Chapter 3: Biscuits anyone?
The first thing to stir Harry out of his apathetic state regarding the death of his godfather was the ringing of the telephone. Normally the phone sat on its decorator table and was as silent and unprepossessing as Harry himself. This was the fourth time the phone rang in the space of an hour. The phone ringing was always the first indication a scandal was brewing in Little Whinging.
Harry wanted to know what was happening, but cleaning the house would not wait. So, he threw a few wandless cleaning charms around the upstairs bathroom and then made his way down the steps to begin cleaning the downstairs water closet where he could more easily eavesdrop on Petunia's conversation.
From what he could gather, there had been a chauffeur driven Bentley at the spa in Greater Whinging earlier in the day and the car was now parked on High Street causing traffic congestion. The old biddies had their knickers in knots because the chauffeur had been seen escorting a black haired lady with a shocking streak of blonde into the tea shop. Harry was immediately intrigued; what was Narcissa Malfoy doing in this neck of the woods?
Petunia hung up the phone and called to Dudley that she would like him to go out with her for a bit. As soon they were out of the house, Harry raced back up the steps and changed into his jogging pants and trainers and took off out the back way. He could cut through the park and down the alley behind Budgen's Supermarket and wind up back on High Street making it look like he had just ran the whole four mile loop around the hamlet.
Narcissa and Draco did the morning spa routine and decided to spend the rest of the day stalking Harry. Or, in the interest of making Harry feel safer about the town he lives in, they decided to take tea on High Street before investigating the quaint little wide spot in the road named Little Whinging.
Narcissa tried for all of five minutes to maintain her exuberance. The tepid tea and Hagridesque biscuits being passed off as consumable was the last insult. She dumpted the tea down the bitchy little waitress'es front then tossed one of the biscuits at the plate glass window. The window breaking was not unexpected…
It was plain old 'Black' luck that Petunia Dursley was walking past just then and wound up being bashed in the back of the head by the biscuit with enough force to cause blunt force trauma. it was also 'Black' luck that Dudley was walking with his mother and stopped to help her back up on her feet. It was of little consequence that he picked up the biscuit, that could have been viewed as an 'attempt at murder' weapon by the legal community, and ate it.
Draco was staring at Dudley in a horrified fashion as the large boy (or small whale?) licked the crumbs from his lips. "YOU actually ate that thing?" He finally managed to articulate.
Dudley blinked several times as he processed the vision of Draco Lucius Malfoy. Unable to identify the species (never mind the sex), he spoke. "Yeah, usually those biscuits are not that soft."
Narcissa shook her head in denial of the incident. "I suppose breaking through a window and still having enough force to cause a concussion would soften it up a bit."
Draco nodded his head in agreement. Then he added another observation that was more of a sad commentary. "Why do they call this place Little Whinging? We have been here all of fifteen minutes and already have the desire to rename the place Big Whinging."
Dudley was trying to be helpful. "Do you mean Greater Whinging? It is about six kilometers down the road that way." He pointed toward a sign that indicated the turnoff for Huntington (incorporated 1266). All this time Dudley had been standing in place and holding his mother steady while she tried to regain her equilibrium.
Petunia was finally regaining her faculties, and realized that the blonde-striped lady and the androgynous teen with her were not regulars in town. At least Petunia had that impression as the bobby tried to get the lady to admit culpability for damages to the shop.
The bobby was just about to call for back up when the object of the Malfoy search-and-molest mission showed up. Harry appeared to have been jogging around the block (one of those farm blocks that estimated about four miles around) when he spotted trouble.
He headed over to where Petunia was still clinging to the rail that guided people into the walking trail with one hand while the other was firmly clenched onto Dudley's arm. "Aunt Petunia, are you going to be alright?"He managed to say before Petunia crumpled neatly into his extended arms.
Narcissa tucked her wand back into her sleeve. "Oh, Lord Potter, we were just looking for you."
Harry was having a difficult time keeping Petunia from connecting with the ground a second time and could not answer her straight away. "Dudley, a little help here!" He managed sharply before adding in a softer tone of voice, "You mother may need to visit the surgery."
Dudley's head spun back around to fixate on his mother from where he had been staring at Draco. He had finally figured out that the androgynous creature was a male. Interestingly enough, it seemed to be a male who was inclined toward favoring Harry Potter with his charms. "What?"
"Your mum. The Doctors surgery. Now!" Harry's decisive tone cut through the rest of the confusion Dudley was experiencing.
"Oh, Yeah." Before Narcissa could suggest the use of her car to take the woman home, Dudley plucked Petunia out of Harry's shaking arms and headed across the street to the Doctor's surgery.
Draco turned guileless blue-grey eyes to Harry. "Do you suppose that woman will be OK?"
Harry watched Dudley carry his mother across the street and in the door that was being held open by a helpful receptionist before turning to the Malfoys. "Yeah, she probably did not eat again and most likely passed out from low blood sugar."
Not haveing seen the biscuit turned rogue bludger attack Petunia, the bobby could only agree with that statement. Mrs. Dursley did look like a dedicated dieter. There was, however, still the issue of the window. He had turned back to the blonde-streaked lady and gently cleared his throat when he was interrupted by Harry finally acknowledging her.
"Cousin Narcissa!" Harry smiled pleasantly at the beautiful woman and bent to kiss the back of her hand before adding, "What brings Lady Malfoy and her dearest child to the fair town of Little Whinging?"
She smirked, "Draco could not mange another day without you."
Harry's face morphed into the 'what the hell did you just say' look before articulating, "Huh?"
The bobby used that bit of confusion to reenter the conversation. "Now! About this window…"
Draco rolled his eyes and huffed before opening his clutch purse. "Here!" He said rather sharply. "Fix the window and keep the change!"
The bobby looked at the blond boy/thing and then to the shop keeper who was reaching for the fifty quid note. "Is this alright with you?" He asked the proprietor.
The shop keeper nodded happily that it was fine. Mainly because the glass cutter at the hardware store was her husband and he would give her the glass at cost, install the piece for her, and she would keep all the lovely extra.
Harry seemed to be working on auto pilot as he reached down and picked up Aunt Petunia's dropped shopping. He took a casual peek inside to make a educated guess of what the woman had been nutty enough to purchase while out gathering information for the gossip mill.
Narcissa stepped closer. "Harry, do you think that it would be acceptable if Draco and I were to return to your house with you and wait to see if your aunt will make a full recovery from this horrible ordeal?"
Green eyes glared at the beautiful woman. She saw the fear and anger in his body stance. "It's just that I feel somewhat responsible for your aunt. It was a bit of a mistake for me to fling the biscuit while I was feeling displeased regarding the tea serice."
Draco edged closer to Harry (meaning he became plastered to his side rather than beside him) and asked, "Mummy and I would be ever so pleased to make amends."
Harry gave a full body twitch as he stepped away from the aspiring rapist. "Aunt Pet is a trooper. Doc will have her up and right as rain in no time. Now don't you two worry your pretty little heads about her any further." He nodded his head as if being decisive would actually fix things.
The whole incident was about to end amicably except Fate was not finished with using Harry as the toilet brush. A gang of adolescent girls happened to notice that a blond god/goddess-like creature was trying to make moves on a local boy. Not just any boy either; their local bady-boy and teenage heartthrob. Quidditch robes be damned- a shirtless Harry Potter in jogging pants was a rather attractive sight. Another attractive bit about him was the fact that the older lady had called him Lord Potter. Now what kind of socially responsible, hot blooded female is going to let a veritable god walk off with a complete stranger when he could stay right where he is and share the wealth with her?
Draco saw the bitches move closer. He knew the scenario. It seemed to be an unwritten rule: The first bloody second a girl/guy shows a little bit of interest in a guy at least four bints had to show up and make a play for him also.
He stepped closer to Harry, wrapped a perfectly manicured hand around the hot sweaty arm that seemed to be pushing him away rather than pulling him closer, and he hissed at them.
The girls all giggled and turned away as Harry panicked and broke free from the veela. Without making his apologies to Narcissa, he whirled around and dashed straight home.
Draco raised his head in the air and gave the lot of them disdainful looks. After tossing his platinum locks over his shoulder he turned back to his mother and said, "Did you hear that Mummy? Harry said I'm pretty."
The elder Malfoy watched the street that the black haired man had disappeared down and gave a quiet sigh of frustration. She was rarely wrong; this was going to be a very long campaign…
