Fallin' For You- Colbie Caillat
Rated T
I don't know, but I think I may be falling for you
Droppin' so quickly, maybe I should keep this to myself
Wait until I know you better
I am tryin' not to tell you, but I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hidin' what I'm feelin'
But I'm tired of holdin' this inside my head
I've been spendin' all my time just thinking 'bout you
I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waitin' all my life, and now I found you
I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
The sun was shining brightly through the window and directly into Emma's face. Instead of feeling unpleasant, it warmed her and made her smile. She tried to stretch out, but as she moved, she felt something under her.
She opened her eyes, and tried not to react when she realized that she had just spent the night using Captain Hook as a human pillow. Her head was snuggled closely against his chest and his hand was nestled in her hair. Her eyes widened in shock. This was bad. This was really bad. She'd just spent the night with Hook. Not only that, but waking up with him felt good.
It's not like she and Hook had never had sex before. Lately, it seemed as though they'd been getting together nightly, but it was never anything more than that. They'd do their thing, and as soon as it was finished, they parted ways. Admittedly, it was getting harder and harder for her to let him go, and she knew that something was happening. Namely, love. Or something else equally disastrous. She was starting to get feelings for Hook, and as badly as she wanted to stay with him, she knew that she could never force him to feel the same way.
She figured that she could always think about it later. Or not. Probably not. Right now, there was only one thought on her mind: getting the hell out of there. She turned away from him, moving ever so slowly away from his side. She sat up and located each article of her clothing with her eyes before getting up to put them on. When she was fully dressed, she turned to leave, only to be stopped by his voice.
"Going so soon?" He sounded groggy and tired, and she wanted nothing more than to jump back into his bed.
"Uh, yeah. See you later." She tried to sound nonchalant, but knew she'd failed miserably.
"You know, Swan, you don't have to go yet." She froze as her imagination started to run wild. Could he tell that he had feelings for him? Maybe he did feel the same way about her. Maybe they could actually have something real.
He got up, leaning on his elbow as his eyes looked her up and down. "We could always go another round, if you prefer." She turned to look at him, rolling her eyes.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I've gotta get going." She felt relieved that for once he didn't see right through her. But she also felt something else that she couldn't describe. And it didn't feel good.
Hook gave a noncommittal shrug and leaned back in the bed. He put his arms behind his head as the sheets started to ride dangerously low on his hips. "Whatever you say. Will I see you again tonight?"
Emma didn't know how to answer him. She definitely wanted to see him, but for completely different reasons than he wanted to see her. She could feel his eyes on her as she stared at the wall, trying to think of what to say. "Uh, yeah. Why not?"
"Something wrong, Swan?" She turned to see him eying her with a somewhat nonplussed expression.
She gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Nope. See you later, Hook." She didn't wait for him to respond, instead turning completely away from him and exiting his cabin.
She hadn't the slightest idea of what time it was, but she knew that she desperately needed to get home and change for work.
Emma opened the door to her apartment and leaned against it after closing it, allowing her legs to give out as she slid down to the floor. She had been sitting with her forehead pressed to her knees for a few moments when she heard the shuffling of footsteps coming toward her. She whipped her head up to see who was intruding in her apartment.
Mary Margaret stopped in her tracks and smiled feebly when Emma met her gaze.
Emma gave an incredulous look as she picked herself up from the floor. "Mary Margaret, what are you doing here?"
Mary Margaret gave an innocent shrug before walking into the kitchen. She put the kettle on the stove before getting a mug from the cupboard. "Actually, Emma, I've been here since last night."
Emma furrowed her brow, certain that she'd just heard her mother wrong. "You what?"
"Oh settle down, honey." Mary Margaret dismissed her with a wave. "I came by around 10:00, since Henry asked me to run out and get his storybook."
Emma nodded, registering the fact that her parents had asked to watch the boy for a night. "Okay. And how did that turn into you spending the night here?"
Mary Margaret looked up from the mug of hot chocolate that she was stirring. "Oh. Right. Well, I decided that since I was here, I may as well wait and say a quick hello to you. I ended up waiting for hours before I eventually fell asleep." She finished her statement as she squirted an aerosol can of whipped cream into her mug. She lightly dusted cinnamon over the top before handing the mug to Emma.
Emma knitted her brow again. "What's this for?" She asked, taking the mug from her mother's hand.
Mary Margaret smiled warmly. "Judging by the way that you were slumped against that door when I found you, I'd guess you could use it."
Emma smiled weakly as she dipped her finger into the whipped cream before bringing it to her tongue and licking it clean. "Thanks, Mary Margaret." She sighed as she sat at the kitchen table, resting her head in her hand.
Mary Margaret followed her over, taking the seat across from her and placing a reassuring hand over one of hers. "What's the matter, Emma? What kept you out all night?"
The way that Emma's cheeks reddened told Mary Margaret exactly what she needed to know. She raised her eyebrows as her mouth fell open. "Oh. I see."
Emma groaned and tucked her bangs behind her ear. She needed to talk to someone about her problem, and since there was nobody else around, Mary Margaret would have to do. "I've been sleeping with Hook." The words fell from her mouth before she could stop them.
Emma cringed waiting for some sort of outburst from her mother. When it didn't come, she met Mary Margaret's gaze to find her mother looking at her somewhat blankly. "Okay... and?"
Emma cocked her head to the side. "And what?"
Mary Margaret looked at Emma. "Honey, as much as I would like to believe that you're looking for my approval or something, you're an adult. The only reason you'd be telling me this is because something is wrong." She paused, looking at Emma warily. "Emma, honey, are you pregnant?"
Emma choked on the hot chocolate that she was drinking and set the mug down firmly before she could drop it. "What? No! Of course not!"
Mary Margaret looked confused now. "Then what's the matter?"
Emma shook her head. "I think..." She hesitated, not quite ready to say the words out loud. "I think I may be falling in love with Hook." She focused her eyes on the mug in front of her, not wanting to see the disapproving look she was sure would be on her mother's face.
After a few moments of silence, Emma heard Mary Margaret's laughter fill the room. "Mary Margaret, what is so funny?" Emma asked, feeling suddenly self-consious.
"Emma, you! You're falling in love! That's wonderful!" Mary Margaret beamed, looking at her daughter with cheerful and bright eyes. "Have you told him yet?"
Emma cringed at the thought. "No. Of course not. I don't think I ever will."
The smile fell away from her mother's face and it was replaced by a bewildered expression. "What? Why not?"
Emma sighed and tucked her bangs behind her ear again. "Because, Mary Margaret." She hesitated yet again, feeling somewhat uncomfortable about discussing her sex life with her mother. "We've been sleeping together for a few... months now." She held up her hand to stop Mary Margaret from asking any questions. "It wasn't a big deal at first, we'd meet up maybe once a week for an hour or so and that was it. But recently, it's become more and more frequent. I've seen him every night this week. Somewhere along the way, I started to develop feelings for him. I have no idea how it happened, but they're here. And they're real. The realization kind of hit me like a ton of bricks this morning."
Mary Margaret finally spoke up now, raising an eyebrow. "This morning?"
"I accidentally spent the night in his bed. When I woke up, I felt so content and whole." She shook her head, feeling somewhat embarrassed for sharing all of this. "And when I went to leave, he stopped me—"
"Oh, good!" Mary Margaret interrupted. "What did he say?"
"No, not good. He offered me another round, if you know what I mean."
Mary Margaret's cheeks flushed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Emma."
"No, don't be. If anything that was exactly what I needed him to say. I needed him to give me a reminder that what he have is just physical. He feels nothing more than that for me, and that is all that I should be feeling for him."
Mary Margaret got up from the table and move to sit in the chair by Emma's side. "Oh, Emma." She sighed, taking her daughter's hand in hers. "I love you, but you're wrong."
Emma gave her mother and incredulous look. "How so?"
Mary Margaret smiled sweetly. "Honey, what you feel may be confusing, but it's real, just like you said. You shouldn't feel the need to repress your feelings because you've convinced yourself that they aren't right. You need to open up and tell him how you feel."
Emma sighed, finally willing to speak openly. "Mary Margaret, I can't do that. What if he doesn't feel the same way?"
"Then at least you'll know." Mary Margaret rose from the table, giving Emma a kiss on the top of her head. "I better get home now. You father and I promised Henry that we'd take him to Granny's before school. Wanna come?"
Emma shook her head weakly. "You go ahead. Give him a kiss for me?"
"I will!" Mary Margaret put on her coat and hat before turning back to Emma. "Tell him, Emma. You won't regret it."
Emma tried to focus on her work, but her conversation with Mary Margaret kept ringing through her head.
When she finally got a break for lunch, she left the sheriff's station in the direction of the docks, determined to release her mind from its misery.
She finally approached the Jolly Roger, she took a deep breath before walking across the deck and down to the captain's quarters. She knocked on the door and waited for him to open it.
She was greeted by the sight of Hook, shirtless, looking at her with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Swan." He looked her over with a raised eyebrow. "I wasn't expecting you until sundown, but I have a little time now if you do..." He reached his hook out for her, drawing her into the room by her belt loops and closing the door behind them.
When he moved in to kiss her, Emma put her hand on his chest. "Wait, Hook. That's not why I'm here."
Hook raised an eyebrow at her before releasing her belt loops and taking a minimal step away from her. "Is that so?"
Emma sighed, tucking her bangs behind her ear. "Yes. I have something to say to you, and I know that if I don't let it out now, I will never say it. So, sit down and shut up."
Hook narrowed his eyes at her before shrugging and taking a seat at the desk in the corner of the room. "Then, by all means, don't let me stop you."
She waited for him to sit before she sighed heavily. "Hook, I'm in love with you." She let her words hang in the air for a little bit before she spoke up again. "I know that you probably don't feel the same, and that we've only been having sex, but somehow I've developed these feelings for you, and I had to let them out before they ate me alive."
Hook's expression was serious and he rubbed his hand over his face before looking her in the eye. "Emma, I—"
"No, I know, Hook." She cut him off. "You don't have to say it. You aren't interested. I can't say that I'm not hurt, but it wasn't anything that I wasn't expecting."
"Emma, that's not—"
"I said, you don't have to explain. I understand, I just had to get this off of my chest, and now that I have, I can let myself out."
Emma tried to hurry out of the room, but was stopped by his hand, gripping her elbow. "Would you please hold on a minute, Emma?"
She jerked her elbow out of his grip, sighing loudly. "What for?"
"So that I can tell you that I love you, too."
Emma was taken aback. She felt like someone had punched her in the gut, knocking the air from her lungs. "You do?"
Hook smiled, taking her face in his hand and hook. "Of course I do. How else do you think I was able to put up with you all these months?" He joked, kissing her on the nose. "I love you, Emma, but I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want you to run away, so I waited, hoping that you'd realize your feelings on your own."
She wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in his chest, suddenly reminded that he wasn't wearing a shirt. He used his hand to lift her chin, looking her in the eyes. "Gods, Emma, I love you."
She could feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes as she pressed her lips to his. She broke the kiss and hugged his body to hers. For the first time in years, she felt safe, she felt loved, and she felt secure enough to look him in the eye and say: "I love you, too."
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