Cosima's looking up at her, she flashes a somewhat suggestive smile and starts taking off her rings - putting them on the now cluttered end table. She bites her lip. She doesn't feel high yet. DYAD, illnesses, clones and Aldous still weighing heavy on her mind. Her clone, oh she'd hate to be thought of like that. Her Cosima. She could lie to her, that was easy enough. But loving her, can she really love her and lie to her?

Shaking her head slightly she reaches for the plate again, but Cosima stops her.

"Give it time, seriously don't eat another one." Cosima warns, her eyes more serious than Delphine had ever seen them before.

She glances down at the younger woman, "How long does it take?"

"An hour, maybe two it's been a while." Cosima smiles, "Smoking it is faster, and well, kind of safer."

"Safer?" She hesitates before responding, "How baked am I going to be?"

Cosima laughs, "Really, really baked."

She lets out a sigh, unsure of how this is going to go. She might as well try to kill the time before the high kicks in. But she won't initiate sex, that has to be Cosima's doing. She hesitates, what else could she safely kill the time with.

"Tell me about your parents, your life." Something normal Delphine told herself, something humanizing. She lay down on her side next to Cosima.

"Don't you already know?"
Delphine shakes her head, "Only names and ages. Carolyn Doyle and Dominik Niehaus Aged 39 years and 43 years at your birth."

Cosima clears her throat, "My mom was a university librarian working in Boston when she met my dad. It's actually kind of a cool story - my dad was a guest lecturer from the west coast doing a lecture on medicinal uses of plants-"

Delphine snorts with laughter glancing over at the brownies as Cosima breaks into a smile, "I'm sorry ma chérie, go on." She gently runs her fingers over the dreads. They look so different down, wild and tamed at the same time.

"Anyways, my mom was bored and decided to go to the ethnobotany lecture on her lunch. She still tells me the world stopped the first time she met my dad - but I think she's probably exaggerating."

Delphine agrees, "Probably." Still nothing, she thought, thinking of the pot brownie she'd consumed. Shouldn't it have done something by now? Her mind was a busy and as rational as ever.

"Anyways, she was so enchanted by my father and his accent she invites him to dinner, he accepts. They both swoon. Long story short- Dad officially immigrates, Mom and he find new jobs in San Francisco, they get married-"

"Swoon? What's swoon?" Delphine runs across words in her mind seeking an equivalent in French.

"Oh damn, translation, translation-" Cosima reaches for her phone, types for a moment then speaks, "Se pâmer?"
The accent isn't the worst she's ever heard, even so she tries not to laugh, "Fainting? They fainted? In the restaurant?" That can't be right. She doesn't usually have to reach for words, but every once in a while there's something that she can't quite grasp or translate.

"Not really. More of a romantic, mushy stare and swoon sorta thing. Ok I'm guessing that one is lost in translation." She smiles that same infuriating, arousing smile. Is she really going to have to make the first move? Delphine wonders to herself. Even after having sex again at Felix's she was nervous. Performance anxiety, she hadn't seen that coming on this side of thirty.

She nods her agreement, "I have no translation for it. So where are they now?"

Cosima's tone is slightly surprised, "My parents? Oh they still keep an apartment in San Fran. They travel a lot. Both retired now. Dad guest lectures a bit." Cosima shrugs as well as she is able from her spot on the bed.

She's probably killed the mood entirely, but she's curious about the things that aren't in the file. What kind of child was Cosima? What was her family really like? How old was she when she fell in love with science? Had her first kiss? Got dreadlocks? The million little stories that you learn when you're with someone. The insatiable desire to learn Cosima inside out. She hasn't had that in years. DYAD effectively consumed her life, and she loved it, mostly. She hadn't been in love, really in love since she was in medical school before her PhD. And now? She looked back at Cosima again, letting her eyes wander down her body. Love. She can't say it. There are so many things she can't say. She shakes her head without really thinking about it.

Cosima breaks the silence, "What are you thinking?"

"That I know so little about you," She responds honestly, stroking her fingers lightly down Cosima's shoulder.

Cosima half-smiles, "Well we've talked science enough you know my research interests. So like childhood stuff? Or like exes and history stuff?"

"Anything. Tell me anything." A taste of the normal, pretending there is a divide between her work and her personal life.

"Umm okay," Cosima starts, " Well after montessori school finished when I was 12 I got to be the weird kid for the rest of school." She gestures with her free hand, leaned to her side to be closer to Delphine.

"Who wasn't?" Delphine pulls herself in closer, "I read all the time. I spent three years obsessed with planets and outer space." She smiles at her own memories. Her brothers, her parents - now divorced, learning english, first loves, academics, sex and boyfriends. It all ran together in her head. She never anticipated this, falling for a woman. Even an incredible one like Cosima. But Cosima doesn't ask her questions, almost like she's afraid to.

Cosima half-laughs back, "For me it was animals, then Egypt - I was going to be a veterinarian."

"And an archaeologist?" Delphine adds lightheartedly.

"Not really, that was a short phase." Cosima pulls her in closer. It's still strange to have a smaller body in her arms. She's momentarily distracted by the breasts pushing against her own. Even through layers of fabric. Cosima seems to notice her attention drifting and loosens her grip slightly, "You okay?"

Sometimes she's afraid she's going to cry again. At a little thing like this. She's so sensitive to me, Delphine muses silently. She doesn't always cry after sex, but with Cosima she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. How could she have expected this?
"Yeah." She leans in for the kiss. Enjoy the feel of it, Cosima's lips playing with her own, her tongue teasing her into a sort of madness. She doesn't seem sick now. Not at all.
Her heart starts to thunder in her chest and she's not sure whether that's the drugs or Cosima's kiss or something else entirely. In the end she just gives into it, straddling Cosima, leaning down to kiss her as strong hands find her hips and encourage them to move, still fully clothed, into Cosima's.
That sweet mouth has found it's way to her neck, to her earlobes and she moans slightly. One of her own hands has gone to unbutton her shirt, shucking it off as quickly as possible
"How do you want me?" A voice whispers low and steady in her ear and her breath catches. That voice alone could keep her up all night wanting.

Her only response is another moan, longer and deeper than before. She's rolled to her back, her legs wrapped around Cosima's hips pulling her closer. Cosima's dress is suddenly absent, she notes as she feels smooth skin under her calves as if it has all been electrified. It just feels like more.

"The things I want to do to you..." The words are whispered into her neck. She finds herself staring at her ceiling clutching Cosima close to her.

Suddenly she's aware she's gone under. She's not lucid, definitely not lucid and it is scaring the hell out of her. Panic sets in, she knows she's breathing heavily. She feels like she's swimming desperately in her own mind trying to regain control.

"I don't like this. Je m'excuse... Is it supposed to be like this?" She could speak, but as she spoke she seemed to lose track of her thoughts. She was instantly convinced she could see her thoughts slipping out of her mouth. She had to stop them. Je t'aime. She could think it easily enough, but Cosima understood a bit of french- and she could risk something like that slipping out. J'ai baisé Leekie. She didn't want that one coming out either. Too many secrets. She's biting her lip.

"Delphine?" Cosima's voice is calling her name sleepily, but she's probably lost in her own haze.

"Merde. Jamais plus Cosima. Ça m'a fait peur. My thoughts are slipping out." She clutches desperately at Cosima's shoulders, holding her like an anchor but Cosima is high too.
"No they're not. You're just high. Maybe a little too high." Cosima strokes her hair, backing up slightly.

Eventually the panic fades. She finds herself gently tracing Cosima's tattoos, absolutely consumed by them. The dandelion seeds floating up her forearm seems to be moving slightly. She traces the lines with her tongue, with her lips. The euphoria bit has set in, she reasons to herself.

Cosima's fingers stroking her cheeks, her wet cheeks she realizes after an entirely too long period of time.

Cosima's voice speaks from somewhere above her, "I'm so sorry Delphine. They were stronger than I thought. I only had a half. So so sorry."

She's not. Totally lost in this. Just this. It's bliss now. She is in touch with everything in the universe. She is everything. Cosima is everything. "I'm alright Cosima."

"You're crying again."

She smiles weakly, and contents herself with being held and losing herself in the mundane little things, the stupid things. Cosima's fingers in her hair, the feel of the sheets on her bare back, the roughness of a dread twisted between her fingers. It was enough for now.

Author's Note/Disclaimer - The "bad trip" high was based loosely upon the experience of a friend of mine. Eating marijuana tends to create a more intense and longer lasting high - though it takes longer to kick in - I streamlined the timeline a bit for this fic. I do not advise recreational drug use. Any substances you consume after reading my fanfiction have nothing to do with me and you do so entirely at your own risk.