A/N; I'd like to thank my reviewer. :) As usual, unbetaed. Enjoy!

SIX – DOOM

That afternoon, Ichigo decided to finally study some Maths.

There wasn't a reason to do it, actually. He just had the feeling that going on making out with Kira wasn't the most proper way to spend the weekend. And even if Kyoraku-sensei made Aizen delete his bad grade, he really couldn't afford to slack off.

«You damn nerd» Kira grumbled, watching as he took his books and pencil-case and sat on the bed to study more comfortably.

«Oh, come on, Kira» Ichigo protested. «How come you have nothing to study?»

«Looks like I'm smarter than you, after all» the blond replied, grumpy. «I've copied Latin homework from Shiro-chan, Maths' exercises from Byakuya-kun and there's no hurry to study Biology right now.»

«That Kuchiki bastard let you copy his homework?» Ichigo wondered, scratching his nape.

«Yup» Kira muttered. «We are in good terms, what did you think?»

«As if. More importantly, he doesn't dislike you fully just because you're both spoilt and rich boys» Ichigo murmured, trying to read an intricate problem, frowning. «This must be the only reason why a guy like that could think you're worthy of his regal attention.»

«You're quite cruel with Byakuya-kun» Kira blurted out, offended. The pout suited his pale face a lot, Ichigo thought. It made him even cuter than usual. «Actually, he's better than what you think.»

«Yeah, sure» Ichigo replied, suddenly attacking him to ruffle his hair. «I'm going to the library to get a couple books, I'll return asap.»

«You damn nerd» Kira repeated, jumping on his bed and flipping through the pages of a manga he took from his shelf.

Ichigo ran along the corridor, feeling good. He ran until he grew tired, then he rushed down the stairs, landing on the floor with a jump and pushing the elevator button to reach the ground floor. He went to the library, grabbed the first Equations' book he found and he was ready to return to the dorm.

For some weird reason, though, he felt like changing his path, passing through the canteen and going towards the classrooms, to take the elevator in the hall. While he walked, he passed next to one of the gorgeous glass walls that decorated the luxurious building. It was a warm and sunny day, and various sports clubs were practicing outside, taking advantage of the weekend's time off.

When Ichigo saw Byakuya Kuchiki dressed like a normal soccer player, running and sweating in such an oddly regal manner behind a very common-looking ball, his mouth almost fell on his feet. He had noticed, without even meaning it, the perfectly rounded butt of the boy, encased on the white shorts that really didn't do much to hide it.

Ichigo shook his head. That damn Kuchiki-teme could be as beautiful as he wanted, but in the end he was nothing but the biggest bastard he'd ever known. The way he talked with Renji-kun was unforgivable, he thought, noticing how the referee whistled and Byakuya ran directly to the redhead to scold him, since he sent the ball flying over the fence with a particularly powerful kick. Renji looked great too, in his soccer uniform, but the icy-cold, raven-haired boy didn't seem to notice.

Ichigo huffed, smiling a little. Well, Kuchiki could even go to hell, for what he cared. Returning in his room, he found out that Kira already forgot about their bickering of before. The blond boy smiled at him cheerfully, sitting cross-leggedly on his bed with Social Distortion playing at full volume. «It's half past six» he announced, beyond happy. «In a couple hours we'll all go out with Kyoraku-sensei. Shuuhei asked him for permission, and he dropped here a couple minutes ago to tell us.»

«You're very enthusiastic» Ichigo blurted out, as usual annoyed by the mere mention of Shuuhei's name. «I'm still wondering what's so fun about going to some random club...»

«But Ichigo!» Kira yelled, jumping down from the bed to stop right in front of him. «I'm secluded in this damn school from September! I'm looking forward sneaking out of it, even for a couple hours. Staying here, sometimes, it's just damn hard, what do you think? And also-»

He suddenly interrupted his speech halfway, looking at Ichigo with his big, bulging eyes. They were so blue and pleading that Ichigo couldn't avoid feeling touched. «I'm sorry, Ichigo, I got angry. It's just that it's not been that easy, for me, to get used to this school. I guess you already realised that my uncles are wealthy, but they both work like crazy to pay my school fees. I don't know how much they love me, since I got dumped at their place after my parents died in a car accident when I was in middle school, but... well, I don't think they're bad people, after all. I'm not hiding, though, that in the first times I've wondered a lot why they put me in a place like this. I'm still doing it, from time to time. Maybe... maybe they just don't want me around.»

«I see» Ichigo replied, reaching out to gently stroke the side of his face. «Come on, don't think about it too much. Now I'm here with you, right?»

Kira smiled a little sadly, leaning on him to receive a kiss on his forehead, a brotherly, more than romantic, gesture. While they both settled on Kira's bed to listen to the music together, Ichigo stared at him with a frown.

So, it was really as if he'd always thought: Kira's family was wealthy, his relatives did worry for him and, even if in their own way, they seemed to care about him. Then, why did the blonde boy seem so in need of love and human kindness? Actually, Kira didn't need much, to get happy: a kiss, a caress, a hug... and that sweet smile of his would spread on his face, underlining his delicate beauty.

But, Ichigo thought again, flipping through the pages of his Maths book, after that time he found him in the library, Kira's smile hadn't been the same anymore. It was more like... a resignation smile.

Soon he got sucked up in the complicate formulae, forgetting about those confusing thoughts. But deep in his heart he already knew that there was a dark spot, hidden in Kira, a shadowed place he could never grasp before it changed into a black hole and swallowed him fully. Actually, it was like Ichigo had known it from the beginning.

Sooner or later, Kira would have fallen into the abyss.

«Darn it» Renji growled, his bright hair tied up in a knot on top of his head, his face shining with sweat under the hot lights of the club Kyoraku accompanied them to. «That perverted old man.»

«Thank you, Kyoraku-sensei, really» Shuuhei added, fiddling with the straw of his drink, «Ise-san and him went in the privé to have fun, and dropped us all here in the seventh circle of hell.»

«The music alone is enough to make me feel sick» Ichigo complained. Actually, the club was nothing but a banal disco, so banal it was awful and bleak. The music played was only techno, a genre Ichigo abhorred, and the drinks served at the bar were all too expensive and too alcoholic. Smoking was allowed, in fact a lit cigarette appeared immediately between Shuuhei's sensual lips.

«Oh, come on, it's not so bad» Kira said, lively. «See, Byakuya-kun likes it too.»

«Hm» this one commented, glancing with desire at the crowded dance floor. He totally looked like he was dying to throw himself in the middle of the crowd, but he was too shy to admit. His white fingers were lingering on his black jacket, probably wishing to discard it.

«I'm taking it» Renji offered, and Byakuya just stared at him coldly, before the redhead added: «Your jacket, I mean. Only if you want.»

Then, with an elegant gesture, Byakuya Kuchiki undressed in front of them all, harshly handing Renji the jacket, and he stepped into the dance floor wearing just a tight white tank top. Ichigo had some problems watching elsewhere, when he noticed the way his tight jeans adhered to his back.

«I'm going to the toilet» Kira announced, patting on his shoulder. «See ya in five minutes.»

«'kay» Ichigo replied, in a bad mood. He wasn't having the littlest bit of fun.

Kira chuckled to himself while he looked for the toilet. He drained up his Coke, he crushed the can and he just threw it on the floor, since nobody seemed to care about hygiene in that place. He even chose a non-alcoholic drink, not to end up piss drunk, vomiting on his feet. He wanted to enjoy the night to its fullest.

Finally he found the restrooms, and he patiently waited for the queue, trying to ignore the rare girls giggling at him and the beefy men glaring at him. When he locked the cubicle door behind him, he felt a little safer, and he sighed. After doing what he needed, he got out, heading to the taps to wash his hands.

And in that moment, he heard a noise.

«Uh, Gin-»

Kira watched himself in the mirror suspended over the sink.

Gin?

He knew only one Gin, but he rather not thinking about him. No, he immediately decided, shaking his head, it couldn't be. Sure, the person he instinctively thought about at that time was at school, studying at his desk or more probably in his bed, sleeping. Alone, hopefully, or maybe in his lover's arms...

This time he heard a loud moan. A deep, croaky male voice, that sent shivers down his spine.

He knew that voice, now he was sure of it.

«Ah, Aizen-sensei...»

Kira turned abruptly, looking hallucinated at the cubicles' doors. First three were empty, but last one... if he watched carefully, he could see a pair of shoes moving under. His heart dropped in his chest then jumped straight in his throat, suffocating him.

No, no. It was a nightmare. It couldn't be real…

He was sweating. Big droplets of sweat were running along his face, he could feel them even down his back. The shirt he wore stuck to his skin, glued to his body. When he heard someone speak, he barely recognised his own voice. «I-Ichimaru-senpai...»

Noises coming from the occupied cubicle ceased immediately. Kira looked terrified at the lock being turned, his lips trembling, until a boy sporting a rather ruffled head of silver hair appeared in front of him. Ichimaru Gin, the one he loved more than anything, smiled at him, oblivious of his dishevelled state. His pants were half-unbuttoned, and his uniform shirt hanging out of his belt.

«Look who's there. I came here without expecting much from a horrible place like this and look who did I find? Little Izuru.»

Kira couldn't talk. More than that, though, he couldn't even think straight. He just stepped back until his back touched the sink, his eyes wide, round and blue, staring at Ichimaru's reddened face. Behind the slim senpai, a broader-built, older man made his appearance.

«Aizen-sensei...» the blond boy murmured, his lips almost refusing to obey him because of his terror.

He'd always suspected it, actually. Even while Ichimaru was with him, Kira always had the feeling the silver-haired boy had a lover waiting for him somewhere else. Yeah, a lover. But he would have never imagined, even in his wildest dreams, that it could be a teacher... and above all the strict, terrifying Maths teacher, professor Aizen. Said man was currently glaring at him, tall and intimidating, and Kira's heart was about to burst.

«He saw us, Gin» Aizen stated, his face looking strangely attractive without his glasses. «What shall we do with him?»

Ichimaru looked pensive, while he wondered about those upsetting words, and Kira could do nothing but quiver and sweat, almost out of breath. Then, calmly, Ichimaru went to the main door of the restroom, closing it and blocking it with a stool he found in a corner. He was humming while doing that, as if he was about to do the funniest thing in the world. Kira, tough, began feeling really scared only when he saw Aizen's hostile glance turn suddenly euphoric, predatory.

«No!» he shrieked, panicked, but the man was over him before he could speak again, blocking easily his frail body with his strong arms.

«I'd never thought you could be so sly, Gin» Aizen murmured, his breath smelling of smoke and God only knew what else. «First you got some good-quality Ecstasy for me, then you blew me pretty damn well in the stall, and now... are you about to give me a triangle? And with this beauty, in addition.»

Kira tried to pull away with a groan, when Aizen's wet and repulsive tongue brushed against his temple. A shiver of disgust ran through his body, while Ichimaru kept smiling, his slitted eyes widening ever-so slightly, letting him see the blue the pupils underneath. «It's not been that easy, Sousuke-koi» he said. «I've been working on blondie here for a while. In the end, I pretty much made him fell willingly right into my arms, didn't I, Izuru?»

Kira let out a sob, while the whole situation cleared up in his mind. Ichimaru and Aizen wanted to... God, no. Kami-sama, no! It couldn't be! He realised he was crying only when he tasted his own tears on his lip.

«Ichimaru-senpai» he begged, his blue eyes wide, desperate. «Ichimaru-senpai, please, don't...»

«You are so mean, Izuru-chan» the silver-haired boy replied, his treacherous smile turning devious. «Why don't you want to play with us?»

«Stop wasting time, Gin» Aizen ordered, his eyes glassy because of the drugs. «It's not a game anymore» he hissed, pulling a terrified Kira flush against himself, his breath hot and stinking of alcohol. «Right , Kira-kun?»

«A-Aizen-sensei, please…» Kira plead, tears streaming down his face, but his heart faltered when he saw Ichimaru sliding silently behind Aizen's back, pulling him in a hot kiss, the black tie hanging from his white throat, his half-naked body shining against the darkness.

It was too much. That was the boy he loved, damn it. He was a bastard, a pervert. He had fun seducing him before throwing him away like a broken toy. He had sex with a teacher, without even worrying about keeping it a secret. He made Kira suffer desperately. But he still loved him so much he felt nothing but sheer pain, seeing him embracing Aizen-sensei...

«Ichimaru-senpai» he moaned, falling on his knees, sobbing, his heart shredded to pieces. His blonde hair adhered to his thin face, and his pale skin already showed some dark spots were Aizen gripped him previously. «Please, I'll do whatever you ask» he cried, bowing, his forehead almost touching the floor, humiliating himself just to make Gin look at him again. «Ichimaru-senpai, please, do what you want to me...»

«Good job, Gin» Aizen said, his voice oddly loud, «this time you've picked an interesting whore.»

Kira was in tears, broken. He went on crying, even while Gin was blindfolding him with his school uniform's tie, even when the last thing he saw before darkness was Aizen-sensei discarding his expensive trousers. «Don't hurt me» he begged, but when Aizen grabbed his right arm, twisting it behind his back, Kira cried out in pain, when he felt the juncture breaking with a resounding crack.

«You're too noisy» Aizen growled, caressing his buttocks. «Shut the fuck up of I'll make you regret it.»

«Poor little Izuru» Gin murmured, a cruel smile twisting his attractive face. He obscenely licked Kira's cheekbone, while looking for a nipple with his spare hand. «Always so soft and sensitive...»

Kira cried out, tears streaming down his face and neck, soaking up the blindfold, the broken wrist sending waves of pain across his body.

Before falling in a merciful unconsciousness, his last thought went to Ichigo, to his gentle caresses, his attentive and generous way to make love, his long, slow kisses...

«Ichigo» he whispered, before darkness submerged him.

«Where did Kira go?» Renji asked.

«Bathroom, I think» Ichigo replied, sipping on his drink. «And Byakuya-teme?»

«Dancing» the redhead sadly replied, glancing towards the dance floor. The elegant figure of his friend stood out in the middle of the crowd. Byakuya was simply wonderful. His raven-black hair caressed his perfectly shaped shoulders, whose skin glistened under the lights. He wore a tight, pristine white tank-top which suited his graceful body. He danced keeping his eyes closed, his face relaxed. He was so beautiful he barely looked human.

Ichigo looked at Renji, who was almost hugging the jacket Byakuya coldly gave him to keep as if he was his personal servant. He grimaced. «Then, what's the matter? Just join him» he suggested, and Renji almost laughed out loud at those words.

«I can't» he explained, his thin black eyes ex pressing nothing but sorrow.

«Renji-kun» Ichigo murmured. He understood his feelings. He kept silent, while Shuuhei joined them too, a lit cigarette between his lips.

«I've seen Kira» he announced.

«Great» Renji grumbled. «That dude is a disaster, he couldn't hold his booze even if he weighed a hundred kilos. Did he throw up?»

«He looked pretty bad, actually» Shuuhei stated, a little perplexed. «I think I've never seen him so wasted before. However, he said he was returning at the dorm to get some sleep.»

«What the heck did he drink, to get drunk so quickly?» Renji asked, casually taking Shuuhei's cigarette from the brunette's hand and inhaling the smoke. Ichigo looked at him, his mouth agape. He could have never done anything so brave without looking like a fool. He watched, transfixed, as Shuuhei took his cigarette back, pressing his lips to it as if nothing happened.

«I've seen him holding a Coke, some time ago» the tattooed boy murmured, his eyes narrowing to slits.

Ichigo frowned. Kira wasn't drunk, then. Why did he decide to return so early? He looked so happy, when they finally got out of the school. Kami only knew what happened to him. Maybe, he thought, grinning, he got a cold. Kira had that annoying habit of walking around barefoot and half-naked... Later he would go and check if he was okay. Yeah, he thought, nodding to himself. Later.

«Time to get back» Byakuya announced, bossy, reappearing at the bar to sit next to Renji. «My jacket is all crumpled» he noticed, glaring at the redhead.

«Sorry» Renji apologized, a little half-heartedly.

«And what about Kyoraku-sensei?» Ichigo asked. «Are we going to leave him here?»

«He wouldn't mind, I think. He's still locked in the privé with Ise-san» Shuuhei complained, absent-mindedly biting on his cigarette.

On the floor of the bathroom of his room, the back pressed to the cold ceramic WC, the skinny arms helplessly hugging his legs, the forehead on his knees, Kira kept sobbing desperately.

If he focused just on the pain coming from his wrist, he could feel a terrible nausea rising on his throat, so he tried pretending he didn't feel anything, to try making things better. He didn't keep any painkiller among his stuff, he just had a bottle of sleeping pills his doctor gave him when he came at the Seireitei High and he was so homesick he couldn't sleep. He really needed to see a doctor, he vaguely thought, looking at the weird angle formed by his right hand and arm. It definitely wasn't okay. It hurt atrociously. It felt strangely soft, though. Maybe something was wrong about the blood vessels too? Kira didn't know, and actually he didn't really care, while he gulped down the first pill. He blinked, feeling he was on the verge of blacking out again.

The played was shouting "The kids aren't alright" by his beloved Offspring, and he couldn't stop crying. He wept for his stupidity, for the stupidity of his hopeless love, for the pain wrecking his body and for the loneliness engulfing him. When he couldn't take it anymore, he curved on the WC and emptied the contents of his stomach. The vomit smelled like blood, he confusedly thought, finding the thing almost amusing.

If only Ichigo was with him, in that moment... his handsome, gentle Ichigo. He remembered, shivering, the warmth of his lightly golden skin, the comforting flavour of his lips... He gulped down another pill, ignoring the protests of his bowels. He just needed to sleep, and damn, he would do it. Sleep and forget, that was what he wanted in that moment. And when he woke up, Ichigo would be at his side, smiling with that gentle and generous face, the face he didn't like showing to everyone but that he didn't hesitate to show a guy like him, a stupid, masochist Izuru Kira...

Kira shook his head, laughing out loud. Who did he want to tease? Ichigo wasn't there. Indulging in those sickly sweet musings was just wrong. The truth was that he was just alone, completely alone. Ichigo didn't love him, as if he didn't love Ichigo sincerely. Kira did nothing but... the mere thought was sickening... using Ichigo to stop thinking about Ichimaru. Ichimaru, the cruel boy he was so in love with. Kira whined, while the song came to its end, the cries of the vocalist fading little by little.

«Don't go» he begged, feeling the pain become far and distant, as if it was finally going to leave him alone, «stay with me... keep me c-company...»

He couldn't even speak properly, the words came out blurred, confused. Feverishly, he grabbed the bottle of pills, clumsily taking all the remnants out of it and gulping them down without even a drop of water. He felt so empty. Empty and alone.

And he was dying, he suddenly realised. Dying...

Well, it was about time.

***

When Ichigo entered his room, the first thing he noticed was the still switched up CD player, silent. He glanced at the blue light of the display. He didn't feel like scolding Kira for his clumsiness, he was too tired. After all, it was three and a half a.m.. Before coming back, Renji, Shuuhei and him managed to convince Byakuya to wait for Kyoraku-sensei, who got out from the privé two hours later, tagging along a fairly blushing and giggling Ise-san. Ichigo scratched the back of his head, sighing, throwing his jacket on the desk. Where did that stupid Kira go? He wandered around the room, noticing his friend's shoes were neatly put near the bathroom door, left half-open.

«Kira, are you okay?» he asked, sitting on the bed and closing his eyes for a moment. When he didn't get any answer, he grimaced, standing up and walking to the bathroom. «Kira?»

He wasn't really expecting anything weird. Simply, he thought Kira wasn't too well, maybe he got a flu or something like that... but his beliefs shattered into thin pieces when he saw his body lying on the floor.

«Kira! Good God, Kira!» he cried out, running towards him, taking his head between his hands and shaking him. «Kira, what's wrong? Look at me!»

Tbc

Teaser for next chapter: «Shuuhei» Ichigo murmured, tense, «why did you rape me, that time?»