A/N: Hey y'all! Here's the how this story ends. Thank yous go to lucky1961, Sachita, and Aquitane. Oh, and I changed the story title to "Meet the Parents: Dark Lord Edition" because I think it fits better. :D Enjoy!


She lead Tom out into the living room. "Mum, Dad, there's someone I want you to meet."

Tom smiled winningly at her parents. "Evening, sir," he said, addressing her father. "I apologize for the... abruptness of my visit."

"Sit down, Mr. Riddle," Robert McGonagall said.

"Call me Tom," he replied. He didn't receive a response, and Minerva prayed he wouldn't make a snide remark when he cast her a significant look; the corners of his mouth twitched as he suppressed a grin. "Thank you," he said at last. Minerva sat down next to him, and leaned against the cushions. Tom, at least, had the tact to not put his arm around her.

"Dad, this is Tom," she heard herself saying. "Tom, this is my father-"

"I saw that at once, thank you, Minerva," he said, inclining his head to Robert McGonagall. "You two are very alike in mannerism."

"Really? What prompts you to say that?"

"Well," Tom began, frowning thoughtfully and feigning concentration, "You are both rather authoritative, both rather stern, and neither of you seem willing to take crap from anyone." Minerva winced at his language. "Traits I very much admire, I might add." He glanced at her and smiled a bit. "I don't think any girl has ever told me to 'sod off' before."

Minerva winced again, this time openly.

Her father smiled a bit. "Why did you say something like that, Minerva?"

Before she can answer Tom speaks again. "Well, to be fair, I was rather rude. We had only started dating then, you see." Casually he picked up one of her hands from her lap, interlacing their fingers. "I haven't made a mistake like that since, I assure you. She's really reformed me." He rubbed her hand with his thumb. "Wouldn't you agree, Minerva?"

"Who would want to reform you?" she teased. "Who would dare try?" The two men continued to talk, from Tom's job and focus of magical research to Muggle politics. For the most part, she felt Tom did fairly well, but anxiously she watched for her father's reaction.

It was not what she wanted to see.

Robert McGonagall contemplated the two, a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. "Minerva, I don't like him."

"Oh shit," Minerva muttered. She saw Tom snap alert and his eyes flashed scarlet. "Here we go," she said in a sing-song voice. "Three... two... one..."

"WHAT?"

"Isobel, what do you think?" her father continued, putting Tom completely out of the question and ignoring his outburst. "Isn't he disgustingly charming? I think he's completely full of himself and overconfident in his ability to make a good first impression on us."

Isobel smiled at Tom pityingly. "Oh, I don't know about that...he's a step or two up from Dougal-"

"Only a step?" Tom sputtered indignantly, not helping his case at all.

"Shhh," Minerva soothed. "Of course not, you're wonderful. But shut up, you're embarrassing me."

"Damn it, I know that, and you know that-" Minerva rolled her eyes, as he'd missed the point- "but your father-"

"Shhhh," she said again. "You aren't doing yourself any good, you know."

"I don't think you should be seeing Minerva anymore, Tom," her father said loudly. "You're no different from the other men she's...courted. You're worse, actually. I've never seen this terrible a temper in anyone before. You would do well to read the Bible, or perhaps meditate on the source of all this unsightly rage."

Tom's eyes flashed scarlet again. "Are you f*cking kidding me?"

Minerva facepalmed. "Oh Tom, shut up, you were doing so well..."

"You're telling me I can't see your daughter anymore," he ranted. "Your adult, self-sufficient, no-longer-lives-under-your-roof daughter." It wasn't so much that he cared terribly about ending their relationship, though of course he had no incentive to do that. But who the hell did this Muggle think he was, telling him what he could and couldn't do?

Robert McGonagall didn't bat an eye. "Yes, that's about right."

Tom's eye twitched. "You're not even going to tell me why?"

"No, I don't think that's necessary, you display it every time you open your mouth." Minerva stealthily pocketed his wand, tucking into her dress. No one needed to risk getting hurt, not over something this stupid.

Tom didn't notice; he was completely unaccustomed to not getting his way, and was even more unaccustomed to not knowing why he wasn't getting his way. In the past, two or more horcruxes ago when his soul was more stable, he would behave rather like a petulant child, and either turn sullen and moody, or raise hell for any poor soul who happened to cross him. Now he was more likely to fall into a bout of rage, something that had frightened Minerva the first time he slipped up, but now only made her sigh and wait it out like a mother tired of her bratty, tantrum-throwing toddler. Sadly, today was no exception, and Minerva remained sitting on the couch, pinching the bridge of her nose and hoping the episode would be short, and everything would blow over.

Tom made an effort to compose himself. "You know, sir," he said, spitting out the honorific as if it were an insult, "I think that's something Minerva should decide for herself."

"Oh god. Leave me out of this," Minerva warned.

"Minerva, it's about you!"

She groaned. "Listen darling, we'll talk later-"

"No! There is no 'later'! Tell this imbe- tell your illustrious father you love me, that you won't-"

"Darling, of course I love you, but you need to calm-"

"Minerva, I love you," he continued as though he hadn't heard, "and if you have a problem with that-"

"What? You moron, I said-"

Tom waved away her words as if they were of no consequence while she seethed. "-and if you have a problem with that, or if your father does, there are ways to circumvent-"

"TOM!" Minerva barked, grabbing his shoulders, "you complete idiotic prat, will you shut the hell up and listen to me?"

Isobel and Robert McGonagall exchanged looks. Isobel couldn't sworn she saw her husband wink at her. "Tom," Minerva began again, "I love you. You know that. After this f*cking embarrassing scene you've caused, I'm pretty sure my family and a good portion of the neighbors know that too." She paused. "And I will continue to see you, but only once I've convinced my dad that you're as wonderful as I know you are."

"Did you not hear what he said-"

"Shut up, you moron, of course I did," she snapped. "And I'll convince him, trust me. But I can't estrange myself from my family, don't you understand, you close-minded twat?"

Tom wrapped his arms around her waist. "I have the utmost confidence in you, darling." It was interesting for the bystanders to note that he took all of her insults quietly.

"I know," she said, smiling. "And, not going to lie, the idea of not being able to see you-" she stopped suddenly, and narrowed her eyes at her parents -and brothers, who had returned once they heard a fight taking place- who were openly listening intently. "Are you all even going to pretend to give us some privacy?"

"Nah," Malcolm supplied helpfully.

"Hell no, keep going," Robert said. "I'm recording this for posterity."

"What?" Minerva said, and she heard Tom laugh.

"Keep going, Minerva."

"I'll deal with that later, but Malcolm, I appreciate the honesty." She turned back to Tom. "Right, Tom. The idea of not being able to see you is beyond awful. I can't even begin to imagine-"

"All right," Robert McGonagall said at last. "That's enough."

"Seriously, Dad?" she asked, genuinely hurt. "You're not going to let us finish?"

"No, I don't need to," he said. "I think Tom -vulgar language and temper aside- is a fine man, Minerva. Tom, I'm delighted to meet you."

Minerva and Tom exchanged looks. "This is the worst joke ever," Tom said at last. "People who pull this kind of weird-ass reverse psychology shit just piss me off." He caught himself. "Sorry, sir. Like you said... bad temper, bad language..."

Her father chuckled. "Well, with all your ranting you sufficiently proved to me that you do care about Minerva."

"I just can't believe I allowed myself to be played like that," Tom said, disgusted.

"Tom," Minerva said, taking his arm, "there are more important things than your bloody pride, okay?"

"Of course," he said, drawing her close. "You, for instance. Sir, forgive my outburst earlier. Or don't, it doesn't really make a difference to me anyway. Even so, I'm glad you approve."

"At this point," Malcolm interjected, "Dad has just pulled the terrible cliche of the overprotective father as well as the 'test the daughter's boyfriend through reverse psychology to see if he really does love her' in one go. It's almost as if we're pawns, manipulated by a bored teenager tuning out her calculus teacher."

"Yes," Tom agreed. "If so, she's certainly using what is among the most overdone of plot devices."

"Indeed," said Robert McGonagall. "I feel rather foolish now."

They all nodded sagely for a moment.

"I'll get dinner," said Isobel.

"I'll help," said Minerva.

"I'll be in London," Tom said. "Lovely meeting everyone... I think..."

"Tom, you're staying for dinner," Minerva said.

"Okay," Tom shrugged.

"Welcome, Tom," Robert McGonagall said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I look forward to getting to know you. You know," he added in an undertone, "I was rather concerned at first that you were one of those typical wizard snobs, convinced you could charm anyone with a maddeningly perfect manner. But when you exploded about not seeing Minerva, well, that was ample proof for me that you love her."

"Uh, sure," Tom said. "Of course. You two are much alike.."

"Looking forward to getting to know you," he repeated. "Ha! I'll tell you something else, too. From what little she mentioned of you in her letters -you know, Slytherin, a Parselmouth, a fascination with dark objects- I was afraid she may have entered a relationship with an aspiring Dark wizard!"

"Or lord," Tom added, not really joking. "You certainly know a lot about our world."

"Or lord," her father agreed. "Well, I look forward to our 'dinner with a dark lord,' if you will."

"As do I," Tom said. Hmmm. Dinner with a Dark Lord? Has a nice ring to it.


A/N: Heeey, guys. Stay tuned for the sequel, 'cuz this fic is done. As you can see teh crackfic took over. Damn plot bunnies XD Review please!