"Are you sure about this?" Chris asked the librarian
"Why don't you ask my masters in library sciences" The librarian responded, pointing to his degree
"Librarians… you better be right about this!" Dan said, walking out
"Woah, check it out" Chris said, pointing at the man the bus had run over moments earlier being lifted into an ambulance.
"Am I gonna make it?" he stuttered
"Of course you are" The paramedic said unsurely
"See, he's fine!" Dan responded
/
"So you're going to New Mexico, why?"
"Dan wants to disrupt the Hot Air balloon festival
I just hope he doesn't use an anvil" Chris sang
"Why? And why are you singing?" Elise asked
"Because that state, New Mexico
Is no good, it broke his window" Chris sang
"That's completely absurd, and why are you singing!"
"Well, its Dan, what do you expect?
For his revenge to make sense in any aspect?"
"JUST TELL ME WHY YOU'RE SINGING!" Elise yelled
"I'm singing for one reason, just one reason at all
This is a MUUUUUUUUUUU-SIIIIIIIIIIII-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"
"Can I come?" Elise asked
/
Dan was throwing things into his backpack for the trip
"Crowbar, hammer, flashlight, survival knife, throwing bricks, half a turkey sandwich, Brutus… yep, that oughta do". Dan slung his backpack over his arm; it broke and everything fell out. Chris walked in.
"All packed?" he asked
"Shut up" Dan said
"Elise is coming with us" Chris said
"I did not authorize that!"
"I already told her it was okay!"
"Unacceptable, she stays!"
"Then I stay and you can go to New Mexico by yourself"
They stared at each other for a few minutes before Dan said
"I get shotgun!"
"Nope!"
They got in the car. On the way there, Dan repeatedly kicked Chris' seat, due to him forced to sit in the back.
"All this driving is making me sleepy… Dan, stop kicking my seat!" Chris stated
"Dan, mamina mamina!" Dan mocked
"Something on your mind Dan?" Elise asked
"Why does she get to be in the front seat!" Dan asked
"Because its our car" Chris responded
"Well that's not fair! This is madness! What's she even doing here!"
"You aren't the only one
To whom New Mexico has won
I hate it too
The memories are stuck like glue" Elise sang
"Oh, now she gets to sing, too! What's up with that!" Dan exclaimed
"It was years ago when I was young
I was eating cotton candy; it melted on my tounge
But I was cornered by roadrunners and they stared me down
They took my candy and ran into town
Oh I've always hated New Mexico
More than you could ever know
I've wanted my revenge on that state so long
But I was scared people would think I was wrong
And right then there so soon
A cactus went and popped my balloon
So you see I hate New Mexicooooooo…
More than you could ever know…" Elise sang in her head for no one to hear over a flashback
"Hello! I asked what it did to you!" Dan asked
"…I don't wanna talk about it" Elise replied
"You can't say something like that and not follow up! Chris, back me up on this. CHRIS!"
But Chris was asleep. Else reached over to steer, barely avoiding crashing into numerous trucks. After that, Dan held Chris' eyes open with his fingers. "I don't think this is necessary" Chris said
"It really is" Dan responded
"But we're in the desert, my eyes are drying out" Chris said
"…blink!" Dan blinked Chris' eyes for him and smiled
They pulled up to a gas station. Everybody got out simultaneously.
"Anybody want anything?" Elise asked
"Just my sweet sweet revenge. And maybe some peanut brittle." Dan responded. He proceeded to stretch and yawn, only to be hit in the back of the head by a flying pinecone. Dan turned around to see it came from near a sign that said "Arizona" on it. He got angry and took out a notepad. He flipped through a couple of pages before settling on one and writing "ARIZONA" at the bottom.
"You'll get yours Arizona
Right after I get home-a
I will get my payback
I will burn down every shack
I'll burn your crops
And steal your mops
And drain your lakes
And fill them with snakes
I'll rob your stores
And pollute your shores" Dan sang
"Uh, Dan, Arizona doesn't /have/ any shores" Chris interrupted
"…shut up" Dan said "I'll kill your livestock
I'll shove them off the dock!"
"Dan, if they don't have a shore, they don't have a dock" Chris interrupted again
"Just shut up again!" Dan responded. Chris walked into the convenience store.
"Alright, I've got the granola, some fruit, a six pack of fennel juice and Dan's peanut brittle." Elise listed
"Did he give you money for that?" Chris asked
"No but don't worry I've got enough"
"I got chips, some chunky cheese wads, some chewy cheese wads, chocolate soda…" Chris listed
"Chris?" Elise interrupted
"…fizzle sticks, cocoa blasters…" Chris continued
"Chris, remember what we talked about?" Elise asked
"Which time?"
"About eating healthier"
"It doesn't count if its on a road trip, does it?"
"Yes, it does."
"Oh. Well, then I'll only get one thing."
"Thank you, I only worry about your health because I love –"
"Yes! Milkshake machine! I choose milkshakes!" Chris dropped everything and ran over there, then proceeded to hug the machine
"Okay." Elise sighed
"With cookies in them!"
"Chris!"
"It's still one thing if the cookies are inside the milkshake!"
"Okay, but we're having salad for dinner"
"Dan said we were having Burgers"
"If Dan jumped off a cliff, would you?" Elise asked. Chris pondered it for a moment
"Chris!"
"We – ah- wu – eh - Well I mean it depends!"
"Don't jump off a cliff!"
"Well I wasn't planning on it"
"But if Dan jumped, you would?" Elise asked. Chris pondered that for a moment as well
"Chris!" Elise yelled. They then walked out of the store
"Took you long enough, I have to pee!" Dan said
"So? Go inside and pee, we'll wait" Chris responded
"There's no time!" Dan bared his teeth and breathed heavily
"Dan, calm down. I got you some peanut brittle" Elise said. Dan snatched it from her hands
"I'm saving it for later!" Dan said
"You should at least say thank you" Chris pointed out
"You're welcome, now hurry up!" Dan yelled "What is wrong with you people, GET IN THE CAR! Am I the only one who cares about revenge on New Mexico!" Elise began to get into the car; Chris stopped her
"Shouldn't we go?" She asked
"Hold on, I wanna see if he can fog up the whole window"
They passed by a sign that said "Welcome to New Mexico; Go home, Dan"
"It knows we're here!" Dan exclaimed
"Drop me off at the next exit." Elise said
"It's Roswell." Chris responded
"Er – um – Girl stuff." Chris stopped the car
"We'll take you into town" Chris said
"This is good. See ya!" She got out of the car
"Finally!" Dan got into the front seat. Elise ran off into the desert.
