got another favorite! :) here's another chapter. i really need reviews, though! please? :3
05. We share common ground; interesting.
00. Born Like This: Three Days Grace
01. Break Out! Break Out!: All Time Low
02. World So Cold: Three Days Grace
03. Someone Who Cares: Three Days Grace
04. You Stupid Girl: Framing Hanley
05. Ignorance: Paramore
There was a knock on my door the next day, around eleven, that really started the day for me. As usual, I got up at five and ran, but after that, I always showered, came back to my room, and just kind of lazed around there until someone needed me.
It was Nudge, looking and feeling rather surprised that I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my iPod in my ears—blaring the song All I Want by A Day to Remember—and my Mac in front of me. I was using it for Yahoo! Messenger, which I was using to talk to Sarah. She's gonna be a sophomore this year, and she's got this guy she's crushing on who's apparently way out of her league.
Boy drama, I know. It's something I stay out of myself, simply because I haven't found a boy worth it yet. Well, boy, man, or guy. Just . . . haven't found anyone.
I looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "Yes, ma'am?"
Once again, she felt surprised—more so than before—but she also seemed a tad nervous around me, like most people seemed to. "Wow. Preston was still sound asleep, yet you're wide awake and doing stuff?"
"He's not a morning person," I explained with a grin. "Hates mornings, really. Is he actually up?"
She seemed too intimidated to use words, so she just slowly nodded. "Erm, we're, uh . . . shopping trip. If you want to go . . . ."
"Oh, of course!" I exclaimed, quickly scrambling up to my feet. I decided, so she wasn't too freaked out, to give her a brief, forced smile. Not so much fake as it was forced . . . a little awkward, if you ask me. "Shopping is, erm, always fun. When . . . when are we leaving?"
"Wow," Max mused, laughing to herself as she joined in on our conversation. But only after Nudge stood there for a few more long moments, completely silent. "First person I've ever met that makes Nudge speechless. Your brother, by the way, is a pain in the ass to get up. Anyways, we're leaving in ten. You up for it?"
"Sure!" I agreed eagerly, possibly a bit too eagerly, so I calmed down a little. Nudge was thankful to have an exit, so she disappeared out the door. "Shopping is my girlish weakness."
Max sighed dismally, almost as if she didn't like it. "Mine too. But don't you dare tell a soul."
I nodded to let her know both that I got it and that I wouldn't. With a quick message to Sarah telling her to text me, I shut down my computer and rushed into my huge walk-in closet to begin changing.
Faintly, though, I heard that arrogant, way too damn sexy voice. "Come on, Angel. Get in there before she starts changing. I wanna see those D cups in all their glory."
A low growl escaped my lips as I turned and looked to the, now, two girls standing in my doorway, who both looked genuinely confused at my sudden mood change. Angel was standing there, frowning, but resting on her head was a strange hat . . . with a fucking camera in it. She also seemed very confused, as if she had no idea what was going on.
I didn't respond to their confusion. Instead, I curtly walked passed them and into Iggy's room, which was right beside mine. It was a downside, definitely, but I got over it and endured the misery. For Jason and Val.
"For your information, you sexist bastard, I'm a double D, not just a D," I snapped bitterly. "But, thank you for bringing it to my attention that I can't change in front of anyone now. That could've ended badly."
When he smirked at me, I almost lost it. It was all I could do to stop myself from punching that perfect face of his. But, I managed to keep my cool, as I kept reminding myself, Jason and Val. Jason and Val.
"For you or for me? 'Cause that would be a very satisfying sight for me."
"Go fuck yourself," I snorted, turning to head out of his room.
I almost rammed right into Max as I did this, who was scowling at him. "Iggy, we agreed—especially you, Ella, and me—that we wouldn't do anything to make them not like us. This isn't helping anything."
He shrugged nonchalantly. "She started it."
I rolled my eyes. "Would you prefer I lie and pretend I was a little interested? You would've felt differently anyways, so it would be pointless."
"That's true," he murmured. "But, hey. You were the one listening to my conversations. That's an invasion of privacy. It's pathetic."
"I can't help that I heard you," I all but barked back at him. "And don't start with me about invading privacy! You were gonna use Angel to watch me change! That's pathetic. But you know what? I'm gonna be the better person and walk away from this. I'm gonna tune out all emotions so I don't kill you, even though it takes a lot of thought and concentration."
"Which we all know you don't need to be doing," he scoffed. "Alright. I have to get ready for this stupid shopping trip. Everyone but Mika, please leave." Once he finished talking, he shot me that cocky grin of his.
And all I could do was roll my eyes again as I turned and headed out.
Max grimaced. "I'm sorry about my brother. He's been kinda down these past few years, more so than before."
There was sudden remorse and shame, it seemed, seeping from Max now as she adverted her eyes away from me.
I blinked. "Um . . . okay. Hey, look. I just wanna say this now, not because I want you to tell me what you're thinking and feeling embarrassed about, but because I think you should know. I don't judge. Whatever went on had its reasons, and who am I to determine if they're 'good' reasons or 'bad' ones? Nah. I really can't say anything. I've messed up enough for everyone in this house . . . enough to last us all a lifetime. But, yes. There ya go. Imma go change now."
Shock was the basic sketch of everyone's emotions. At the same time. Including Iggy's.
But, I didn't care what he thought. That was his own business, and either way, it didn't matter to me.
It took me a bit to decide what it was I wanted to wear. Not too long, though, because I didn't want them to have to wait for me. So, I just put on a pair of short dark blue jean shorts, bright electric blue shimmery tights, a black lacy camisole, my black combat boots, and my black zip-up hoodie.
Why a hoodie and tights at the beginning of summer in Arizona? Well, my scars . . . they're really bad against my pale, practically white, skin, so they're obvious if I don't wear something over them.
"Mom's Equinox holds five," Max reminded Iggy pointedly as I walked out of my room, making sure to grab my keys as I went. "She took our Roadster to work today so we could have more room. Your Camaro only holds two, maybe three. Angel doesn't like riding back there anymore."
Iggy rolled his eyes. "So what do you suggest?"
"Well, there's ten of us," Max sighed. "So, anyone else have a five person vehicle?"
"I do," I said instantly, smiling a little as Fang grinned and cocked an eyebrow at me. It seemed to piss Max off, but that was a good thing in this case. If Max and Fang weren't together, maybe I could be the push to get them there! Clearly she's jealous of me, although I have no idea why she would be, so I could make her so jealous that she realizes she can't live without him and has to be with him.
Iggy looked over at Preston with a grin, almost as if he was trying to ignore me. "Dude, that Ducati is pretty sick."
Preston let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his head, right about the same time I smirked over at Iggy. "That, uh, it's actually Mika's. The 2011 Geiger Mustang . . . that's mine. She's got the Jeep and the Ducati."
His eyes widened in surprise, but he looked over at me anyways, truly impressed. "Ah. You're a Mustang guy. What about you?"
"Camaro all the way," I sighed happily. "My next vehicle will be a Camaro. 2012. Convertible. Completely blacked out."
Now, he looked and felt flat out cocky, and I didn't understand why, not until he said, "That's what I've got. Exactly."
I just sighed dismally. "Of course it is. But, hey. I have room for four more in my Jeep."
Max nodded and smiled. "Nudge? Why don't you take the Equinox? You, Preston, Gazzy, Blake, and Ella? Does that sound good?"
"Works for me," she shrugged, enjoying the fact that she was given the keys, and not Ella or Blake. The group she called out left, heading out for the garage, I guess.
That left Iggy, Max, Fang, Angel, and me.
"It'll be best if Fang, Angel, and I sit in the back," Max sighed, and even though I had no idea why she was saying that, I didn't argue because that put her and Fang back there together. "I didn't think about that. You two gonna kill each other?"
"Nah," I decided, after pausing a few brief seconds to think. "I can handle him."
Iggy smirked. "Probably not in bed."
"Ugh, you're so stupid," I muttered before walking quickly out the front door, simply hoping they were all following me.
They were, because when I turned on my Jeep and I Don't Care by Apocalypta feat. AdamGontierfrom Three Days Gracestarted loudly playing, they all climbed in too.
Iggy looked a little surprised as he cocked an eyebrow in the direction of my stereo. "Wow. Nice taste in music. Love this song."
I smiled happily over at him. "How do you feel about Theory of a Deadman?"
"I feel like they're pretty fucking amazing," he said honestly. "Breaking Benjamin?"
"Incredible!" I exclaimed blissfully. "Three Days Grace?"
He snorted. "Who doesn't like them? What about My Darkest Days?"
"That is very true," I mused, pursing my lips a little before nodding. "Oh hell yes. Most people haven't heard of them, but what about Paramore? Kinda different than the others—okay, a lot different—but still."
"Oh yes. Face it, Iggy, you're gonna end up falling hard for this girl,"Max said matter-of-factly in a sing-song kind of way, almost like she was mocking him. I could feel her discomfort with the subject, and that's when I realized that she really didn't like me. It was more than just jealousy, too.
Huh. Wonder why—which is sarcasm, my friend. She doesn't realize that I'm not my reputation.
Iggy grunted. "Ugh. Yes, Paramore. And thank you, Max. You could keep these things to yourself." Then, he shrugged. "But, whatever. You're wrong, either way."
"Nope," Max disagreed.
Huh? Do I get no say in this? Whether he falls in love with me or not, I am not and will not be with him . . . ever! First of all, by the end of the summer, he'll be my stepbrother. That's, like, step-incest!
But . . . is it wrong? I don't think so. I just needed that extra excuse so things made sense in my head.
*Iggy*
Mika seemed so confused, even though she knew the gist of what Max was saying. She didn't understand what we were talking about, though, but I didn't really care if she did or not.
How sick would that be? To fall in love with my stepsister? I mean, sure, she's not technically my stepsister yet, but she might as well be. And the whole empathetic thing? Being two-ways would get really annoying and really old, really quick.
And Max expects me to fall in love with her? That weird, strange, messed up, sexy girl sitting beside me? There was no logical way.
Besides, love is just a weird, mind controlling emotion that sucks the brains out of people, leaving them nothing but walking zombies with hearts gushing with sick, sappy emotions and feelings. Therefore, they see opportunities for love that will never really happen.
Sorry. Emo rant for the day. No; that does NOT make me emo. So what if I have black tips in my hair? That doesn't make me a bad person, or an emo person either. It was just an emotional rant. There is a big difference.
Love was just something I didn't like. To be honest, I hated everything about it, everything about the idea. The idea of being with someone because I want to be, not because I have to be or because my hormones are controlling me just doesn't seem fun.
It just doesn't . . . okay. Ella and Blake seem so happy, right?
Well, they're the only couple I know that don't have problems, aren't constantly fighting, and actually stay together and just truly love each other. Everyone else I know who is in love, i.e. Gazzy or Angel, are in love with someone who will never love them back, and they're going to be miserable all of their lives because of it, because of love.
And, love gives people the idea that life is a fairytale, and one person can make everything right and perfect and will stop anything and everything from going wrong.
That just doesn't happen. Life is not a fairytale, and things will go wrong. All love does is sickly twist the human brain into thinking that someone cares, and then they're just suddenly gone. Love doesn't exist anymore, and that person is left broken and alone.
For just an instant, love can change the world. Then, reality hurts that much worse, because you got so wrapped up in your fantasy land. It's really just an excuse to get hurt.
It's just the slowest form of suicide.
And, I love you . . . they're just words! It doesn't mean anything when they're gone. When that love fails, the sucker that was stupid enough to fall in love in the first place is left broken and confused and alone. Like, our mom is a single mom, and who knows where Ella's dad is. Seriously? I mean, yeah, she's got Jason now, but still.
People die because of this, okay? I understand sacrificing yourself for people you care about, like I would do for any of my family, but killing yourself over a deceased love? No way in hell is that ever happening. It's stupid!
Some people are actually stupid enough to mistake love for lust too. That's when it gets bad.
See, what really sucks is when you love someone, and they love someone else, and that someone else that they love just loves someone else. Do you get the pattern? People say that love is making the world better, but it's not. It's making it worse, and more depressing. More people are killing themselves because of love and romance and all that crap that people don't need.
So, yeah; I'm not gonna fall in love, ever. Most people spend their life trying to find love, and I'm trying to lose it.
