I'M. FUCKING. BACK.

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO

Sorry for the long wait on this one guys, but I've had a lot going on right now and a whole bunch of other stories that I'm working on at the moment. You should go check them out if you enjoyed this one. They are mostly in the same vein as this: humorous, porn-y, and awesome.

I kid, I kid.

Well, I hope you guys and gals enjoy! See you all on the next update!

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This wasn't what Jack had planned.

They were just supposed to sit back on the quarian's bed, relax and watch Jack's collection of porn vids with a few educational anatomy clips thrown in. Jack had only intended to expose the sweet little quarian to the vast expanse of hedonism and depravity that was the galaxy's extranet, not pin the poor girl down and start licking away.

It was only around the time that the mismatched pair had reached the vid featuring burly human male rail way at a purple asari's tight rump that thoughts of carnal nature entered the convict's mind.

With a glance to her side, Jack was met with the sight of Tali squirming in her seat, thighs rubbing together ever so noticeably and her need for intimate touch quite obvious. That, combined with the lovely sound of some asari bitch moaning loudly as a human dick pounded her ass, was enough to push Jack beyond the edge of reason.

The tattooed girl could not stop herself from pouncing upon the unsuspecting quarian, groping and kneading any part of her that she could get her hands on. It came as a surprise that Tali put up no resistance whatsoever. Apparently the bucket was turned on as much as Jack was, turned on enough to not give a single damn when her pretty mask came off with a hiss and Jack pressed their lips together in a ferocious kiss.

Wet, worm tongues dueled, slithering over and around each other within their mouths. Lips moved together, slurping and smacking, leaving the two breathless when they finally broke apart.

Tali looked dazed, her silver, glowing eyes hazy and unfocused. Jack took pride in that.

Wasting no time, Jack's hands were on Tali again, pulling the purple hood down to let her dark, curly locks come tumbling free around her slender shoulders.

For having been kept under a helmet for such a long time, Jack had to admit with a touch of envy, the quarian's hair was rather nice.

Next to come off was the suit, a task Jack thought better suited to an expert navigator or locksmith. The biotic got through only three straps along Tali's chest before her frustration got the better of her and she began peeling the suit away, roughly pulling the leathery material down to expose sensitive, purple quarian skin.

Full, supple breasts fell free after a sharp tug from Jack, the nipples pebbling at the contact with the room's cool air.

They were larger than expected, Jack noted before one of the lovely round globes found their way into one of her eager hands.

So soft…

Jack squeezed gently, running her thumb over the nipple, drawing a quiet moan from the engineer. Tali brought her own hand up, placing it over Jack's in response, the girl's eyes fluttering from the sensation.

The quarian and the convict met each others' gaze and Jack could see the passion in Tali's eyes, a fire that was consuming her.

No going back now, I guess…

Jack's head darted forward, her mouth finding its way to the unattended quarian breast, and wrapped her cherry-red lips around the nipple. Tali gasped, an adorable little sound, holding an expression of both bliss and disbelief. Then Jack ran her tongue across the sensitive bud and the quarian could barely contain her squeal.

The rest was lost the sound of pleasured moans and whimpers, labored breaths, roaming hands and grinding bodies.

The rest of Tali's suit did not last very long, not with Jack on the attack. The convict tossed the black and purple outfit into a corner, brusquely ordering EDI to seal the room and sanitize the air before kissing and nipping her way down her quarian captive's toned, flat tummy. All the while, sweet, innocent Tali could not find it in her to form coherent words, mumbling into her pillow with a delirious smile on her thin face.

Lower and lower, Jack traveled, running her tongue over Tali's cute little belly-button before coming across her prize. With her legs spread wide, Tali was completely exposed to Jack, her glistening, wet petals begging for contact. The convict stared, mesmerized, her hands cupping the quarian's ass, holding the girl's hips to her face like a bowl.

The scent was simply intoxicating.

Tali whined, her little hands clutching at the bed sheets, balled into fists. Her curvy hips bucked upwards in a vain attempt to get them to meet Jack's lips.

The bald woman gave her captive a devilish smile and, after a moment's pause, dipped her head down between the quarian girl's legs.

"Oooh! Keelah, yes! Do-oh-n't stop! Don't y-you dare!"

Tali quickly devolved into a string of vulgar quarian profanities as Jack feasted upon her aching, wet cunt with glee, the human's tongue slipping between her slick, velvet petals and tasting her sweet honey.

Jack silently thanked whatever deities were out there for the delicious flavor that graced her tongue, lapping up whatever flowed from the quarian's tight cunt. The convict's tongue massaged Tali's tight, inner walls, swirling between the girl's swollen lips. Meanwhile, the quarian thrashed about beneath Jack, moaning and whimpering as Jack mercilessly lapped at her.

It only took a few more moments before the writhing engineer finally came undone, cursing loudly in khelish and bucking her hips wildly against Jack's head as her release flowed free. The human biotic remained latched onto the girl's quivering pussy, drinking up the copious liquid heat with earnest, dutifully catching all that she could with her agile tongue.

Soon enough, Tali settled, the tension that had been building up in the pit of her gut now releasing in a wondrous feeling of ecstasy, her body going slack against the now-stained mattress. The quarian sighed in content.

A moment later, Jack released the aching cunt from her mouth, giving the ravaged mound one last, playful kiss before crawling her way back up her captive's body. The convict's lips and chin were soaked with Tali's sweet juices, but that did not stop Jack from pressing her mouth to hers and slipping her tongue into the girl's mouth.

Tali could taste herself on Jack's tongue and lips, a fact that drew a muffled moan from the engineer, if only for the vulgarity of such an act. To taste oneself in such a way was unthinkable in quarian culture.

The pair broke apart, breathless, their bodies heated and sweaty.

For a moment it was calm and it seemed that Tali could simply bask in the afterglow…

…Then Jack flipped her over and buried her face between her legs once more.

Tali shivered, woefully unable to keep a quivering moan from escaping her lips as Jack lapped mercilessly at her most intimate flesh with her wet, human tongue. A small hand smacked the quarian's plump rear, her soft rump jiggling in response to the blow. Tali squeaked loudly, gripping the bed sheets tighter, the fabric balling with her tiny fists. This got a laugh out of the convict; Jack's voice muffled with her face pressed between Tali's spread legs.

With one hand on the quarian's back and the other gripping a handful of ass, Jack licked and licked with reckless abandon, the warbled moans and whimpers filling the air music to her ear.

"B-bosh'tet! Y-yo-oo-ou B-bosh't-tet!" Tali gasped as Jack ran her wonderfully agile tongue up, between the engineer's ass-cheeks, wetting the puckered hole that resided there.

Feeling Tali squirm at the new sensation, Jack's mind suddenly spawned an idea. As an evil smile spread across the tattooed woman's face, she brought her other hand down to the quarian girl's magnificent rear. Now, each cheek was palmed and played with, Jack's hands kneading and slapping Tali's near-perfect butt with a hungry look in her eyes before spreading it open.

Tali was now completely on display, her slick cunt and tight, puckered hole exposed to the hungry female convict, who stared at her meal with a devilish look in her eyes.

Before Jack was a coveted hole, un-breached, un-violated.

Oh, yes. This will be fun…

Tali could sense that something was amiss, even without seeing the mischievous look on her human captor's face. The lithe qaurian squirmed and fidgeted, but was unable to break free of the convict's iron grip.

"No! Nonononono! Don't! Don't you dare! Do-ooh-ooooh!"

Jack ignored her prey's pleas and begun her assault with depraved glee, licking and prodding at the quarian's tight, puckered ass, sliding her tongue between soft, plump ass-cheeks as her hands gripped and kneaded them, violating the quarian girl.

"Kee-eeh-lah! D-don't… Don't stop!"

Jack hummed between the engineer's butt-cheeks, happily obliging the girl, the quarian writhed and moaned, bucking her lovely curved hips against the convict's oral ministrations, cursing in her native khelish as the human's tongue finally managed to relax her puckered hole and slither up into her hot, tight ass.

Jack could not help but feel more than a little satisfaction as realization hit her: She had won. Little, virginal bucket-head was now putty in her hands, crying out like a cheap Omega whore as Jack ate out her warm, tight –and surprisingly clean- asshole.

For hours they fucked, the two women licking and grinding and fucking until they were both utterly spent. When it was over and both were barely able to move, they lay there, in Tali's stained bed, panting and aching from the exertion of their activities, their thighs slick and sensitive. The whole room was filled with the scent of fucking.

Jack thought it had been a good day.

Just as she was about to let sleep claim her, the bald biotic heard Tali speak up.

"H-how were you able to… ah… ingest?"

"Hmm?" Jack mumbled.

"Y-you ingested my… um… fluids when I… I…"

"…Came on my face?"

"…Right. When I, uh… did that…" Tali bit her lip, "How are you not going into shock right now?"

Jack's response was to reach over the edge of the bed, to the floor, and produce a bottle of colorless liquid, dropping the small container in Tali's lap.

"Asari concoction I bought. Blue bitches may act all high and superior but they prepare for sex like no one else. That right there let's humans ingest dextro stuff without any risk, helps us break down the proteins. It where's off in an hour or two, though."

Tali looked shocked.

"You… prepared for this?"

"Hell, yeah! Well, I didn't plan this specifically, but I made sure that I'm ready for any occasion. I bought some for you, too."

Tali blinked.

"You bought some for me? But why-?"

Jacked turned over, placing herself atop Tali, trapping the quarian under her weight, their faces mere inches apart from each other.

"If I didn't get you any, how would you be able to swallow when Shepard cums inside your mouth?"

For emphasis, Jack gave the quarian a quick kiss, slipping her tongue passed the girl's lips before she could respond.

"M-my mouth?" Tali whispered, breathless when Jack pulled away to plant kisses down her neck.

"Oh, yeah. He's going to claim all of your holes. First, your pretty little mouth…"

Jack's hands moved down to the mound between her legs, stroking her moist petals…

"…Then, your wet cunt…"

…Then around to grasp an ass-cheek.

"…And finally, your tight ass. He's going to fuck every inch of you. There won't be a single part of this hot little body that won't be his when he's through with you. How does that sound, bucket?"

Tali could only shudder in excitement. She was growing wet at the mere thought of it, aching for her captain's touch.

Jack chuckled as she buried her face into the crook of Tali's neck.

"Just picture it, princess: the Commander's hand running through your soft hair as you suck on that thick cock of his, forcing all that human meat deep down your throat. I wonder if you'll be able to take all of it. I could."

Tali squirmed as two of the convict's fingers found their way inside her and began to explore. Jack continued speaking.

"And while he's thrusting into your mouth, enjoying that soft, wet tongue of yours, I'll be going down, tasting your sweet, little cunt and making you moan into Shepard's throbbing prick. I'll bet he'll just love that."

"A-and then…?"

Jack could only smile at that.

Victory…

"Then he's going to cum in your hot little mouth and you'll cum in mine," Jack brought her lips to Tali's ear. "And when I swallow, so will you. Gulp it all down."

Jack pulled her fingers from Tali's pussy and flopped next to her on the bed, leaving the once innocent engineer a mewling mess.

"And don't forget all those Cerberus upgrades Boyscout has. Fuck, I think that even after fucking you oh so thoroughly, he'll still have enough left in him to do it all over again with the both of us."

Jack sighed dreamily at the thought, something Tali hadn't witnessed before. To the quarian, the sight of Jack flustered was surprising, even after all that had happened.

"The Lion of Elysium has got his own little harem now. A Lion and his pride…" Jack mused, before rolling on her side to face Tali again.

"We're definitely going to have some fun, bucket-head. Just you wait."