Chapter 5: Power of Rock
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The Author's stood there in silence, staring at Avergol unsure of what to do.
Finally Lunatic broke the silence.
"So are we going to fight or-"
Before he could finish his sentence Avergol's fist had connected solidly with his stomach. There was a sickening crunch of bones and blood spayed from the Fictors mouth as he collapsed.
"Looney!" Airnaruto cried out raising his knife to charge.
Before he could strike however Avergol spun into the air and slammed his foot hard into the Ninja Airbender's face. He sailed over the carnage and crashed into the dirt several feet away with a hard thud.
"Balls," Ranger snarled slashing at the Daemon only for Avergol to effortlessly parry his blow.
"Pathetic," Avergol spat before with a single push throwing Ranger to the ground.
Dawn rushed in with claw and fang. She swung and snapped at him repeatedly but with horrific ease he evaded her attacks one by one. Then seeming to grow bored with her onslaught he swung out with single kick and sent her spiraling into the air before crashing down to the ground.
X charged in swinging his blade but with just as much ease as he had bested Ranger, Avergol out maneuvered X and sent him into the dirt. The Daemon laughed.
"Is this it?" He demanded. "Is this all the mortal world can throw up in defiance of my power?"
A blast of Twilight energy hit him from behind and he staggered slightly. He turned to see Ranger back on his feet, swords raised for the fight.
"You think to best me?" Avergol demanded.
"I think I'm going to kill you," Ranger replied darkly.
Avergol laughed and in a flash was millimeters away from Ranger ready to strike. Ranger brought up his longsword just in time to block the blow. He slashed with the Dragon's Maw only for Avergol to jump back and while mid air mule kick him in the face. Ranger was thrown back to the dirt with a thud.
"You call yourself a master swordsmen?" Avergol mocked. "I have seen wretches that fight better than you."
Then he stumbled forward as a knife struck him in the lower leg.
Airnaruto, barely on his feet with one eye black, his lips and nose bleeding, and a tooth or two missing stood ready to throw another blade.
"You mess with one of us you mess with all of us," he growled.
Avergol frowned and plucked the knife out of his leg. The blade had partially melted away and without a second thought Avergol tossed it aside.
"Well then," he said, "if you are so bold or foolish as to dare strike me..."
A cero blasted him from the side. X was back up sword ready to continue to battle.
"Your tenacity is..."
A bullet tore through the right side of his face and came out the left cheek tearing away flesh and gore. Ranger was back up with Luna raised.
"I'm rather sick of this," Avergol growled.
With battle cries all three authors charged him assaulting him with a flurry of blows from three sides. Avergol blocked them, weaved under and around their blows all the while positioning himself so that he was facing all three of them form one direction. He slapped away Airnaruto, parried Ranger's heavy two-handed stroke, and then plunged his blade into X's chest. The Hollow Devil stumbled back with Ranger howling in fury assaulting Avergol relentlessly. The Daemon continued to evade him however and then with one open palmed thrust to Ranger's face, sent the Twilight Warrior crashing to the ground.
He strolled over to X who had fallen to the ground and pulled his sword from his chest.
"You are all beaten," he proclaimed. "Submit now and your Death's will be..."
"SHIGAN!"
Avergol was blasted back as Nukid, pale faced struck him with one of more deadly attacks. Avergol wiped the bit of blood from his face and frowned.
"So another dares to stand against me?" He demanded.
"Damn straight," Nukid replied.
X pushed himself up panting heavily as his wound sealed itself.
"Can you fight man?" He asked the assassin.
"Barely," Nukid admitted. "Thanks for the rescue."
"Hey!"
Ranger ran up beside them sword at the ready.
"Spread the fun around guys," he said through a bleeding nose. "Can't let you guys take this asshole on your own."
"Anyone got a plan?" X asked.
"That depends," Nukid replied. "Think you can hold him off for five minutes."
"Ya no," X replied darkly. "I know where that one goes."
"Well what do we have left in our bag of tricks?" Nukid asked.
"Well we've all used our little super modes," Ranger replied. "And that barely held him off."
"Do we have any mcguffins?" Nukid asked.
"Nope," X replied.
"Any Chevoks guns?"
"No," Ranger answered.
"Well we'll just have to pull something out of our asses then," Nukid muttered.
"Okay then," Ranger said with a nod. "Can you hold him off for about thirty or so seconds while X and set up?"
"I think so," Nukid replied.
"Well then lets do it," Ranger said.
"Are you fools done yet?" Avergol demanded.
"You've been just standing there the whole time?" X asked.
"While I do have all eternity," Avergol replied.
"Well," Nukid said rubbing his palms together, "let's dance you bishonnen bastard."
"Gladly," Avergol replied.
Then he and Nukid charged one another.
Meanwhile Ranger pulled a long case from out of his cloak.
"How did you have something like that?" X demanded.
"Bag of holding," Ranger replied. "Never leave home without it."
"So what's this plan of yours?" X asked.
"A better question would be," Ranger said revealing the case to be holding a dark blue six string guitar. "How good is you Tenacious D?"
Meanwhile Nukid found himself struggling to defend himself against Avergol's attack. He was exhausted and starving from his capture by the Narutards, almost regretting his statements. Mind you it was only almost.
He was constantly using Iron mass to try and defend against Avergol's attacks and while he could stop the blows from seriously injuring him, nasty gashes and cuts now covered his arms and chest, that bled whenever he moved. He considered himself an expert at hand to hand combat but Avergol moved with inhuman speed and struck with unbelievable power.
Then as he tried a counter Avergol grabbed by the wrist and with one movement slammed Nukid onto his back hard. He raised his sword for the death blow.
"Wait!" Ranger suddenly sang out punctuated by a string from X on Nevan.
Ranger: Wait! Wait! You mother fucker!
Avergol paused to face the two authors armed with thier guitars, looking determined.
Ranger: We challange you to a rock off!
Give us one chance to rock your socks off!
Avergol: FUCK! Fuck! Fuckkkk.
The Demon code prevents me,
from declining a rock off challenge.
What are your terms?
What's the catch?
Ranger: If we win, then you must take your sorry ass back to
Ranger/X: Hell.
Ranger: And also you will have to pay our bills.
Avergol: And what if I win?
Ranger: Then you can take Looney back to hell.
Lunatic sat up slightly at this.
Lunatic: What?
Ranger: Trust me Looney its the only way.
Lunatic: What are you talking about?
Ranger: To be your little bitch.
Lunatic: What!
Avergol: Fine!
And then there was a roar of guitars and smoke.
Avergol: Let the rock off begin! AHAHHAH!
The smoke gathered around him and then dispersed to reveal the daemon playing a double necked, blood red guitar.
Avergol: I'm a devil!
I love metal!
Check this rip its fucking tasty!
And then his guitar screamed to life with an awesome solo. Ranger and X were nearly blasted off their feet by the force of the solo. Nukid was flung back towards them barely missing them and landing in a heap.
Avergol: I'm a devil I can do what I want!
What ever I've got I'm gonna flaunt.
There's never been a rock off that I've ever lost.
I can't wait to take Looney back to hell.
I'm gonna fill him with my hot Daemon gel.
Looney visibly gulped at this.
Avergol: I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel!
"NO!" Lunatic screamed cringing in terror.
"Come on X, we gotta bring the thunder!" Ranger proclaimed.
"There's just no way that this will work," X replied disheartened. "That was a master piece."
"Listen to me," Ranger said firmly.
"He rocks to hard because he's from another realm."
"God damn it X!" Ranger snapped. "He's gonna make Looney his sex slave. The poor fictor will gargle mayonnaise."
"No." Lonney whimpered.
"Unless we bust a massive monster mamojam!"
"Ranger," X said grimly. "We've been through so much shit."
"Lectured dicks about blades," Ranger noted.
They turned to face Avegol faces set in determination.
Both: Now its time to blow this fucker down.
Ranger: Come on X now its time to blow doors down.
X: I hear you Ranger now its time to blow doors down!
Ranger: Light up the night cause it's time for a show down!
X: We're gonna bend you over and take it up brown town!
Both: Now we've got to blow this fucker down!
Lunatic: He's gonna rape me if they do not blow doors down.
Ranger: Come on X, cause its time to blow doors down!
X: OHH! BROTHER I HEAR YA! IT'S TIME FOR THE SMACK DOWN!
With that X picked up the tempo on Nevan while Ranger lead vocals.
Ranger: Hey Anti-Christer,
Avergol.
We know your weakness!
Its called our rock!
We break the rules!
And blow your mind!
We will defeat you,
for all man kind!
You hold a sickle!
We hold a key!
You are a Devil!
WE ARE THE TEAM!
Then both began strumming their guitars in time to their words.
Both: We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
We are the Team!
And then both pulled a massive power chord!
Both: DUET FUSION RITUAL!
"What?" Avergol demanded. "Screw it all! I'm just killing you guys!
The suddenly the air around Ranger and X warped and the wind began to howl.
"OH FUCK!" X yelled.
"Suddenly I regret this idea," Ranger muttered.
Then the two began to swirl and mix together and a violent torrent of yells and expletives. Then it came to a halt to reveal a single solitary figure.
He was as tall as Ranger, with red hair like X, and part of a hollow mask covering his right eye. He was dressed in a grey shihaksho with a dark green cape thrown over his left shoulder and heavy boots on his feet. A single sword was in his hands with the hilt of X's zanpackuto but with the blade of Ranger's longsword Rosemont.
Silence filled the air as the new comer gathered himself together and stretched.
"Well this is interesting," he said in a voice that seemed to be an echoing fusion fo Ranger and X's voices. "Sweet echo."
"And who in Satan's name are you supposed to be?" Avergol demanded.
"Good question," the new comer replied examining his fingers. "Lets see who am I? I guess you could call me Xanger. Cliched I know to just fuse the two names together but it works for most people."
"Okay can somebody tell me what just happened?" Airnaruto asked, limping over to Nukid, his ankle twisted.
"Ranger and X just fused together," Nukid replied. "Via Dragon Ball Z logic this means that their power levels have combined into one singular power level. Since X and Ranger independently couldn't defeat Avergol they fused to combine their powers."
"Oh okay," Airnaruto said with a nod of understanding.
"I'd call bull but I'm not allowed to swear," Lunatic stated.
Xanger raised his sword.
"So Avergol," he began. "Ready for round two?"
Avergol glared at him and cast aside his guitar.
"I take it the rock off was just a ruse?" He asked.
"Yes," Xanger replied. "And you fell for it hook line and sinker."
"Well then," Avergol growled.
Then in a flash they both vanished.
With a bang they reappeared twenty feet in the air swords screaming with sparks as the dueled! They broke apart and Avergol loosed a blast of fel energy. Xanger raised his left hand silver motes of light gathering to it!
"Hakumei Cero," he announced before releasing the silver Cero which split Avergol's attack in half. Avergol vanished again to evade the attack and almost as quickly Xanger vanished as well.
They reappeared twenty feet away to Nukid and Airnaruto's right and the force and speed of their blows actually shattered the sound barrier! Xanger shoved Avergol back as demonic power gathered about his blade.
"Diablo SinfonÃa Slash!" Xanger proclaimed releasing the attack. An arcing slice of demonic power screamed forth and struck Avergol before he could bring his blade up in time to block the assault. The daemon was thrown back with a howl of rage. Xanger clapped his hands together and then pressed them to the ground. "Twilight Spike!"
A forest of silver spikes erupted from the ground and Avergol howled in pain and fury as he crashed onto them. He pulled himself off the spikes blood and ichor dripping from his wings and back.
"You worthless cowardly-!"
And arrow struck him squarely in the left eye and he howled in pain. Xanger nocked another arrow to the bone white Yumi bow he drawn from seemingly nowhere. He loosed another shaft which struck Avergol in the left triceps. Furious, Avergol snapped the two shafts off ignoring the blood and ichor now spraying from his left eye and charged Xanger. Xanger blocked his wild thrust with his bow and then smacked it against the back of Avergol's leg sending him to the ground.
Screaming in rage Avergol loosed a blast from his mouth that flung Xanger into the air. Unperturbed Xanger drew out a pair of black and white pistols and opened up on Avergol who shrieked in pain as the bullets tore into him. He flung himself into the air sword in hand heedless of the number of hits he took as he rose through Xanger's fire. Then the fused Demon/Hollow/Twilight Warrior stepped on his face pushing himself up higher and continued firing. Avergol hit the ground with a mighty crash that shook the earth.
"Shit!" Nukid yelled. "Their gonna tear this place apart!"
"Not much to tear apart," Airnaruto noted.
"Except us!"
"Oh right."
Avergol pushed himself up and then flung himself back into the air beating his wings furiously as he rose! Xanger holstered his pistols and drew out his sword again.
"Bring the dawn, Hakumei Abismo!" He proclaimed. A wave of Hollow energy and Twilight power slammed into Avergol sending him crashing back to the ground. The energy retreated to Xanger and wrapped around him forming into a suit of bone white light armor similar to Ranger's Twilight Mastery form. The sword in his hands was now massive, a fusion of the Sparda and the Dragon's Maw.
Avegol struggled to his feet but before he could even move Xanger was on him. With one punch Xanger sent Avergol flying back smashing through the hard packed earth making a trench as long as a foot ball field! The Daemon struggled to his feet only to see Xanger charging straight at him sword ready for the kill!
Then Xanger glowed and with a cry split back into X and Ranger who both crashed faces first into the dirt.
"Oh come on!" Nukid cried in dismay.
"We really just cn't get a break," Airnaruto growled.
"We're so dead," Lunatic moaned.
Avergol stood in silence for a moment as Ranger and X righted themselves seemingly incredulous.
"Okay dude," X said looking at Ranger with some degree of amusement. "There is no way I'm not telling everyone about you liking My little Pony: Friendship is Magic."
"You saw that?" Ranger exclaimed in alarm.
"We we're kind of sharing the same mind," X replied.
"Well then I'm telling everyone about..."
"Okay sorry!" X said quickly.
Then Avergol burst out laughing. He laughed so hard it was amazing he didn't pass out from lack of oxygen.
"You fools!" He proclaimed! "I've won!"
"No you haven't," Ranger replied.
"Yes I have!"
"No you haven't," X replied.
"Yes I have!"
"No you haven't," both replied.
"Oh and how do you figure that!" Avergol demanded spittle and ichor flying from his mouth.
"Say it don't spray it," X muttered.
"Because while we fought you I had my ship, the Phoenix, line up a shot with its MAC guns," Ranger said.
Avergol froze his eyes going wide.
"And now we kill you Warhammer 40k style," Ranger continued. "Orbital bombardment."
Avergol screamed in insane fury raising his sword!
Then the first to MAC rounds struck him. He howled and shrieked as additional fire from the Battlestar in orbit hammered him into oblivion. Daemon though he was, there was simply no defense against multiple 3,000 ton tungeston depleted Uranium slugs crashing into you at a fraction of lightspeed. The roar of shells and explosions temporarily deafened the Authors but when the smoke cleared, the Daemon was no more.
As if in an after thought Ranger brought out his guitar again and played a single set of chords, signifying the true end to the battle.
FAF
About two days later all six Authors were comfortably recovering back at the compound. They sat in the living room on various couches and chairs with various body parts bandaged, in slings, or splinted in place.
"So did anyone learn anything from that whole mess?" Ranger asked.
"Warhammer 40k has crazy ways of killing daemons," Lunatic replied.
"That I needed more screen time and more lines," Dawn answered.
"The some of the members of a fanbase I am a part of are psychos?" Airnaruto suggested.
"I can piss off thousands of people with just a few lines," Nukid answered.
"That Ranger is a closeted Brony," X quipped.
"How bout that whole cross dressers ball you went to?" Ranger replied darkly.
"Wait what?" Nukid asked.
"Nothing!" X yelped.
"I think that about covers everything," Dawn noted.
"I think we're missing some Linkin Park," Lunatic noted.
"No we aren't," X said curtly.
"But..."
"No. We. Aren't."
"Fine."
"Good," Ranger muttered. "Now Nukid and I can get to work on beating the shit out of that piss poor Eragon movie."
THE END!
