"She's not dead" He hears the denial, mixed with panic in voice, but he doesn't answer- just crouches down checking a thin neck for a beat on an obvious dead body. His action are purely for the person standing above him, grabbing at strands of hair "Casey?" He closes his eyes blocking out the voice- tries too concentrate, he's hoping, no he's praying for just one thump, for a flicker of life. He counts backwards in his head to stay in control, but deep down in that hallow place he knows this is futile. "Casey" he pulls back, fingers running down the length of neck and sits back on his thighs "Hughes!" The voice comes out strangled, broken almost vicious. He slowly looks up face showing it all. He opens his mouth- words trapped behind teeth. He shakes his head, turns away from the look- eyes falling back on a lifeless body. If it weren't for the wedding ring on her finger, he doesn't think he would have been able too recognize her.
Standing up he reaches for a shaken body "don't!" is screamed as tears fall down cheeks like thick waves, chocolate brown eyes distant. He backs into a corner smacking the reached out hand away, he crumbles to the fall and pushes into the wall, pulling hard at blond roots, those same chocolate brown eyes begging him too say something different…say it's not so. Maybe it's a mistake, it's someone else. Looking at those eyes he knows he can't, those same eyes live inside the lifeless staring unseeing at the ceiling.
He want's too hold him, absorb some of his pain. Instead he reaches for a shawl laying over a nearby couch. He hears whimpers and desperate pleas of don't please and mom, mom, mom chanted in a small voice as he covers her- her feet poking out at the ends, like she's sleeping on a lazy Sunday morning.
It was how he found his mom, except she was splayed out on her stomach as if she just came home from work and dropped to the bed exhausted. The big hole in the back of her head quickly dissolved that notion. His thoughts instantly go to his father, where was he? The tilted lamp and foot hanging off the edge of bed tells him, the red stain on grey dress shirt and shocked look on face tells Casey, his dad didn't see it coming.
He knows Luke's pain, it's his own.
"Casey?" Noah taps his shoulder, the memory dislodging from the forefront- but it's there lurking, waiting too invade when least expected. He smiles weakly, winks too give the false impression that he wasn't just trapped in a walking nightmare. He loops his hand through a strap "it's nice of Marcus to give us this" he pats the bag that hangs off his shoulder, that same weak small in place, he thinks that does it, that Noah doesn't see- but they're close he sees everything.
Casey steps out of Noah's reach and heads for the door, he's trying like crazy to let this be dropped.
Noah pulls him back, his hand fitting into the crook at elbow "thinking about your mom?" He sucks in a gulp of air"…. about Lily?" Casey just nods doesn't, won't look him in the face. Instead he focuses on a picture seated nicely on the dresser "Casey?"
"Noah please" he knows he's begging, but he has to, this conversation needs to be shelved for now. Their journey the only thing they should be engrossed in. Noah echo's that same weak smile and leans into Casey's warmth, brushing his lips against cheek. Casey revels in it "I miss them….I miss him" he squeaks out, pressing his cheek deeper into lips. "They have to be there…they have to be."
"They will be, I feel it in my bones. Luke wouldn't do that to me, he'd do anything to get back to me…anything to get back to us…so would Reid" he pulls back searching Casey's eyes for understanding "you do know that right? It's not just about Luke anymore, you matter to him…I matter." Noah leans back in, his lips now running over an eyebrow as Casey's hands pull at the back of his shirt seeking solace.
Three years, two months ago, he would have balked at these intimate gestures- screamed he wasn't gay. Maybe he wasn't, maybe it was just something between them.
All he knew was that, he never hesitated to hold Noah, scratch Luke's scalp, let Reid lay on him- Reid's hands always ending up under his shirt seeking more warmth. He welcomed it, it let him know he wasn't alone and if he could help it, he would never be.
Maybe he was a victim of his surroundings and they somehow did this to him, made him change. He didn't care though, he would stick with Noah- find Luke and Reid and fight like hell too keep it that way.
"We should go, we've taken up too much of Marcus's time already" Noah turns to leave, but he stumbles back, Casey's fingers still laced in his shirt "what?" Noah says with a little mirth.
Casey knows it's to lighten the mood- still he pushes forth with his question "were you there?" The little smile on Noah's face drops, he knows exactly what Casey's asking. Noah closes his eyes, he shakes his head to drown it out "I know I said too leave it alone but…" Casey looks around- eyes right back on that dresser "I remember Damian asking you, if you wanted too feel the same pain as…." He trails off- can't say the name, flashes of his parents, a cold neck and Luke's pained look blurring his vision. He can feel Noah start too tremble, the answer given silently to him.
"I heard it" he finally says "we were late, Reid and I…. you should've seen the upstairs, Lily got off easy." Noah's voice cracks "I've never seen Reid look so…. lost."
"How'd you-"
"Damien let us go. It was a game to him, if I had known you two would've come looking for us I…." tears spill over and he drops his head "you shouldn't have seen that, not so soon after…."
Casey runs his hand through Noah's hair and fights with all his might to forget that day.
They came in under a blanket of darkness, just needed to make sure everyone was safe. Reid told them it was a bad idea- nothing good could come of it. Casey standing over his parents lifeless body's told him Reid was right. As he stood there staring at the still figures, no emotion crossing his face, he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. Looking into Reid's eyes, his voice saying we should leave. Upon hearing those words he falls apart, his cries bouncing off the walls, body convulsion with pain.
It was the first time Reid had held him and in the middle of that gruesome display, Casey prayed he always would.
"Sorry" he hears like a strangle brings him back again. He tilts his head to the side watching Noah intensely. He grabs him by the face, fingers going up the side, tangling into hair "you didn't kill Lily, you didn't kill any of them. Damian did and one day he'll pay." He drops his hands from the sides of face, pushing Noah backwards accidentally- his rage getting the best of him. He grabs his hand and pulls him to the door "come on, we gotta go, they're going to be there."
"You feel it too?"
Casey stops in the frame, his anger eating him alive. The lost look on Noah's face softens him, it's his time to protect, too be brave. Noah needs a break. He grips the sides of Noah's waist, kneading in- lips leaning against ear "I feel it too."
The sun barely peeks through when Luke gets up throwing items into a bag, feet stomping on a dim flame. Reid watches him quietly- doesn't try and get in his way are speak too much. This Luke needs to keep busy, this Luke needs plans, ideas so he can make it through another day. "I'm hungry" Reid says, knowing this is a task Luke could do. Luke is good at that, he will come through. "I would, but…" he points to his side and shrugs his shoulders.
Luke smirks and continues too pack "don't worry, as soon as I find us a ride, I'll get you something." Reid smiles and gets up, he's a little sore but he'll manage, he has to, they're about twelve hours outside of where they need to be, they can't stop now.
"You okay?" Reid waves him off- doesn't want a fuss. He likes this Luke- wants to keep this Luke, this Luke doesn't panic, this Luke takes what he needs, this Luke is a survivor. Reid knows it won't last and he'll break down, feel guilty about the things they do to keep going- however Reid is happy for the break. More then willing to let someone else- at least for right now make the decisions.
Luke slings the duffle over his shoulder and walks toward "him it's time."
"Lead the way."
He had thirty seconds to get in and out. He remembers Casey telling him that most house alarms had a thirty second window.
"As long as you came from the front entrance, it could be the occupants. The system would give them time too press in the code. A window, backdoor would instantly go off."
The memory of Casey and his words give him comfort. He never asked Casey how he knew these things, but they were best friends growing up, he knew Casey went through a 'rebel faze' a 'I'm badass, even if mom is the chief of police faze.'
He shook is head deciding to focus on the task at hand. "Thirty seconds," he mumbles He glances over at Reid whose head is pressed into the car window. He had to do this, they had no food and Luke couldn't risk using the ATM- not right now.
It wasn't much, but it was something.
Watching the house from a distance, he can tell everyone's left- while they're starting their work day, he's starting a new day of fighting to live-take care of what he's got…take care of who he's got. As he stars hard at the ranch style house , it looks as if the kitchen is right off the front entrance, it's enough time…. he hopes. "I'll be back" he doesn't wait for a response- just gets out of the car and runs across the street.
He hardly breaths as he manipulates the lock. Another thing he learned in Casey's class of 'how to' "never kick in the door- work the lock first, you never know."Casey's voice rings through his head as he runs in, the beeps slow one right after the other.
He finds the kitchen in record time and heads to the fridge flinging it open. Without blinking, he pulls out a huge shopping bag from his jacket, his movements mechanical- an arm coming up and scoping around what's on top shelf.
Luke runs from the house, hopping back into the car, throwing the bag into Reid's lap. The alarm goes off as soon as their car hit's the corner, free and clear.
It all happened so fast, he wonders as he ran from the house if he were made- built for this. He takes steady breaths too stop the tears "later" he whispers "…later."
As their car makes it on to the highway- the crinkling of the shopping bag the only thing heard, they both know they've done it again- made it without a hiccup. "We'll have too change cars soon" Luke nods his head in understand- eyes fixed on the road.
"Another hour and I will, you got the screw driver right?" Reid gives his own nod "good cause will have to change plates again also."
"Oh yes! Reid shouts, the sound making Luke jump.
"What?"
"Meatloaf" he opens up the container showing it to Luke. Its upside down and crumbled due to Luke's force, but sure enough it's meatloaf "pay dirt!" Reid picks up a piece and stuffs it in his mouth, crewing in bliss. Sure it's cold and he probably wishes it were more, but it sate's him completely, at least for right now.
Luke smiles- eyes focused on the road ahead and waits. A cold piece of meat bushes against his lips. Eagerly he takes it, lips curving as he chews. He want's too feel bad, feel horrible about what he just did to the nameless, unknown family.
The car stops in traffic and he leans back into the seat staring ahead- another piece of meat coming into view. He opens up. The food dropping in his mouth like medicine "you did good Snyder."
Luke turns his head smirking at the compliment.
A twist of a bottle cap is heard, the little white cap flung somewhere never to be seen again. Reid takes a long pull, the smell of Pepsi filling the small car. After the belch and smack on chest, it's bent into Luke's lips like a baby bottle. He doesn't hold it, just tips his head back while Reid pours. "Thanks" he says when the bottle retreats.
"No. Thank you." Luke smiles at that, but really there's no thanks needed. Reid needed nourishments. It would help strengthen him, help him heal a lot quicker.
"You okay now?" Reid gives him the thumbs up and bites down on a piece of cold potato. He wants to hate himself for doing these things. For intruding, invading on peoples lives and making them feel unsafe when they came home and saw what had been done, but looking over at Reid he can't, he knows Reid would do the same for him…has done the same for him, so Luke would do what needed to be down. Every. Single. Time.
Like he said, he'd cry about it later.
"Where are we now?" Reid asked pulling Luke from his thoughts.
"We're just about to enter North Dakota."
"Remember-"
"I know. Take 258, so we can get to 281south. Got it. Remember me and Noah came up with this."
Reid rolls his eyes "that's wonderful sweet pea, but I was going to remind you about ditching our ride and getting a new one."
"Oh"
"Oh"
"I'm just…."
"I know, you want to see them."
"God, I hope they're there."
"They will be" Luke sighs in relief, he really needed to hear that. No bad thoughts only positive. Reid can see his words have relaxed. He lets the window down and lets the wind whip through his hair. He lays his hand on Luke's thigh and gives his own sigh of relief when Luke's hand covers his squeezing. "they will be" he says again, watching as the sun disappears behind a puff of cloud.
