"So, you want personal vendettas against states? Right over there in the do-it yourself section" The librarian explained

"Thank you good sir" Dan said happily walking away towards the do-it-yourself section "Wait a minute! Drop the attitude! Let's go, he can't help us"

"I didn't say that! I can help you. But I want something in return" The librarian said

"Ugh, librarians are jerks" Dan said

"Let's hear him out" Chris said

"See that goon over there? He's got a new girlfriend"

"So?" Dan asked

"It's my wife"

"And this guy just mulls around your library?" Dan asked

"Silently mocking me" the librarian said

"The gull!" Dan exclaimed

So then Dan and Chris went into the car.

"I don't feel right about this… This is the librarian's business" Chris said

"No, it's perfect! We help someone get their revenge, and in turn he helps me! Karma!" Dan exclaimed

"Yeah but.." Chris began

"But nothing! Shut up!" Dan interrupted

"But I'm not killing anyone"

"WHAT!"

"I'm not killing someone for the librarian, that's a deal breaker"

"You've run over dozens of cyclists!"

"Yeah, but they all lived! I'm not killing this guy either"

"Now you tell me!"

"Well I was gonna say something inside but but…"

"But!"

"But then I didn't… You're right I should have…"

"You should have"

"I know! You're right…" Chris said. The goon walked out with a stack of books, humming a tune.

"I wonder if he knows how lucky he is" Dan wondered. The goon crossed the street and got hit by a passing bus. His library card fluttered to Chris' windshield as Dan said "I wonder if he knows how lucky we are. Well, ya date a married woman, get hit by a bus. Karma"

"I don't think Karma works like that…"

"You think you know how karma works?

Well I guess that's one of your many quirks

It's not like I can expect too much

You really are just still hungry from lunch" Dan sang

"I think I understand as much as you

Karma's not something that kills you

And makes you drop your shoe on the street

So then you have bare feet" Chris sang

"Oh whateveeeeeeeeer

Karma can hurt yooooooou!"

"I didn't say neveeeeeer

It just won't lose your shoooooooe!"

"What is your obsession with shoes these days?"

"Nothing, it's just interesting, like his faaaaaaace"

"To recap you don't know karma"

"I think I know as much as you do Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Ugh, that didn't even rhyme!" Dan said after the song ended

"I couldn't think of a rhyme for karma on the spot, Dan!" Chris responded. They went back into the library and grabbed the goon's library card.

"Consider your back scratched" Dan said to the librarian

"Not by us, specifically…" Chris added

"And by that you mean…?" The librarian asked. Dan put down the library card. The librarian stamped "CANCELLED" on it. "So, you want to hurt New Mexico?"

"He does, I don't really care either way" Chris answered. The librarian took out a book titled "New Mexico: A Dark and Secret History". Dan skipped through the book.

"Devil's Throne…

Something the Devil owns!

Devil's wash basin…

I bet they have the devil's raisins!

Devil's highway…

I'd rather take my way!

See, Chris, I told you it was evil!"

"Now I think you're going a bit medieval

A tad bit barbaric"

"Oh would you just cram it?

I tell you this state is bad

Why must you make me so mad?

Just help me get revenge!"

"As long as you don't destroy my hedge"

"Umm, excuse me?" The librarian interrupted the song "It gets worse" he turned the page to "Hot Air Ballooning"

"Hot air balloons?

Those New Mexican buffoons

I should beat them with my bassoon

But it was stolen by that baboon…"

"Read on

It gets much stranger, son (HEARD: "SAWHN")

Those New Mexicans are crazy about ballooning

So if you want to get them in a way that's cartoony

If you wanna get revenge

If you want them who wronged you avenged

All I'll say is this

Destroy New Mexico's biggest

Festival of all the year

Albuquerque's Festival of hot air

The Albuquerque Balloon Festival!

And never forget… NEW MEXICO IS EVIL!"