This Is A Pen 2.0 Chapter 3
Parody of a Percy Jackson quote
"Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed Percy towards one of the toilets. "Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking."
And, unfortunately for her and anyone who was in the nearby area, this set Percy off on what is now the norm for him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Percy exclaimed. "I am stupid looking? Yo, in what FREAKING universe do YOU have the right to say that I'M stupid looking? DAMN, girl, you look like a freaking pile of FRAKING POOP that was STEPPED ON, than SCRAPED OFF, and freaking STEPPED ON AGAIN."
Clarisse did not take insults lightly. "Listen here, punk -"
But Percy was nowhere near finished. He got himself free of her grasp and stood up. "No, YOU listen BITCH! I got ten times more good looks than YOU do! The only guy that could EVER fall for you would be some DEADBEAT named Chris who is such a loser he turns against you and than comes back later!"
Somewhere in camp, Chris Rodriguez shivers.
"And ANOTHER thing," Percy continued, "I may not know who my daddy is, but DAMN girl, you FREAKING SMELL. Like, FREAKING BAD. And you're just jealous, BITCH. 'Oh, my daddy is Ares, bow and kiss my feet bitches!' But than I show up, and I'm just FREAKING cooler than YOU, BITCH! Yeah, you DAMN BITCH, I freaking KILLED A MINOTAUR! Hell, if I could kill the damn Minotaur, I'd probably be able to kill the damn FREAKING MEGATAUR!"
Annabeth slapped her forehead. "Percy, there is NO Megataur."
Either Percy just didn't hear her or was ignoring her; either way, he was still going on. "Yeah, BITCH! I killed the DAMN MINOTAUR! Bow before me and KISS MY FEET, BITCH! Because what have YOU killed, miss DAUGHTER-OF-A-FREAKING-WAR-GOD? That's right! NOTHING! I haven't even been here like a WEEK and I have ALREADY pwned your FREAKING ASS!"
"JACKSON!" Clarisse screamed.
"Yeah, Clar-iss-a-wimp, SAY MY NAME! Who's the FREAKING AWESOMEST?"
"JACKSON!" Clarisse screamed again, and she was really pissed.
"WHAT?" Percy yelled back. But even if he could kill the DAMN MINOTAUR, he was no match for Clarisse.
"NOW WHAT, MISTER I KILLED A FREIKING MINOTAUR? HAVE FUN IN THE TOILET!" Clarisse yelled as she pushed Percy's head to the ground.
But Percy felt a tug in the pit of his stomach, and he could freaking hear the PLUMBING RUMBLE.
And than water exploded from the damn toilets. Hell, it was more of a damn flood! And after it all, Percy was completely dry while Clarisse was drenched. Percy relished this. "HA! VICTORY, BITCH! TAKE THAT! I AM THE SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM, BITCH! BOW DOWN AND KISS MY FREAKING FEET, BECAUSE PERCY JACKSON HAS PWNED YOU!"
I know what you, the reader, is thinking. 'When does Percy die? He always dies! That's part of the comedy!' But I think Percy may have learned his lesson. Wait, is he saying something again? HA! Wow, sure as hell looks like he didn't! Watch this!
Percy was still ranting. "What's that, BITCH? Your daddy is the freaking WAR GOD but yet you got beat by some PLUMBING? If your daddy is as tough as you, than he must be like a freaking pathetic excuse of a god!"
And than, lo and behold, what the freaking hell, a DAMN BOAR came bursting through the bathroom wall. "WHAT THE HELL?" Percy asked as the boar charged at him. As soon as it made contact, Percy exploded into dust.
Clarisse laughed manically. "Ha! YOU DUMBASS DIVA! NEVER INSULT MY DADDY! NOW YOU'RE A FREAKING PILE OF DUST! KISS MY FEET NOW, JACKSON! WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU CAN'T! YOU'RE DEAD!"
And than the plumbing freaking exploded again. Clarisse tried to run out, but Annabeth had locked the door. "CRAP!" Clarisse screamed as she drowned.
And Annabeth sat in her cabin. "Well, that was a pretty good day," she said to herself. "Too bad that the plumbing broke, right?"
Two more classic chapters will be uploaded before I start with the new material. So if you had any real favorites, or if there's anything you'd like to see in the future, just leave it in a review.
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa - T.D.
