girl noticed two distinct voices belonging to her teammates shouting in worry. They were heading her way, but would they arrive in time? She really didn't want to be peed on again.

"You know, you pups take forever!" Pakkun snapped. Then, without further delay, the pug took the book in his jaws and flung it at her. "Here! Take it and leave me alone!"

Sakura stared and blinked at the orange...thing that was sitting on her chest. It was half-covered in slime; there was no way she was touching that. "W-w-wha-?"

Pakkun began muttering to himself as he sat up and looked forlornly at the dirt. "Just wanted a li'l nap, but no-o-o-o. Your pack and mine just had to make it noisy. And it's been going on for hours." His soul-searching eyes met hers. "I'm tired and I want to go home. Take the porn to Kakashi and pass, already." The tiny dog looked down again, sadness radiating from his body. "He won't dispel us till you do..."

"Ooookay." She was rather...confused.

"Sakura!" Sasuke called, running up to her through the trees with Naruto right beside him.

Naruto...his face wasn't gorgeous, like Sasuke's was, but still! Why would anyone cover up that? And those marks on his cheek were so cute! Ino would just die when she told her!

"Sakura, you okay?" the subject of her thoughts asked her.

"Y-yeah, I think." She glanced down at the disgusting thing still sitting on her chest. The pink-haired girl reaaaally didn't want to touch it, but neither did she want either one of her teammates to reach for it. That would be...awkward due to its location. Reluctantly, she used two fingers to gingerly grasp the very edge and quickly dropped it on the ground. "Pakkun gave us the book, so we should take it to Kakashi-sensei now so that we can pass." She stood and glanced at the two males. "Er, would one of you mind carrying it?"

Naruto sighed and snatched it up. "C'mon, now, let's go find Ka-"

Before the blonde—Ino would be so jealous when she heard that there was another blonde around—could finish his sentence, a burst of smoke surrounded all three of them, and once they'd stopped coughing (Sakura remembered the mask and pulled it off), a voice spoke.

"Well, well, so you succeeded, after all." Kakashi's eye creased. "I think I'm really beginning to like you, my cute, little students!" Then, the strange, silver-haired Jounin clapped his hands, dismissed his dogs, and said, "Now that you have passed my test, it's time for..."

Sakura was excited. "Our first mission?"

Sasuke was equally excited. "Will we be protecting a princess?

The mask fell to the ground as she jumped around and Naruto sighed and picked it up. She ignored him. "Escorting a noble?"

"Fighting off a group of missing-nin?"

"Tell us, tell us!"

"Yeah, Kaka-sensei," Naruto snickered through his mask, "tell us."

Kakashi's one eye was wide and blinking. "Er, actually, I was about to say that it's time for a snack."

The Uchiha and the Haruno fell down. Naruto was clutching his stomach and laughing.

"W-what?" she asked as she got to her feet, confused.

Their sensei scratched the back of his head. "We-e-e-ell, it's after 3:00. It's really too late for lunch and too early for dinner, but you're all probably hungry, anyway, so...it's time for a snack!"

"O...kay," Sasuke said as he, too, stood back up. "What are we going to eat? We didn't exactly bring anything."

Naruto shifted guiltily for a reason she couldn't figure out. "Right," he muttered.

"Ah, that is an easy thing to solve!" announced Kakashi with a flourish. "We shall..."

Sakura and Sasuke leaned forward eagerly. "We shall...?" they repeated.

"Oh, geez," Naruto sighed.

"We shall...go home!" And with that, their obnoxious sensei disappeared, leaving just fast enough to avoid the kunai and shuriken that had been lodged his direction.

It was not the best of times.

She headed home with her hair in disarray and her outfit ripped and stained. Thank goodness she had ten more sets just like it! In the meantime, she wore a basic Transformation go avoid the worst of the gawkers, even though Sasuke—the only one who mattered—had already seen and smelled her. In fact, now that she thought of it, she was rather glad they hadn't gone out to eat; she was in no state to be in public! People were already staring enough as it was.

The moment she walked in the door, though, her mother (who was conveniently sitting on the couch) took one glance at her and shrieked. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?"

Oh. She'd forgotten to Transform that, too. Oops. Sure did explain a lot of the stranger looks she'd seen on the street.

"Er, I met my new team today, Mom, and we were doing some training."

Lady Haruno was not convinced. "Oh, and just what sort of 'training' includes bits of nature as souvenirs?" she asked as she walked up and plucked a twig with foliage still attached right out of her hair.

Sakura thought there might have been a worm hanging onto one of the leaves, but she refused to take a closer look to make sure.

"We were training outdoors, Mom."

"You did that all the time at the Academy, but you never came home looking like this."

"Yeah, well, the Academy went easy on us. Kakashi-sensei showed us that in no uncertain terms..."

"Kakashi?" her mother repeated. "As in, Kakashi Hatake?"

Sakura blinked. "Yes, I'm pretty sure that's his name. Why?"

Lady Haruno looked extremely worried. "Oh, honey, I don't know about this..."

"'This' what?"

"This ninja thing, that's what! You're my only child! I don't want to lose you like I lost your father!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. Her mother had been doing this for the last several months; every time she came home with a scrape or a bruise, the woman would fret. She couldn't figure out the reason for the sudden change in attitude, and it was quickly getting old. "Mom, I'm a ninja now and there's no changing that."

"But you don't have to go on all those higher-ranked missions, do you? You could just stay home and take a desk job-"

"NO! That's YOUR life, not mine! I refuse to sit around at home all day just so YOU'LL feel better! I'm not made of glass!"

"But you could—probably will die!"

"Gotta go sometime, Mom. Might as well be in a way worth remembering."

"Sakura!"

But the girl simply climbed the stairs to her room. She understood the woman's fear; the life of a ninja was filled with grief and violence. However, despite that, Sakura just knew the life of a civilian would never suit her. It wasn't about honor and glory in battle. It was about protecting what little she had left after her father's death. Her obsession with Sasuke had made that desire...foggy over the years, but something about being yelled at (by Naruto), peed on and bitten (by the dogs), and the slight gleam of respect in Sasuke's eyes had reminded her that she'd really let herself go.

Naruto, as cruel as his words yesterday—and this morning—had been, was right. She needed a lot of work before she was ready to go on practically any real missions. But that didn't mean the blonde wasn't still a jerk, and Sakura had gladly told him so to his face! The result had been less than pleasant, and yet she was ridiculously pleased with herself for having stood up to him.

But now what? Just because she'd screamed her head off didn't mean she didn't have some serious work to do. The pink-haired Genin needed to train, but with whom? It being virtually impossible to refine and learn certain skills by herself made it imperative that she find a trainer or partner, and preferably as soon as possible. However, even as she squeezed her eyes shut to consider it, only a few names were coming to mind: Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei.

Kakashi was a given; of course he'd teach her. Sasuke...maybe it'd be better if she didn't count on him. Every time Sakura got close to the dark-haired Uchiha, her brain went all to mush. 'With good reason, too,' her mind supplied. 'Who could concentrate around a face like that?' And Naruto was an automatic "NO!" Even though there was probably much to learn from the cute blonde, he'd only treat her with contempt, and she didn't need that right now. In the meantime, there was something she'd noticed and wanted to try out...

Ten minutes later, the girl was stripped and staring at a bathtub full of water. After a full minute of staring and thinking about how Kakashi's dogs had run across a small stream, she directed a small amount of chakra to her feet and stepped into the tub.

For a moment, she stayed and thought, 'I did it! I actually did it!' But just a split second later, her feet slipped below the surface. Sakura blinked in confusion and tried it again, thinking her concentration had wavered, only to be met with the same results. It took the girl a few more tries to get the hang of letting a constant flow of chakra out of her feet, but once she had it figured out...

"Hey, this isn't so bad! It's pretty easy!" She danced around on the water until she remembered her wonderful Day at the Park, as she decided to sarcastically call it, and got down to scrubbing every inch of her body free of...certain fluids from dogs with full bladders and much drool. 'If I get even one scar because of their claws, those mutts are gonna pay...' The whole thing made her shudder in disgust, though even that could not take away her excitement at having made some sort of progress in such a short time span.

Sakura, after some food and relaxation, passed the night away dreaming of success, Sasuke, and their future children. Perhaps if she used that new conditioner she'd seen in the store the other day, he would notice! (Despite her improvements, she was, after all, still twelve.)


Preview of a future chapter (just for fun):

A strange scraping sound filled his ears, forcing him to look up from the small child desperately clutching his hand. The bridge was supposedly only a few feet away, but with all the fog surrounding them, it was impossible to tell where, exactly, the noise was coming from, much less where he and the tiny girl were standing. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. He had to get her out of there! But how?

The scraping sound was getting louder, and his eyes darted left and right. He'd have to take a chance. Bending his knees and applying a small amount of chakra, he prepared to leapt to the right, hoping it would be the right direction, but to his shock, a hand reached out and grabbed his ankle. The girl began to scream at the sight of the half-dead boy with one eye hanging out of his skull.

"Help...me...!" Sasuke groaned.

Naruto realized with a shock what was going on. "No...this never happened..." he muttered. "It never..." Anger filled his heart, and the hand that was not holding onto the child clenched so hard that a fine stream of blood flowed down his knuckles and onto the ground. "Leave me alone!" he whispered harshly. "I'm sick of this!"

The hand grasping his ankle spasmed in pain. "Naru...to...help!"

But Naruto glared and wrenched his leg away. "No. No more." With the little girl, who was crying and whimpering, in his arms, he turned his back on the grotesque scene before him and walked away.

End of preview. I'm sure some of you can figure out what was going on in that little snippet, but don't ruin it for those who can't. Anyway, let's just say that, whatever chapter that happens to be, it will go a long ways towards explaining Naruto's mental condition.


Author's Corner:

I don't particularly feel like anything needs to be stated here, except for the following: I knew that I'd attract some God-like Naruto lovers by putting "ANBU Naruto" in this story's summary. For those of you that fit in that category and are still reading right now, I have one thing to say to you...

This is not and never will be an overpowered Naruto story. Throwing a tantrum by saying I "ruined" it for you because Naruto's "not the strongest" doesn't move me in the slightest. You want overpowered characters? Go read the manga. This is my story; if you don't like it, write your own. He's twelve, short, and temperamental. And comparing him to Itachi and Sasuke is stupid. Naruto is Naruto, and he's not a genius, much less Itachi or Sasuke. It's the same as saying that, because Suzy is doing well in Math, Bobby should be doing well, too, since they have the same class with the same teacher and everything. Use your brains, sweetheart.

For all others who are reading this story and do NOT fit in that category, please excuse the rant. I tend to be rather rude when dealing with idiots.

Ah, to answer another question before it becomes a problem: There are no pairings at this stage of the story with Naruto. He's twelve. There might be childish crushes, political maneuvering, etc., but true love? Nope. Not gonna happen. There will be no voting over this issue. Maybe when he matures and becomes an adult, but not a moment before.

As for my issue regarding reviews—I don't need them to survive. I think they're a nice gesture, but I'll continue writing what I want regardless of what they do or don't say. And there will never be any kind of poll. Ever. This story (not the characters or parts that belong to Kishimoto, of course) belongs to me and I am very possessive of it.

Lednacek—in answer to your question about the timeskip, yes, I did mention it. It just wasn't exactly obvious. In essence, you're absolutely right. *shrugs* My bad. Actually, thanks for pointing that out. I meant to put that first part at the end of chapter six but forgot and just pasted it to the first part of chapter seven. I'll probably go back and fix it later, but I just plain don't feel like it right now.

Oh, keep an eye on Sakura's emotional outbursts. That's all :)