CHAPTER 6 – LATE NIGHTS
Zayn's P.O.V
It was one in the morning and I had been woken up again by an absence in my bed. Georgia had been spending the night a lot this past week, but nearly every night she had woken up and left the bed. This time I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking around to see where she was. I saw her at the end of the bed, sitting dead straight with her hands in her lap.
"Georgie? What is this – you not sleeping! But you sleep all the time!" I said, smiling at her, but she didn't even turn around. Usually she laughs at my corny jokes, but now it was like she didn't even hear me. I was starting to get really worried, so I got out of bed and sat beside her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.
"What's the matter, boo? Boo?" I realised she was crying. Her cheeks were wet, and she was catching her tears in her hands so they didn't go on the bed. I pulled her close into my chest, wrapping one arm around her and stroking her hair with the other.
"Shhhh baby, its ok. What's wrong? Come on, you can tell me! Please, Georgia. Just tell me." I pleaded, but she just shook her head and sobbed some more, finally letting sound come out. I rocked her back and forth, stroking her hair and rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. She stopped after a while, and just shook in my arms. I pulled us back and lay down on the bed, pulling her face up to face mine. She looked into my eyes, her eyes so wide and frightened. I had no idea what was wrong, but I knew not to push it. If she didn't want to tell me, she wouldn't. It was the same with why she didn't want anyone to know about us; it'll be the same now. So I just kissed her, tucked her hair behind her ears, and cuddled her till she fell asleep again, this time mumbling like she was having a bad dream. I didn't go to sleep for a long time, trying to figure out why she was so upset. Eventually I was just so exhausted I fell asleep, no closer to my answers.
Georgia's P.O.V
I knew Zayn was worried about me, but I couldn't tell him. There was nothing that I wanted more, but I just couldn't. He was watching me over breakfast, but I didn't look up. I focused on eating my cereal, trying hard not to meet his gaze.
I had realised that I couldn't continue seeing Zayn. It would be too dangerous. I knew that someday soon he would want to go public, and I just couldn't see how I would survive that. Somehow Niall hadn't found out my last name, but there was no way I could avoid it once we went public. And then everyone would know, I would have to run again.
I had been waking up each night after the same bad dream. I dreamt that everyone had found out. Niall was so hurt he just faded away, and no matter how hard I searched I couldn't find him. Then Zayn appeared, and he was just so angry at me. He wouldn't talk to me, just stared at me with so much anger in his eyes. Then suddenly all the people from my past appeared around him; my mum, dad, step-dad, Niall, all my friends, even the stupid cottage that I burned down. They all advanced on me and suffocated me under a pile of hate, and that's when I wake up, usually in tears. I didn't want Zayn to find out, but I had woken him up when I sat up out of bed and he had found me.
What made it worse, so much worse, is that I now loved Zayn. I loved him so much it made me nauseous just thinking about leaving him. But I had too – for my own selfish reasons I had to hurt him. I bit my lip and felt tears start to slide down my cheek. I wiped at them angrily, but a hand stopped me and wrapped themselves around me. I sank back into him, just memorizing his smell, his warmth, his touch. I wouldn't have it for very long.
"I know you don't want to tell me what's wrong, but I promise I'll be there for you, whenever you need." He whispered into my ear. It made me cry more, knowing that that promise was one that would inevitably break.
I twisted in my chair, kissing him and whispering 'Thank you' into his lips. He just nodded and hugged me once more before returning to his breakfast.
"I think I have to go back to my flat today. I haven't been there in a couple of days, and I need to change my clothes" I said, trying to change the subject.
"Sure babe, take all the time you need. I'll pick you up at 7, yeah?" he said, still looking at me with concern. I nodded, took one last mouthful of cereal and went upstairs to get my things. I kissed him goodbye, waved to the other boys who were slowly trickling in to breakfast, and drove back to my flat. I knew that Zayn would be telling the other boys of my major meltdown, and soon I would have a tirade of texts full of concern. So I switched my phone off – their kindness was too much to handle.
When I got inside I just stared at myself in the hallway mirror, watching the tears slide down my face. I shook myself and looked at the clock, I had two hours until Zayn picked me up again, and I had a lot to do.
I was sitting on my bed, feeling numb all over when Zayn buzzed the intercom. I pressed the button, not giving him time to talk and just waited for him to come up. When he opened the door, he immediately came over and gave me a hug, concern filling his eyes.
"I was worried about you all day. I couldn't get on to you at all." He said still hugging me tight. It just tipped me over the edge. Suddenly I couldn't even speak, I was just sobbing so hard. He looked at me, pulled me to the couch and said,
"Ok, you have to tell me what's wrong. I can't stand seeing you like this and not being able to do anything about it. Please Georgia, just tell me." His eyes were so desperate, I just wanted to spill out everything. But I didn't.
"I- I'm so.. so sorry Zayn… I- I just can't… I – I love you Zayn." I said, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. I saw his melt and he gave me the best kiss of my life.
"I love you too Georgia." He mumbled into my hair. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I was about to do. I pushed him away gently, looking him directly in the eye while trying to control my sobs.
"Zayn, I'm so so sorry. I – I love you so much, ok? You have to remember that. I – I'm just so sorry." I cried, pulling him in for one last hug, inhaling his scent so I would never forget it. He was surprised, he didn't relax into my embrace.
"Georgia… I don't understand. What are you doing?" he said, pulling me back and looking at me hard. I looked at him one last time, biting my lip to stop myself from screaming, and just broke free and ran. I ran all the way down the stairs and to the door before Zayn started following me, he was so surprised.
"GEORGIA! WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" he yelled down the stairs, pursuing me. I ran faster, hardly seeing where I was going because of my tears. I jumped in my car, having put my bags in there before he arrived. I started the engine and pulled away so fast I nearly hit another car. Then I just drove and drove. I could see Zayn following me in his car, so I took a couple of unexpected turns and made my way around in the small streets. He must have lost me at some point, because I didn't see his car for half an hour. So I pulled back onto the main road and just drove, straight out of London and away from the love of my life. Nothing had hurt so much before, and I had to live with it for the rest of my life.
