This Is A Pen 2.0 Chapter 2

"Well," the camp director told Percy, explaining pinochle to him, "It is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules."

This pissed Percy off, very much so. So much, in fact, that he had to rant. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Percy exclaimed. "What the hell is wrong with you? Freaking PAC-MAN? One of the greatest games ever invented by humans? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!"

The director's eyes started to glow. Grover was shaking his head at Percy so it looked like he was having a spasm, and Chiron said, "Now, Percy –"

But Percy was on a roll. "How the hell is Pac-Man a great game? All that freaking happens is a goddamn yellow blob chases four idiotic ghosts around a damn square, eating up all of the little coins and the fruit! There is no plot point there! There is no fun in it!"

The director's eyes were glowing so brightly that you could see the brightness from behind his sunglasses.

"I mean, really! Video game nerds flocked to play that game at arcades for years! Pac-Man freaking gave birth to nerds! It created an entire damn generation of bankrupt people with a serious malnutrition problem! And those freaking game machines were so idiotic! Most of the times they just eat your freaking quarter, and even when they don't you need to pay another one to keep playing! Freaking Pac-Man? It was HORRIBLE! There wasn't any blood, any guts, any shootings, any violence, any cleavage – hell, there weren't even any freaking women!"

Chiron was squirming in the presence of the glowing camp director. "Actually, Percy-"

"I WAS GETTING TO THAT PART, HORSIE!" Percy exclaimed. "Now don't – even – get – me –STARTED – on Ms. Pac-Man! Hell, it was just regular Pac-Man with a mole experimenting with lipstick! It was just a phase! And do you have any idea how many nerds worshipped Ms. Pac-Man? Millions! Zeus almighty, how the freaking hell can you think that freaking Pac-Man is one of the greatest games humans ever made?"

The director was now glowing all over. Grover had run away somewhere during Percy's rant, and Chiron was averting his eyes from the director. "How, boy? Because I say so!" And than the director blasted Percy into a huge pile of dust.

"Well, that takes care of that little problem." The director said.

Chiron sighed. "First the Fury, now this!"

The director clapped his hands in delight. "He faced a Fury? How'd it go?"

"Something about a freaking pen. And than OMNOMNOMNOMNOM."

"Interesting." The director played his hand. "I believe I win, Chiron."

Chiron shook his head. "Count again."

"CRAP!" the director said. Than, winking, he said, "Well, you'd better go find Grover."

And as Chiron rose to go look for him, as soon as his back was turned, Dionysus turned HIM into a pile of dust too.

Mr. D than walked off back to the Big House, where a nice game of Pac-Man awaited him.


If you've read the original This Is A Pen, feel free to request any of your favorite old chapters before we venture into new material.