Goodness. Sorry I've been so preoccupied my lovelies. Thank you for your patience. And here we go! OH MY GOD THE NEXT SEASON HAS STARTED I AM DYING. Also, strong suggestion, listen to the song Maneater by Blue Eyed Blondes. If you've never heard it, it will change your life. Never been so proud to have this as the name of my Hannibal fanfic ever cause holy Jesus dicks.


I had made sure to set an alarm for the next morning. The sound of it blaring through my music was slow to wake me, but eventually had me rolling over to swat at it in the darkness. I groaned and flopped back on the pillows with a sigh, dragging my hands down my face. It was a chore to force myself out of bed and into the shower, dressing myself in a pair of denim shorts, a burgundy pullover sweatshirt, and some black combat boots. I shoved everything back into my bags and packed up my car before checking out. I secured a scarf around my neck to block the chill in the air, shivering while I waited for my car to warm up. I sat on my cold hands and leaned against my steering wheel, trying to calm my breathing. The thought alone of driving back to my house was enough to make my eyes brim with tears.

I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes, throwing my car in drive. I scowled out the windshield, stopping to get a coffee on my way to the hospital. I wanted to see Abigail one last time before leaving town. I was relieved to see that her hospital room was empty. I wasn't sure that I could handle another encounter with Dr. Lecter before my long drive home. She looked peaceful. The color was returning to her face. I touched her hand, smiling tensely.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I had no idea…" I laughed hoarsely and shook my head. "Not that I would've been able to help you if I had known, I suppose."

The alarm on my phone went off, signaling that it was time for me to get on the road. I sighed and pursed my lips, closing my eyes for a few seconds to gather my thoughts. I retrieved my worn down copy of The Hobbit from my bag and set it on the table beside the vase of flowers I had brought her. I nodded firmly and gave her hand a squeeze.

"I'll see you when you wake up."

The drive home was much more grueling than I could have imagined. I blasted music, singing at the top of my lungs to distract myself. Half of my time was spent in panicked tears, the remaining half longing for the comfort and safety of my bedroom. By the time I pulled into my driveway my head was pounding, my eyes swollen and puffy. The tears had dried up, it seemed, though a dull ache in my chest remained. Kayri's car was there and I felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude to see that Jay's car was not. I sat at length, gathering my energy and will to move. I finally shut off my car and started gathering my suitcases. After several minutes of fumbling with the keys at the front door and swearing under my breath, I was standing in my living room. The house was quiet, relatively clean compared to states I had seen it in before. I shuffled through the kitchen and down the hall to my room. I dropped my bags on the floor, not even willing to consider the idea of unpacking.

Doctor was curled up on my bed sleeping soundly – at least he was. He stretched now, trilling as he climbed to the end of my mattress to greet me. I smiled and scratched him behind the ears. I kicked off my shoes and shut the door behind me, crawling onto my bed and under the covers. I turned on some music, as well as my bedside lamp. Doctor walked all over me, purring his affections in my ear and rubbing against my hands. I stared at the wall, grateful, too, for the heavy curtains over my windows blocking out the obnoxiously bright light of day. Having lost all sense of time, I wasn't certain how long I had been like that when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called out.

Kayri opened the door, eyes searching until she found me buried beneath my blankets. She flopped down on my bed with a sigh.

"You're back early," she said cautiously. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

I clutched my pillow, picking at the seams.

"I saw a woman die," I said quietly.

There was a pregnant pause. "Are you fucking kidding?"

"It was the mother of a girl I used to babysit when I was young. She died right in my arms and there was nothing I could do to help her."

"Holy shit. What happened?"

I hugged my pillow tighter, eyes wide. I could see Mrs. Hobbs staggering toward me, blood gushing from the gaping wound on her throat. I could see the fear in Abigail's eyes as she gazed up at me, feeling the icy grip of death upon her.

"Her husband – he cut her throat. They managed to save Abigail, but she's in a coma. I don't know that she'll wake up. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. I'll never get the scent of it off my skin."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Keeran. Oh my God. Are you okay? I mean… Shit…"

I felt the weight of her hand on my leg in what I imagine was meant to be a comforting gesture. I nodded, focusing on the color of my wall to drown out the screaming in my head. I repeated the same answer I had given Dr. Lecter.

"I'll be fine. I'm just really tired."

I could sense her eyes burning into me, filled with sympathy. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll be leaving for work soon, but you can call or text me."

I nodded again. "I will. Thank you."

She patted my leg and left me by myself, closing the door behind her. I turned off my music and turned on my TV instead. The Hobbit was still in the Bluray player from the last time I had watched it. The familiarity of it brought me a sense of comfort it seemed nothing else could. I sighed and hugged my pillow, listening to the narration. Doctor curled himself around my head, his pleased purring continuing as I rubbed his stomach.


I walked trough a lush forest, following a pebbled path. Something about it seemed familiar, though it wasn't the trail I was used to jogging. Everything was relatively silent – no birdsong, no insects. There was only a breeze whispering through the treetops and the crunching of my footsteps. An increasing sense of dread encased me the deeper into the forest I ventured. My body tensed, trying to find something to focus on other than my stressed breathing. My eyes darted about, searching the dimly lit trees. The hushed wind sounded like voices whispering back and forth, calling out to me. I looked over my shoulder. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled. The direction from which I had come was slowly being swallowed by darkness – a darkness that twisted the trees into dry, lifeless branches, gnarled and stretching claws toward the gloomy sky.

I backed away, turning to run down the path. I stumbled, barely catching myself. My heart throbbed painfully in my throat. I was definitely hearing voices. Shadows darted through the trees, inconspicuous shapes my eyes couldn't hope to follow. I came across a rundown wooden bridge. Gasping for air, I spun around, grappling for the railing. The darkness closing in around me stopped, lingering at its edges. I flinched back, stepping to the center of the bridge. The rotting wood creaked beneath me as I moved. I peered over the ledge at the cold water running beneath, scanning for the shadow and the voices in the trees. I turned to continue on and gasped, clutching my heart. Abigail stood blocking my path.

I laughed with relief, stepping toward her. She smiled. I caught sight of the shadows lingering at her shoulders. They had no discernable shape, but I got the distinct impression they were men – which confused me. I reached out to her to ask her to step away. Something in her eyes, the way she looked at me, made me hesitate. It was like… she thought I didn't understand. Understand what, precisely, I wasn't certain. Her throat split open, blood pouring down her sweater, down her pale hands clasped neatly in front of her. Her smile never faltered. The shadow at her left side had disappeared. The one at her right stepped around her now, crossing to stand between us. It loomed over me, the whispers of the forest growing louder, bearing down on me. I couldn't focus on the words. Everything blended together. It didn't matter. My eyes were glued to the figure before me, my breath caught somewhere between my lungs and a scream.

I looked down at the growing sensation of dampness. Blood was flooding the forest, thrashing over the bridge. It splashed across Abigail in waves, lapped at the hem of the skirt at her knees. The shadow wrapped its arms around me from behind, pinning my arms to my chest. I thrashed, eyes wide with fear. A hand very tenderly rested on my forehead, restraining my movements further. With blood up to my chest, I was gasping for air.

"You are safe," a smooth, recognizable voice said in my ear. "This sense of danger will pass."

Finally finding my voice, I screamed and screamed until the thick, red liquid swallowed me into the pitch.


I woke up to someone shouting my name and shaking me violently. I was breathing heavily, still in the midst of kicking. Kayri was holding me down, a worried expression on her face. I whimpered, hiding my face in my hands. I felt like I was going to be sick. I looked around my room, struggling to gather my senses. Doctor was perched atop my bookcase, his lamp-like eyes gazing at me in alarm.

"What the hell?" Kayri asked. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and croaked, "I'm fine. I was… It was just a nightmare."

"More like night terrors. You were flailing around and I could hear you screaming when I pulled up."

I breathed out slowly, dragging a hand across my forehead. My face was covered with a thin veil of sweat. I grimaced and sighed, reaching to my nightstand for a pen and my dream journal. I started writing it all down before the details slipped away from me. Kayri stood watching warily.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked, moving to sit down next to me.

I knew she was just trying to be helpful. I offered her a smile. Judging from the crease between her eyebrows and the look of disbelief, it was about as convincing as I felt it to be. She exhaled sharply through her nose and rubbed her temples, clearly at a loss.

"Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and go to bed then. Really, don't hesitate to wake me up if you need anything."

I nodded and smiled more earnestly. "Goodnight."

Once the door closed behind her, Doctor climbed down to join me on the bed. I allowed him to curl up in my lap while I finished writing, the words I had heard so clearly flashing through my mind. I didn't know why I'd envisioned Dr. Lecter's voice in the midst of such a strangely terrifying dream. Perhaps because he was something new, and I hadn't quite managed to figure him out yet. Maybe it was just coincidence. Whatever the reason, I decided I could overlook it, if only for now.


By the end of the week I was a wreck. Every time I slept I had nightmares of a similar fashion – a forest, a field, a wooded path, a creek bed. They always involved Abigail and the same shadowy figures, the voices whispering unintelligible words, a flood or rain of blood. Sometimes I would even see her father. The result was always the same. I woke up in a sheen of sweat, kicking and screaming. I'd never had a very sound sleep schedule, but now I was trying to avoid it at all costs. I stayed up until sunrise, until I couldn't possibly keep my eyes open any longer and I passed out due to sheer exhaustion. I hardly ate when I managed to remember. It wasn't until I was sorting through one of my suitcases that I came across the business card Dr. Lecter had given me.

I turned it over a few times, staring at it for a long while. If ever there was a time to call a therapist, now was probably the time. Even I could tell that I was slipping and I hadn't even been back to work yet. I sighed and nestled myself back amongst my pillows, getting comfortable. Doctor seated himself beside my legs, stretching out with a squeak. I picked up my phone, put it down with an annoyed huff, and picked it up again a few minutes later. With a heavy sigh, I typed in the number printed on the front of the card, my thumb hovering over the call button.