A/N: You reviewers have really good ideas. I'll keep em' in mind for the future. ;)
~Chapter Three~
For the past few days, Loki kept himself shut inside his room. Tony knew this from keeping tabs on the surveillance. (Not like he was being a stalker or anything, Fury nags him…) He figured that this had to do with Loki messing with the computer. The billionaire asked Jarvis about Loki's search history—and strangely, nothing was there. Stranger enough, Jarvis also informed Tony that Loki used magic on the computer. After that, for some reason, he locked up himself in his room, staying in his bed motionless for the past days.
Tony remembered the first day Loki locked himself up within his bedroom, he could only stare at the surveillance video in fascination, seeing the lumpy figure of Loki hiding under the covers. He hears stuff from the Asguardian saying things like, 'No Thor don't go into my room,' or, 'Don't you dare hug me!' and weird things like that. On the second night, there was a thunderstorm. When Loki was sleeping, he would randomly scream or roll off his bed. Which Tony laughed his ass off.
It went on like this for a couple of more days, and finally Tony decided to check in on the prisoner. "Ayo. Ayo bro." Tony calls out in the speaker that is wired into Loki's room. The Avengers sits back and waits for a reply. Gazing at the computer screen, he sees that Loki did not so much reacts to his greeting. Tony huffs. Here he is, taking the time to actually talk to the former supervillain. But noooo he gives the Tony Stark a cold shoulder. Nobody does that to him and gets away with it.
"Hey. Bub. I'm talking to you." Tony says in a louder voice, more persistent.
"What do you want, Stark?" The smooth voice of Loki finally answers him, muffled through the sheets.
Tony smirks, swinging the microphone around in his hand. "So I see you've been playing around the computer lately." He comments, acting nonchalant.
"That's what the cube Midguardian device is called? A computer?" Loki sits up, the bed sheets coming off him.
Tony gives a whistle, actually seeing what Loki looks like after hiding under the blankets for five days. "Damn. You look like shit."
"Why thank you for putting it so lightly Mr. Stark." Loki says dryily, looking at the direction where the camera is located inside his room. His eyes are sunken in, his hairy messy and greasier than usual, and his forehead sweaty. He looked as if he hadn't changed his clothes for days—which to Tony's discomfort, knows this is true due from watching his activities.
In answer, Tony smirks, waving his hand. "Yes, yes, always count on me for telling you how you look. But honestly Loki. You really let yourself go. What happened, did you discovered fanart about Steve?" Tony snorts, remembering the time when he showed the Cap a special fan page dedicated to him...he never looked at nurses and his shield the same way ever again. Haha, good times…
Loki noticeably shudders in discomfort, pulling the blankets up around him. "No. Much worse." He shivers, as if he were remembering something absolutely horrid. "Say Stark, have you ever heard of this thing called...Fanfiction?" Loki uttered the word as if he were saying, 'porn vidoes' like Steve would say them.
The CEO shakes his head, frowning. "Nope. What is that?"
Loki would only reply with a shudder and mutterings of intelligible gibberish. Tony shrugs. "Well, from your reaction, I'm guessing that you discovered your fangirls and fanboys." He says, grinning despite the fact Loki couldn't see him. Loki raises an eyebrow.
"...Fan-girls?"
"Yes." Tony bobs his head up and down. "Probably the most psychotic and stalkerish people on the planet. A very dangerous type of humankind." Tony narrates dramatically. "They are usually teenage girls obsessed with a fictional character or actor having dirty fantasies about that poor someone. If that obsession is tangible and real, fangirls would stalk that someone and would probably mutilate/violate/assault them if given chance." He informs the Asguardian as if explaining why the sky was blue.
Loki could only stare blankly at the direction of the camera. Finally, he declares in a flat voice, "Mortals are strange."
Tony laughs. "That's a gross understatement." He shifts around in his seat, putting his feet carelessly up on the glass desk. He puts his arms behind his head, getting comfortable. In the back of his mind, he is seriously weirded out at the fact that he was having a normal and carefree conversation with the evil extraterrestrial that tried to enslave humanity over a month ago. And they were talking to each other as if they were normal people. Truly weird. Tony strokes his beard.
"In general, us human beings can be the most anti-social and social creatures you'll ever know."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Blame the internet."
"...Enter...nit?" Loki repeats, obviously pronouncing wrong.
Tony rolls his eyes. This was like having a conversation with Steve and Thor on how to use the computer all over again. "Interneeeettt." Tony drags the word out, as if talking to a toddler. "The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to link several billion devices worldwide." Tony say in a very fast voice.
He chortles when he sees the blank, clueless expression on Loki's face once again. Man, it was fun knowing something that the so-called smart God of Mischief doesn't know. "In short, the Internet is a place where there's a bunch of websites where people can waste their time and social skills on, yet still get entertained!"
Loki blinks. "...I see…"
Tony brainstorms for a moment. "Let's start out small on your road to exploring Earth's culture, shall we? How about you start with the wonderful and popular social website called...Facebook!" Tony waves his hands in a shape of a rainbow when he said Facebook. "Make an account and start your epic internet journey."
"An account?"
"Yeah. But a tip for you. Don't put your real name or any personal information. Because one: you'll get a lotta haters."
"Haters?"
"Or two: scary fangirls will stalk you. So put a fake name for your account like, Joe Silver or something. I dunno. Just don't any personal stuff on your page in general!"
A thoughtful expression is on Loki's face. "So...you're asking me to lie?"
"Basically."
A grin spreads on his face. "Oh please Tony. I'm the god of bloody freaking lies."
~0o0o0o0o0o0o~
After the casual conversation with Tony, Loki now sits in front of the "computer." He typed in "Facebook" into the search bar, and found a way to make an "account" like Tony said. Now, Loki stares at the screen wondering what to type in for his fake name. He snorts at the thought of naming himself, 'Joe Silver.' Silver was a last name he could settle with, but Joe? What the heck kind of name is Joe? Loki finally settled for the name, 'L. Silver.' So creative.
For his age, Loki pondered this as well. Technically, he was 1,048 years old. He certainly couldn't put that in the application. Now that Loki thinks about, how old is he in human years? He calculates the numbers and figures quickly in his head. I'm about 19 years old. He thought. He paused for a moment. Damn, I'm young in Midguardian years. He thought, as he put that in.
He moved onto birth dates. Loki ponders this once again. Come to think of it, he's never had a birthdate. The demigod refuses to acknowledge his birthdate—fake birthdate given by Odin. Because he's….A scowl on his face, Loki types in a random day to serve for the birthdate information.
As for the contact information, Loki decided to put Captain America's phone number. (The patriotic bufoon was far too careless with his posessions). The rest of the application requirements were quite mundane in his opinion. After Loki filled in the rest of the information, he finally made his account. Loki sat back, looking over the website. It was pretty basic. There was Timeline, About, Photos, and...Friends.
Loki stared at the page for another moment. It was blank. Empty. Incomplete. Loki clenches his hands. How does this stupid excuse of a Midguardian website expect him to make friends? Not like anybody knew him on his website for whom he actually is. But still...trying to shake the rage out of his head, Loki decided to explore the website.
Glancing over at the searchbar, Loki's hands typed in, 'Thor.' Loki couldn't help but wonder whether if his brother discovered this site as well. And well enough, he found his profile. There were plenty of other accounts with the name, 'Thor' all of them shams. Loki could tell that the real Thor profile he found is definitely from his brother by the profile picture of him and Jane Foster. They were both smiling at the camera, which looked blurry as if the person who took the picture couldn't take a still shot of them.
Loki went into his profile. His eyes twitch with envy seeing that his brother had nearly nine thousand friends. And surprisingly enough, his brother had photos posted already. The trickster couldn't stop himself from looking through them. The photos mostly had to do, shockingly, with his newfound friends. There were photos like, 'First Midguardian Christ-Mass Holdiay!' (Thor, the idiot, spelled Christmas wrong) or, 'Poptarts and Coffee Recipe.' (The combination of the two created by his brother honestly looked horrendous.)
Although, there was one photo that stood out to Loki. It was a picture taken of Thor, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Steve, Jane Foster, and Doctor Selvig. Loki figured that the Black Widow and Hawkeye weren't in the picture, since their identities probably needed to be covered up from public eye. As for the others, they were open books. They were all gathered together at the bar.
Tony (as expected) looked drunk in the picture, wearing Thor's cape as if he were Superman. His foot is up on the stool, his fist pumped in the air. His other arm is wrapped around Doctor Banner, who is smiling lopsidedly, glasses askew on his face, and his wavy brunette hair plastered onto his forehead in a messy matter. Thor is clasping a hand with the Jane Foster woman, in which she is blushing deeply in the picture. The God of Thunder holds a huge mug of beer midair in the picture with Doctor Selvig, who is disturbingly shirtless. As for Steve, he's knocked out on the table, a bottle of beer trapped within his hands. On the back of his shirt is a note that reads, 'Talk Patriotic to me.'
Loki couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of the picture. Yet the hollowness with his chest seems to spread slowly, like a disease. So many people seemed to like the picture. There were approximately almost a million likes. Ninety-nine thousand shares. Almost two million comments. Loki couldn't stop himself from reading them. Most of them praised his brother and his friends.
'Thor, bro, you're my hero! ;D'
'Thanks for defending our city!'
'Keep that hammer high and proud!'
'Wow, I wish that I have friends and a hot girlfriend like you!'
'You're really lucky to have these teammates as your best buds.'
Loki stares emptily at the comments. Comment on top of comment complimented Thor. Praised him. Adorned him. Admired him. Loki takes in a deep swallow, staring at the the keyboard. Even in Midgard, Thor was popular. But Loki had to agree with the comments on one thing. He gazes back at the photo. It looked warm. Welcoming. Nice.
Before Loki could stop himself from thinking it, he thought, 'I wish that I have friends like him.' Realizing this, he banished these forbidden thoughts from his head. He laughs out loud in the empty room. It quickly dies down. What is he so distraught about? He can make it damn well throughout his long life without having friends. It's poisonous to have them anyway. Sooner or later they either backstab you or just get tired of your company.
Friends?
The word seemed foreign to Loki. Most of his life, he had no friends besides (as much as he hated to admit it) Thor, when he was younger. Sure, there were the Three Warriors, but they only tolerated his company because of Thor's insistency to be around him. When younger, Loki tolerated them and was content with it. But as he grew up, he realized the indifference that they gave to him. They were not interested when he learned new spells, or laughed at his jokes and stories rather than Thor. No, Loki was the odd man out. The loner.
Loki's chest constricts thinking about this. He takes a breath out, and goes back to his home page. He should not waste his time on such trivialities. Once he got his breathing under control and his thoughts collected, Loki notices a that on the top of the page, the icon of people is red. He scrolls the mouse up to it, and clicks it.
Friend Requests:
Thomas Y.
Loki freezes for a moment. Dizzily, he thought, Friend request…? The thought took another few seconds to register into his mind. This stranger...wants to be my friend? He thought feverishly. That is so odd. Why would a stranger want to be a stranger's friend? Loki stares at the request for another moment. Before he stopped himself, he clicked Add Friend.
Immediately, the speech bubble icon goes red. Loki clicks on it and reads:
Thomas Y.
11:09 a.m
Hey there newbie! Welcome to Facebook my man!
Loki blinks. Should he answer it? In a minute he makes up his mind and does.
Hello. Wow. Where did Loki's creativity go? Hello. Bah, such a bland statement.
Thomas Y. answers no less than a few seconds. 'Hello?' All you got to say rookie? How do you like the site so far? Pretty rad, am I right?
Loki scrunches up his nose. 'Rad?' What does that mean? He decides to play along. Erm, yes, it is quite rad. Loki types out. So rad that I am enjoying it. Oh so very...rad. When Loki sent it and re-read his message, he does a facepalm. He sounded like a bumbling idiot. He dreaded the message from Thomas Y to come back.
Yeaaah. You must really like the word rad. Ha! XD
Loki is confused by 'XD.' What is that? What kind of word is, 'XD.' Pardon, what is 'XD?' Is it an acrynoym of some sort…?
...It's an emoticon. Emoticon? Loki was feeling more ignorant by the minutes.
Yes, yes. I knew that...emoticons. Ah, what good things…
Okay? You're a funny dude. Be honest with me. You don't know how to use the internet that much, do you? A foreigner?
Loki hesitates. You can say that.
Right, right. Well Silver, it's gonna be a long day, cuz I'm going to teach you the ways of Facebook and Internet Language. Get ready! :D
Loki sits back in his chair. ':D?' Seriously, what is up with these strange assorted signs? And most of all, what did he got himself into?
A/N: Whew, that's the end. I know this chapter isn't off the top HILARIOUS, but I want some plot to be happening in this fic. I don't want it to just be over the top reactions from Loki that are completely out of character and silly. My goal for this fic is for Loki to go on an internal journey of his exile and his sorrow that he's trying to cover up be distracting himself by delving into Midguardian culture. In a way, it's kind of a redemption journey. I'm trying to accomplish this fic by keeping Loki, along with the other canon characters intact with their characters.
I want some character development to be going on with him and the Avengers, not to mention, I also want to explore his personality and mental state. This chapter was exploring his thoughts about Thor and The Three Warriors a lot. Yeah, kind of a mood killer, but whatever wharves. Just know, fellow readers, that this fic won't always be all laughs and humor. There will be emotional moments, angsty moments, and fluffy moments. SO BE PREPARED.
Next chapter: Loki Discovers Tumblr.
