Guys, I figured out how to do a page break. Like an actual one.
I am literally SO proud of myself right now.
(Also, I am aware that it is not September during the Etoile Elections, but the song this chapter is named after really suits the mood of it, so yeah.)
Please leave a review! :3
oOOOo
Love Me Least
One: Wake Me Up When September Ends
iAtethePoisonApple
oOOOo
"Summer has come and passed,
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends."
Winter really was such a bittersweet time of year—lovely but depressing.
Romantic, but so terribly cold if one had to face it alone.
Bright, flamboyant colors faded to a grayscale canvas; warm fall breezes became harsh, icy winds, and the deep, blue lake was frozen over and coated with a very light blanket of snow.
But more than anything, winter seemed to change people.
Minamoto Chikaru sat at her humble desk in the Le Rim student council room, her back turned to the room, her wide, amber eyes staring out the window as the girl was seemingly hypnotized by the slowly falling snow, oblivious to the concerned eyes watching her every move.
"I've never seen Chikaru-oneesama looking so melancholy," Natsume Remon noted to Hyuunga Kizuna, her best friend and partner in crime. "It's a bit scary, isn't it?"
Kizuna frowned. "Scary?"
"Yes, like…," Remon paused, as if trying to think of a suitable word to describe the sensation. "Like everything's changing all at once, and even Chikaru-oneesama is affected by it. She's usually the one picking up the pieces…"
"So who will pick up her pieces?" Kizuna finished, catching onto Remon's train of thought. "Poor Chikaru-oneesama…"
Unbeknownst to the two girls, the youngest girl in the room had made her way to Chikaru's side.
Byakuden Kagome stared out the immense window for several minutes, her large, blank eyes showing no sign of outward emotion. Then, with no warning, she turned to Chikaru and said, "Oshibaru wants to know why Chikaru-oneesama is so sad."
Chikaru gave a small start and chastised herself inwardly—had she really fallen so far that she couldn't keep up an outward appearance? And in front of her kouhais, of all people…she turned and smiled gently down at Kagome, spinning the chair slightly so that the small girl could climb into her lap. "Why does Oshibaru think that I'm sad?" she asked, running her fingers through Kagome's curly locks.
"Chikaru-oneesama has always had happy eyes," Kagome stated after a moment, staring up at Chikaru unapologetically. "But now they're always so sad."
Chikaru blinked—she hadn't been expecting to be called on her slight change of demeanor since the night of the Etoile election, but apparently, she'd been more obvious than she thought. No matter what, though, she couldn't have little Kagome worried about her. "I'm not sad, Kagome-chan," she said after a moment, kissing the girl's cheek and smiling fondly when she blushed a deep red. "Not for myself, at least. It's sad to watch so many sweet, innocent girls getting hurt over the actions of others and be helpless to stop it, I suppose. But there's no easy way around this, is there?" she asked, turning to Kagome, her fingers buried in the younger girl's hair.
Kagome shook her head sagely, and Chikaru giggled. "Oshibaru says he wishes everyone would just be back to normal again," the young girl stated quietly after a moment, and the tone in Kagome's voice nearly broke Chikaru's heart. "That way, nobody would hurt anymore."
"Sometimes things hurt us because we care," Chikaru murmured, "and if they don't hurt us, then they weren't worth the pain to begin with." She sighed, feeling the younger girl's eyes once again boring into her, as if they were piercing her very soul. It was impossible to lie to those blank, omniscient eyes. "If there were anything I could do at this point—anything to help these girls—I would in a heartbeat, but I think this time, they need to work things out on their own in order to realize what they need."
"And what about Chikaru-oneesama?"
Chikaru paused—she'd been hoping to distract Kagome with her half-truth, but she should have realized it was a hopeless cause before she began. "What about me?" she asked softly, resting her chin against the smaller girl's shoulder as Kagome shifted in her lap.
"What does Chikaru-oneesama need?"
Her breath caught in her throat, because at that moment, several images had swum unbidden to the surface of her mind—a prince and a princess, a dragon that was too large and vicious to slay. The feeling of foreboding—the moment just before you lose something forever, something that you know, deep inside, you lost a long time ago. A stranger—a stony, poised girl with the temper of a lion.
The night of the Etoile election—the earsplitting silence, the bittersweet ecstasy of soft, possessive hands curled around her wrists. A night full of empty promises, of sepia-tinted memories of days that were so far away from them now.
"Chikaru-oneesama?"
The hesitant voice startled Chikaru from her thoughts, and she took a deep, bracing breath before turning back to an inquisitive Kagome. "Happiness," she said after a moment, stroking the girl's cheek with delicate, narrow fingers. "I need happiness for all those who lost theirs."
Kagome frowned slightly, as though she knew Chikaru wasn't telling the full truth, but slipped out of her lap and scurried back over to Kizuna and Remon anyway, leaving the older girl to her thoughts.
Chikaru watched the girls playing together for a moment before turning back to the frosty window.
Winter really had changed everything.
But this winter had gone on for almost five years now, and still, the snow was falling.
"Would you stop that already? Your pacing is making me tired."
Tomori Shion turned to shoot a glare to an apathetic Kenjo Kaname, who was positioned in the president's seat, her legs resting lazily on top of the enormous desk. "Yes, I can tell," the blonde replied sarcastically. "Isn't there something you're supposed to be doing?"
Kaname shrugged. "Well, since Momomi broke it off-"
"Okay! Sorry I asked," Shion stated loudly, cutting a smirking Kaname off before she could go into detail. "I think I've walked in on you and Momomi 'working' enough over the past five years that I deserve a break from hearing all about your distasteful personal life."
"Somebody needs to get laid," the dark-haired girl mumbled under her breath. "Jealous much?"
Shion ground her teeth, her fists clenching—she hated how easy it was for Kaname to get under her skin, but she wasn't about to correct the girl. She couldn't imagine the hell the taller girl would put her through if she found out just how Shion had celebrated Spica's victory. "Watch yourself, Kaname—I can easily get a new assistant."
"But nobody knows this school as well as myself and Momomi," Kaname replied in a bored tone. "You seriously need to take that stick out of your ass, I bet girls would be all over you if you'd just loosen up." Her smirk widened as she watched Shion turn an unhealthy shade of fuchsia. "I bet you're still a virgin," she quipped, her eyes flashing maliciously.
"That's it, Kaname—leave!" Shion spat, pointing towards the door.
Kaname scoffed. "Whatever," she muttered, kicking her feet off the desk and sauntering towards the door.
Shion stood in the center of the room, stewing, her face still bright red even after the door had closed behind Kaname, her arms tucked tightly around her body. If it were up to her, she would have gotten rid of the girl years ago, but, as Kaname had pointed out, nobody knew Spica better, and she wouldn't settle for less than the best as her right hand.
"I'm not a virgin," the Spican mumbled under her breath, as if Kaname could somehow still hear her.
Slowly, Shion began to cool down, and walked around her desk, sighing as she sunk into her chair, fingers massaging her temples.
She prided herself on working her best under stress, but things had been absolutely hectic since the Etoile election. Kaname and Momomi could no longer be in the same room for more than five minutes without sinking into a full-blown yelling match, and even her secretary, spunky Okuwaka Tsubomi, seemed to have lost a good portion of her fire after that night. Shion was virtually on her own for training the new Etoile, preparing for the new semester next year, and running the entirety of Spica.
And then there was Chikaru.
Chikaru, who had the most annoying habit of invading her every thought in some way, shape or form since the night of the election. If emotions had been on the backburner before, there was literally no room for them right now, but damn it if Shion hadn't wasted hours because of the way her thoughts kept drifting to the Le Rim president.
Lately, it seemed as though every move Chikaru made was meant to push her a little closer to the edge—to chip away at her remaining willpower. She wasn't called the Shadow Empress for nothing, after all; sweet, innocent Chikaru always had an agenda, despite always meaning well. Shion knew her childhood friend too well to overlook the glances that lasted just a moment too long, and the accidental brush of fabric against fabric that left her longing for the touch of the pale skin underneath it.
Chikaru was brilliant—she had to know the effect that she was having on the Spican. But Chikaru was also well-aware of the circumstances preventing them from becoming any more than a fond memory.
It wasn't fair at all, the way she was playing Shion.
She knew why they couldn't happen—she knew why Shion had ended their friendship in the first place. A slight swell of rage bubbled up within the Spican at the thought—Chikaru had always been so good at manipulating the people around her, but Shion wouldn't be another statistic.
But damn it, it was hard.
For years, Shion had done all she could to distance herself from Chikaru and put her traitorous feelings behind her, while Chikaru, in turn, had done everything she could to make doing so impossible. Shion had climbed the tedious ladder to become Spica's president, and Chikaru had effortlessly risen to the top of Le Rim, making it so there was not a single day that Shion wasn't reminded of what she'd given up.
And it wasn't fair, not at all.
It was as if Chikaru thought she hadn't suffered enough, like she thought that giving her up had been too easy, and that Shion needed to be reminded of her mistakes every day.
But it wasn't a mistake—Chikaru was her past, her childhood. And there's a reason they call it the past.
Right?
A/N: I won't be replying to reviews in this story unless a question is asked—like one that needs to be answered, and wouldn't be answered in the story itself. It's just to save space and stop cluttering the story, please know that I do appreciate every review I get, and please continue reviewing because it is my motivation!
That said, I did want to address the first review I got for this story given by Unknown, since I feel like it's necessary.
First off, thank you for your long review—I really do appreciate those! Thank you also for the compliment of my writing, I'm glad you like it :3 I understand your complain about my stories never being finished, and more than once I've considered taking them down myself, but the thing is, I'm a very random(?)-minded person, (there IS an actual term out there somewhere :P) and I never know if I'll continue one of my old fics if I get the motivation to do so, like I did with How Can You See With Your Eyes Closed. Also, as a reader, I enjoy reading stories even when they aren't complete if they're of quality, and I've heard many readers complaining about stories that have been taken down. For these reasons, I won't take my stories down, but I will try to complete my stories- trust me, it's just very hard for me, because I get distracted extremely easily, and get plot bunnies right and left. I've actually been diagnosed for something along those lines. Anyway, I can't promise I won't publish anything else in the meantime because of that reason, but I will try and finish my old stuff.
