Hello my loyal friends! Here is the next part for you. I wrote this one especially for all my wonderful reviewers! I have no idea where this freaking story is going anymore. It has taken off on its own and has created its own ideas. I think it's going in one direction and I start writing and something else happens instead. I hope you guys enjoy this. Thanks for reading!
PS- My next one won't be for a few days... And by a few days I mean probably not until like Friday or something. I'm warning you now because I'm sorry it'll take so long. Insane week ahead of me!
Olivia stared at the ceiling and blinked. It had been nearly two hours since the women had laid down and she still wasn't asleep. She knew it had nothing to do with not being tired and everything to do with the gorgeous blonde laying approximately 2 inches from her right side. The woman's proximity was keeping Olivia wide awake.
Alex was laying on her side, facing the brunette. She was fast asleep, and had been that way for the past hour or so. Her hand was tucked under Olivia's pillow for comfort, but other than that, she was on her side of the bed and there was no contact between the two. Olivia was both relieved and disappointed that the blonde was keeping to herself. She had been trying to control her thoughts and breathing, hoping that she could trick herself into falling asleep. So far, it wasn't going well. The only thing that was going well was her imagination: dozens of scenarios kept popping into her head about how she would take Alex if she could. She tried to force her mind to behave, but it wouldn't.
She looked over at the blonde who was sleeping so soundly next to her. When they had first laid in bed, Olivia had kept herself as close to the edge as she could. However, Alex refused to allow that and had tugged on the brunette's arm to pull her closer to the middle. They laid side by side for a while, but Olivia had not succeeded in relaxing because she was paranoid to touch the woman next to her.
The brunette couldn't help the smile that formed on her face as she remembered what Alex had done to solve that problem.
"Why are you so tense?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can tell you're on edge, Liv. If I'm making you uncomfortable…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to impose or anything."
Olivia could almost feel the sadness in Alex's voice.
"No, it's not that."
"Then what is it?"
Olivia paused.
"I just am really worried about touching you, Alex. Earlier...it didn't go so well. Not that I'm trying to punish you for that. I'm just worried now that I'll cause the same reaction and I don't want that."
Rather than respond, Alex slid over to where Olivia was laying. She tucked her hand around Olivia's bicep, laid her head right next to the woman's, and, shifting to her side, rested her lower body against Olivia's right leg.
"There. Now you don't have to worry."
Olivia couldn't respond. She was too busy focusing on controlling her breathing. Too much was going on at once. Her throat was completely dry and she couldn't think. Her heart rate had doubled and she could feel herself sweating at having Alex so close. She could do nothing but feel. She could smell Alex, and feel her… and damn the woman felt good. Her hand and body were so soft against Olivia's skin. Olivia knew she was wet, but this had made it ten times worse. She wasn't sure which emotion was reigning more over her being: happiness or hatred. She loved being so close to the blonde, but it was wreaking havoc on her body.
Olivia was pulled from her reverie as a shiver passed down her spine. Alex was shifting next to her and her wrist had brushed against Olivia's shoulder. Just that simple contact made Olivia's body react.
She quietly laid there, waiting for Alex to settle down. However, instead of settling, Alex became more active. Before she started to toss and turn, Olivia decided to reach a hand over and placed it on the blonde's arm. She shook her gently and whispered her name. The woman breathed in deep and opened her eyes wide.
"Liv?"
She stayed wide-eyed for a moment before she began to blink and push herself up, looking around the room.
"Where am I?"
The woman squinted. Olivia smiled reassuringly.
"You're back at my place."
Alex, confused, looked back at Olivia. It took a moment for the memories to come back, but when they did, Alex's shoulders relaxed.
"I guess I slept pretty hard. Sorry."
She laid back down, resting her head on her pillow. Olivia turned to face her.
"I'm sorry for waking you," Alex whispered.
"You didn't."
"You were already up?"
"Yes."
"Did you sleep at all?"
Alex knew the answer when Olivia stayed quiet.
"Is it me?"
Olivia wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was her, but not in the way she was asking.
"I take that as a yes."
"I didn't say anything."
"Exactly."
Olivia sighed.
"It's you but it's not. It's hard having you next to me, but it's not just that. Everything that happened is on my mind too."
"Why is it hard having me next to you?"
Olivia bit her bottom lip. She avoided the blonde's gaze for a minute, debating. The blonde's voice sounded so caring and inviting. She wanted to be honest with her, but she shouldn't. They really shouldn't be having this conversation at this time. But then again, she wanted to be honest. Should she tell her? Should she be honest, or should she wait? Did she even want to tell her?
Alex reached out and touched Olivia's face.
"Why is it hard?" she whispered.
"It's hard because…" Olivia cleared her throat. She searched for the words.
"Be honest, Liv."
Alex had a feeling she knew what the brunette was going to say. They had been dancing around this subject for so long that she was surprised this hadn't come up sooner. But then again, she wasn't really. Alex had been afraid to confront it, so she had avoided it completely. What did surprise her was that Olivia hadn't brought it up. Regardless, right now, for whatever reason, she wanted to talk about it. She was tired of pretending.
"Liv?"
The woman sighed.
"I think you know Alex. You're not an idiot."
"No, I'm not. But I'd still like you to tell me."
The darkness helped to encourage Olivia's honesty. She swallowed hard before beginning.
"It's hard to be next to you because we're so close. It's hard to be close to you." Olivia's thoughts were jumbled, and she was having a hard time expressing herself. "It's hard to concentrate on anything but you, and yet I can't focus on you either because of everything I'm feeling."
"What are you feeling?"
Olivia could feel her cheeks flush. Even though the blonde could hardly see her, she was still embarrassed.
"A lot of things."
"Like?"
"Like um," Olivia ran her fingers through her hair. "Jesus, this is hard. It's hard to lay next to you, it's hard to focus on sleep."
Olivia bit her lip and finally just forced herself to go for it.
"It's hard to not notice the fact that an absolutely stunningly gorgeous woman is laying right next to me and I can't touch her. Not in the way I've fantasized about anyways. It's hard not to notice how good you smell or how you make my body shiver when your hand touches my skin. It's hard to ignore the sound of my blood rushing in my ears or my heart racing in my chest. It's hard to sleep because I have about a thousand butterflies flapping around in my stomach because the woman who I've been attracted to for as long as I can remember is finally in my bed, but not for the reasons that I had always imagined."
Olivia stopped talking, blushing furiously. She waited, but Alex said nothing. Her heart sank when Alex got up to leave.
She felt the bed dip and before she could even register what was going on, the blonde was already laying against her and her lips were pressed to Olivia's. It took the brunette a second to realise that Alex hadn't gotten up to leave; she had gotten up to shift over to where the brunette was laying. As soon as her brain got over the shock of feeling soft, warm lips against her own, Olivia began to kiss back. She felt her whole body melt into Alex. Was this really happening? The blonde was softly caressing her lips, kissing her so gently that Olivia wasn't even sure it was happening. She could feel her entire body heat up and a million things were going through her mind.
She stopped thinking completely when she felt Alex's right hand stroking the side of her face, go down her neck, and travel down her arm until it reached her hand. Her belly dipped at the sweetness of the gesture: holding hands during their first kiss. And what a kiss. Olivia's head was spinning at everything this meant. Alex let out a small moan before she pulled away. She rested her forehead against Olivia's for a second before moving to lay completely on the woman.
The two women stayed silent as they caught their breath. It was Olivia who finally broke the silence a minute later.
"I wasn't quite clear on that. How do you feel about me?"
She could feel Alex vibrating against her, and when she did, she started giggling too.
"You're such a loser," came Alex's muffled response.
Olivia giggled again, raising their joined hands to intertwine their fingers. Alex stayed nestled in Olivia's shoulder for a moment, smiling as she enjoyed the contact of their joined bodies.
She purred when Olivia began to rub her back.
"Like that?"
"Love that."
She shifted her body to give Olivia better access to her back, forcing the brunette to suppress a groan at the feel of Alex's soft breasts pushed into her side. Olivia ignored the wetness between her legs for the tenth time that night and continued to rub the woman's back.
"We have so much to talk about."
"I know," Olivia answered.
"Are you serious? About what you said."
Olivia stopped rubbing her back.
"I've never been more serious about anything, Alex."
The blonde nodded, and Olivia resumed rubbing her back.
"Me too. I really like you, Liv. I have for a long time. I just… I was scared to admit it."
"I was too."
The brunette leaned down and they shared one more passionate kiss before laying back down.
"Do you think you can sleep now?"
Olivia chuckled.
"Without a doubt."
