Title: How We Came to Be
By: Xmarksthespot
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or How I Met Your Mother
Notes: Thank you to the lovely independentwriter-137 for offering to beta and editing this chapter for me. And thank you for all the kind reviews. :)
Italics — Future!Dick
Normal Font — Past!Dick
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Kids, as you know, your Aunt M'gann's telepathy was used on several occasions and became our main form of communication during our missions. But as the months went by, we each learned that M'gann herself was having difficulty using it only when we needed her to, unlike on Mars where she used it all the time.
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1 month ago:
"Oh, I know! We should have a Disney movie marathon!" Wally suggested.
M'gann clapped her hands together with glee. "That would be great—that way we could watch all the movies that Earth kids have watched. What do you think Conner?"
The Boy of Steel next to her merely crossed his arms and grunted.
"Perfect. Don't worry Meg-a-licious, I'll show you a whole new world!"
Suddenly, Wally became stiff, and readjusted his position after. He cleared his throat and walked out of the living room without saying anything else but an 'I have to go'.
Artemis laughed, placing an arm along the other girl's shoulders. "You rock, M'gann!"
"What do you mean?"
"You just rejected Kid Oblivious without saying a word!"
M'gann's eyes widened before floating to the kitchen area. "Oh no! I didn't mean for that to be public. I'm sorry, Wally! Wally!"
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2 weeks ago:
"M'gann…"
The green girl turned around. "Yes, Robin?"
"Please stop thinking about Superboy…without his shirt on."
Suddenly, she looked like a half-ripe tomato about to burst. "Oh…Um…Please try to forget you saw that."
"Exactly what I'm trying to do here…"
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Yesterday:
"Does anyone know the answer to this question?" Mr. Carr asked, though no one bothered to raise their hands.
Conner could've answered, of course, but even he knew that there was a fine line between answering diligently and answering too much of Lucas Carr's questions in civics class.
'I should answer the question…'
He turned to see Megan on the other side of the room. She was letting her thoughts go astray again for the third time that day.
'Oh, but what if I get it wrong…'
'Maybe I'll review my notes after class instead of hanging out with the girls…'
'What if I make a fool out of myself?'
Peeved with the voice in his head, Conner slammed both hands on the desk, pushing himself up from the seat. "Just answer the question!"
He froze.
Mr. Carr's eyebrow rose and every single classmate turned to face the boy in the Superman shirt.
"Is there something wrong, Conner?"
"Uh…" He turned to see Megan's apologetic face. Then with a sigh, remembering an old excuse that Wally once explained to him, he said, "I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Could I…Could I be excused?"
Mr. Carr stared at the boy questionably, but nodded his head anyway.
'Sorry, Conner!'
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So it did take a while for your Aunt M'gann to get the gist of things here on Earth, but the team wasn't angry at all. In fact, believe it or not kids, we actually helped train her.
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"M'gann, have I got a mission for you!" I announce, using my hand on the edge of the furniture as leverage as I back flip onto the couch. I squish myself in between her and Conner, half sitting on her lap and half annoying Conner—not my fault he takes up so much space.
She cranes her neck to face me, bright smile that contrasts with her green skin and an innocent, naïve expression printed all over.
I have a theory though, and I feel that I'm somewhat psychic. I mean, after all these years of being exposed to Gotham pollution and chemical poisons from Batman's rogues, I have to have some sort of mutant superpower, right? I'm calling on me being sort of psychic.
If that, along with my experience with girls (in both this and my past life), have taught me anything, it's that what M'gann is really trying to tell me is to never sit on her lap again, and don't ever interrupt her time with Conner unless it's a medical emergency in which a bat-a-rang was indented into my head and I was close to bleeding to death.
M'gann's not really innocent as she seems.
And she really needs to keep her thoughts to herself. That last one about the bat-a-rang in my head gave me nightmares for weeks.
"Yes, Robin?"
Her smile widens again and I know well enough to slide off her lap.
"How would you like to come to Gotham for a day?" At the suggestion, I could see every team member raise their heads with intrigued looks. Yeah, I said it. Gotham City. Home of The Batman. Where the infamous Joker and Two-Face reside. The place that's even more legendary than Atlantis.
"Aren't metas banned from…Gotham?" Artemis asks.
I roll my eyes behind my mask. For someone from Gotham, she sure sounds like she didn't even want to step on the sidewalk where the drug dealers trade, and school children roam. I mean, it's not like those two groups are interacting with each other.
"So?" I give a shrug. And then a light bulb goes off. "Hey, you guys could come too! What a great idea, Arty."
Her eyes widen, so much so that it reminds me of earlier today when we were in school and I drew a miniature Speedy on her cast. She yelled at me in Vietnamese and then added a slur of other words; I'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of: I can't wait to get this damn cast off!
"W-Wait, I didn't suggest—"
"It'll be great for team bonding, don't you think, Kaldur?" I jump from my seat and hang my legs on the steel bars that I had convinced Batman to put up on the mountain walls just cause.
Our leader stares at the floor contemplatively, but even he looks like is about to break down at the thought of going to Gotham. Oh fearless one, why art thou so hesitant?
"While spending our weekend together would be beneficial for our team dynamics…" Finally, he looks up and stares straight at me. "I do not think that Gotham would be a great idea, unless Batman approves."
Ugh. Lame.
"Guys, Batman's going to be working and having a regular, human life. He's not going to pay attention to some measly teenagers roaming around the streets and finishing one of the most epic missions of all time."
Suddenly, Wally is right in front of me with a frantic look on his face. "Dude, you can't have the most epic mission of all time when I'm still on probation!"
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Kids, remember that time when I told you your Uncle Wally skipped all his afternoon classes so that he could come to Gotham and help your Aunt Artemis out after breaking her arm and then his parents and Batman found out?
He ended up not showing his face in Gotham for another five weeks until I had convinced Bruce to let him come to my birthday, but only after he and Wally had a talk.
It's still the reason why you will rarely see Wally in Gotham.
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I shrug. "Your loss, bro." I turn to the others. "So, are you guys up to it? Come on…it'll be fun," I sing. "You know you want to see what Gotham is like…"
"Er…But Batman's rules…"
"Rules schmules, M'gann. Batman won't know a thing." I smirk. Oh yeah, they're tempted alright. I just need the finishing touch: Kaldur. Maybe all those years of going to Bruce's parties paid off after all. If only I can take off my mask now, then they could see me be the charmer that Gotham sees on primetime television. "What do you say, Kal? Gonna give ol' Gotham another try?"
The others must not know about it, well, everyone but Wally, because they all give Kaldur questioning looks. Seriously, Kaldur? You haven't told them one of the most epic stories of all time? I'm ashamed of you. Really.
"Oh, so you haven't told the team about your first trip to Gotham. Well, it is a great team bonding stor—"
"Enough," Kaldur commands. He really does look like a fish out of water, all wide eyed and gasping for a little H2O. "Enough, Robin," he repeats. "If Conner, M'gann, and Artemis are willing, I will agree to this…mission of yours."
I grin.
So aster.
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And so everyone but Wally went to Gotham that day, and while we tried to convince him that he could be inside the invisible bio-ship, he was taking extra precautions and decided to stay home for the day.
Meanwhile, I instructed the team to meet me at the center of our beloved Gotham.
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"This place is a dump."
I fight the urge to slap my forehead. "Artemis, you live here. You can't call Gotham a dump."
She frowns. "No, I mean this place is a dump. Why the hell are we meeting in an alleyway when we're in our civvies?"
I shrug. "I thought it'd be an easy place to find."
"Easy place to…You're telling me that you think Kal, Megan, and Conner are going to be able to find us in a random, rat-infested, cigarette covered alleyway in Gotham-freaking-City?!"
I nod.
Artemis frowns and lowers her head as she rubs her temples. "Oh my God, I'm going to be stuck in an alleyway all night with a thirteen year old brat and no one's going to come rescue me if I scream unless it's Batman and—ugh, he's going to start questioning why I'm hanging out with his thirteen year old bat brat—"
"You know I can hear you right?"
"—and he's wearing a hideous wig and won't tell me why the hell he's wearing a fugly ass wig—"
I just can't wait to introduce Artemis to Alfred.
Speaking of wigs, I take out the compact disc from my utility belt—I don't care what Wally or Artemis say, it is not unmanly—and check to see if the brown hair is still in place. I don't know how Bruce does it. I cannot keep a wig on my head for the life of me.
"Artemis, chill. I told you, Kal's been here before so he's bringing Megan and Conner. They'll be here shortly. And I already told you an hour ago, I'm a wanted criminal here in the city—don't ask why, you don't want to know—and the Bats wouldn't like it if he's going to have to find another partner because I got arrested."
The expression she gives me is similar to the one I got the first time I told her that story; it is somewhat a mix of fear, doubt, and anxiety.
Luckily, before she could question me any further, the rest of the team (sans Wally) shows up. Psh, and Artemis thought they wouldn't get here by nightfall. They question my hair, of course. These guys really do know how to flatter someone. I mean, I know I look good with my original hair colour, but must they comment on me with this too? Awe, shucks.
"Ah-hem."
I turn to Kaldur. One look at him and I know he's already slightly—okay, maybe really—pissed off at me for putting him in charge of leading the other two. Maybe he did have trouble finding the alleyway. I mean, the last time he was here…Well, a lot of things happened.
Ah, good times.
I could see Kaldur fidgeting uncomfortably, not liking the turtleneck we made him wear to cover his gills. Man, it must suck to be a fish-man out of water.
"Now that everyone's here, mind telling us what this 'epic' mission is, Rob?"
"Patience, Arty. Just follow me, guys." I gesture a hand motion and lead them towards one of the tallest skyscrapers in Gotham: Wayne Industries.
Or, well, I lead them to the post office across the street from Wayne Industries. And I hope that after what, two, three months of training, we're covert enough to avoid the ominous Bruce Wayne who is probably sitting in his office chair right now hoping for the world to blow up or something so he could get out of his meeting. God, I hope I'm not expected to be the next Batman and Bruce Wayne. Too many issues in one person. I don't think I would be able to handle it.
The team is getting rowdy, even though the office is just another block or two away. So much for being superheroes, but maybe, and I'm seventy percent sure this is true, it's just the feeling of being in the Gotham air that nerved them. Whatever. They don't realize that Gotham, as busy as it is now, isn't really alive for another…oh, two hours or so. Whenever the sun sets, which should be soon seeing as the winter seasons are approaching.
"Quick, behind the wall!" I yell, and push them all to the nearest alleyway.
"What was that for?!" Conner yells back.
"Oh nothing, just thought I saw a cop…" I smirk and readjust the wig, making sure Artemis sees my nod. Heh, better keep the mission going before she decides to strangle me.
She's definitely not whelmed today.
When we're a good distance away from the office, I point through the glass windows.
"You see that woman on the phone there?" I point to the secretary at the front desk with the white blouse on.
The others nod.
"See if you can take a little peek into her mind for me. Just so I know what's up with her," I instruct.
Conner uncrosses his arms. "That's it? You made us all sneak here only to read some woman's mind?"
"Heh, chill, Con," I say with both of my hands up in the air. "If you wanted to fight that badly, all you have to do is wait until the sun sets.
"Er…"
Can Kryptonians get goose bumps? If so, I can so totally see some on his arms
I turn to Megan. "So can you do it from here, or do you have to go inside?"
She looks to the side for a moment and then confirms with a simple nod. "I'm good here, Rob. I just…need a moment."
"Okay, good," I tell her. "She used to be a criminal, and the Bats and I highly suspect that she's planning a heist soon. You don't have to go too far into her mind, just try to figure out her plans for the next few days."
Megan nods and as she stares blankly though the glass doors, the rest of us surround her, pretending to chat and blend in with the crowd.
"So, uh, Arty…How's Wally?" I ask.
She gives me some sort of what-the-fudge-are-you-talking-about look and I smile innocently, turning to Kaldur after.
"Kal, everything going swell underwater, I bet. How's Ariel?"
He raises an eyebrow initially, but the moment he sees my grin and Artemis's and Conner's faces on him, he regains his posture. He clears his throat.
"As I have told you before, Rob. Ariel's current living situation is on the surface world with his Majesty, Prince Eric."
Good for you, Kaldur, I've taught you well.
"Fascinating," I respond and in the corner of my eyes, I see Artemis shaking her head.
"I'm surrounded by trolls," she mutters.
Conner cocks his head to the side. "I don't…get it. Who's Prince Eric?"
I'm about to go through an extensive history on the foreign prince who escaped reigns and terrors of Greenland only to come to Canada where the moose and geese held him hostage for eleven years, and it wasn't until he met a kind Hobbit that he was able to break free and discover the mermaidian population in Atlantis, when unfortunately, Megan shifts from her position.
"I'm done," she says meekly. She turns around and faces all of us…Is she sunburned?
Wait. If Martians can't handle fire, but are burned by the sun, AKA a giant, fiery ball of gas, is that a bad sign? Is she going to lose her morphing abilities? Shoot, we're going to have to carry a seven foot, white Martian back to the zeta portals, aren't we? Or well, Conner will. Maybe we can hide her in Wayne Industries and claim she's their new mascot for whatever it is that Bruce is planning on launching from his company next.
Oh God, Bruce. He's going to kill me if he finds out I brought the team here.
"Uh, Megan, are you okay?" Artemis asks. "You're looking a little red."
She shakes her head, yes. "I'm fine, Artemis."
Awesome. Bruce won't find out after all.
"Did you figure out what her plans are?"
At the thought, Megan's cheeks become rosier than before, and she shies away by looking at the pavement below our feet.
"Is something wrong, Megan?"
She starts off by stuttering, and then finally, she says: "Well she's dating Bruce Wayne…he runs Wayne Industries."
Well no freaking duh.
I hear something like a hum coming from Artemis. The type of hum women usually make whenever Bruce enters the ballroom at our parties and the occasional man—for whatever reason I still don't understand. I insist that Megan continues.
"Um, uh…"
There's a hint of green peeking through her Caucasian skin, only to be concealed by the redness of her cheeks, making it look like one of us had given dear old Megan here a nasty bruise. That's not good. If Selina's plans are that drastic and have left Megan speechless, then I need to get Bruce out of that relationship ASAP.
"You can tell us, Megan," I say.
She looks straight up at me and then mutters: "They're just things that she wants to do to Bruce Wayne."
Behind my glasses, my eyes widen. "What things? Steal his money? Poison him? Kidnap his butler and make him wait on her hand and foot? Inject cats with radioactive spider venom?"
Okay, so that last one is a bit of a stretch—blame Wally and his comic collection—but considering this is Gotham, the chances of there being radioactive spider venom is still more likely than any other places.
"Um…Not exactly. Just things."
"Yeah, like what?"
She turns to the others, all of whom have either reddened faces or are looking away. "Guys…a little help?"
"Oh my God, Rob, you're so naïve," Artemis tells me.
My brows furrow and I turn back to Megan. "I don't get it. What was she thinking?" If she's not thinking about killing Batman, or stealing from Bruce Wayne, what could she think about?"
And suddenly, my skills come into play. I mean, I can't tell what it is that she's thinking, but based on Megan's flustered face, I'm assuming she's trying to say something along the lines of: 'if someone doesn't tell this brat what I saw, I'm going to personally send his naïve little mind a screenshot of what will forever pollute my 48 year old mind.'
Gosh, if I wasn't so awesome being Robin already, I could play the role of the team's psychic…I just need a little work on the details. And should I be worried that Megan can totally sound like Artemis sometimes?
Speaking of Arty, she steps into my line of vision with her hands at her hips. "Here, let me. She's thinking about fuc—"
Kaldur clears his throat loudly. "Perhaps a little more subtlety might work in case we run into the unfortunate situation in which Rob's mentor is listening," he tells Artemis, and finally, he addresses me. "Rob, do you remember the afternoon we spent with Roy in Star City two years ago? We came back earlier than expected, and we ran into Oliver and Dinah… on the kitchen table..."
I go through my database of childhood memories.
Ollie and Dinah…Well there was that one time when we stepped in and the moment Wally and I got into the kitchen, Roy and Kaldur covered our eyes and insisted we leave…I did get away from Roy though and…Oh.
Oh.
OH.
NO..
GROSS. WHAT.
The others snicker at my face, but I'm clearly not amused. I'm disamused. Inamused. Unamused. Why isn't unamused considered a word?
"That's what she's thinking about in the middle of the day?!" I exclaim. Even Conner is shaking his head.
"Among other things…" Megan says.
"What other things?"
"Just normal stuff. What colour she should paint her nails, what she's going to make for lunch tomorrow…"
I groan. "Are you sure she wasn't plotting anything? Did you look deep enough?"
"I looked deep enough into her consciousness to know that nothing you're accusing her of is on her mind."
Well there goes that plan. So what if she's not openly thinking about harming Bruce in any way. I still don't trust her. And technically, Megs is still in training. There's still the possibility of her not capturing all of Selina's thoughts.
Suddenly, The Eye of the Tiger is heard and I know –much to my chagrin—just where it's coming from. I fish out my phone and turn on the screen. It's a text from Bruce.
Oh no.
I gulp and I can feel all eyes on me.
Look up.
—B
Shifting my vision towards the familiar building across the street, I could barely make out a figure standing by the window of what I know to be Bruce's office.
"Is something wrong, Rob?" Megan asks.
I sigh.
"We need to go. He knows we're here."
And then all hell breaks loose and I swear I've never seen Wally move this quickly. Black Canary would be proud actually, with how covert and speedy everyone is with getting their sh—stuff together and ducking for cover.
I don't even get a chance to say goodbye to them because Artemis has already escaped back to her apartment and Kaldur is leading Conner and Megan to the nearest zeta tube. I frown and I decide to stop by Wayne Industries anyway because at least I'll get a ride from Bruce and get the lecture over with.
And of course, I'm grounded.
Bruce isn't even in the car for less than a minute before he tells me to go to my room once we get home, and that he's ashamed of what I did. He spends another twenty minutes –blame the city traffic—explaining that I should get used to Selina and start to trust her because Bruce trusts her.
Once we arrive at the manor, it's a full blown argument since he's keeping me from patrol for the rest of the week.
It somehow starts with: "Well it's not like I'm doing much anyway considering how Batman's new partner is Catwoman and not Robin!" and ends with: "If you feel about it that way then you're grounded for two weeks from patrol!"
So here I am, in the confinements of my room with all my electronics taken away and deprived of Alfred's cookies. I can hear Selina downstairs, but Bruce must have told her today's not a good day for her to be here because I can see Alfred drive her home from my window.
Suddenly, I hear a knock, and I know that's Bruce trying to settle our argument. He does it every time.
"Richard," he starts and God, I hate it when he uses that name. Everything's just so serious when he uses it, and it is serious, but the name just makes things so legit. He sits down on the corner of my bed, just a foot or two away from me.
"I don't want you to ever feel like I'm replacing you with Selina."
Tell that to the Gotham Gazette. I'm sure they'd love to reprint their Batman & Catwoman Spotted Together article from last week.
"But you have to understand that what you did today was not right. It was a huge invasion of Selina's privacy. I'm sure you wouldn't want her to send a psychic after you to look at your deepest thoughts."
Ugh, I hate it when he's right.
"Look, Dick, I understand why you don't trust her, but don't you have a bit of faith in me? I can look out for myself and I would never let anyone come close to our family if I knew they would deliberately hurt you or Alfred."
"We just caught her last year though, Bruce," I tell him. "How can she go from Gotham villainess to an innocent civilian in just a few short months?"
"I don't know, but I trust her."
"But how?"
"You'll understand when you're in a relationship, Dick."
I roll my eyes. "I'm thirteen, Bruce. I doubt I'm going to be in one any time soon."
He smiles. "Right. For now, just try to get to know her and you'll see that she's not so bad." He gets up from my bed and walks towards the doorway. Before he leaves, he adds: "Your punishment is still in effect, by the way, but I still want you to be at the mountain tomorrow."
I perk up. "What?"
"There's someone I want you to meet."
Oh no. Not this again.
"She's Giovanni's daughter—he wants her to have some friends who understand her other life as he put it, but you get that. He'll bring her by Happy Harbour tomorrow afternoon."
"Fine. Whatever."
"Oh, and one more thing: her name is Zatanna."
Bruce closes the door and I'm left alone in my room. How odd. My phone, my laptop and iPod were taken away as punishment. But I'm still left with my gauntlet and the name of Zatara's daughter. But didn't Bruce just tell me that what I did was an invasion of Selina's privacy?
Ugh, Bruce, why don't you ever make sense?
Oh well, I'm not going to deny my privileges. I mean, snooping into people's territory is kind of my thing, so I pull up the file I know Bruce has on Giovanni Zatara and find this Zatanna girl's folder.
There's nothing but a photo, which I waste no time opening.
Wow. Um.
She's actually really, really pretty.
Like, really pretty.
I look up at the door again, and back down to the photo of the most beautiful, dark haired girl I've ever seen. And she's my age.
"Damn it," I mutter; thankfully, Alfred's still out or else there'd be a bar of soap in my mouth right about now—the man has Vulcan hearing.
Bruce is trying to get me off Selina's back.
Bruce is trying to distract me with this girl.
Well, old man…The game is on.
Go ahead. Let her try to distract me. I'm not falling for this one.
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And kids, I did end up falling for Zatanna Zatara, but we'll get to that later.
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A/N: And yay! Someone's going to be introduced next chapter ;D
I'm mostly attempting to go by YJ season 1 canon, though mixing a few dates up a bit (ie. instead of something happening in October, I'm going to make it happen in November). Also, I'm trying to tell new stories that go around the actual events in the show, rather than rewriting the episode itself.
Please review!
