He travels just as he always did, only this time he finds no joy in discovering new alien species or making new friends with them. His joy is gone because she is not there with him. She is back on Earth, her body waiting in some morgue for the funeral. The funeral he promised Jackie he'd attended.
Oh, it's a bad idea. It's a very bad idea. There is no way he will be able to keep himself composed.
Oh, but she's worth it. She is so worth the tears.
He promised Jackie, and he never wants to piss her off. Especially over something as huge as this.
He hopes the call won't come. He hopes she will realize how hard this will be for him.
His hopes are shattered when he hears Rose's mobile ringing in his trouser pocket. He takes it and he sees the one word he didn't want to see "Mum."
He hesitantly presses the call button and brings the phone to his ear. "Hello?" He isn't surprised at how meek his voice sounds.
"Doctor," Jackie says. "It's time. We will see you in a bit."
"Yeah," he replies, quickly hanging up the phone.
The thought of seeing his beloved Rose in a coffin sends chills down his spine. Watching her get buried means he's going to have to come to terms with the fact that she's dead, and she's never coming back.
He takes his sweet time flying over to the Powell Estate. When the TARDIS finally lands in that familiar alleyway, he can't bring himself to open the doors. His hands are trembling, and already he can feel his lower lip quivering.
"God, I can't do this!" He screams, slamming his head into the TARDIS wall, which results in an annoyed hum from. "Sorry, girl." He lifts his head, taking numerous deep breaths.
Doctor, she says gently, I know it hurts. But you have to do this. Rose has done so much for the both of us. After the Time War, neither one of us were very happy. When she joined, we changed.
"I know," he replies. "I know." He shakes his head, leaving the console room momentarily to change into more proper attire.
He studies himself in the mirror, noting how he hadn't been taking much care of himself since she died. He grabs a handful of wax and fixes up his hair. He looks at his clothing: a black suit and tie.
He sighs, opening the doors and meeting the sunlight outside. He was expecting gloomy skies and rain. After all, the universe had just lost the most wonderful person in the world.
There is one car parked outside the Powell Estate. The Doctor recognized it at once as Mickey's.
He swiftly knocks on the door, contemplating on whether or not he should just leave now and never come back.
Before he can come to a decision, the door opens, and Mickey is standing there.
"Doctor," he says.
"Mickey," the Doctor replies, stepping inside the apartment. "Where's Jackie?"
"She's in the bedroom. Getting ready." He plops down on the sofa. The Doctor does the same. He glances over at Mickey, knowing this whole thing is tearing him apart as well. He opens his mouth to say something, but Mickey beats him to it. "It's okay."
The Doctor lifted an eyebrow at him.
"I know what you were going to say. You were going to apologize. Don't. Rose wouldn't be sorry. She died doing what she loved. Traveling with you."
Can I just say? Traveling with you? I love it.
Me too.
The Doctor turns his head away from Mickey, staring at the blank television screen. His attention is returned when he hears footsteps coming toward them.
Please, he begs, please, be Rose.
But it's not Rose; it's Jackie, adorned in all black, which only tells the Doctor none of this is a dream.
"We're meeting others at the funeral home," she announces.
"Who else is there?" The Doctor can't help but ask.
"She's got some mates. Some friends of mine who knew her. Well, come on, you two."
The Doctor and Mickey rise from the sofa and follow Jackie outside.
They all pile in Mickey's car, and they're off to the funeral home.
Once they reach the funeral home, the Doctor sees a few more cars parked outside.
He steps out of Mickey's car and stares up at the building. His Rose is in there, lying lifeless in some box. His legs begin to feel weak, and he has to grab Mickey's shoulder to keep upright.
"Sorry," he says when Mickey looks over at him.
"Don't be," he replies.
Jackie sighs, and the three of them go into the building. Close family and friends sit in the front pew near—too near, the Doctor thought—to the open casket.
He closes his eyes as he sits down next to Jackie.
"I can't…" he whispers.
Jackie's hand finds his in an instant, and he clutches to her.
"Today," the man at the front of the room says, "we are here to celebrate the life of Rose Marion Tyler. I believe her family has some things to say about her. Why don't we start with her mother, Jacqueline Suzette Tyler?"
Jackie nods and—to the Doctor's disappointment because he really needs a hand to hold onto—lets go of his hand as she makes her way to the podium.
She stares at into the crowd, and the Doctor can see the trembling of her hands.
"What can I say about my daughter, Rose?" Jackie starts. "Ever since the death of my husband, Pete Tyler, Rose was all I had left. Sure, she was a stubborn thing, but I loved her to pieces. Her stubbornness was actually one of her greatest traits. She tried her best at everything she did, even though school's another subject," she laughed tearfully. "She always tried to keep a positive attitude, and she always knew how to put a smile on my face. Yeah, we did fight a lot, but we always got through it. I wish she were here because it really wasn't her time. There was so much more she could've done. And she…" Jackie stops, tears gathering in her eyes again. She chokes up, wiping her tears with her sleeve. "Rose Marion Tyler is the greatest daughter a mother could ever ask for, and I love so very much. But, she's with her father now, and both of them will be very happy together." Jackie hurries off the podium to sit back at the pew. The Doctor puts a hand on her shoulder.
The next to go up is Mickey, who seems so strangely calm up there. The Doctor assumes he's keep it all bottled in, like he wants to do.
"Rose has been my best friend for years. We even had a bit of a relationship." He glances over at the Doctor who tugs at his ear nervously. "But, I couldn't give her what she wanted or needed. We had something, but that was a long time ago. We didn't always get along, but Rose meant the world to me. And I'm really torn up about this. Because, as Jackie said, it wasn't her time." Mickey looks down at the podium and walks back to his seat.
The Doctor shifts uncomfortably. "I don't want to," he tells Jackie. "Not now."
Jackie nods, letting Shireen, Rose's best friend, go up.
"I've been best friends with Rose for the longest time," she says. "We always joked around with each other, and we loved going down to the shops to check out boys. She was always there for me when I needed her, and I was always there for her. Now, she's gone. And it hurts. It's not fair, but I guess that's life. It's not fair." She grimaced, her eyes welling up. "I'm sorry."
She drops down, hugging Jackie before going to her seat.
The Doctor gulps; he knows he has to go up now and say a few words, but his palms are sweating, and he doesn't want to break down.
"Doctor?" Jackie whispers. "Please."
It's that one word that makes him rise to his feet and take his place behind the podium, his eyes betraying him by glancing at the body in the casket.
"Hello," he says. "Um… you may know me. I'm the Doctor. I travel time and space, and I took Rose as a companion. She traveled with me… And it was on one of our travels when she died. So, I blame myself. I will always blame myself." He sighs heavily. "Let me talk about Rose. When I met her, I was so bitter… about everything. And she changed me. She made me so trusting and so happy. And I don't know what to do now that's she gone." He grips the podium tightly with his hands, his knuckles turning white. His tears drip from his eyes, splashing onto the wood. Jackie gets up from her seat and puts hers hands on his shoulders.
"Come on, love," she says, trying to get him to come back with her.
"No," he says, pushing her away slightly. "No. I'm not done." He looks back at the guests. "Rose Tyler is amazing. And I care so very deeply about her. I… I love her. I love her so much." He smiles through his tears. "And it's not fair. It's not damn fair! But, I know, if I keep her in my hearts, yes hearts, she'll live on. It won't be the same…" He gulps thickly, looking over at Jackie. "I'm done now."
They then proceed to show a slideshow of Rose from her birth to the last time she and the Doctor visited Jackie. The last photo of the slide is the two of them, holding hands and smiling hugely. There is no denying the love that is packed into his grin. He knows that kind of grin will never appear on his face again.
"Aren't we going to Mickey's car?" The Doctor asks when it's time to finally bury Rose.
"No," Jackie replies. "We're riding in the hearse. She would've wanted us in there with her."
The Doctor gets into the limousine next to Mickey. He doesn't want to think that the casket in the back contains her. But, he has seen it. He has seen her lifeless body lying in that wretched thing.
Before Rose is buried into the ground, each of the funeral goers grabs a handful of dirt and throws it onto the casket.
"I love you, Rose," Jackie cries, tossing the dirt.
"I'm going to miss you so much," Mickey says, doing the same.
The Doctor hesitates, keeping the dirt in his hand by holding it with his fist. He sighs. "My darling Rose," he whispers. "I love you… I never thought I would fall in love with a human, especially not in that form. I will always love you." He drops the dirt over the casket and returns to his seat.
They watch as the casket is being lowered into the ground.
The Doctor wants to rush out and stop them. Tell them that she's not dead. They can't bury her!
He starts to tremble, and he buries his face in his hands, his sobs outmatching everyone else's.
Jackie puts her arm around him, crying with him.
The funeral is over, and everyone leaves to a restaurant to talk about Rose and what she means to them.
Everyone except for the Doctor.
He tells Jackie that she and Mickey should go on without him. He can't stick around anymore. She hugs him tightly, thanking him for attending. He says maybe one day he'll come back to see her and Mickey. And Rose.
He glances down at the memorial.
"Here lies Rose Marion Tyler: daughter and friend to all."
He keeps his hands firmly in his pockets and kneels down.
"We've been through so much, haven't we?" He asks. "I wish I had told how I felt ages ago. My lips ache for yours. My body aches for your touch. My heart aches for you." He takes a hand out of his pocket, gently stroking the memorial before getting back to his feet. "Goodbye, my Rose. Hope you and Pete are having fun up there. I will never forget you. I love you."
He walks from the cemetery, just thinking of everything he's lost and everything he's been through. It's not fair, he keeps telling himself. It's just not fair. She didn't deserve this. She deserves to be with him, in the TARDIS, just as it should be.
When he reaches the Powell Estate, he glances upwards at it. He smiles bitterly as he opens the TARDIS doors. He is immediately greeted by her sympathetic humming.
Are you okay? She asks.
Not really, but I've got to keep moving.
I've done something for you. Look at that door.
The Doctor looks over at the door. There's a picture of a rose engraved on it. He steps forward, his hand reaching for the doorknob. He opens it and sees a room filled with all of Rose's possessions, roses, and photos of her. Not to mention there are screens which allow him to relive all his moments with her. He smiles gratefully.
Thank you, old girl. It means so much. It's soon right now though.
I understand, Doctor.
He leaves the room, knowing one day he will go back to it when he is feeling particularly lonely. When the only thing that can ease his pain will be her voice, her face. His Rose.
