Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM.


Chapter 2

Alone

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

(Stop and Stare- One Republic)

I sat in the empty bus and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. One gently slides down my cheek and then another followed. Tears too are traitor, they escape without former notice and once they flow, you cannot do anything to stop them. I wanted them to stop, desperately so. I did not wish to make a scene or anyone see me crying. Just then the bus started filling up with people and a young woman occupied the seat next to mine.

I quickly wiped away my tears but they kept falling.

'Are you okay?" She inquired.

"Yes." I smiled brokenly.

I fixed my gaze outside the window while I could feel the woman looking at me perplexed until she finally shrugged and looked away, I could see her doing this from the corner of my eye.

This was it. Me. Alone again.

Jake had left the hospital as soon as the doctor had told him everything was fine, I still had three weeks to go. This was just a false alarm, probably due to stress. He had not even come talk to me, asked if I was okay. He had not even talked to me! He had not even stayed to make sure I reached home safely. It baffled me as to why Jake did not care anymore.

This was not how we were. This was not how we used to function. I was bad to him but he was always good to me. That was the rule. That was the way we were, until we weren't like that anymore. Until he left me. He wasn't supposed to leave, we were supposed to be together forever. Us against the world. But he left! That's what he did. He. Just. Left.

I wanted to get over it. After all it had been years now since he left but a part of me still hoped, rather believed he would come back. Like those other times, this time too he would be back. I wanted him to come back. After all what was I without him? He was my own personal ray of sunshine. He was the one who made me happy, who actually cared about making me happy. Hadn't he himself once said, "I would never give up on you." He had so confidently claimed that he would never let go. He would always be there no matter what. And now he had just left.

I shut my eyes as images flew in front of my eyes. I put a hand possessively on my swollen stomach.

I love you, baby .

My heart ached as I realized this was not enough.

….

I got home to the cold empty apartment. All I wanted to do was drop down on the bed and fall into a deep slumber, yet I had needs to tend to. My stomach growled, and although if it was up to me I would have just ignored it. My back ached and my eyes were heavy with sleep. Yet now there was another I had to take care of. And I could never compromise his safety.

The fridge was almost empty. I reminded myself of the impending grocery trip. I managed to find some items to fix myself a healthy meal.

Finally exhausted, I crawled into my cold bed and pulled the pillow close. I did not want to be alone. I hated it. I wanted strong arms to surround me and a warm body to hold me close.

That night I cried myself to sleep.


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