Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce

A/N~ I know it's been forever since the last update, but I swear this has been the first available chance I've had, and that I will try and update more often seeing after this semester I have no more essays for the rest of my high school year.

Kel's POV

I turned around to find myself looking into Roald's familiar eyes. At that moment I was torn between two feelings. Part of me wanted to walk up to Roald and pull him to any place that we could be alone, yet at the same time I wanted to just walk off and not say anything to him, keep myself from getting hurt even more than I already was. "Kel," he said, "Please tell me you're alright."

"I'm alright. Why do you think something is wrong?"

"I noticed you and Joren together at supper, it surprised me I guess last I knew the two of you hated each other."

"People change, Joren changed while he was away from the castle, and I changed from my time away from the castle, although there are some things I wish I could forget."

"I'm really--"

"There you are Kel, I was looking for you."

I took a deep breath before looking to see who was talking to me. Dom was coming down the hallway, not running but walking too quickly for this to be a normal visit. "Raoul sent me looking for you. He's decided that we should all head out into the woods and go over some page training exercises, give us a chance to do some proper training before winter comes."

"When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible, although most likely not until after Raoul wakes up tomorrow, you know by now how much he likes his rest."

"Any good man who does as much as my lord would take advantage of sleeping within the palace walls. I'm Prince Roald but it seems I must take my leave to pack."

I headed to my own room in silence, thankful that Dom had interrupted our conversation. The idea of a few days away from the castle seemed great since out in the forest I had little chance of running into Roald. Instead of entering my own room upon arrival at my door, I decided to see if Raoul was in his.

I knocked on the door next to mine and waited for a response. Inside the room sat Raoul and Lord Wyldon. Both men stopped talking as I entered. "Ah, Kel, it's good your here. I was just discussing with Lord Wyldon about the training we are about to do in the forest, and he is hoping to take advantage of it and have the pages come along, as well as an squire who will be able to."

"So it won't only be the King's Own men, but pages and squires as well."

I hadn't said the line as a question, but rather repeated it to myself. It was an idea I had to get used to now, breaking my hope of avoiding one certain squire. "Yes," Lord Wyldon said, "any available squire, so for it's only you, Joren, and Merric. Both Lady Alanna and Sir Imrah of Leggan are heading north with their squires."

Although it didn't show I was ready to laugh with relief when I heard the news. It would have been great if I could have spent a couple days more with Neal, and Lady Alanna, but the fact that Sir Imrah of Leggan and Roald would be gone by then gave me relief. It would have been impossible to avoid Roald if we were in the same camp. "I didn't think you would take the pages out so early in the year sir."

"Well I must take advantage of this opportunity. Plus with the men within the King's Own and you three squires, everything will be fine. As you must have heard by now, the plan was to go over basic page training anyways, which means the older pages can review, while the new ones learn."

"I see your reasoning my lord. May I ask which day we're leaving on?"

"We leave tomorrow. Pack the same items you would have in your page years, but ensure that you bring your sword. We aren't riding any horses, but you must choose one to be left with the supplies. There is always the chance that we will have to leave in the middle to do our duty."

"Yes sir. If you have nothing for me to do I shall go pack."

"There is nothing for you to do at this moment, you may go pack."

I bowed and left the room, entering my own. I let go a sigh of relief as soon as the door between the rooms was shut. I smiled and fell back on my bed.

Merric and Joren I could deal with, Roald I couldn't. That and with Neal gone there would most likely be less tension. Although conversation at the table seemed normal, it felt as if the guys were holding back and not talking as their true selves, and Joren being there may have caused that. Getting off my bed I began to pack a few changes of clothes.

I had finished packing my clothes when someone knocked at my door. I opened it to see Neal standing outside. "Some of us are going into Corus and I was wondering if you wanted to join us."

"Sure, I was thinking I should go see Lalassa before things get busy."

"I bet the guys would like to see her too. We normally avoid the idea of walking into the dress shop since we are guys."

"That's too sad; you guys were the first males she was comfortable around after coming to the castle."

"Well come on. We're walking since some of us ride off on horses tomorrow and will be on them for a long while."

"Some of us? As far as I know only you and Roald leave tomorrow."

"And Merric's the last part of the group going down to Corus."

"Roald's coming?"

"Yes."

"Maybe it will be better if I just stay back then."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, it's just that I don't know how earlier we're leaving tomorrow and I would want to be tired when we leave, it wouldn't be a good example for the pages."

I attempted to shut the door but Neal stopped it. "You were fine about coming until you found out who was coming. What would you agree to come if we asked Joren to join us?"

"No."

"Then why won't you come?"

I knew I hadn't told Neal about what had happened with Roald and me. I hadn't told anyone, Joren had realized it on his own which led me to assume Neal would have figured it out. "Roald and I aren't the best of friends right now. It's hard for me to talk to him."

"Kel, there's no one in our way tonight, you can talk freely seeing as Merric and I know everything."

Either Neal had no clue to what I was trying to say, or didn't want to say it outright and was hoping he wouldn't have to. "Neal, it's not that we can't talk in that way. It's his engagement, its official; he can do nothing about it, it's best for us to stay apart."

"Don't let that ruin your friendship, if things get awkward I'll come back to the castle with you, but it seems like your avoiding him and that won't help."

"And how do you know so much?"

"Years of wisdom and heart break."

"Fine, I'll come but if I want to leave you cannot try and stop me."

I locked my door and followed Neal down to the gates where the other two were waiting. As we approached them Merric yelled out, "Race you to Corus."

Both guys ahead of us took off running in the direction of the city. "No fair." yelled Neal as we chased after them.

"Completely." I heard Roald shout.

"How's that?"

"You're known for your running Neal, it wouldn't be a fair race if you started next to us."

"That's called cheating."

"Actually it's called thinking to our advantage."

From the way they were talking it made me wonder if they knew I was the other person with Neal. I felt like I should be laughing but couldn't. It felt different running in a dress, I hadn't done so in years. I held onto the skirt to keep it from revealing anything. As we reached the outer part of Corus the guys slowed down, taking the chance to catch their breath. Merric was breathing the hardest. "Next time Merric don't make a challenge if you're not going to be able to survive it yourself."

"I'm fine Neal, just a little out of practice."

I felt Roald eyes on me, "You did pretty well for wearing a dress Kel."

"Of course, women need to be able to run in dresses, how else would they get away from men?"

"We're going to visit Lalassa first, is there anything else you want to do other than wander around?"

Merric and Roald mumbled some answers, but I wasn't paying attention.

"May I suggest not doing anything that will embarrass you in front of the pages."

"But Kel if he does either, or maybe both you and Dom will tell me, and I would love to be able to laugh, even if it's at a fellow squire's expense."

I promised to tell if Merric had any accidents while Neal was away, and ensured that if I missed something I would find someone who witnessed it. We walked through Corus until we came upon Lalassa's shop. "It's closed."

"She's probably not here then. I'm going to head back up to the castle then; I really just wanted to talk with Lalassa."

"I'll come back with you Kel."

Merric mentioned seeing who was in one of the taverns and asked Neal to join. Neal looked at me, "Go, Roald will ensure nothing will happen to me."

Roald's POV

Neal must have known about the situation between Kel and I, otherwise he wouldn't have given only the two of us walking back to the castle another thought. I hoped Kel would agree to come back with me since it would be the perfect time to talk.

We waved to Merric and Neal before heading up the hill to the castle. Once we were beyond the city I began to speak. "Kel, will you listen to me this time?"

"What other choice do I have? No one is going to show up and interrupt you this time."

"Just listen. I really wish I could change the situation, but I can't, not right now anyways. I'm still trying though, finding a way I can be with you."

I had thought about talking to the woman I was engaged to. Convince her that we should call of the marriage. Most likely there was someone in her life she didn't want to give up either. If I could persuade her it would be easier to call off the wedding.

We were nearing the castle and would soon be visible by the sentry. I sped up until I was walking next to Kel. I grabbed her arm and turned her so that she was facing me. I pulled her into a hug. "Kel, I hope next time we talk we can be on better terms. I know I hurt you but it doesn't mean that I don't love. I do Kel, and if I could I would tell all of Tortall, but Kel you know what that will do."

"I know, it's just, hard."

I smiled into her hair and moved back a little. "I love you Kel, and do whatever I can to keep us together."

With that I pulled her towards me and kissed her. I pulled back knowing I wouldn't be able to break this kiss if I continued it any longer. "Promise me one thing Kel. Stay happy, even if I'm not able to be with you ever again I will feel better knowing you're happy. Even if it means you being with Joren."

"I promise. I'll stay happy."

I took Kel's hand and held it until we entered the castle. There we parted ways both knowing the future may change for us.

A/N~ That's the update :) If I don't have one up before my exams start one should be up shortly after. Please review, it's the reviews that remind me I need to update!!! If you see any mistakes please point them out, I'm hoping to go through everything when I have time and fix it.