Disclaimer: The world of SVM belongs to solely to CH and TB to AB.
Heart pounding, Sookie bolted upright in bed. A quick glance around confirmed she was home. Alone.
She rubbed her eyes, madly trying to separate her dream from reality. It had all seemed so real, so very real. She could still feel his hands: on her body, in her hair, pulling off her clothing. If she closed her eyes she knew the images would be right there, unavoidably front and center. So she continued to sit, eyes wide open, taking deep breaths to calm herself.
"It was only a dream. It was only a dream," she found herself muttering out loud. Maybe if she said it enough times she would believe it.
It was early, the room was still dark but murky sunlight was starting to paint the edges of her windows. It must be just past dawn. Knowing that going back to sleep wasn't going to happen, she unwound herself from her damp sheets and made her way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror she absently ran her fingers down her neck. Turning her head side to side she looked closely. She was fairly certain that he had not bitten her the other night. She didn't remember any bites, but she had basically left her body a few times so a bite wasn't out of the realm of possibility. That morning at the Meridian she had also spent a long time looking in the mirror and then again in the shower too; closely examining her body and not finding any fang marks. So why was she looking again? Ugh - because she could still feel the drag of his fangs from that dream, that's why! Another shiver skidded down her spine at the thought.
When they had first kissed that night a little thrill had filled her when his fangs had abruptly descended. He had pulled back looking into her eyes as he opened his mouth to display them fully. He had wanted her to see them. He wasn't going to hide them. She wasn't stupid, she knew what he was and that fangs were part and parcel to being a vampire. She smiled at the memory of how she had surprised him. Reaching out to touch them, she had run her index finger down one fang, back and forth over his bottom lip and then down the other fang. Then she had all but jumped into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she sealed her mouth to his again. He wasn't the only one surprised at what she had done. When had she become so forward, so aggressive, so bold? She was still a little bewildered at her own actions that night. One thing she had no doubt about was that he was definitely a vampire.
Sookie had thought for sure he was going to bite her. His fangs had been down much of the night they spent together and he hadn't refrained from using them against her skin. He just hadn't bitten. What she hadn't expected was just how much she had wanted those fangs…in her. She traced her neck again remembering the drag of those tips. Really, it was quite amazing he hadn't drawn any blood. They were so sharp but yet he had run them up and down her body, never piercing her skin. It had felt amazing. Still trying to shake off the lingering effects of her dream she pulled off her sweat soaked nightgown and got into the hottest shower she could bear.
In less than a half hour she had coffee in hand, contemplating the long day stretching out before her. Church was at 10:00 and then Jason was coming over for dinner at 6:00. He had called earlier in the week and hinted around until she invited him over for a meal. She didn't need to be a telepath to know he wanted a home cooked meal. It was good to know that some things would never change.
Sookie was glad to have already picked up all the fixings for Gran's fried chicken and her sweet potato casserole. She figured they could probably both use some good old fashioned comfort food. In short order the chicken was prepped and soaking in buttermilk and the sweet potatoes were starting to simmer on the stove top. Grabbing another cup of coffee she leaned against the counter watching the small bubbles starting to form in the deep pot. Her mind began to wander back to the dream she had last night.
Hello hot sex dream, it's been a while since you've visited. Can't say that I've missed you, she thought.
Sookie was convinced that having both Bill and Eric's blood in her was the reason for all those X-rated dreams she'd had. The first one happening right after Bill had healed her gunshot with his blood the day after having taken Eric's. She had worn a fabulous red negligee and proposed that they both be hers. Following up her words with actions; first taking them both to her neck to dine and then later to her bed. Well they had eventually made it to her bed. She had gotten mighty distracted while helping them remove their clothing. A ménage a trois, her? So totally the fault of the vampire blood she had ingested. There was no way she would have those thoughts on her own!
What she hadn't known was that the dream would only be the beginning; the proverbial tip of the iceberg if you will. And apparently her unconscious iceberg was pretty darn big.
Not all of the dreams involved the three of them together intimately; sometimes one of them would watch the other make love to her, in that case Bill was often the voyeur, watching with varying levels of interest at what she and Eric were doing. In one of the earlier dreams they had taken turns having sex with her, each waiting patiently and not so patiently for it to be their turn. However mostly it had been just her and Eric or just her and Bill. Sometimes they simply talked, held hands or kissed, but usually the dreams involved sex, lots of hot steamy sex. At the top of the Ferris wheel at the fourth of July Bon Temps carnival, in a field of flowers in broad daylight, on the hood of her car, at the beach (both in the sand and in the water), on the bar at Fangtasia to the top of that beautiful round table in Bill's entryway; they had made love to her all over. No surface whether horizontal or vertical had been safe.
In one dream, Bill had taken her in the frozen foods section at the local Piggy Wiggly. The cold freezer door pressed up against her skin had made Bill seem downright warm in comparison as he pressed into her from behind. She couldn't remember how many dreams had taken place down in the light tight cubby in her house; Eric would call to her from its depths or lead her down there with a smirk on his face. Once Sookie had been blindfolded as she sat on Eric's tacky throne at Fangtasia; cool hands began to slide up her thighs, pulling her to the edge of the seat before pushing her knees apart. Even without the use of her vision she knew that it was Eric kneeling between her legs, flipping up her skirt. Somehow she could tell before feeling the soft touch of his lips and tongue. Likewise she recognized Bill's hands as they descended into her top making short work of the small row of buttons he found there. His hands remained busy with what he had uncovered as she tilted her chin up to receive his surprisingly chaste kiss against her lips. The kiss had been memorable as it was at such odds with the erotic feel of four hands caressing her intimately. It was then in the dream that Sookie realized she wasn't wearing anything but her dress; and with one quick rip she wasn't wearing anything at all.
The only consistent thing about the dreams was the small pool of three potential participants. The locations would change along with what they were wearing (or not wearing), time of day and what they were doing. Sometimes the dreams made her laugh; the things they would do and say would be so out of character in comparison to the vampires she knew. They would flirt with her, bring her flowers, bake her favorite chocolate cake (and then feed it to her), mow her lawn or join her on the couch to watch TV. Some of the places were very public and full of people, but more likely it was some place quiet where they were alone. Sometimes they had to wrestle to remove clothing like in real life, but other times their clothing just disappeared at the mere thought of being naked.
She never knew quite what to expect when she closed her eyes to sleep. After a while she had even found herself slightly jealous over the easy, flirty conversations her dream self had with the vampires. For the most part, Sookie had been glad when the dreams finally stopped. There had just been so many of them. They had done things that still made her blush.
The dreams had lasted for a good long while before they became less and less frequent, and then they stopped all together. Sookie figured their blood must have finally worn off. She hadn't thought about the dreams in a while, she had just been so glad when they finally did stop. Thinking back she realized that Bill had been first to disappear from her dreams, Eric had continued to make appearances for longer. Apparently Eric even in dream form was just as determined in his pursuit of her as in real life.
She wondered, and not for the first time, what would have happened between the two of them if he hadn't lost his memories. Would she have finally succumbed to his charms? Would he have still wanted her once he had her, once she was no longer the forbidden fruit? It was really downright stupid to think about; Eric had lost his memories and it had changed everything. The only thing more stupid to contemplate was how her life would have been different if Bill hadn't been sent by his queen, if he had just loved her like she loved him. She had sworn to herself she wouldn't think about those things when she told both of them goodbye all those months ago, that was partly why she had done it. Her life was forever changed because of the two of them; she was forever changed.
And yet she still thought about them. No matter how much she told herself not to, they kept sneaking into her brain. Now she was even back to dreaming about him, too. Last night's dream had been the first in quite a while; at least over a month. Was that why it had left her so unsettled? It had been so vivid and real. Hours later it was still causing her so much pause. Was this a blood dream, would there be more? Or was this because she had just seen him?
This dream had been different. After thinking through what she could remember she realized it to be more of a memory than a blood induced dream. The location had been clear. They had been at the Meridian, just the two of them. She had never dreamed of that hotel before; the vampire hotel in Dallas yes, but not the Merdian. Over an hour later she was still shaking off the feeling of his hands and mouth because she was remembering them; that had not happened with the blood dreams. Sure she had woken up hot and bothered on more than one occasion before, but the feelings had always quickly faded once she was awake. Not like this morning; this dream had felt so real that she had double checked the corners of her bedroom expecting to see him. It had her looking for fang marks on her neck. This had not been a made up dream fantasy, it had happened the other night. That was why it had felt so real.
The sharp ring of her cell phone jolted her upright. The sound cut harshly through her quiet kitchen. Walking over to the table she glanced at the display. Sookie frowned. Alcide Herveaux. Thank goodness for caller id. Did she want to talk to him? She reached out, her fingers hovering over the phone for two long rings before she pulled back empty handed. No, she did not. If it was important, he would leave a message. She walked back to the stove and grabbed a fork. As the tines easily slid into a chunk of potato her phone chimed again. So he had left a voice mail. She would listen to it later; or maybe not. Quite frankly, she didn't know what to do with Alcide.
"Men!" she exclaimed as she turned the heat off. She quickly drained the sweet potatoes filling the kitchen with a billow of steaming hot air, managing to keep just a little bit in the pot in case she needed it later for mashing. She left the bright orange chunks dripping in Gran's big metal colander and topped off her coffee before escaping the heat of the kitchen. The cool air outside felt wonderful and she found herself rocking on the porch glider.
What could Alcide want to talk to her about now? Sookie still had no idea what to expect from him. Maybe now he wanted to talk about Debbie. They certainly hadn't talked about her the last time he was here.
Now was he going to unleash his anger on her or want to know more of what happened? She had no clue. Bottom line, she had killed his ex-girlfriend. While she had never understood their twisted relationship, at some point they had had been something special to each other. Alcide had all but told Sookie that he had broken up with Debbie, but she still expected him to be angry at her. She had killed someone that he had loved once. No matter what had happened between the two of them Sookie was sure he didn't want her to die.
Everyone believed that she had killed Debbie Pelt in self-defense; even Andy Bellefleur had grudgingly agreed. Thank goodness, with everything else going on the last thing Sookie needed was a police investigation. Debbie had come there to kill Sookie. She had tried before and if she had gotten away she would have tried again until she was successful. As it was she had killed Tara. In that moment when she had grabbed the shotgun, Sookie knew that it was either going to be her or Debbie, someone was going to die that night. Sookie was glad she had lived.
That wasn't really the problem, or what she felt so awful about. The truth of the matter that Sookie really didn't like to think about or admit was that deep down she had wanted Debbie Pelt to die. And this was the second death on her hands! When Rene had come after her she hadn't thought at all, she just acted. This time around with Debbie however had been different. Sookie had been on top of the shewolf and had managed to get control of the situation. She could have called the police or something (anything!). But in that instant, the second before Debbie again grabbed at the weapon, Sookie realized she wanted Debbie to die. And then Debbie had grabbed the gun hard and with Sookie's finger already tight on the trigger it had fired. It was all over in a split second. Sookie didn't like it, but she had done it. Would she do it again? Yes, without a doubt. So what kind of person did that make her?
At first she had argued with Lafayette and then with Bill and Eric when they arrived that she couldn't claim self defense, that she had wanted Debbie dead so wasn't it more like premeditated murder? They had managed to convince her otherwise. Looking back she appreciated their intervention; they had been right. She may have wanted Debbie to die, but the reason why the bitch was actually dead was because of Debbie's own actions. Debbie had broken into Sookie's house. Debbie had come armed with a gun. Debbie had killed Tara and then turned set the gun sight on Sookie. She would not have killed her under other circumstances. Debbie had brought it on herself. Sookie may still worry about her lack of morals or what Gran would think of her now, but she wouldn't apologize for what Debbie had forced her to do.
So why is Alcide calling now? She thought back to the last time she had seen him. It had been about two months ago. He had stopped by unannounced, figuring she would tell him not to come if he called ahead. He had figured right.
Sookie remembered his visit clearly. She had been totally caught off guard when Alcide came strolling into her kitchen. She had no idea what to say or do. She had answered the back door without thinking stunned to see Alcide. Before she knew it she was stepping back, letting him inside. Sookie still didn't know what Alcide had said past his initial greeting as he walked in. He had restlessly paced her small kitchen. She could tell he was contemplating something, but as usual her telepathy couldn't decipher his were thoughts.
Much to her dismay, he kept stopping on the very spot where she had wrestled and ultimately shot Debbie. She could still picture his stiff movements as he walked back and forth, always managing to stand on that same spot. Alcide was such a big man, he just dwarfed her kitchen. He was talking and gesturing, but she never really heard any of it. She had been too busy reliving those awful last moments of Debbie's life in slow motion. Debbie had been so full of hate and then in an instant there had been so much blood. It had gone everywhere. Sookie had spent hours scrubbing to clean the ugly mess. Her eyes searched the floor, the cabinets and walls. Had she missed anything? Was there any speck of Alcide's former flame remaining?
Alcide must have finally realized that she wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying as he suddenly appeared right in front of her. She recalled the sheer relief she had felt that he had finally moved off of that damn spot. He gripped her shoulder with one hand and firmly brought her chin up with the other forcing her gaze away from the floor.
He murmured her name and briefly met her eyes before leaning down to brush a kiss across her lips. She had been so surprised all she could do was stare at him when he pulled back. Sookie had drawn in a breath to speak and he took advantage of her parted lips to lean in again and kiss her deeply. He may have moved quickly to capture her mouth, but his kiss was soft and deliberate. She had been so astonished that all she could do was stand there. She remembered thinking; maybe this was good, maybe this was what she needed. She made herself stop thinking and simply let herself enjoy the moment.
She began to kiss him back and he growled in approval; the sound rumbled through her entire body. His arms moved to hold her in a loose embrace as he slowly began to move his tongue against hers. It had been so… so very different. She had never kissed a man with a beard before. His moustache tickled and pricked her skin at the same time. His lips had been so warm and almost rough as they met hers; a totally different texture than what she was used to. Sookie slid her arms around him stepping closer. She was totally surrounded by his heat. It had felt good, at least in the beginning.
She had never had this much of her body touching his before, not to mention his tongue in her mouth. His snarly thoughts began to slowly coalesce into something that was readable to Sookie. He wanted her; that sentiment was clear. He ran one of his large hands up her back pulling her even closer, as he tipped her back changing the angle of the kiss. Alcide pulled back, his dark eyes staring into her lighter brown ones as they both took in some much needed oxygen. Sookie tried to figure out what she was doing. Did she really want this? Before she knew it he was licking his way back into her mouth and suddenly his thoughts became much clearer to Sookie. It was as if someone had hit play on a DVD player. He was picturing her lying naked in the woods. Sookie flinched in surprise but before she could pull away his mental picture shifted and Eric was on top of her and she…he… they were making love. It was all so clear; she could practically hear the night sounds of the woods and the slick sounds of their bodies moving together.
It was just how she remembered it actually happening, only from a vastly different vantage point.
Oh my god, somehow he must have seen them that night in the woods. It was the only explanation. How else would he be able to picture this? She had no idea he had been there. He had certainly never said a word. Sookie was horrified. That was a private moment. He had no right to have these memories, to know what this looked like. Only she and Eric did. The picture in Alcide's mind flickered slightly and Eric's pale body disappeared to be replaced by Alcide's darker, ruddier form. The Sookie in his mind didn't pause, didn't seem to notice any difference. Her arms continued to stroke his back, her leg hooked around his as if nothing was different and Alcide's body continued to move over top of hers without pause.
It was just too much, she wasn't ready for this. No - she didn't want this. She pulled her thoughts back together and realized that Alcide was still kissing her even though she had stopped responding. His embrace was uncomfortably warm; she braced her hands on his chest and pulled her head back.
"Stop Alcide. Stop," she panted, pushing against his chest.
He leaned back and looked down at her in stunned confusion, his arms still folded around her. It wasn't enough space, she needed more. Sookie was desperate to put some space between them. She needed to stop his heavily edited mental peep show from playing in her head. It was like her teen years all over again with hormonal boys and her developing chest. She pushed back again. "No." She took a step back and then another.
A blush creeped up his cheeks as he backed away. "Sorry, I…ahh… I got a little carried away." He glanced to the side, unable to meet her eyes.
"Yes," the word came out a little harsher than she intended. She took a deep breath, "I think we both did. But you need to know. I'm… I'm not ready for this, or for anything. I don't want…"
She took another step back and bumped into the fridge, she had crossed the whole length of her kitchen without knowing it. She brought the back of her hand up to her mouth.
"I think you should go now."
He didn't argue. He made her promise to call him if she needed anything and then he was gone. She did hear him mutter something under his breath about "damn vampers" before the screen door slammed shut behind him.
Sookie remembered herself likewise swearing at the "damn Peeping Tom werewolf" as she promptly locked the door behind him. She could vividly recall how unsettled she had felt after he had left. What she had seen in his head was disconcerting on so many levels.
Reliving his past visit thoroughly had her creeped out again.
She still couldn't believe that Alcide had watched them in the woods. Did he really think he could slide right into her life? That he could just replace her lover? It was downright disturbing to see how he had removed Eric from between her arms and legs and simply slid himself in…literally! She felt herself getting mad all over again. Once again a shiver slid down her back, although this time is wasn't a pleasant feeling. She shrugged her shoulders, trying to shake away the lingering uneasy feeling. Ugh.
What had he said to her all those months ago when he had stopped by Merlotte's? Something about how they might be better off if instead of following their hearts, they followed their brains when looking for love. Sookie hadn't understood it then anymore than she did now. How in the world do you love without your heart? Could you really be in love if you didn't follow, didn't involve your heart? Sookie didn't think so. She didn't want that. Not that she was one to talk. Following her heart had led to her own tears, but Sookie didn't think she could really love anyone, truly love a man without having her heart involved. There had to be someone out there that her heart and brain would lead her too.
Sookie gagged on her next sip of coffee. It was stone cold and nothing was worse than cold coffee. Just how long had she been out here? A quick glance at her watch had her groaning. When had it gotten so late? She had lost time again mooning over life, dreams and men. She needed to get a move on otherwise she was going to be late for church. She tossed the unwanted coffee into the front bushes, something Gran had often done in the same situation. She couldn't help but smile at the memory. She would go visit Gran's grave after church. It had been a couple weeks since she had been there last. Her day was shaping up nicely; it would be good to visit with God, Gran and Jason. Now if she hurried maybe she would even get there in time to sit in Gran's favorite pew.
A/N: So is everyone watching the new season? This chapter was basically done except for the editing before the season started so I had to chuckle over Sookie's similiar reaction to killing Debbie on the show. I've also got some future bits and pieces done. I'm still shaking my head over SO many things...
Why AB? Why?
Won't you please let me know what you are thinking! Thanks for reading and your review!
