Chapter 7: School of the N00bs

"Really? These are my fake parents?"

"They were the only ones who would volunteer," Germany apologetically admitted

"Really?"

I had asked Germany and Matt to go find people who would volunteer to be my fake parents for today, but I never expected such irony. In front of me, standing quietly and patiently on the pavement of the parking lot was the ironic pair of Light Yagami and Lelouch Lamperouge. Now, if you didn't know a thing about these two, you wouldn't find any reason for the two of them in a group to be ironic. On the contrary, they could be clones if their faces and hair were the same. Though they had different methods, the two of them both had a desire to rule the world, regardless of how many people they would kill.

I sighed as I tried to figure out how we would pull this off. Sure, transportation to the school would be a bit of a problem, but not as much of a problem as it would be to calmly explain to the principal that I have two "daddies."

"Ah, okay; I've gotta be at the school by 1:00 today…" I thought aloud. "Light, would you be okay driving Matt's car there?"

"As long as I can air it out first," he replied. It was a quite well known fact that Matt was a frequent smoker, and if you couldn't tell at first glance, the putrid odor of his car would say it all.

"Good idea. Um… as awkward as this is, when we get there, you two are going to act as a gay couple…" I paused for a second to hold back a snort of laughter. "If they ask why I'm a ginger and you're not, just tell them I got if from the surrogate mother. Got it?"

"Yeah," the two of them simultaneously said, followed by a short moment with an absence of eye contact.

"Huh, getting into character already, hmm?" I humorously mocked them. Lelouch struggled not to blush at this. "Okay then," I continued. "We should only be gone for two hours or so, give or take. I'm going to go make sure everybody's opened up before I go get Joey. We'll be leaving later, so go hang out in your work places until about 12:30, okay?"

"Alright."

"Sounds good."

"Cool. Light, I'm going to go to the Video Cave and make sure Matt's car windows are open. We'll meet up there by 12:30, alright?"

"Alright. Thanks."

"No problem. Besides, I don't want to smell like cigarettes either," I replied with a grin.

I left them with that short word before starting my day. Thankfully, the entire day up till when we left was pretty average. Nobody gave me any major problems to deal with, nor did the customers have anything to complain about like they usually do. Sooner than I thought it would, time flew by and before I knew it, it was already 12:20. I decided to start walking to Matt's place by then. When I arrived, Light and Lelouch were already waiting by the car, both dressed like model citizens just coming back from a tidy office job. I happily nodded at their change of wardrobe before climbing into the back seat of the car which, for some reason, still reeked of cigarettes, burnt rubber and fried wires.

"God, now I know what the other principal meant when he said 'stinky'," I mentally said as I took another sniff and instantly thought of stinky teenagers.

We pulled out of the parking lot a few minutes later with half of the employees sadly waving goodbye to us as we drove out. Soon we were out onto the road. For me, it was the first time I've left the mall since the incident with Chuck Florris (who I was slightly hoping to see again.) I rarely leave the mall, being that it's my home and, in other words, my safety blanket. Therefore, if I were to ever leave, it would have to be for a pretty damn good reason. Sure, education was a good reason to leave, but not a good enough reason to give me any motivation.

After a few solid minutes of silently sitting in the car, the harassment-charged fan girl in me started to kick in a bit. I considered my words for a bit before saying aloud in a sly tone, "Hmm… I wonder."

"What?" Lelouch curiously asked while turning around a bit in his seat to look at me from the corner of his eye.

"Mmmmm… I got it!" I concluded, a creepy yet enthusiastic grin spread widely across my face. "He's the seme," I pointed at Lelouch. "And he's the uke," I pointed at Light. Now, I obviously knew that this assumption was a load of shit, but the ultimate goal of that was for me to be wrong. I mean, really… Lulu? Purple eyes? A CAPE? It screams uke! But, no: this statement was just a set up for my own personal amusement.

"Seme?" Lelouch exclaimed.

"Uke?" Light repeated even louder than Lelouch.

"You heard me," I said, leaning back in my seat to enjoy the show.

There was a short silence before Lelouch spoke up with a startled tone. "What in the world are you talking about? I feel so insulted!"

"Exactly! Why on earth would you even think to categorize us in that manor? I will not actually be referred to as homose-" Light yelled in an act of defending his heterosexual status. (Take a good look at your last name, Light! I dare you to spell it backwards!)

"He would be the seme and I would be the uke!" Lelouch corrected, sending a horrified look on to Light's face.

"Wha… are you seriously playing in to this?" Light sternly asked, the startled tone now passed on to him.

"Only because she's got it all wrong! You're obviously the seme! I don't see any reason why she could possibly mix that up."

"Well… as true as that is, there's no need to play in to her game," he said, his hands coiling tighter around the steering wheel.

"So you admit you're the seme," Lelouch scoffed with a smirk.

"We… ah… no, I admitted to no such thing!"

"Yes you did! You just said it!"

"Could we please stop this immaturity?"

"This is not immature! This is a heated debate over the fact that you are incapable of admitting fact!"

"This is not a fact because we are not gay!"

I started to tremble with held back giggles as I watched the both of them go at it. This dispute between them went on and on until about five till 1:00, when we arrived at the school. I was disappointed that my fun had to end so soon, but not as disappointed as I was to have to walk into a school once again.

I grimaced as I looked up at the two story building, spotting classes going on through the other side of the windows. "Welcome to hell, children; where the lunch food is moldy and all you learn is that the world is a bitch," I slowly mumbled as I looked up into a window to see a kid from the hood arguing with a teacher.

"So where do we meet up with the principal?" Lelouch asked as he closed the car door behind him.

"She said we'd meet her in the gym," I replied. "It should be right at the end of the hall behind the front doors."

"Alright then. Let's be on our way," Light said before strutting to the front steps of the school.

We entered the school through a pair of black double doors and found ourselves in a large, empty foyer lined with a few hall ways and two trophy cases parallel to each other from across the way. We looked around a bit to take in the scenery and stopped when we looked forward and found four pairs of wooden double doors. We walked forward and I suddenly gained an aching feeling in the pit of my stomach as I looked at my "parents", the realization finally hitting me that for the rest of the time that I spent in high school, I would be known as the "gay spawn." I let out a heavy breath before tugging on the silver handle and opening one of the doors.

The very first thing I saw when we walked in was the principal. She was a quite pudgy woman, about as short as me: no, shorter, which basically qualifies her as a borderline midget. she had a very chubby face with rosy cheeks and a wide smile that made a small crease in her fat face. Her brown hair bore an array of blond streaks here and there that made the color look like the color of a well-polished wooden coffee table. She tied her hair in a tight bun that belonged on the head of a Texan woman and crammed her kankle-bound feet into a brown pair of heels that matched her brown work suit. Balancing on the bridge of her nose, she wore a small pair of thin framed glasses that resembled America's. As for the rest of her face, the entire thing screamed "stressed out slave driver who constantly wears a happy mask."

"Oh, hello there, dear!" she greeted in a thick, stereo-typical Canadian accent. "You must be Dugos."

"Um, it's pronounced 'Da-gas'," I corrected her.

"Oh, ho ho, sorry dear! My mistake," she replied, still holding her cheery tone. She took a moment to look me over. Like most days, I was wearing a graphic t-shirt under a rainbow colored hoodie along with a good pair of dark jeans and my favorite pair of boots I got from Gormagon when it first opened. The woman seemed a little displeased with my fashion sense because, for the first time today, her smile cracked.

"Okay then! So these two men are your… brothers?" she hopefully asked.

"No… they're my fathers," I dryly said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, dear." Her smile cracked again.

"No problem. Uh, this is my dad, Dan," I pointed towards Light, "And this is my daddy, Stephan," I pointed towards Lelouch. My face unknowingly started to turn a pink tint as I held back a bubble of laughter.

"Oh, well, it's good to meet you both," she said as she lightly shook Lelouch's hand.

"Good to make you're acquaintance," he said in his usual cool tone.

"Likewise," Light said, cracking a friendly smile. No sooner that he cracked that smile, there was a huge splat from outside. I swerved my head around to see what had made the nose. I took a close look through the windows in the doors and saw, what looked to be, some guy with wings who had just been set on fire. From the gym, I saw it kinda sit on the ground for a while, then suddenly spring up and begin to screech at the top of its lungs as it sprinted back and forth across the front of school. It soon stopped once it rammed its self into a tree, setting the grass around it in fire as it lay unconscious and still ablaze.

"Huh, so it really is true: Light's smiles really do make angels spontaneously combust," I thought as I looked out at the flaming holy entity.

"Okay then. Shall we take a look at the school?" the principal suggested.

"Sounds great," Lelouch said.

"Hey guys," I said, stopping the two of them from following the chubby woman. "Gay guys are known for having strong relationships with their partners. If you wanna make this look realistic, you gotta look like total lovers, okay?"

Now, I could have had them avoid doing this for their own sake, but this was simply for my own sick amusement.

Forcefully and angrily, Lelouch scooted closer to Light and gripped his arms around one of Light's, much like a viper would grip around its prey to squeeze it's organs out.

"For the record, this never happened," Lelouch snarled with a tense-looking expression.

"Agreed…"

With that, we were off to tour the school, the principal glaring back at my "parents" every so often with a judgmental gleam. Homophobic much? Anyways, we started off looking at everything on the first floor, the principal, at one point, breaking the news to me that the administration would choose my classes based on what classes had slots left for one more student. This made me want to slug Austria in the nose for being such a snitch.

While we walked, we passed some very loud, on going classes where many of the students didn't know the meaning of the phrase "shut the hell up!" At one point, at the end of the main hall, we reached the school pool. Breaking some more bad news to me, the principal told me that this is where I would be taking swim class for the rest of this semester. Sure, I liked to swim as much as the next guy, but not in front of a class of bitches and a gym teacher.

As we walked through the school, I learned that throughout the next semester, I would taking geometry first hour, swim class second, then Spanish, then a lunch period, then biology, world history and last, but most certainly the least, drama class. Now, due to my storage management team, I had become a history nut, but the rest of the classes I was forced to take made me want to be crushed to death by a brick wall. Though, the block scheduling did make some of the classes shorter, it sure as hell didn't make it easier to bear through.

Soon, we had made it to the other end of the school where the principal lead us to the administration office. She stopped the three of us in front of the front desk to hand us a huge chunk of paper work. I looked at the bottom of the last page and shivered as I remembered that my hard earned tax money went in to funding this hell hole. Disappointed by what some of my profits were going to, I stepped to a row of chairs and slumped forward, watching Light and Lelouch in the chairs next to me, staring at the 4 pages that they had to fill out.

They periodically leaned over to ask questions that normal parents should know like, "when's your birthday" and, "how do you spell your last name" and, "do you take any medications?" Eventually, they asked if I was allergic to anything and I sarcastically answered with, "Glitter, popular TV shows and humans." Light sympathized with my opinions while Lelouch seemed to have taken a slight offence when I said "glitter."

While the two of them filled out the pages, I noticed a group of students sitting in a pocket at the north end of the room that was filled with desks. This, apparently, was where kids would be sent to detention. I continuously looked at the group, struggling to see what they did while sitting there. At one point, while I was straining to read the title of a book one kid was reading, one of the gangsters in the group looked up and saw me sitting next to my employees. He immediately caught on to what the two of them were supposed to be, gave me a judging look and leaned over to gossip to the blond bitch next to him. A few seconds passed and I could see him point directly at me.

I've learned, after many years of experience, to pay no mind to foolish insults, but not until now have I needed to be prepared for being made fun of for something that was completely untrue. Though it started to bother me only now that I would be made fun of for all of high school, I was suddenly even more bothered, and somewhat disturbed, that the book the one kid had been reading was a Captain Underpants book.


I went home with the two of them a while later, the paper work filled out with Dan and Stephan labeled as my legal guardians. After what happened today, I couldn't stand doing any sort of work, so I decided to go to the fast food place to get a box of fries. After a while of contemplation, I soon found a way to get to my room above my office while still not being noticed by Joey. I realized that I would have to leave my room later in the day to pick up all my school supplies at Office Max, but at this point, I didn't give a rat's ass. All I wanted to do was do some sketching, listen to Panic! At the Disco and forget this entire day ever happened.

As opposed to my hopes, I got the sudden urge to gather my supplies at around 6:30. I left the safety of my room, only to be greeted by Joey who hadn't known I had been in my room for the past 3 hours. He reported to me, saying that the day went great and said I could ignore him and go get my things. I said he could go back to the gas station if he wanted to, but he declined my offer right before asking if he could stay here for the night so he could avoid his psychopathic girlfriend. I assured him that the people here are no less psychotic than her, but he didn't believe my warning. I allowed him to stay then moved on to Office Max. once there, I sadly color coded my classes by note book and folder for the next half an hour.

I returned back to my office with all of my school supplies crammed into a new messenger bag I got from Hikaru and Kaoru's place. I smiled as I looked down at the flap on my bag that bore a graphic from the anime Soul Eater and remembered my dream to employ some of its characters someday… excluding Maka… nobody likes Maka.

By 8:00, I had returned back to my room, tired and still unprepared to go back to school. By now, all I wanted to do was watch some TV and go to bed. But no, tonight, I would have to go to sleep, leaving Joey to close the mall, dream about a zebra-cop who's arresting me for slipping on a banana peel, wake up, and get dropped off back at hell. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to the following day.

I fell asleep that night, the only phrase going through my head being, "Why must I deal with this shit?"


"Fucking shut up, Nicki Minaj!" was the first thing I bellowed out at 5:45 in the morning. I had been rudely woken up at this time by my radio who thought it would be a fantastic idea to wake me up with this shitty artist. I sprang out of my bed, punched the radio to the ground, breaking it upon impact, and belted out the loudest Godzilla roar I could muster.

I stormed down the hall and headed towards the stairs, but my journey was in vain. For on my way down the stars, I nearly tripped down at least four times, only to slip on the rug at the bottom and crack my elbow. Now favoring my left elbow, I stepped into the kitchen to maliciously myself a bowl of store-brand not- frosted flakes. Let it be known that I HATE store brand cereal, but it was cheap so I tried not to care. I took a single spoon full and crammed it into my mouth before looking down into the bowl and finding 3 confused bugs squirming in my sugary milk. I dumped out my cereal, placed the bowl in the sink and worked up enough rage energy to chuck my spoon at the wall. I walked over to retrieve it and also found a dent in the wall and my disfigured spoon pathetically bent on the ground.

I decided to skip the cereal and stormed back upstairs with a microwaved pop tart. When I had returned back to my bat cave of a room, I spent 20 minutes trying to find the most offensive shirt in my closet. I eventually decided upon wearing a deep grey t-shirt that said "I don't need sex, the government f*cks everybody!" Office Max had iron-on paper, so I figured I would make a new shirt later tonight.

By 6:30, I was fully dressed in an arsenal of strange clothing that would give everybody the worst impression of myself. I grinned at the reflection of myself bouncing off one of the large windows next to the door to my office. My shoulder-blade long hair was tied back into a folded over pony tail with a black hair tie with a little skull attached to it. As for my feet, they were slipped into my boots from yesterday. My scrawny legs were wrapped into a dark pair of skinny jeans, my arms had a baggy black hoodie sagging off of my shoulders and my hands were dressed in a nice pair of black, fingerless gloves I got from Clair's at a birthday party a couple years back.

I hiked my chunky bag over my shoulder and began to step towards my office door. The grin I had gained through satisfaction towards my wardrobe suddenly faded away once I had grabbed the door knob; it had finally hit me that I was leaving my one safe house in the world to go deal with the dark side of the force. Reluctantly, I stepped out of my office, leaving behind any thought of safety that I could ever feel for the rest of the year.


"I know this is kind of a bad question to ask, but are you okay?" Tamaki asked as he leaned forward from the back seat.

"I'm okay for now," I calmly replied, struggling to keep a positive tone.

"If you seriously need to come back to the mall, you always have our numbers in your phone," Mello pointed out, his eyes carefully watching the road in front of him.

I hated the idea of just going alone to my first day of school, so I had Mello drive me and asked Tamaki to come with. (I needed to have a cheery, supportive spirit with me to even out Mello's normally angsty attitude.)

"No, if I back out in the middle of my first day then I'll come across as an easy target. I'm not letting that happen," I dryly replied.

"If you insist," he replied, his voice sounding concerned and drowsy.

I felt a tightening pressure in my chest as Matt's car jerked to a stop in front of the school. It surprised me that I felt this way only now, being that I hadn't felt it when I had first walked into the school the day before, which made me feel even worse. It made me feel weak, defenseless, and out of place. I sucked in a big breath as I tightly gripped the musty polyester seat I had been sitting upon.

"Thanks for the ride, Mello," I sighed, half of my trying to open the car door and half of me wanting Mello to take me back home.

"No problem, Dag'."

"Oh! No! Don't leave! I don't want you to diiiiiieeee!" Tamaki suddenly started to wail before lunging forward and clutching onto my arm.

I looked into his watering blue eyes and, in a burst of emotions, a dam of tears began to overflow from the back of my eyes. I released the door handle, collapsed over his shoulder as he gripped me in his shaking arms. I flung out my own arms to take hold of him, and with that one single movement, we began to mindlessly bawl on each other, dampening each other's sleeves by the tear, for the next 6 minutes.

From all around us, I could feel the other students staring at us as we sobbed like toddlers that just dropped their ice creams. With the windows open, they could obviously hear us too, but I couldn't have cared less. All I wanted to do was have a good dramatic cry with Tamaki until Mello had no choice but to take us back home. Instead of that option, Mello took a different approach.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Mello suddenly slammed his hand down on the freakishly loud horn and continued to keep it there until we separated. We jumped back into our own separate seats, tears still dampening our cheeks. As rude as Mello's plan of action had been, it snapped me back to my normal self, so it wasn't a complete waste of the horn.

"Are we done here, or would you rather sob until you're sick?" he angrily asked.

"Sorry, Mello. I'll go," I sniffled. I followed his commands and stepped out of the car, boots clunking on the pavement, and closed the door behind me. Before I could get the chance to walk off, Mello leaned out the window and said in a more friendly voice, "Hey… Good luck, Dag'."

"Heh, you too. To tell you the truth, I'm honestly more concerned about the business than I am of my own wellbeing," I admitted with a weak smile.

"Be a good little piglet, mkay?" Tamaki said with a concerned tone but friendly smile and a thumb up.

I nodded. "Thanks Tamaki."

"Oh no! you gotta call me sempai, now!" he joked with a grin.

"Not on your life," I playfully sneered. I reached back into the open window of the red Chevy to give Tamaki another hug, but the second Mello began to sense the shifting mood, he pounded his hand back on the horn three more times. I sprang up and backed away from the car.

"Alright, alright! I'm goin'!" I snapped, hands held up in defense.

The two of them waved goodbye and Mello began to pull away from the curb. Though, I refused to take my eyes away from the car until it was completely out of sight. Suddenly, I was alone: for the very first time in years, I was alone.

I arrived at the school early to unpack my supplies into my new locker, only to find that I was a bottom locker. To make it worse, judging by the stench of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs in the locker above mine, some wasted douche bag had the locker right above mine. I sucked it up, put my stuff in my locker, and was able to start walking to class right before the warning bell rang. I raced to the second floor, blue notebook and folder in hand, to go find my first class of the morning. I looked around the hall until I found the class number belonging to my class, narrowed my eyes, took a tighter grip on my bag, and whispered with a single breath, "Game on."

Geometry Class: I entered the room and looked around for the one empty seat in the class room. It was right at the back in the corner, which gave me hope that I could have at least a little safety. I placed my things on the desk and pulled out a pencil and just as I was about to take a seat, the teacher stepped in to the class room. She was a pretty average looking teacher all together; shoulder length, honey-brown, straight hair, a light touch of makeup on her cheeks, a bland brown skirt that went down to about her ankles and a proper, frilly white blouse. The moment I took a look at her, I had to second guess myself to see if I was in a private or public school as of now.

She walked in to the room bouncing off of her brown high heels and said in a cheery voice, "Good morning, class! It's good to see all of your faces today… ahem, and then some," she said, motioning a hand towards me. "We have a new student joining us today. Miss, would you mind coming up to the front of the class?"

I groaned and pulled myself away from my desk to walk to the front, my feet dragging me like I was walking up the line to death row. I stepped up and the teacher stepped up next to me like I was a brand new kindergarten student.

"Class, this is Douglas-"

"It's Dagas," I sneered, holding back a frustrated glare.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, this is Dagas," she corrected herself. "Um, class, why don't you give her an overview of what we've learned so far."

A fat guy in the front raised his chubby hand. "We learned about shapes and graphs and stuff."

"Well, that wasn't exactly specific, but…"

"Aw shit," I thought as I took a closer look at all of the students. "I got placed in the stupid class room!"

"We learned about 3-D shapes… like this," a blond girl said while presenting a spitty lollipop to the teacher.

"I learned about maple trees!" said some girl who was all decked out in fall colors.

"We didn't learn anything…" a dark shaded goth groaned from the back of the class. I gave him a discrete thumbs up.

"Okay, well, Dagas, why don't you show us what you already know?"

I groaned a little. "Fine… Gimme a sec." I broke away from her and stepped up to the blank white board. I picked up a black dry erase marker and, within no more than 5 minutes, the entire board was filled with what I remembered from every geometry unit I ever took, with the addition of a little comment in the corner that read in pretty obvious letters, "If the majority of you don't know half of what I just wrote then take a hint: go back to first grade."

I turned around after placing the marker back down, only to find that the entire class, teacher and all, were gaping at me like I was a messenger of God.

"H- ha- how do you know all of that?" the teacher stuttered.

I shrugged. "I know a lot of Asians."


Swim Class: "I could report you into the office right now for not following a teacher's instructions, young lady!" the teacher belted out at me, her face frustrated and burning red with fury and bulging veins.

"And I could report you into child protective services for not respecting my personal needs," I coolly replied, arms folded and expression blank.

Now, sure, I came to this lady's class on time, but that doesn't mean I came ready for the class. I walked into that swim room fully clothed excluding my socks and boots since I didn't want them getting wet. When class began and the teacher walked in, she yelled at me for a bit for not being prepared until her arguing turned into an all-out cat fight. She bitched, I smarmily responded and the cycle continued until she gave up, leaving me to sit on the bench by the door. The whole time that this class went on, I would glance up and see the teacher constantly glaring at me from the corner of her eye. Though, no matter how much she glared, nothing could get me into that pool. And from the start to the end of class, I reined completely victorious. For at the end of the period, the teacher had nothing else to say.


Spanish Class: I walked in and could have sworn Spain had stopped in and sprayed a can of his own natural scent all around the room, his body odor being the smell of stink, a hint of bananas, and churros. The majority of the students, like most of the school, were dumb ass delinquents, but among them lay the typical Spanish speakers. The students who were actually in to the language and took this class on their own free will were all freakishly happy people who were all normally mousy outside of this class.

I sat down in my desk, prepared with a tube of crazy glue to glue myself to the chair if another teacher asked me to introduce myself to the class. As soon as I had set out my stuff for this class, the teacher walked in, looking like she had just gotten off a plane from Spain. She was tan with long black hair and, from how fluently she spoke, I could tell that she used to be an actual Spaniard before coming to this horrid school to teach.

"Ah, buenos dias, clase! And good morning to our new student, Dagas! Correct me if I'm wrong, but is that a German name?" the teacher asked, a freaky smile on her face to match that of her creepy students.

"No, ma'am, it's Irish," I replied.

"Oh, in Spanish, you call me Señorita."

"My bad, señorita," I bitterly corrected myself.

"So, what do you know in Spanish as of now?"

"Um…" I paused between words to think of what I knew. "Uh, pantalones… um, gatito… oh, taco! I can say taco! Um… teléfono… mmmmmm, oh, I know one more thing! Oh, what was that again… oh!" I broke away from my moronic performance and suddenly said to the teacher with great fluency and a perfect accent, "Buenos dias a ti, oh mono de mal olor. Puedo ofrecer consejería para su bunuelo?"

The woman, much like the geometry teacher, gaped at me as she translated in her head what I had just said. The class stared at her, then at me, then back at her again. After a few minutes of thought, she unsteadily replied, pulling a chunk of her hair behind her ear, "No, you may not send my donut to counseling… but you may go down to the library, look up and think about what you just called me, young lady…"

Suddenly my grin slipped off my face as I realized what she was implying. I gathered my things, stepped out of my seat and walked to the library for my first solitary detention. Still, as I walked and thought about what I said, I regret nothing.


My detention ended when the bell rang for lunch. I left the library, still feeling proud about my little Spanish incident, and marched to my locker, where the druggy and a group of his buddies were crowded around his locker. I tapped on their shoulders a couple times and even banged my fist on a locker once or twice, but they didn't seem to notice me at all. It came to the point where frustration took me over and I allowed it to do what it liked. Not thinking about how badly they could pummel me in the long run, I yanked off my left boot, grabbed it by the long end and slammed it across the head of the drunkest looking guy in the group of five. He fell to the ground pretty easily and I slipped on my boot as the pot heads glared right at me.

Like nothing had just happened, I began to hum an up-beat Vocaloid song, bent down to my locker, shoved my bag inside and grabbed my box-lunch. I closed my locker and walked down the hall, humming away with a spring in my step. From behind, I heard them angrily converse and emphasize angrier words and, what it came down to was one of them trying to hurl a spiral notebook at my head. I dodged it and watched as it slid on the floor in front of me. I shook my head at the fact that the notebook had hardly been used for anything besides amateur doodles.

I turned my head and looked at all of them at once with a straight face. My eyes grew lazy and I said, "No need to get so worked up about it; I didn't hit him that hard."

I walked pretty far down one of the main halls and stopped to eat my lunch in front of one of the trashed art rooms. It was pretty clear to see that anything related to the arts wasn't all that appreciated here. I sat myself down on the dusty floor, untied the cloth around my box, opened the top and found a warm meal consisting of a sticky rice cake with a tiny smiley face drawn on it, a few veggies, steamed shrimp and three chichi dangos rolled into little balls for dessert. I smiled and made a mental note to thank Miharu for the cute little lunch when I got home.

About 10 minutes into my lunch, the gang of druggies returned with a couple of bitches. They rudely stomped up to me right as I was placing a little shrimp I had stabbed with my chopsticks into my mouth. I looked up at them innocently, my eyes still glowing with joy at my unique little meal, and realized what was going on here; the druggies were too freaked out by me to do anything, so they brought some of the top dogs to take care of their worries for them. Knowing what was coming next, I put my chopsticks into their little slot to avoid getting them shoved into my eye.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Oh my GAWD!" one of the skanks squeaked out with a look on her face like someone had just insulted her prom dress. "What the hell is THAT?"

I looked down and looked back up. "My lunch. Do you have a problem with it?"

"Oh my gawd!" she repeated. "That is the most disgusting thing I have EVER seen! You are SICK!" She then strut up to me, locked one foot forward, leaned down and before I could say another word, she grabbed my hair and slammed my face into what was left of my lunch. She made a disgusted "uck!" noise before leading her posy of morons back from where they came, leaving me with a face full of food.

I slowly looked up, the edges of the box making painful dents on my skin and looked down at what I had left. Though I had finished most of my lunch already, two of the three dangos I had been looking forward to were now stuck on my cheek and the last little shrimp I had left was now up my nose. I pulled the shrimp out of my nostril and placed it back into the box before pathetically trying to salvage the dangos off of my face. I only got half of the residue off my cheek, making me sad that I couldn't completely enjoy the nice little dessert. I ate the last dango, wrapped the box back up and figured it would be wise to wipe my face off before my next class. Sadly, my lunch time came to an upsetting end.


Biology: after the sad incident with the lunch, I moved on to biology where I found a pretty average looking male teacher at the front desk. Class started and the black haired teacher said, "Alright guys, we have a new student here today to complete our class list. Dagas, would you wave a hand at the rest of the class?" I lifted up my hand from where I sat and waved it slightly in the air. "Good. Now, we're in the middle of studying DNA and I would like you to try to answer a few simple questions."

"Um, okay," I shrugged.

"Alright. Now, can you tell me what this is?" he asked as he drew a model on the board of the typical double helix with letters on the rungs.

I looked at it for a moment and found this to be as simple as a question can get. "A strand of DNA?"

His mutual facial expression suddenly shifted to an angrily violent frown. He reached for his desk, picked up what looked like a dictionary and screamed, "That's not good enough!" before hurling the hard cover book at my head. I quickly ducked down and listened as the kid behind me got biffed in the forehead by the book, causing him to fall backwards in his seat. "It's a strand of RNA, dumb ass!" he angrily bellowed at me, his posture making him look like Matt Foley on a van-down-by-the-river-rant.

"Yeah, you might wanna try to get his questions right from now on… your life kinda depends on it," warned an apathetic looking student said to me.

I shakily nodded. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind…"

"No talking over the teacher, Ricky!" he screamed at the kid next to me before hurling a stapler at him. "Ricky" kept low and avoided the office supply like a pro. Suddenly, I began to feel like I had just been put on my teacher's psychopathic hit-list.


World History: I became a bit peppier as I walked in and figured that I would ace this class no matter what unit they taught. It seemed that there was no seating chart for this class, so I took a seat in the second to last row between a noisy punk and a blond bimbo. But this wasn't just any blond bimbo. No, this was the blond who spotted me in the office the day before while in detention.

Like I said, she was blond and looked like a popularity-hungry skank all together. She wore a tight pink tank top and a push up bra that made her tits nearly spill out of the damn shirt. Her hair was long and perfectly straightened, but probably bleached. Her face was the very definition of makeup overdose and the rest of her body figure screamed borderline anorexic.

The moment I took a seat, the skank looked right at me and began to just stare at me while noisily chewing on a stick of cinnamon gum right in my ear. She continued to do this for a few long, awkward minutes before she flat out asked, "Are you a lesbian?"

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking at such a startling question.

"Your parents are gay, so does that mean you're gay?" she asked, her idiotic voice like nails on a chalk board and her eyes still blankly staring at me.

"Being gay is not hereditary, therefore I am not gay."

She mindlessly chewed for a while more until the bell rang. She turned away and never provided me with any sort of response.

We began class once the teacher stepped in and greeted the entire class with a hearty tone. Unlike the rest of the teachers, this one didn't make me guess the material and simply gave me an overview of what they had learned so far. From what he said, the class had just moved on to a unit that my employees were experts at: World War II. They had just gotten to the beginning of the war yesterday, so the teacher started off by asking a question about the start.

"Okay, now you can all think about this for a bit: I'll give you some time. But I want you to tell me everything that you remember from yesterday's lesson. You have five minutes to think."

I looked around to check the performance of this class only to see all of them either doodling, picking at their nails or drooling on their desks. Quietly and cautiously, I took up this opportunity and pulled out my cell phone. I looked through my contacts, picked one out and began to type. The blond next to me tried to read what I was typing, but I shut and locked my phone before she could catch a glimpse. A few moments later, I received a response and was ready to answer the question.

"Okay," he said, clapping his hands together to signify that the time was up. "Now that you've had some time to think, I need an answer. Any volunteers?" he asked. There was a long drag of silence where nobody answered and the teacher began to threaten to randomly pick one of them. Seeing this predicament, I raised my hand up quickly to end the mindless silence. "Yes, uh, Dagas," he said, picking on me to answer the question. Though he had picked me, he seemed a bit unsure of what I really knew. From the looks of it, he must have assumed I was just another stupid teenager here.

"Right before the start of the conflict, Germany was still paying a crap load of reparations to France who had scammed him out of a ton of money due to the Central Power loss of World War I. The reparation costs caused Germany to mass produce German marks and cuckoo clocks to keep up with the deadlines, sending him right into debt. Germany got pretty sick of paying for a war that he didn't directly cause so he teamed up with Italy and Japan, forming the Axis Powers whose sole purpose was to take down France. France made the Allies after teaming up with England, America, Russia, China and Canada. Their sole purpose was to fight back against the Axis Powers. This was basically how the whole war started.

"You probably haven't gotten to this quite yet, but since it's common knowledge, the Axis Powers lost once again, causing Germany to pay even more reparations even though the war pretty much started because he didn't want to pay them. Ironic, right? Also, fun fact: when the war began, Germany, Italy and Russia were solidly totalitarian, though that government strategy hasn't worked out for any country who has tried it out. Also, World Wars I and II were the only times in history that England and France were actually on the same side. In any other situation, they'd be on opposing sides trying to beat the crap out of each other.

"Now a days, the world is as close to "at peace" as it can get due to the establishment of the UN which was made after WWII. Though, from what I've heard, even with the UN conferences being held, nothing ever gets done. All it is is a gathering of countries that just argue over ways to keep one country from attacking another. It doesn't really accomplish a thing, but it keeps the countries busy enough to stay away from the borders."

Like the rest of my classes, the room became silent as I sat in my seat, clutching my phone to keep the vibrating from being heard. The teacher looked at me for a bit, marveling at my completely factual knowledge about something he hadn't even started going in depth with. He smiled proudly, nodded and said, "That's absolutely correct. Thank you for the participation, Dagas."

I happily nodded.

At this point, the blonde finally got a chance to see who I had been texting. She squinted at the screen for a bit before making out what it said:

Me: What are the UN meetings like?

Italy: Really loud! Nothing happens besides Germany yelling at people to stop blaming him for the war. America, France and England always get into fights, nobody lets me bring any pasta, Sealand never gets let inside and nobody pays attention to America's brother. I wonder what his name is.

Me: Beats me.

Italy: iklom,.fkjikwme,xfiopkllsjhkll,

Italy: I'm Canada!

Me: Sorry, Canada! XP


Drama Class: My last class of the day was held in the second little theatre down the last hall in the school. I walked in to the room to find a dim lit room with a small stage at the far end of the room and a few jumbled rows of chairs closer to the door. Seeing no desks, I decided to sit on the floor.

The teacher, bearing a messy head of hair and the weirdest hermit outfit I've ever seen, bounded in to the room from behind the back stage curtains. He walked forward a few paces, performed a summer sault into the middle of the stage and sprang up, landing perfectly onto his feet.

"Good afternoon, class!" he greeted us.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Vann!" the rest of the small class of 15 replied.

"Yes, and a hearty greeting to you as well, little miss no-chair. You must be the new student, Dagas, right?" he boomed, looking down at me.

"Yup."

"Oh, I just love your name! So exotic! As I recall, that would be an ancient Irish Gaelic name."

"Yep," I confirmed, a pinch of enthusiasm escaping my lips.

"Wonderful! So," he paused and crouched down from the stage, pulled up a chair from the front row, turned it backwards and took a seat on the stage. "Acting… what would you like to study about that today?"

"You mean you don't have a lesson planned?" I questioned.

"I cleared the plans for today because I knew I had a new student."

"Wait, wha-"

"My methods can be quite strange, little miss, but that's what makes me a good teacher! Now what do you want to learn?"

"Um… nothing?" I hopefully asked with a grin.

"That is not an option! Pick another!"

"Um… uh…"

"Why don't we show her what we learned yesterday on emotion?" a girl with tight, torn clothing and floppy brown hair asked.

"Excellent! Katrina! Aaron! Get up here and give an example!" he boomed. He then scooted his chair to the side of the stage and made room for the two of them. "I'd like you to do an improv. scene for a television drama. Setting: Aaron is about to reveal his deepest secret- go!"

"How could you have not told me this before? We were supposed to tell all of our secrets to each other! That's what couples do!" Katrina started off, a fluster of forced up tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just… I couldn't tell you! It was too big of a secret! If anybody were to know… I'd…"

"Is it really a big enough secret to end our relationship? Is it?" she screamed.

"But it's just so horrible!"

"Tell me! What is it? Why can't you tell me?"

"Because… you'd think I'm crazy…"

She moved in closer to him. "I wouldn't! I would never think that! Why would you even think I would judge you like that?"

"Because… my secret is…" he paused, puffed out his chest and said out into the crowd, avoiding eye contact with Katrina. "I'm allergic… to puppies!"

"Nooooo! Whyyy?" she screeched, falling dramatically to her knees.

"And scene!" the teacher called out. "Great work you two!" They nodded and stepped off the stage. "Now, Dagas." The sound of my name caught my attention. "Get your butt up here and show us what you've got!"

I nervously crawled off the floor and walked up to the stage, my hands shaking like they never have. I looked around a bit only to find an intent audience expecting an epic failure. I cleared my throat, stuttered out a couple of "ums" and struggled to find my voice. Thinking of the first thing that came to mind, I gained an acting attitude and belted out, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and-" Suddenly, I heard a splat and felt something cold slap me in the face. I jumped back a pace and found the teacher with a pile of tomatoes in his lap. I wiped my hand over my cheek and it came back red with juice and seeds.

"Shakespeare's over done! Pick something else!" Mr. Vann demanded while tossing another tomato up into the air and allowing it to fall back into his hand.

"Uh… quoth my soul to the sun-" He threw yet another tomato at my cheek. "Really, man?" I angrily asked.

"I'm looking for emotion! You're developing some anger right now; use that! Get mad!" he said and tossed yet another tomato.

I clutched my teeth together and suddenly charged after the teacher. He dodged before I could get him and he tossed another tomato. This same act continued with me chasing him around the room and him throwing more tomatoes at my face the angrier I got. He and the class seemed to get a kick out of it, but I doubt there's anybody in this world that would voluntarily be soaked in tomato juice.

By the time the first 20 minutes had gone by, Mr. Vann was out of tomatoes and I was a red, sticky blob struggling to catch my breath while leaning against a wall. With nothing left for him to throw, the teacher walked up to me and delightfully asked, "Did you learn anything about stage emotion today?"

"Yeah…" I panted. "I learned I have strong emotions of hatred towards the stage…"

"Well that's a start. Now go wash off until the bell rings. I don't want you dripping on my floor."


The bell rang and I left the bathroom being as clean as I could get. My clothes were now stained and my hair was damp, but I was thankful to not be sticky anymore. When I walked out, I was pretty happy that the day was over, but that was just the school day. When I got home, I would have to go deal with the problems of my employees until 10. My day was never over and no matter what I did, I couldn't foresee any possible way out of escaping going to this wretched school for the next few years.

I started walking down the main hall, grumbling under my breath about how much I was really hating Austria right now, when I was stopped by a horrible sound. "Hey, bitch!" the sound cried out to me. When I turned around, I found that the noise came from the girl from my history class. She looked pretty pissed, but prideful in her plans she had in store for me. "What the hell is your deal?"

"You're the one yelling at me, so it would be more appropriate to ask what your deal is," I calmly replied in an attempt to beat her foolish comments with intellect.

She glared at me, snapped her fingers, and from the thickness of the crowd around us, there emerged a group of , what looked like her posy of underlings including a couple of pissed students from my history and swim class. "Okay, let me lay this down for you, cuz I don't think you're getting this," she snarled once her group had assembled. "We are the top dogs around here. We have a system in this joint that keeps freakazoids like you out of the big league. All these guys behind me; you totally dissed them today with your smart ass little comments, you stupid bitch!"

"Comments? I didn't say anything!" I said in my defense.

"You bitched at the swim coach and upstaged us by skipping out of class!" a brown haired girl from my swim class said, hands on her hips.

"And you made all of us look stupid in history!" said an ape-like gangster.

"Oh, you didn't even know half of my damn answer! I doubt you were even tuned in to what the teacher had asked!" I roared out, letting out some of my built up stress from the day.

There was an angry pause as the tension grew between us. I stood firm with my opinion, no matter how many scornful glares I saw.

"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that!" the gangster said as he started to step into my bubble.

"I think we aughta teach you a lesson about messing with the top of the chain," the blond said in a sly tone. With another snap of her fingers, I was ambushed by a mob of forceful hands grabbing on to my arms so I wouldn't break free. I was dragged down the closest back hall as fast as they could go with me kicking forcefully at their feet. Within a few short seconds, I had been forced into a bathroom (a men's bathroom, none the less), taken up by my hood and had been strung up to hang until I found a way to get down.

"Have fun!" the blond cooed to me as she and her posy slammed the door shut.

I hung by my hoodie for quite a while as I tried to figure out how to get down. Sadly enough, while I was thinking, some guy walked in, already undoing his zipper as he walked in. He was just about to let go on a urinal, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw where I had been placed. On the stall at the farthest end of the bathroom, he found me dangling by my hood from the coat hook on the door.

"Uh… h-hi…" he stuttered.

"Hey," I calmly replied while politely waving to him. "I'm on a door."

"Wh- why are you on that door? What are you doing there?" he nervously stuttered.

"Oh, you know, just hangin'."

He immediately sprinted out of the room, forgetting to zip up his pants as he ran. I shook my head at his frantic running. And suddenly6, I realized how I would get down, but I soon became disappointed in myself that I hadn't thought of it sooner. In lifted my arms up as far as I could get them to go and slipped right out of my hoodie like a stoned snake. I reached up to grab my hoodie, slipped it back on and went back into the hall to grab the bag I had dropped.


So, now my school day was really over, as it was for the majority of the other students. The big carpool rush had dialed down a bit so the streets and sidewalks in front of the school weren't completely crowded anymore. Only about 1/3 of the students were left waiting for their rides. In turn, I walked out the front doors and began looking for my own ride. I found myself praying as I walked out that nothing else would go wrong in the few short seconds it would take for me to find a ride. Unfortunately, with my bad luck, anything that can go wrong will.

I looked around by the curb for a little bit, my bag weighing me down more than it had when I had stepped in to the school this morning. When I had reached the end of the pathway up to the front doors of the school, I stopped and looked up and down the road to take a closer look for Matt's beat up red Chevy. I struggled a bit to find it through the thinning crowds of people, and after about 7 long minutes of searching, I heard a loud honk from a small, five-seater, silver Subaru. I turned to the car and stopped dead in my tracks, shocked to find the worst of people sticking his head out of the window. It was Shizuo. In a car I had no clue existed… with Celty sitting next to him… damn.

"Hey!" Shizuo called out the window in his typical angry tone. "Hop in!"

I angrily sighed as I glared at the nice silver car that I could have taken here to avoid Matt's smelly car. I could have saved myself the trouble of smelling like a chain smoker if only I had known about this damn car. Knowing this only made my day just a little worse.

"So, you crawled away, did you?" the brown haired swimmer rhetorically asked from behind me. "Takes more than an army, huh?"

"Hey, get in the car!" Shizuo repeated, his tone getting a bit testier.

"Bitch, what is it gonna take to break you? I thought the bathroom was enough."

"Okay, I seriously can't talk. You can bitch at me any other day, but I really have to go!" I pleaded.

"Oh no! I'm not done with you yet! You get your skinny ass over here!"

"Get in!" Shizzy demanded as he snapped the cigarette he was smoking in half.

"Hey! Bitch, I'm talking to you!" the girl yelled at me as she stormed up to get into my personal bubble. We glared at each other for a while, a cat fight flame about to ignite in her eyes, before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and say Celty typing in something on to her hand held. I looked down at it once she was done and read, "You might want to hurry! He hasn't been having a good day so now is not a good time to get him pissy!"

"I know! I know! I just can't get away from this chick!" I sternly whispered to her.

She held out her hand towards the girl as a thin layer of blackness began to form around her hand. She nodded her head towards the girl in an action like she was asking a question.

"No! You can't do that! You'll make a scene! Besides, we better not give her the satisfaction of a reaction."

She nodded again and placed her hand at her side.

"Who the hell is this! Your fucked up sister?" the girl taunted. Her eyes held a suspiciousness in them as she looked at Celty's black jumpsuit and yellow, cat eared helmet.

"No, this is an alien form another planet called the UK," I sarcastically said. Celty placed her hands on her hips, taking my cocky remark as an insult towards her. "Oh, you know I didn't mean that," I assured her. "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have an angry little boy in the car that we need to take care of before he has a temper tantrum. So kindly-" I paused abruptly when I heard a creaking noise from behind me. It was a bit quiet at first but it quickly escalated to an ear shattering creak.

Celty and I swirled around and I began to gape as we saw what had made the noise. By the curb, Shizuo was elevating the Subaru right above his head. His arms quivered and his eyes flared with rage behind his blue glasses.

"GET IN THE CAR!"

Without thought, we dashed right up to the curb and rushed into the car once Shizuo had set it back down. As we drove off, I saw the girl running towards a posy of her bitches, obviously running off to go start a chain of gossip.

"So how was your day?" Celty typed before holding the hand held back to me.

"You know, texting and driving is illegal now," I coldly said.

"How was your day?" she typed in again.

I sighed. "Bad. Society is such a hell hole. And for some reason, people don't see why I left the school system in the first place!"

"Now you see why I don't stop by to often," she replied. "The damn police, anywhere I go, are always on my tail. I can never get away!"

"Well, I'd find you suspicious too if I were a cop," I said with a grin.

"How long do they want you to stay in the school?"

"Until I graduate into college…" I sadly groaned as I slid into my seat.

"Do they know that you won't cooperate with that?"

"I'm struggling to make that painfully clear."

"You want me to kill the superintendent?" Shizuo angrily asked from the passenger seat.

"No, then both of us will go to jail."

"How much more of this will you be able to handle?" Celty asked.

"Not much longer. There's no way I can juggle managing the mall and going to school every week day. We'll be shut down within a school year."

"Is there anything any of us can do?"

"No, you don't have to get involved. In fact, it's best if nobody gets involved."

"If you insist." She paused to take back the hand held and type in something else. "Say, would you mind if I stayed here for a little while? Shinra gave me some time off of work and I need a place to stay."

"Sure. We have some guest spaces in the ware house. Talk to Japan when we get back; he has the map."

"You finally bought out that warehouse down the street? I remember you eyeing it the last time I stopped by."

"Yep, got the new employees for it, too. They're fun to have around; good addition to the gang."

"Nice. I can't wait to meet them. Well, I hope your school situation gets a little better."

"Wishful thinking, Celty, but not likely…"