WOW IM SORRY FOR HOW GODDAMN LONG IT TOOK TO UPDATE THIS FUCKING FIC
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"I understand that it's frustrating, but when we discussed this previously you gave me no indication that it bothered you." Erwin's voice was low, calm. Like it always was. It was almost infuriating, Levi thought, the way it never raised or cracked.
"That was before you told me you were going to be fucking my wife!" Auruo, however, had no problem raising his voice. In fact, he made it quite apparent that he was upset, going so far as to slam his fist on the kitchen table.
"I'm not going to be doing anything with your wife," The soldier replied, his voice dropping to a growl. He seemed disgusted by Auruo's foul language. "And you'll do well to remember that you don't have a choice in this matter. If you've got a problem with my plan, then you can either out us all and get us killed, or keep your mouth shut and follow my orders."
Auruo said nothing for several moments. "… Maybe I'm not completely understanding."
"I'll walk you through it again. Perhaps I'm using words that your feeble mind can simply not comprehend."
"You're pushing your luck here, Erwin," Auruo shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly.
"My luck?" Clear blue hues shot an icy glare at Auruo that sent shivers down the man's spine and froze his mouth shut. "I've got an entire platoon of soldiers paroling this neighborhood and I will not die at their hands because you cannot keep your voice down."
Erwin's alacrity to throw away human life in order to save himself was sickening, Levi noted, and had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep down a mouthful of vomit. He watched Auruo's face turn pale, and listened to his voice grow timid and hoarse.
"Right. Yes, sir. My apologies, sir."
Levi snorted softly from his seat on the sofa in the living room. Auruo reminded him vaguely of a beaten dog. Then again, he supposed, that would be the pot calling the kettle black. Levi was still unable to be too close to the soldier. The last time he'd tried to shake Erwin's hand, Levi ended up fainting and nearly choking to death on his own bile.
Petra cleared her throat. "Listen, either we follow his plan or we die. Put your god damned pride aside for ten seconds and think of the lives we are putting at stake just by having this meeting right here, right now."
"… Sorry. Go on, Erwin." Auruo ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
"Alright, but please, don't argue until I've finished," the man responded with a grumble, fiddling with his sterling silver cufflinks. If Levi owned one pair of those, he could feed a family of four for a year. Yet here Erwin was, showing them off in front of a family of three who could barely afford to buy food for a week.
Germans are truly disgusting.
Erwin continued, without missing a beat. "I know a man. Foley is his name. He's a passport control officer, who's been helping Jews escape Germany for quite some time with the use of fake papers. Until I can get in contact with him, the only excuse I have for continuing to visit your home is that I have taken your wife as a mistress," Petra's cheeks burned a bright pink, and Auruo stared at the table, biting his tongue until it bled.
This time, it was Levi who interjected. "Does that mean you've done this before?"
Erwin looked him right in the eye, and the Jew couldn't repress the overwhelming sense of security he found in those eyes. Disgusting. He should have been frightened. He should have been murdering this soldier with his own two hands. But he wasn't.
"Yes," Erwin said, softly. "I have."
Levi regarded him for a while, in the dim candlelight of the room, and then gave a small nod for him to continue. Erwin obeyed.
"It will take me at least a week or so to obtain contact. We have a code that cannot be deciphered by my superiors; they have a habit of opening my mail, you see. But it takes quite some time for my letters to be sent out, and it will take longer for his to arrive. We're looking at… a month, give or take, of continuing to hide Levi here until we are able to safely smuggle him out."
"How will we do that?" Petra's voice, tentative and slow. "There are only two people registered to be living in this house, and we do not have guests. No one has seen him come in, so how on Earth are we going to explain him coming out?"
"What, do you think we'll be doing this in the middle of the day? You must be mad. No, we'll have him moved. There are plenty of bodies that litter the streets in the Jewish ghetto just a mile from here. They bring a cart of dead Jews around every day to dispose of…"
Levi caught onto the plan right away, and gritted his teeth. "If you treat Jews like rats to be exterminated and expect me to willingly shove myself into a body bag for you, you've got another thing coming, pretty boy." He hissed, venom dripping from his words.
Erwin turned his head and observed Levi in the low light for a moment before he spoke. "Your accent isn't German."
"No shit. I'm not German. That's why we're speaking English."
"How did you get here?"
Levi merely stared, gaze filled with hatred. He would have spat at the soldier's face, had he the energy. Erwin stared right back, his icy blue gaze unwavering. Finally, Levi looked away to dig around in his pocket for the train ticket that still lay there. Though crumpled and faded, it was still legible. He stood shakily, and Petra stood up to go help him, but Erwin held up his hand for her to stay put as the Jew hobbled over to the trio at the kitchen table.
His hands did not shake as he handed the ticket to the soldier.
Petra and Auruo leaned over the table to get a better look at it as well. The ticket was in French, but the writing on it was German, in thick, tidy cursive.
"What does it say?" Levi asked, still staring at Erwin's eyes though they no longer regarded him.
The soldier hesitated for a moment before he looked up. Sorrow was evident on his face, and it made Levi want to shrink back, but he held his ground, and repeated his question.
"What does it say, Erwin?" He hated himself for allowing his voice to shake the way it did.
The soldier sucked in a breath and ran his gloved fingers through his hair. "It reads: 'These are the last three dogs I'm sending you today.'"
Levi's heart jumped into his throat, and as he began to fall backwards again, this time it was Erwin who steadied him. The Jew was almost not aware that he had been caught until he inhaled a lungful of expensive French cologne; the very same that his father had been wearing on the train the last time he had seen his family, and he was unable to stop the tears from streaming down his face.
Without knowing why, he reached up to grip the back of Erwin's pristine Nazi uniform and balled it up in his fists, pressing his face into that infuriatingly clean, pressed dress shirt, and sobbed until he thought his lungs would burst in his chest.
Petra reached across the table and gripped her husband's hand, and he reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
Erwin just held Levi there, arms wrapped securely around the man's waist to keep him from crumpling against the floorboards. He looked down at Levi, watching as sobs wracked the tiny, fragile frame of the man that he had once known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. He remembered nothing of his previous life; that much had been obvious when he'd recoiled at the mere sight of Erwin, shaking like an Italian Greyhound. Almost as soon as he'd laid eyes on Levi he regretted ever entering that house, and debated just turning on his heel and walking out, and never coming back. Perhaps that would make things easier; he'd cross the Bossard's home off of his list, and leave them to figure things out on their own.
Erwin cursed softly, reaching up to support Levi's neck as it lolled tiredly against his chest. Levi slowly began to calm himself down, his sobs reduced to small sniffles and uneven breaths. The pale fists that had been balled tightly against the smooth fabric now fell limp at his sides, dangling uselessly like heavy weights fastened to chains. He looked as though he were about to fall asleep against Erwin for a moment, until he tilted his head to look up at the man. His eyes were swollen and red, but still the calm, brilliant grey that Erwin remembered so well, and briefly, he wondered how in the world he had even considered leaving.
Erwin looked right back at him, and there was a small flicker of recognition in Levi's eyes. For a moment, Levi had remembered something. And then he was shoving the soldier away from him in a mess of swinging limbs and French curses.
Levi stumbled back haphazardly, slipping on the rug and landing flat on his backside on the hard wooden floor. A loud thud resounded throughout the little house, and startled them all. For several horror-filled seconds, and eerie silence blanketed the living room, and they all waited to see if anyone outside had heard.
Levi was the first of them that came to the realization that if anyone had been outside in the first place, Erwin probably wouldn't have let Petra bring Levi up to join them all in the living room. Paranoia was a slowly-spreading epidemic; though Levi had not been aware that it was even spreading to Hitler's perfect German soldiers. So he sat there, on the floor, scooting back away from Erwin and hoisting himself up with the help of the wall.
"Who are you?" Levi hissed, hands balling into fists as Erwin moved to loosen his tie just a bit.
"I believe we've already been introduced."
"You know what I mean, pig."
"I'm afraid I don't."
The Jew gritted his teeth, glowering up at the Nazi who stood before him. The space between them seemed completely infinite, and yet Levi couldn't help but feel crowded. He was not safe there. Not in that room, in that house, in that city, in that country.
Levi muttered something through his teeth, barely moving his lips as he spoke.
Erwin narrowed his eyes. "Don't mumble. It's impolite."
Impolite.
"I said, don't treat me like that," Levi practically spat the words at Erwin's horrible, gloomy boots. "I'm supposed to be with my family in Lyon. I'm supposed to be safe and clean and healthy but instead I'm here, living under your feet like a fucking rodent, and you're treating me like a mongoloid. I'm not stupid. I speak two languages, I can read and write, I know how to use a telegraph. You've met me somewhere, I can tell, and I'm asking who you are. Answer me. It's the least you can do, considering everything you fuckers have put me through already."
How's that for impolite, asshole?
Erwin stared at him for a moment. "I wonder if there might be a place we could speak in private."
"I'm not letting you anywhere near me if those two aren't in the room." Levi gestured towards Petra and Auruo.
"Then I will say what I said before: my name is Erwin Smith, and I'm a medical officer in Hitler's Third Reich."
"Fuck you."
Auruo cleared his throat. "Levi," He didn't wait for a response. "You need to calm down. You'll faint again if you stress yourself out too much."
"Like he gives a shit. Easier to shove me in a body bag that way."
"Levi," Petra snapped. "Remember what I told you."
"I don't trust him."
Those words cut more deeply into Erwin's heart than he was willing to admit. He remembered how close they had been so long ago; in another time, another life that was completely different from this now. He recalled being the only person that Levi admitted to trusting, so long ago. But he supposed it was different now. That was a different life. They had been different men. It had been so long ago…
"I can escape by myself," Levi snapped indignantly.
Erwin narrowed his eyes; now the man was not only being stubborn, but stupid as well. Those two things mixed to form ignorance, which was, at that particular point in time, a rather annoying strain of terminal disease.
"And just how do you plan to do that?" Erwin kept his composure.
"I'll hide inside someone's suitcase."
With a deep breath, the Nazi ran his gloved fingers through his hair. Levi found his lack of concern absolutely infuriating. No matter what Levi did, he couldn't break that man's equanimity. When Erwin opened his eyes again, Levi could have sworn he'd spotted just a hint of wrath hidden behind those serene blue eyes, and it ignited a fire of contentment within him, as if he were a toddler who'd succeeded in gaining his parent's attention.
"If you'd like to try, be my guest, but do so with the knowledge that you will not survive."
"How do you know?"
"Do you have any idea what they—what we do in those stations?"
Levi suddenly felt very sick. Erwin seemed to pause, and regard Levi with an expression of concern as he noticed the man turn pale. Mercury-colored hues shifted back to lock with ice, and Levi gritted his teeth.
"Oh, please," he snatched back his father's train ticket—which had been nestled safely in the palm of the soldier until that point—and made a show of tucking it safely away in the pocket of his trousers. "Enlighten me."
Erwin eyed the faded, dirty piece of parchment as it fluttered through the air, as it was carefully returned to its rightful owner. The fact that Levi seemed to care more about a piece of paper than the other three human beings in the room was disconcerting.
"We stab the luggage," Erwin stated, bluntly. "Repeatedly. No matter how small the suitcase might be. Any passengers bringing a suitcase onto a train scheduled to leave Germany are subject to random 'inspections.'"
"So you've done it before?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever found anyone?"
The questions came suddenly. Erwin, try as he might, could not understand why in the world Levi would want to know the answers to such inquiries. There was no point in lying.
"… Yes. A little boy."
"Did you hurt him?"
"Yes. He cried, and asked me to stop beating him."
"And, did you?"
"No."
A heavy silence fell over the room. Petra covered her face with both hands, and Auruo wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Levi stared at Erwin, searching that stone cold face for some hint of remorse. He was not surprised when he found none. Levi stood, leaned forward, and spat into that sharp, clean-shaven German face.
"Pig." Levi showed himself back to his room, letting the trap door fall heavily shut behind him.
Days underground passed more slowly than Levi would like admit. He could not see the sun or the stars or the moon; he couldn't even see them when he was upstairs, because the curtains had to be drawn whenever there was a chance of him coming back up. Petra had told him that he could only come up when Erwin told him to. Nazis patrolled the neighborhood frequently, and would not ask politely to enter their home if they noticed suspicious activity, such as the curtains being drawn at odd hours of the night.
Levi did not appreciate being dependent on so many other people. All he did was put everyone around him in danger. Erwin had not visited since their argument, which had been upwards of two weeks ago.
On the upside, Petra had continued to clean his arm, just as Erwin had ordered, and the skin had almost completely knit itself back together. She was down in the cellar with him, gently cutting through the (now useless) stitches, fully intent on taking them out as gently as possible.
"You're lucky he found you when he did, you know." She tugged one of the strings out of his arm.
"I'm lucky you found me when you did." he responded curtly, wincing as the thread caught against his skin, which had begun to heal around it.
"That, too."
They didn't say anything else for a while. Petra's hands were shaky, and Levi tried his best to keep his arm still, so that she could help him a little easier. Several thoughts swam through Levi's head, all while he stared at the dingy ceiling above him, trying to imagine that it was covered in stars. He hadn't seen the stars in months. He hadn't seen the sky. Hadn't been outside, felt the sun on his face, or the breeze through his hair or the rain on his body. He hadn't been able to do so many things he'd once taken for granted.
Levi didn't notice that Petra had finished plucking the little bits of thread from his arm until she gave him a gentle pat. She'd bandaged it one more time for good measure and handed him a piece of bread and a bowl of good, hearty soup. Erwin had sent someone over with onions and carrots, and she'd still had a bit of beef left. There were always plenty of potatoes, and those ingredients together made for quite a nice stew.
He took them gratefully and ate slowly. He'd learned his lesson the first time, after he'd practically inhaled a piece of bread that came back up because he'd eaten too quickly.
"Thank you," he said, leaving out what he did not have the strength to say. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for taking care of me and feeding me. Thank you for risking your life to keep me safe. Thank you for pretending to have an affair just to help me escape. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for saving my life.
"You're welcome," she responded, standing.
He nodded, and watched her leave again, thinking that of all the people that could have stumbled across him in that alley, he was glad it had been her.
There were very few nights that Levi actually slept. He dozed frequently, against the wall or on the cool floor, but he did not sleep. He didn't feel like he needed to. All he did was eat, and try to gain back his strength by walking quietly up and down the basement stairs for hours on end. Sometimes, he overheard conversations upstairs. They were hard to make out most of the time, but sometimes they raised their voices at each other, and Levi could hear every word perfectly, even though they spoke German.
He sat on the steps one night, out of breath from his exercise, and heard Petra storm down the stairs. He could tell it was her from her petite footsteps. Auruo followed soon after. This time, they yelled in English. He sat on the steps of the basement, and listen to Petra storm in, then Auruo. The stark difference in the sound of their footfalls was amusing. They'd been arguing in German before, but he'd heard them switch to English several times when they got really upset. Perhaps they assumed that none of the neighbors would understand; though they'd forgotten that the man under the floorboards could.
"I'm just saying, maybe that's a better idea." Auruo's voice. He sounded exasperated, as though they'd been arguing for hours.
"You agreed to this when you agreed to help me carry him down there." Petra countered. She was in the kitchen now.
"I know, but neither of us were expecting Erwin to show up, and—"
"And nothing, Auruo."
"You know how dangerous this is! Why won't you just hear me out?"
"Because I'm not dumping him on someone else!"
Levi wrinkles his nose. 'I'm not dumping him on someone else.' Like he was a heavy, replaceable sack of potatoes.
"We agreed to this. You said we'd help him until the end, Auruo, remember?"
"Yes, and then someone much more capable came along. Erwin. We trust him, we know him, and we all know Levi, too. Levi doesn't remember. Erwin does. Erwin can help; you know he'd never hurt Levi, not in a million years."
"He was our commander! He'd sacrifice anything for the sake of humanity! I don't know about now, but back then, he was just as ruthless as he is now."
Levi was confused. Who the hell were they talking about? Surely not Erwin; he wasn't worthy of the dirt beneath his own feet, as far as Levi was concerned. There was no way he'd ever been the commander of anything.
"He stabbed a child to death, Auruo." Petra's voice dropped to a soft whisper, and Auruo was silent for several moments before he spoke again.
"Levi is no child. He could handle himself then, why not now?"
"Mein Gott, Auruo! Listen to yourself! He can barely make it up those stairs without fainting; at the very least, we need to strengthen him up before we just hand him over like a prisoner of war."
"Are you saying you don't trust the commander?"
"The only people I trusted were in our squad. Captain Levi included."
Captain? Captain Levi?
"I'll take that as a no."
Petra's voice grew in volume. "I didn't trust him then, and I sure as hell don't trust him now. Not after that little show he put on in front of Levi."
"It's our only hope, Petra. What are you planning to do without his help? Wait until the war is over?"
"The war can't last forever."
"Be reasonable, Petra! You're going to be the reason he dies!" Auruo was close to screaming now, though he seemed to be holding back. Petra, however, had no problem screaming her reply.
"I'd rather it be me than that Nazi!"
Suddenly, the sound of gunshots resounded through the house. Levi stood abruptly, nearly banging his head against the hard wooden trap door, his heart racing in his chest. For a moment he was convinced that Petra and Auruo had both been shot, but the sounds of their rushed footsteps told him otherwise. They ran to shut off the lights and look through the front window; Levi could hear the old floorboards moan beneath their weight.
Auruo's voice came in a panicked, hushed tone. He said something in German that Levi did not understand. Petra smacked him once and told him to shut his mouth (Levi had learned a few German phrases during his stay, at least). The two of them sat by the window, terrified, and watched. Levi could hear them breathing, hear them grab for each other's hands.
He heard shouting outside, very briefly. It was a soldier, no doubt about it, yelling something in German loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. Levi did not know what was going on. He heard the soldier begin to count.
"Ein!" A gunshot.
"Zwei!" Another gunshot.
"Drei! Veir! Fünf!" Three more.
There was an eerie silence that fell over the neighborhood then. Levi could not see the five Jewish refugees who'd snuck into Munich. He had not seen the way the Germans had made them kneel in the middle of the street. He had not seen the way the Germans had asked for the French Jew to come out of hiding, holding their lives for ransom. He had not seen the way the blood ran from their heads and into a collective river that carried what would soon be the only remaining proof of their existence into the gutter.
"Wir werden jeden letzten jew finden!" The soldier shouted, holding his pistol in the air, and shouting then at the people who watched, horrified, from their windows. "We will find every last Jew! Anyone who turns the Frenchman in now will be rewarded for their aid to the Führer!"
Levi sat on the steps and waited. He could not understand what was being said at all; it was far too muffled for him to even recognize a few words. Petra and Auruo gripped each other's hands beneath the windowsill. Levi could smell the sweat that poured down the backs of their necks, hear the way they shifted uncomfortably just above him, their breathing heavy through their noses.
There was a pause from the soldier, momentarily, and then he shouted something else, and the sound of a platoon could be heard marching through the streets. Without thinking, Levi stumbled down the steps and back onto his cot, staring up at the floorboards. He didn't know where the soldiers were going, if Erwin was among them, or, if Erwin did happen to be there, whether or not the man would protect him.
The trap door swung open heavily and Petra peered in, terror evident on her face. "Levi, get up." She ordered, nearly jumping down the stairs to fetch him.
"What's going on?" He asked her as she took hold of his arm and tugged him upwards, forcing him to stand.
"They know you're in Munich, but they don't know where. They're searching homes now."
Levi paled. "Right now?"
"Yes." She pulled him up the basement steps and back up to the house. Levi spared a glance outside. The sky was dark. There were no stars or clouds, and there was no one in sight that would have seen him walk across the foyer and into a coat closet. Petra opened the door and shoved him inside, sparing only a few moments to give him instructions. "There is a panel of the wall at the back that can be removed and put back on from the inside. Hide there until I tell you to come out."
She shut the door and he heard her run back down to the cellar to fold up the cot and hide it behind a sack of flour and a German flag. He thought she must have been stupid, running up and down from the cellar like that with the curtains wide open. If someone were to have seen her, she would have given them all away with just her actions. Luckily, no one did. She had just shut the door and covered it again with the rug when the soldiers reached her home.
Levi scrambled to the back of the closet and nearly tore at the wall, searching in the dark until he found the part that split off. It was virtually invisible, and Levi, barely 160 centimeters, could barely stuff himself inside. But it worked. He tucked his knees to his chest and put his head between his legs, pulling the panel back onto the wall and making sure it was secure.
He did not know how much time had passed. He did know the soldier had been inside the house far longer than they should have been. Perhaps they had smelled the basement and found that no kind of meat would make it smell like that. Perhaps they'd found the cot. Levi did not know. The closet had only been opened once and the soldier had stepped inside, turned on the light, torn through the clothes on the hangers and left without flipping the light switch again.
Levi bit his lip. It was humiliating to stuff himself into a hole in the wall and wait while the people that had kept him alive for so many months could very well be dying right outside the closet in which he was hidden. His body ached from the strain of keeping such a tight position for so long. He was sure it had been at least half an hour, though in reality perhaps it was only minutes that had passed while he had been stuffed inside the wall. Levi could not hear anything outside of the closet; no movement, no noise, nothing. He waited.
It felt like it had been hours by the time he heard someone come into the closet again and turn off the light. Levi was tempted to call out to them, but he knew better.
He let his head fall back against the wall, gently, and thought he might close his eyes for only a moment. He was tired, and needed a rest, and just then seemed like the perfect time to do so. He was sure that no matter how relaxed he might have been, his body would not budge from the tiny crawlspace without help.
Levi did not know how long he had been asleep, but he jolted awake with a gasp, nearly slamming his head against the top of the little crawlspace. He needed to talk to Erwin. Right away.
