Chapter 2: I'll follow you into the dark
I do not own the characters in AHS but I do own Carolyn, Jason, Yvonne and Jack Lockwood.
Chapter title is the name of the song used in this chapter by Death Cab for Cutie. I don't own that either.
"Tate, where is he?" I questioned as I got home, to find Tate, his face stained with tears. I knew something was wrong, I couldn't find Jason anywhere in the house and this made it worse.
"Carol, you need to calm down." Tate said as he tried to sit me down on the couch. I was really scared, my anxiety level was getting higher by the second. I felt as if I was being choked by someone even though it was just me and Tate in the living room.
"What do you mean calm down? Tate where's Jason?" What ever Tate was doing it wasn't funny.
"I need to tell you something and I know it's not going to be easy for you, hell, it wasn't easy for me." Tate said as he began to cry a bit more.
"Tate, what happened? Tell me!" I screamed. I needed to know where Jason was.
"Jason's dead."
"No, no you're lying. Jason can't be dead." I stood up and ran all over the house. I felt hot tears falling from my face.
"Jason! Jason come on! This isn't funny! Come out from you're hiding spot." By this point my face was covered by my tears. I ran into our room and opened the closet, looked under the bed I looked everywhere but no Jason.
"Jay! Stop it! You can't be dead!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I fell on the ground and began to cry harder. I felt Tate's arms around me but I felt numb. Like something was ripped out of me.
"Jason can't be dead, he had dreams. H-he wanted to see the world. He was so innocent. Tate he CAN'T be dead." He can't." I buried my face into the ground and cried as hard as I could. It wasn't fair, I was supposed to look after him, how could I have let this happen?
"Tate," I said through my tears. "What happened?"
"Your dad got home really drunk and Jason was in the living room reading. He just got so angry, I don't know what got into him, the next thing I knew Jason was on the floor, knocked out. There was blood and bruises everyone on him." As Tate told me what had happened I got angry. But then it hit me, the body.
"Tate, where's Jason's body?" I asked as I sat up, tears still falling on my face. I wanted to see Jason even if he was dead. It would be the last glimpse I would have of him. Tate rubbed his eyes, sniffled a bit and he continued:
"Your dad, he took him somewhere. He hasn't come back." Tate said as more tears fell.
At that moment, I heard the door open, from downstairs.
"Tate hide." I told Tate as soon as I heard the noise.
"Carol, I'm not leaving you alone with that murderer!" Tate said as he moved closer to me.
"I need you to, please. I can't have Jack kill you too." Tate looked at me sternly, there was no way I was going to get him to hide. "Just until he passes out, then we'll see what happens." I didn't need anything happening to Tate. I wouldn't be able to cope.
"Alright but I'm staying in the house. No buts." He said, I stood up and went downstairs slowly. My legs felt like jello, I was scared of him, it was intense. I was more than just scared, I was angry. I wanted to kill him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. There he was just lying on the sofa with an empty bottle.
"Hey, there you are, go get me another one of these." Jack reeked of alcohol, when didn't he. I just stood there, gaining the courage to tell him off. I wasn't going to do what he asked not this time, not ever.
"What if I don't? Will you hurt me like you did with Jason?" I asked as more tears formed but I wiped them off.
"What the hell are you talking about? Just get me a damn drink." He said. He was getting mad and that's what I wanted.
"No, I'm not going to get you a drink. Is that why you beat Jason today? He wasn't good enough for you or something? Or were you just coping with the fact that you're a heartless asshole who can't get a damn job!" I screamed at him. I was tired of him treating us like this, he couldn't just get away with it.
"Why are you raising your voice at me huh? Hasn't your mother taught you any respect? " He stood up and got closer to me, I was ready for whatever card he had to throw at me. "I'll get my drink myself." He walked past me, I turned and said:
"Hey! I'm not done talking to you."
"What else do you have to say? Some other stupid remark, now where's that other kid Johnny or whatever? He's in for another one because of you." He said as he reached in the fridge.
"You don't remember, you killed him! You beat him too damn hard, what are you gonna use as a punching bag now? It's like you don't even know who we are anymore. He was your son and you abused him. What does that say about you? You're a coward, a heartless bastard. You're worthless. Look at yourself you drink day after day trying to make the pain go away but all it does is make it worse. You never had the guts to confront any of this! Do you even remember who I am? I'm your daughter, you used to care for me, you loved me! Ever since you started drinking you forgot all of that! I hope your fucking happy. You destroyed everything, your wife, your son, me, your entire life is ruined all because of a damn drink." I spat at him and left him there, his mouth shut tight. Not a word was said. As I walked back upstairs I heard him leave the house. Good riddance
"Tate?" I said as got in the room. My eyes burned from crying, it seemed like the only thing I could do to make them feel better was cry some more. I stood there in the middle of the room my arms around my waist. I saw Tate in front of me.
"Come on." He said as he took one of my hands.
"Where are we going?" I asked. I didn't want to leave but something about the thought of leaving was intriguing.
"You can't stay in this house, it won't help you. Especially with what just happened." Tate opened the window and climb out, I did the same. We walked over to his house, I never had a good feeling about the house, it had a reputation and I just knew that it managed to give anyone who lived in the house one too, once they died at least.
We began walking up the stairs to Tate's room, the only place that felt okay.
"Carolyn!" I heard a shrill voice and knew that Constance was standing by the stairwell.
"Hi." I said as I turned, I saw Tate get a little annoyed by the old woman. I didn't like Constance but I didn't hate her with a burning passion like Tate. I was neutral but one thing was certain. I didn't trust her.
"What are you doing here, something wrong sweat pea?" She sounded condescending -like. I knew Constance liked me but she probably didn't trust me either.
"I just came over for a visit that's all." I said as I wiped my nose. Most days I was firmer with her, I stood on my ground but today, I could barely get up.
"Well if you need anything let me know." She left to the kitchen and we headed straight to Tate's room. Nothing was right, I felt so uncomfortable being anywhere that Jason was once. Just knowing that a care free Jason ran around here with a smile on his face and not a care in the world. It just wasn't right.
"Come here." Tate said as he sat on the bed, patting a spot next to him. I walked over slowly. The only thing that repeated in my head was 'Nothing's right'
"Why him Tate? Why did Jason have to die? It seems so cliche to say but if anyone deserved what Jason went through it was me. How did I let Jack beat on him everyday?" I cried harder through my words. It just wasn't fair.
"No one deserved what Jason went through, you especially didn't deserve it. You're kind and sweet, not too mention lovely." I blushed a bit but not even that could help me. "Right now you need to lie down, you need to sleep, okay?" Tate lied down and I lied next him. My face and hands on his chest.
"You'll be here when I wake up right?" I looked up at Tate as he nodded. "Promise?" I said as I held up my pinky. Tate shed a tear as he grabbed my pinky with his. I laid my head next to his chest and fell asleep.
I woke up and saw Tate next to me, he looked down at me and wrapped his arms around me. A tight hug, I needed Tate right now and no one is going to take me away from him.
"Are you going to school?" He asked, I honestly didn't feel like doing anything, my head was pounding, there was no way I was going to be able to focus.
"No, I'm just gonna go home." I got up and just as I was about to stand, he held me back.
"Carol, you need to tell me you won't do anything stupid while you're over there alone, okay?" He looked at me and the look he gave off just told me to stay away from anything that could harm me or else.
"I won't , I promise." I grabbed his pinky and left. All I wanted was to sleep, just sleep. Not die or anything but I was wanted that peaceful state, because maybe I'd see Jason in my dreams it was a long shot but maybe I might see him. That's all I want
I stayed home all day only getting up to drink water and the occasional trip to the bathroom. It was around 8:30pm when I decided to see Tate. Jack wasn't home, nothing of his was at the house anymore. Only mom remains at home but one way or another she'll snap now.
I knocked on the front door of Tate's house, I found a tear stained face and to my surprise it was Constance.
"Hi Mrs. Langdon, may I come in?" I asked, something else was wrong, Constance never cried in front of anyone. I could tell that meant seeing her weak side. In that way I was similar to Constance but I would never want any other one of her characteristics.
"He's not here dear, he's not coming back." She said with a weak voice.
"What do you mean? Where did he go?" I was getting worried. Tate not coming back? He had to come back. Where else would he go?
"He left this for you." Constance handed me a letter and continued: "Darling, didn't you hear the sirens?"
"What sirens? I was sleeping all day, what happened?" I swear if Tate left me alone, I'm going to flip.
"Carolyn, he's dead." Her words hit me like swords piercing every part of me. She's lying, he can't be dead.
"You're lying, Tate's not dead. He just can't be, he was here this morning he was leaving for school!" I shouted.
"Carolyn you have to c-."
"NO! I won't calm down, my best friend is dead and you're telling me to calm down?" I was shaking, this wasn't happening. First Jason and now Tate! I ran back home with tears running down my face once again. I got inside and broke down, stood in the kitchen with tears pouring from my eyes. How could he leave me like this? Why was he being so selfish? I remembered the letter Constance gave me. What did this coward have to tell me?
Carolyn,
If you're reading this then you know about what has happened. I didn't want any of this but you and Jason were the last string I had. When I saw Jason dead it was one string that was cut off. I didn't want anymore of this, I know it seems as if I left you, I did it as cowardly as your father did. I didn't want to hurt you, I need you to know that. So to protect you this has happened. Promise me you won' t do anything stupid. You deserve a good life, filled with happiness, not pain.
- Tate
Protect me? From what? I needed Tate and now he isn't here. I can't keep my promise anymore. The only people I had in my life are gone. I'm all alone. It's a sudden feeling to know you're alone, like quick sand. It's just something that hits you.
I walked to the counter there right before my eyes was my way out. A cold chef knife, I grabbed it but I didn't want to finish what I had started. It was too late my mind had pushed me over the edge repeating 'Nothing's fine' I had had enough of pain, enough of feeling alone. Life's a nightmare and it was time to end it. I slashed my arms vertically with no mercy. And just like that, it was finally over.
Thank you for reading! I need some help guys so reviews would be lovely. I hope you guys like how it's going I'm trying my best. More chapters to come (:
