All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. This is an amateur work of fanfiction and no infringement is intended.
Title: Lily Potter: Year One, A Chamber and House Secrets
Author: tainteddr34ms
Rating: Mature. Adult themes. Sexual Situations
Pairing: Lily/Ginny Femslash eventually.
Beta: Leigh
Author's note: This story probably qualifies as a girl!harry story but it's really about a very dark Lily Potter. Very much AU. Chapter titles are title's and lyrics from some of my favorite songs. Themes of child abuse. Sexual situations when the characters are old enough that I'm comfortable writing them.
Trigger warning for the first scene as it starts right after she's been sexually abused. Nothing graphic, just emotional.
Lily Potter: Year One, A Chamber and House Secrets
Chapter One
Close Your Mouth and Shut Your Face
I hurt too much from what Uncle Vernon did to me so I shuffle over to my cupboard under the stairs instead of going to clean myself up. Besides, if I go upstairs to the bathroom, Aunt Petunia might catch me and beat me for being the freak that I am. She calls me one every time the monster hurts me, over and over as she beats me with a belt. She must be right. I stopped fighting him months ago.
Today's my eleventh birthday. Has been for the last six hours.
As I crawl through the door to my cupboard, I have to swallow back down the bile threatening to come up. I lie down on my thin, sheetless mattress and pull the door closed. The tears I've been holding back finally come. I've decided. I want to die.
I'm going to do it too. Tonight, as my birthday ends at midnight. Eleven years of hell exactly and then I'm done. I'll use the butcher knife to slice my wrists. He'll never be able to touch me again. No man will.
As I stare up at the underside of the stairs, I try to feel nothing but I can't shut out the pain. It consumes me. Even the lightening bolt shaped scar on my forehead throbs. I start shaking. Can't stop, I have no control over it. As my eyes unfocus there's a small pop with a dim flash of light, and suddenly a small, jet black snake with a hard, boney crest running out the back of its head and its eyes closed, lays atop my chest. It looks enough like…
I take a deep breath, getting ready to scream. Sweat beads my brow. And then the snake speaks in a hissing tongue that I can somehow understand, "Relax, Younger, I am here to help."
"Help?" My lips quiver a bit as I ask in the same hissing speech. I have no idea how or why I know the right way to say it, but I do.
"You are eleven today, Lily." My name in the snake's language is scary sounding. I look closer at the snake, squinting tightly to see clearer because I left my glasses out there with the monster. And notice for the first time it's slightly translucent. "I am a projection," it says, answering me before I can ask. "My body waits for you, for you to command and for me to obey, Speaker. A foolish, but kind hearted and easily manipulated man, comes today to put you on a path that will lead you to me. You must tell him what your uncle does to you; otherwise he will bring you back here tonight."
"How-how do-do you know?" I hate that I stutter over my words. The idea of telling is terrifying, but if I never have to come back I'll be happy to tell. I just hope the snake is real rather than a sign of me going crazy and that it's right and the man is kind. It'd really suck to go from one monster to another.
"In the before life you commanded me to watch and wait and to come to you if you ever gave up. You did, so I am here. Follow the path laid out for you today and it will bring you to me. I will teach you of your family's heirlooms and you will use them to seek vengeance on the false master and your family."
I have no idea who it means by false master but it's the family part that catches my interest. "Can I make them hurt?"
"Most definitely, Mistress. All the pain they deserve." It's a little weird hearing it call me Mistress, but I like it. Means I'm in control.
My tears have dried, leaving behind a grim determination. If I'm crazy…? I shrug at the thought. Doesn't matter anymore. I ignore the salty sting around my eyes and wait. It's almost time to make breakfast anyway. Even if it is my birthday, I still have to make sure food is on the table when they come down the stairs. An empty table would be very painful.
-LNP-
I'm scared. The monster's packing up everything he can think of and stowing it in the car. I wonder briefly if they're going to tie me to the roof because there surely can't be any room left inside. Letters have been coming for me, letters he kept hidden till so many came this morning he couldn't hide them. I get it now. Snakey was right. The man's coming to find out why they never received my owl. It's the only thing that makes any sense.
Being a witch explains a lot. Like the time at school Dudley and his friend Piers tried to beat me up and when I tried to get away, I flew up to the roof of the nearest building and ran until I found a good place to hide. Stayed up there till they lost interest.
As Uncle Vernon moves up to the door, him and Dudley carrying the last trunk, I try to come up with a way to stall. Maybe I can hide somewhere? I'm saved from acting as a loud boom sounds against the door.
The monster turns white as milk as he drops the drunk and steps back. Suddenly, the front door blasts off its hinges, and falls on top of him, barely missing Dudley. Uncle Vernon goes crashing to the ground with a thud as a giant with a bushy, chest length, brown beard steps through the doorway. His hair is easily as long as his beard, just as brown, just as bushy. Too bad the floor is covered in tan carpet. The monster might of cracked his head open if it'd been tile his skull bounced against.
"Sorry 'bout that," the giant says, looking like he's about to move up and help Uncle Vernon with the door.
I waste no time as I step up to the man and wrap my arms about a third of the way around his waist, as far as I can reach. I look up at him and let out a few tears. They're real, not fake. Just useful, even if they make me feel a little guilty. "Uncle Vernon's been forcing me to have sex with him for the last six months."
The look of pure anger washing over his face terrifies me until I realize it's directed at the monster. He carefully pries me loose and steps up to Uncle Vernon, kicking him in the side so hard Uncle Vernon screams as the door flies off him. Foam drips from the monster's mouth as he starts to convulse. The giant says to all three of them, "If any of 'ya try'n come anywhere near this girl again, I'll kill 'ya mehself."
He turns back to me. "Din 'ya have anything ta change into?"
I nod my head. "In my room."
"Go get changed," he says. I'm still in my night shirt and it's nearly thread bear. I turn to the stairs and go to my cupboard. I slip inside and change into a pair of old, faded jeans and a blue t-shirt. Hand me downs from Dudley. Even though the clothes are a couple years old and we're the same age, the jeans are way too long and baggy and the shirt hangs on me like a tent. I fold the cuffs up till they're even with my ankles then grab a piece of rope to tie my pants in place. I slip on my socks and sneakers and then head out of the cupboard.
"Do you have a coat?" the giant asks. When I shake my head no, he steps up to the coat rack besides the door and grabs Aunt Petunia's warm but light, tan summer coat. He moves back over to me and wraps me up in it. Taking my hand, he pulls me out the door, saying, "That should keep 'ya warm. We have a change in plans. We're off ta see the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He'll know what ta do."
-LNP-
Throughout my story, the Headmaster kept offering me a lemon drop every time he grabbed one for himself, which was quite frequently. They're the first sugar I've ever had and they taste simply wonderful. I expected them to make me super hyper like I'd read about, but instead, each one keeps me calm enough to say what I have to say without breaking down and crying. They strike me as a little creepy till I realize they're magic lemon drops. I'm grateful for them.
"Thank you for the lemon drops, Headmaster," I say respectfully as he steps back from the fireplace where he'd just had a talk with a witch names Mrs. Weasley about me. Pretty nifty how the flames turned green and then Mrs. Weasley's faced formed in the them as they talked. "The calming effect was greatly appreciated." Doesn't hurt to be polite, even if I'm rather unimpressed with the great Albus Dumbledore. All these years, he's never once checked up on me and it turns out he's my guardian. What an idiot. I'm getting a new guardian as soon as I can. One who won't let me be hurt and treated like a slave because they're too busy to bother.
He steps back behind his desk and sits in a very large, comfortable looking chair. The twinkle one of his eyes held when I first walked in is long gone. He looks exhausted and old.
"Mrs. Weasley will be here shortly with a change of clothes. Something that'll fit you a lot better." He stares at me a moment after lowering his rectangle shaped, wire rimmed glasses down his nose. "I have given you little reason to trust me to keep you safe and for that, I am truly sorry."
He pauses and I don't know how to answer him. I can't tell him it's ok, 'cause it's not even close. And his apology means nothing to me. He failed. He can't fix that. But I can move forward.
"Hagrid saved my life, sir." I say. "I'd be dead by the end of the night if it wasn't for him." I ignore the worry suddenly clouding his eyes. "I'm just glad to be here. I'm free now. Thinking about anything else is just too confusing."
He nods as green flames dance in the fireplace. A short, plump woman with fiery orange hair hanging to just past her shoulders steps out from the flames. She hands me a package as she takes the other seat in front of the Headmaster's desk. I don't look because I know what's in there. Clothes.
"Molly, I need you to take over the guardianship of Miss Potter," Dumbledore says to her. I wonder if he's ever asked anyone for anything. At least he agrees with me I need a new guardian. "I failed her utterly and totally as her guardian. I believe a clean start would be best for her and that's where you come in. I would be in your debt."
"That won't be necessary, Albus," she says. "I'd be happy to take her."
"Good, good," he coos. "Lily," he looks at me. "The door behind me is my private bathroom. Why don't you go get cleaned up and changed while I have a talk with Mrs. Weasley?"
I nod and get up. "Thank you for the clothes," I say to Mrs. Weasley with a nod and then head for the door behind the Headmaster. I don't mind that he's getting rid of me for the moment. I have no desire to hear my story being told. I lived it. I want to forget it.
-LNP-
Chimney travel—floo, they call it—is rather nauseating. I stumble as I step out of the chimney—swallowing hard, fighting to keep my tummy down—and into a warm and inviting sitting room.
Instead of taking in the room, I step to the side of the chimney and stare at my red sneakers. Well worn but well cared for.
"Wait right here while I go fetch Ginny and Ron."
I hear her footsteps fade away but I never look up. After a few minutes, softer footsteps sound, moving quickly toward me. My eyes stay rooted. I flinch as I feel rough, hard, dirty fingers caress my forehead, pulling my long, dark copper bangs away from my face, revealing the lightning bolt scar about an inch above my left eye.
"Blimey, you got the scar. You're Lily Potter."
I shudder at his touch, fighting down a wave of nausea as my tummy lurches repeatedly. I desperately want to step away but my legs won't listen so I stay frozen to this spot.
"So, do you like kissing?" He asks out of nowhere. I hate fame. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have asked that if I wasn't as famous as Hagrid said I was. As the boy moves closer, he pushes slightly against my forehead, trying to tilt my head up. I think he's going to kiss me. I dig my fingernails into my palms to keep the tears welling in my eyes from falling. Why am I being this way? This isn't how I decided I was going to act. I'm not supposed to care. It's behind me.
"Ronald!" a girl's voice shrieks from across the room as he leans in closer. "Get away from her. Can't you see you're scaring the daylights out of her?"
His hand falls away from my head and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as he steps back a bit.
"But Ginny," he whines. "I want to hear what it was like to defeat the most powerful dark wizard of our era!"
"That's not what you asked!" I state firmly, finally looking up from my feet. My fear isn't gone, not by a long shot. But my anger at his deception drowns it out, clears my head. My fiery gaze meets his for a moment and he gulps, taking a step back. I hear much heavier footsteps approaching. "You touched me without asking and then you asked me if I liked to kiss. And then you tried to kiss me," I say, my voice kind of detached, lacking the bitterness I feel.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley!" Mrs. Weasley barks as she steps back into the room. "Apologize! Now!"
"I'm sorry," he mumbles, looking up at the ceiling, his face turning as red as a tomato.
"Now get yourself outside, Ronald, and de-gnome the garden while you think about the proper way to behave around a young lady." Mrs. Weasley's tone is harsh and reprimanding.
"But, mom…!" he whines.
"No 'but mom's' with me, young man. Now out!" she commands, cutting him off.
"How long?" He mutters the question as he heads for the hall entrance that undoubtedly leads to the front door. His feet stomp with each step, the rubber soles squeaking against the polished hardwood of the floors.
"Until we get back from taking Lily to get her school supplies and some clothes."
He turns around to face his mother, astonished, mouth opening and shutting like a fish in air. "I can't go?" He asks. He's a different shade of red now, seething.
"Not with the way you've just behaved. Now out!"
He turns around and runs off, yelling, "That's not fair!" behind him, just before the sound of a door slamming back against its frame resonates through the house.
I turn to her and say, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley."
"No worries, dear," she says. "Ron has to learn being brave and bold may have gotten him into Gryffindor, but it'll mean nothing if all it does is make him act a fool."
The girl comes fully into the room. Stopping a few feet in front of me, she waves and says, "Hi, I'm Ginny."
"Hi," I answer, giving her a shy smile. "I'm Lily." I take my first good look at her and instantly forget about my confrontation with her brother. I know I'm blushing bright red even though I can't see my face, just from the warmth spreading across my cheeks. She stands nearly a foot taller than me, with translucent white skin covered in freckles and her cherry red, straight hair hanging down her back, nearly halfway to her waist.
My heart beats like a hummingbird's wings, all fluttery and fast. I can't take my eyes off her face as my smile turns into a goofy grin. My tummy kind of feels like I'm falling, but in a nice, fuzzy way instead of an 'I'm about to die' way. This feeling is so confusing.
"I think I should apparate us to Diagon Alley," Mrs. Weasley says, taking my hand in one of hers and Ginny's in the other. She leads us outside. "You won't be using the Floo network again until you understand how it works a bit better. I don't want you getting lost."
-LNP-
Apparating just plain sucks, I think as I empty my tummy. Not that I've had anything to eat for the last two days to throw up, except candy, but I still manage to bring up an incredible amount of bile. Being sucked through a straw, or at least feeling like you just were, does that to you. Ginny rubs soothing circles on my back as Mrs. Weasley holds my waist length, copper hair out of the mess. Finally, I'm done purging. Mrs. Weasley lets go of my hair and they both step back a little, giving me some space as I straighten up. She waves her wand in front of my face for a moment, saying a few words I don't understand and suddenly the awful taste in my mouth is gone.
"I'm sorry," I say, flinching, expecting Mrs. Weasley to slap me for making a mess and embarrassing her. But she doesn't. Instead, she sends Ginny on ahead to the bookstore and drags me over to a nearby bench placed against a grayish brick wall. My eyes lock on my feet as we walk across the broken cobblestone of the street. We both sit down.
"Look at me," she says softly. I don't really want to. I'm still nauseous and the foul odor of a nearby pet shop with far too many animals by the smell of it, isn't helping my tummy at all. Plus, there are too many people around and I've got it figured out now, why she didn't hit me. This is where she tells me I'm too embarrassing to be seen with in public and she's either going to take me back to the school or make me stay in the house where no one else can see me.
"Did you think I was going to hit you back there?" she asks, taking my chin in her hand and tilting my head up so I have to look at her. I give her a quick nod. Suddenly her arms wrap around me and she gives me a tight hug. I squirm against her a moment till I realize what she's offering.
My arms wind around her sides and I cling to her tightly. I start sobbing. I can't help it, even though I don't want to. One of her hands moves to my back and she rubs calming circles while I let it all out. I finally get that she doesn't believe any of the things I've been told about me. She's wrong though. I deserve to be beaten. I stopped fighting him. I tell her so between sobs. And I let her know that I won't blame her for taking me back to the school or making me stay inside the house, out of sight.
"Oh, hun," she says, the 'u' coming out with more of a long 'a' sound. "He wore you down till you couldn't fight anymore. That doesn't make you bad, it makes him a monster." I nod into her shoulder, not really convinced. "I know it'll take time for me to completely convince you of that, but I promise I'll never intentionally hurt you, I won't make you stay in the house to hide you from sight and I won't make you leave."
I want to believe her so I decide to take a chance and give her the benefit of the doubt. I'll trust her when she proves she means what she said but for now I won't mistrust her until she earns it.
Continued
Please review. No reviews for the prologue was depressing and contributed to the delay in this chapter being posted. Even if you hate it, please let me know.
