TWELVE - REBIRTH
Now Kira had no good reasons left to go on running away. He had to face reality, now. He couldn't keep avoiding Otoribashi-senpai's kind but obstinate courtship forever. The blond boy, actually, already asked him to have dinner together in the canteen.
And the mere perspective was enough to scare Kira to death.
Dinner was almost a sacred moment, to Kira, since, food apart, he really enjoyed sitting around the table with his friends. Lunch, though, was a little less intimate, because Hitsugaya used to eat a sandwich alone reading one of his books, Ayasegawa and Madarame hid somewhere to obey to their hormones' instincts and Renji and Byakuya, lately, were pretty busy with the organisation of the imminent soccer inter-school tournament.
Then, Kira usually found himself at one p.m. sitting with Ichigo and Shuuhei, feeling unpleasantly aware of his role of third wheel.
Honestly, he didn't know what to think about Otoribashi. He still couldn't guess what a guy like him could want from him. Or better, what did Ichimaru-senpai used to say? Yeah. That he wasn't made to be in a normal relationship as a normal person. He, with his "talents", could just end in a relationship which was bound to end in tragedy.
«It's because you're not particularly smart, Izuru» he used to tell him, with that sly voice of his, «and neither, sorry if I tell you, particularly cute. Your only charm point is that miserable allure you always carry around, as if you'd do nothing but expecting someone to beat you. Some people finds it very exciting, believe me. Then, if I really have to be sincere, there's only one thing you're really good at.»
And at that point, usually, he threw him on his bed and... Kira closed his eyes.
"Don't think of him. Don't think of him ever again."
It became some sort of mantra, lately, to repeat to himself in the darkest moments. Now that Ichimaru was far away, it wasn't so difficult, after all, pretending he never existed, at least during the day. It had been enough to block his calls on his cell phone, as well as his e-mails. Ichigo received all Kira's mail in his inbox, so he could eliminate all the undesired stuff.
During the night, though, everything was way more difficult.
Even now, months after he woke up from the coma, Kira still couldn't enjoy a whole night of sleep. Even Hitsugaya stopped commenting when he found him, in the morning, all curled up in Ichigo's bed. Truth be told, Kira even took the habit to steal his friend's stuffed animal, Kon, when Ichigo spent the night in Shuuhei's room. Dreams were the worst part to stand: vivid, violent, like punches in his guts. In those dreams, Ichimaru was still his world, his universe. And finding out, at his awakening, that it wasn't like that was always a terrible shock to Kira.
Maybe Ichimaru was right, even if Ichigo told him tons of times that he wasn't. Maybe all the horrible things he told him were true. Maybe Kira really wasn't made to love a normal person, but he could feel devotion only towards a monster like Ichimaru himself or Aizen-san.
Sure Otoribashi couldn't imagine something like that, about him. He couldn't, simply, because it was something too absurd even to be considered.
He sat motionless at his desk during morning class, staring at the blackboard without seeing it, his mind somewhere else. When the bell rang, he ran into his room to splash some cold water on his face, because he was again on the edge of tears.
He couldn't do it, he thought, anguished. He had to call Otoribashi-senpai and tell him, frankly, that he couldn't have lunch with him.
But then the older boy would have asked him about the reason behind that refusal, and what would he be supposed to reply then? He thought about various lies, all equally silly. He felt so stupid, sitting on his bed, staring at the cell phone he was holding in his good hand.
He just had to call, he told to himself, such an easy thing. He just had to cancel that date. But was it a date, really? It was just lunch. Maybe Otoribashi just wanted talk about music, as they did until now. But at his table, Kira suddenly remembered, used to sit Ichimaru's ex classmates, the same that molested him in the bathroom recently...
He wasn't able to call him, in the end, and he couldn't even finish writing the text he wanted to send. He went on typing and typing, and then deleting what he wrote, his eyes unfocused because of tears. He felt as if he was running straight into the arms of a new torturer, nothing more, nothing less. The scheme was bound to repeat itself, always the same. Why indulging in those pointless fantasies? Otoribashi, in the end, would have dealt with him as all the others did: treating him like an object, something to use and then waste when it wasn't funny anymore.
When he entered the canteen, he did it with a heavy heart. The ruckus and the strong smells floating in the air attacked him, nauseating him with their intensity. As usual, he avoided looking at the self-service counter, feeling a genuine horror for those mountains of food ready to be devoured from an army of voracious mouths.
It was useless denying it. It was a while he had had a problem with food.
He just had to obey to Ichigo when he filled up his tray, gulping down what he told him to eat, and nobody would ever find out...
«Hello.»
He turned abruptly, taken by surprise, and evidently his expression made his interlocutor worry, because he looked at him rather pensively. «Kira-kun, are you alright? Looks like you've seen a ghost.»
«I'm perfectly fine» Kira replied, quickly, trying to get himself together. Otoribashi stared at him, studying him with his calm blue eyes.
«Are you sure?»
Suddenly, he didn't have the strength to lie anymore. He was tired to smile to everybody and to pretend everything was alright. He just wanted to go away, to lock himself in his room and cry until he had no tears left. «No» he said, with a tiny voice.
Strangely, Otoribashi didn't look at him with despise, as he would have expected. «I kind of saw it coming» he declared with his deep voice. «I'm not that hungry as well. What about getting out of here and take a stroll in the garden? Today there's a nice sun.»
Kira looked at him, confused. That was something Ichimaru would have never said.
«Come on» Otoribashi said again, with a smile, «let's get out of here, there's too much noise. My head's going to burst.»
He almost didn't realize that the older boy gently took him by an elbow, dragging him out of the crowded canteen. He let him conduce, his head light, without even worry about where his feet were heading. He was tired, so tired. So tired he was about to burst into tears because of the mere exhaustion. Ichigo didn't sleep in their room, the night before, and neither Kon had been able to comfort him enough to send nightmares away. The sleep deprivation and obsessive thoughts didn't leave him alone.
Always avoiding touching his plaster cast, Otoribashi ushered him in the big school garden, conducing him at a magnificent gingko tree. Here, Kira's knees gave up completely, forcing him to sit, hoping that the terrible headache pounding in his temples would let him be.
«Sorry» he murmured, «I'm so sorry, senpai. I'm not feeling well.»
«It's alright» Otoribashi repeated, kind. «Take all the time you need. I don't have class, this afternoon. I can stay with you, if you like.»
Kira almost panicked, at those words. What the heck did it mean? Don't indulge in stupid illusions, he told to himself, desperate. Stop waiting for someone to come out of the blue and save your sorry ass. This dude doesn't want anything different from all the others. He just wants to sneak into your bed.
His eyes swelled with tears. He felt them running over his cheeks, without being able to do anything to stop them.
«Sorry» he repeated. «Sorry...»
«It's alright» the other quietly said. He stayed by his side as he cried, and when Hitsugaya came to see where Kira was, he found the two of them still together.
«Thank you, Otoribashi-senpai» he thanked the other, quite coldly, to be sincere. «I'll take Kira to our room, now.»
Kira was ashamed. Now Otoribashi would believe he was an idiot whom his friends needed to babysit continuously. He even felt a small pang of anger towards Hitsugaya, but it was quickly replaced by misery. He was too afraid to stare into the blonde's eyes, to see the despise it was surely gathering in them.
«Don't worry» Otoribashi surprisingly replied. «I'll come visit you later.»
Kira couldn't believe his ears. What?
Hitsugaya frowned. «I think tomorrow would be better, honestly.»
«Okay, then» Otoribashi calmly stated.
«What are your intentions, exactly?» the smaller boy asked, aggravated. «You dance aroud Kira a lot, lately. Are you by chance...»
«Tomorrow will be fine» Kira quickly interrupted him, speaking directly to Otoribashi, who looked at him with his beautiful eyes. «After dinner, in the tv room. What about it?»
The other looked happy. «Sounds good to me. I heard there'll be a movie of some sort.»
«But Kira» Hitsugaya retorted, nervous, «we were supposed to practise with the club, tonight...»
Kira had to breathe deeply not to yell at the shorter one. «I think I will skip, for once» he said, unable to tear his gaze away from Otoribashi's.
While they walked to the dorms, Hitsugaya looked nervous, and Kira really couldn't blame him. He had been disagreeable to him, before, and he wasn't surprised of that sudden silence. «Are you sure everything is okay, Kira?» Hitsugaya asked, when he couldn't take it anymore.
«Yup.» He sat on his bed, feeling strangely calm. After a little hesitation, the shorter one sat next to him.
«Is there something I can do?» he asked again. He sounded worried, and Kira couldn't stand his expression.
«I don't know» he murmured, sincere. «I really have no fucking idea.»
«Your aunt called me, yesterday. She asked me if you're eating well and if you are healthy. I think I lied a little.»
Kira closed his eyes. «Thank you.»
Hitsugaya's frown deepened. «We are all horribly worried, Kira. Really. All we want is you to be fine.»
«I know.»
«And I don't think this thing with Otoribashi will lead to anything good...»
Something snapped inside of him. He felt it break so clearly it almost caused him pain. Hitsugaya had no reasons to talk to him like that, to mother him like an infant. It was... piteous. And Otoribashi was a good guy. He felt it. He knew it, somehow. His friends needn't to think bad of him…
«What I do is not your business» he coldly stated. «Neither whom I see.»
Hitsugaya looked at him, surprised and hurt. Kira averted his gaze, staring at the ceiling. They never fought before. «Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I just think he wants to be my friend, or something like that. There's no need to worry.»
«Friend my balls» Hitsugaya snapped, standing and beginning to prepare his bed for the night. «As you like, Kira, I won't stop you. But don't expect me to approve if you just embark in another hopeless relationship.»
Kira's eyes swelled with tears. «Hitsugaya-kun» he murmured, «I'm sorr-»
«Stop lying» the other retorted, angry. «You are not sorry. You are more than willing to fall into that diva's arms. I thought I had to prevent you from hurting again, since Ichigo seems too busy to do it now, but apparently you are big enough to decide by yourself.»
«Please» Kira begged. «I didn't mean it like that...»
«Goodnight» the shorter icily replied, disappearing under the covers.
While showering and brushing his teeth, Kira's head couldn't stop spinning. Was Hitsugaya really right? Was he just running into another Ichimaru, or...? Too many questions, as usual.
Still, that feeling, in a corner of his mind: that Otoribashi didn't seem like Ichimaru.
At all.
The day after, Otoribashi invited him for lunch. This time, Kira entered the canteen perfectly on time.
He knew he looked good. Just a few minutes before, in fact, he went to the bathroom to fix his hair and uniform. He felt way more sure of himself, but he was still worried because of the fight with Hitsugaya. The little one still refused to talk to him, no matter how he tried to make up. Kira had a strange feeling about that. As if something in him was changed, not actually going worse. The passion he made in his defence of Otoribashi surprised him too, after all.
He held his breath, waiting for the food's smell to attack his nostrils, but this time it wasn't as bad as usual. Maybe it was because of the music floating in the air, "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, which he loved, or maybe because he couldn't wait to meet Otoribashi.
Well, decidedly it wasn't the second one. It couldn't be, right?
«Hello» Otoribashi greeted him. He was sitting at an empty table, alone, and he was munching on a sandwich.
Kira breathed deeply. Calm. He just needed to stay calm, and everything would have gone smooth.
«Hi» he greeted back, cautious.
«Do you want to go out?»
Kira glanced at the windows. Outside, the sky was grey and it would have started to rain in a blink. That weather usually put him in a bad mood, but this time he was determined not to spoil everything. «There's no need to. We can just stay here.»
He placed his bag on the empty chair just next to Otoribashi, taking his seat on the edge of the following one. Just in case, he thought. Just not to rush anything.
He went to the counter, feeling as if he was about to have a difficult test. Hitsugaya, the night before, had been clear: he needed to eat something, or next time he wouldn't go on lying to his aunt. Hence, he had to gulp down that horrible looking stuff, willing or not.
He chose a sandwich like Otoribashi's one, then he sat again. Soon he found himself lost in small talks, imitating the other's way of eating: a small piece at time, breaking it with his fingers before putting it into his mouth. It didn't taste as bad as he feared, and he had been starving. Since when he had been so hungry and he stopped paying attention? It was a little scary, he had to admit. No wonder his friends and relatives were dead worried.
Talking to Otoribashi was easy. He didn't need to struggle with weird pauses and silences, because words and sentences came to his mouth so naturally. It was so weird, he kept thinking. So weird. Last time he felt so good talking to someone he was with Ichigo, naked in his arms.
Otoribashi was a nice person. He liked him a lot.
If he wasn't himself, he could have just told him, and maybe it could have been the start of something really good. Wasn't it how it worked for normal people?
That was the matter, though. Kira was sure of it: Otoribashi was kind, pensive. He had something wise and warm, in his eyes, that attracted him like a magnet. And, he was now perfectly sure of it, he was completely different than Ichimaru.
Still, he was... he didn't even want to think about it.
He could not expose himself normally, it wouldn't have worked. When Otoribashi would have found out who Kira Izuru really was, he would have run away in a blink of an eye. When he was with him, he felt much better. Nicer. Older. More... normal.
Then, there was only one solution left. He needed to tie him to himself, somehow. And he didn't know many ways to do it, besides...
«The library?» Otoribashi repeated, looking at him a little surprised. «Why would you want to go there, now?»
Kira's cheeks were burning. «I like that place» he lied. «It's silent, and the sofas are comfy.» And it was mostly empty at that time of the day.
Otoribashi shrugged. «Okay» he replied, smiling. «Let's go there. I admit I never looked through the CDs collection.»
Kira followed the blonde along the corridors, his heart pounding like crazy into his temples. He was about to ruin everything, or to do something really smart. He just had to look cool and collected, and very sure of himself, and everything would have gone smoothly. Was it okay, though, being so scared? He wasn't sure.
«Wow» Otoribashi said, when they knelt to look through the audio section's catalogue in the filing cabinets. «There's some pretty interesting stuff in here. Would you like listening to something vintage, tonight?»
Kira glanced around, quickly. As he thought, nobody was around among the CDs shelves. They were alone in the dim, silent room.
«Otoribashi-senpai?»
«Uh?»
The taller boy looked at him, and Kira knew the moment had come. He closed the gap between them, almost leaning on him. He smelt good, he noticed. And his body emanated a faint heat.
He placed his hand on Otoribashi's shoulder, bringing his face closer. The casted arm made it a little difficult, but he was determined to do it.
Just a kiss, to begin with. And then...
Otoribashi chuckled lightly. «What are you doing?»
Kira froze.
In that precise moment, he realized about the actual absurdity of the whole situation. What the hell was he doing? Hitsugaya was right. He must have gone completely crazy. Or Ichimaru somehow turned him into a nymphomaniac.
«Sorry» he muttered, backing a little. «I'm so sorry, senpai. I don't know what I'm doing...»
He hid his face in his hands, desperate. He did it, in the end. He screwed it all. Otoribashi was maybe the only one who didn't think bad of him, but now...
A gentle hand came to cup his face. «Kira» Otoribashi murmured, «it's alright. Please, don't be like this.»
Kira closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the other guy pitying him. It was enough having his friends doing it. He started to cry, unable to stop.
Still, Otoribashi didn't take his hand away. He kept it on his cheek, his cool palm contrasting with Kira's burning skin.
«It's alright» he repeated, whispering. The hand moved a little, smoothing back his golden hair. «It's alright.»
Again, those words made their magic. Kira began to calm down, accepting the tissue the other handed to him and leaning on him to get some comfort. Wait... what?
When he managed to think straight again, he found himself, completely startled, in Otoribashi's arms. It was nice, though. His smell was nice, and his muscles were strong. The hug felt so different from the rare ones provided by Ichimaru's bony arms, or even by Ichigo's. He felt strangely safe, holding onto him, and he soon reciprocated the gesture, weaving his arms around Otoribashi's waist.
«Do you feel better, now?»
«Ii think so» he replied, sheepish. «I'm so sorry...»
The taller blonde smiled. «There's no need to.»
«But...»
«Kira» Otoribashi quietly said, «are you really trying to tell me you were going to sexually assault me? Because I don't think I could buy it.»
Kira laughed. He almost couldn't remember how to do it. «No, no» he reassured the other, «don't worry about that.»
«Good, then» Otoribashi murmured, tightening the embrace. Kira rested his forehead on that broad and warm chest, thinking.
«Still» he said, this time a little sadly, «I'm sorry for trying to kiss you.»
Otoribashi sighed. «And I'm sorry for not kissing you back.»
«This doesn't make much sense, does it?»
«It does.» Otoribashi sat a little straighter, holding him by his shoulders and leaning down to meet his gaze. «I want to kiss you, Kira Izuru» he said, «but not like this. I want an actual date, a real one, outside of this school. I want to make it soppy and fluffy, and so damn romantic to give you cavities. Do you get what I mean?»
Kira's head was spinning. «I... I...»
Otoribashi leaned even closer. «I mean» he whispered, «that I'm asking you out.»
«Yes» Kira replied, without even thinking, «oh, my God, yes.»
«Do you think your friends will allow me to?» Otoribashi asked, a little worried. «Maybe I should talk to that Ichigo. I don't think the little white-haired one would listen to what I say...»
Kira breathed deeply. «You don't need to. I will tell Ichigo.»
«Are you sure? I could-»
«I will tell him myself» Kira specified, «because I really want to go on a date with you.»
He felt so bold, saying it aloud, so bold and also a little stupid. But the sudden, faint blush appearing on Otoribashi's cheeks made him feel suddenly proud of himself, which was so rare, lately.
The moon was high and clear outside of the window, and Ichigo's head was resting on his lover's chest. Still, the ginger-haired's mind was far away from the bed he was sharing with Shuuhei.
«What's wrong, Ichigo?» Shuuhei asked, playing with the boy's hair.
«Kira told me he wants to go on a date with that third year» the other grumbled, his frown so deep that the brunette was almost scared it could leave a permanent mark on his smooth skin.
«And why should he ask you first?»
«Because he knows I probably wouldn't approve» Ichigo replied, irritated. «And Hitsugaya too. And Byakuya. And God knows who else.»
Shuuhei moved to pop on an elbow on the bed, next to him. «What do you know about that guy?»
«Nothing much, besides that he looks like an awfully nice dude.»
This was the brunette's time to frown. «Why so angry, then?» he asked. «You look like he asked you permission to go out with a pedo.»
Ichigo turned to face him properly. «I just don't want anything bad to happen to him anymore.»
«Not every good-looking guy walking around is another Ichimaru, you know.»
«And what does it mean?» Ichigo retorted. «Do you think that jerk was handsome?»
Shuuhei sighed theatrically. «You know what I meant.»
«Yeah, I do» Ichigo dimly confirmed. «Do you want to know what bothers me the most?»
Shuuhei's hand travelled lower, caressing his lover's cheek. «Tell me.»
«Kira didn't ask me, actually. He kind of... informed me he wanted to go out with Otoribashi. That's it.»
Shuuhei blinked. «And what are we supposed to think of this?»
«I have no idea, really. I sort of like seeing him so determined, it was so sad the way he kept apologizing to everyone and slumping around as if he thought shit of himself. But, honestly... I think he's already too far involved with this guy. What if he turns worse than what we imagine? Or if he isn't as nice as he seems? I'm so worried, Shuu. What if things go really wrong? Kira would end up crushed again.»
Shuuhei stayed silent for a while, pondering those words. «I don't know, actually» he murmured. «I asked a few seniors I know, and they all agreed that Otoribashi is an okay guy.»
Ichigo scoffed. «This doesn't help me.»
The brunette snuggled closer. «Ichi» he said, gently, «I think Kira deserves our trust, don't you think?»
«Sure he does» Ichigo began, rather angrily, «but... oh.»
Shuuhei smiled. «Yeah, just like that. He's not stupid, we all know it. He can recognize another monster, after what he went through. And if, as you said, he's so determined to date this Otoribashi, I think we should really let him.»
Ichigo agreed with him. Or better. He had stared at Shuuhei's lips for the last few seconds, since his brain stopped working when the other called him "Ichi". For some reason, he loved that nickname. Shuuhei's mouth made it sound so nice.
And he was right, obviously. He always was.
«Okay then» he said. «Tomorrow I'll talk to him. But can I ask you a thing first?»
«What kind of thing?»
«Can you kiss me right now?»
Shuuhei leaned onto him, stretching out an arm to switch off the lights. «Sure, baby» he murmured. «It's been a while I wanted to...»
In the end, it happened for real.
Otoribashi appeared in front of his room's door, just a couple minutes late, wearing a nice sweatshirt which looked like new. He greeted Ichigo and Hitsugaya, who were inside, and led Kira out. Dinner and movie, nothing particularly original, but Kira couldn't believe his own excitement. On their path to the restaurant – a Korean-style place Otoribashi loved - their hands, naturally enough, as if on their own, came to clasp together. Otoribashi's was bigger and warmer, and Kira's tiny fingers almost disappeared into the third year's big palm, but it was okay like this. They chatted about everything that came to their minds, while they ate. Actually, Kira tasted some Korean delicatessen he never had before, and he loved it a lot. «We should come here often, after tonight» he said, gaining a happy smile from Otoribashi.
«I hope so.»
«On to the movie, then?»
The theatre was almost empty, since the movie debuted a while ago. It was something foreign with lots of fights, wandering bullets and spectacular moves, but Kira wasn't really paying attention to the plot. His mind was elsewhere, focused on the guy silently sitting next to him.
At a certain moment, he couldn't refrain himself. He reached out and kissed Otoribashi's smooth cheek, once, then twice, then he just put his lips on that warm skin and remained completely motionless. He couldn't believe the intensity of the feeling, the desire gathering in his abdomen. Otoribashi's hand came to grab his one, just as before, and when the senior turned, their mouths finally met in a gentle, exploring kiss.
Kira thought he was going to faint. It was too much... but he wanted more. And this time, it didn't feel sick or wicked. It was just natural, healthy attraction. And it was purer than all the emotions he went though in the last few months.
The movie ended at half past ten, and they had to run back to the dorms, to avoid being scolded, since the curfew was at eleven.
«It's been so nice, Otoribashi-senpai» Kira murmured, lingering on the stairs, unwilling to let go of the other boy to return alone into his room. «Really. I enjoyed the night.»
Their noses were touching, and he could even feel, from time to time, the faint brush of a soft lock of hair on his face.
«Me too.»
«I wonder if…»
They both averted their gaze, a little embarrassed by the awkwardness of the moment. Still, the uncomfortable feeling didn't last more than a few seconds, because when Kira raised his face, he found himself staring in Otoribashi's blue eyes again.
«I still have no roommates» the senior softly confirmed.
Kira held onto his hand. «Then» he slowly murmured, «I'd like to see your bedroom.»
They kissed while they walked. They kissed while Otoribashi unlocked the door, and they didn't stop even when, in the complete darkness, they tripped and fell on the floor.
«Oh fuck» Otoribashi said, panting a little, «I was almost forgetting.»
Kira groaned, when the taller boy stood up to rummage in his closet. «Aww, come back here!»
«Yeah, yeah. I first need to find something...»
Kira didn't know what to expect, actually. He thought about various things – condoms, primarily – but he was totally unprepared, when Otoribashi switched up the light and appeared in front of him, smiling and kneeling on the floor, with a small package in his hand. «This is for you. It's our first date, after all. I wasn't so sure about it... though, I knew flowers would have been a little clichés.»
Kira stared at the gift, unable to speak. «Shall... shall I open it now?»
«Sure.»
He took the small box with trembling hands. He struggled with the ribbon – which was plain, dark blue, anything girly – and the untied it. He stared at the content, baffled. «I... I...»
«Let me see how it looks on you» Otoribashi said, excited as a little kid on Christmas' day, lifting the necklace that was inside and clipping it around Kira's throat. It was nice, a small leather cord with a Chinese character pendant.
«What does it mean?» Kira asked. His head felt light and empty as a balloon.
Otoribashi looked proud of his pick. «I looked through a little in my Chinese dictionary» he confessed, «but in the end I think I did the right choice. It means "rebirth", actually.»
Kira knew it already, since he was rather fluent in Mandarin. But hearing that word from Otoribashi's mouth made his eyes swell with tears.
«Otoribashi-senpai, I...»
«Roujuro. Please. Call me Roujuro.»
«Roujuro» Kira breathed, wiping his eyes on his fist. «I...»
So many words were on the tip of his tongue, but they all looked off, in a moment like that. Nobody ever did something like this for me. I don't deserve this. I'm way worse than what you think. I'm far from being reborn from my ashes. I should get up and return to my room and stay away from a wonderful man like you who doesn't need to get involved with scum like me...
But Roujuro was right, actually. He wasn't anymore the wimpy guy who allowed Ichimaru and Aizen dispose of him as they liked. In the end, he did change for real. And he became... stronger, somehow. And he had the distinct feeling it was because of his friends' help, sure, but also because of the boy who was sitting on the floor in front of him.
«Roujuro» he murmured, holding the pendant in his hand, «I think I love you.»
Surprisingly enough, the other let out a noisy sigh of relief. «I was so scared you would have ran away» he admitted, smiling broadly, and Kira gave up completely on keeping his control, and threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly. «I love you too.»
Kira panted a little, while the other's mouth raised to caress his temple. «We barely know each other, actually» he said, letting out a trembling laugh. He was so happy he had to continuously remind himself to breathe.
«What I see is already enough» Otoribashi reassured him, his lips teasing his hairline, his ample forehead, his earlobes. «You are handsome. Sensitive. Kind. Frail, also, but you are good at hiding your iron soul. You don't need to pretend you're different from what you are, because you are beautiful just as you are.»
Kira closed his eyes. Those words were exactly what he had been waiting for. «Am I that beautiful» he teased, waving his casted arm, «even with this horrible thing?» His sniffing didn't make the question sound as smart as he had wished, though.
As an answer, Otoribashi kissed him deeply, leaving him breathless.
Hitsugaya was in a horrible mood.
Ichigo, that idiotic dandelion head, wasn't in their room, surely screwing somewhere with his boyfriend. And God only knew where Kira was, since lately he looked all lovey-dovey with that tall dude that made him lose his mind.
Actually, he felt rather lonely. It was rare, that their triple bedroom was totally empty. He had nobody to scold or to advice. For a second – the quickest one – he considered the idea of knocking at Renji and Byakuya's door, but he decided it wasn't a good idea. What if he would have interrupted something? It was pretty late. And he really didn't want to be scarred to life by the sight of Renji's naked ass.
Also, he felt a little guilty. He hadn't been nice to Kira, last time, especially considering that, in the end, Otoribashi-senpai was really a nice guy. A perfect match for Kira, actually. And thinking he told him to reject him...
Well, no great problems with that. He just needed to apologize to the blondie, and everything would be fine. Yeah, sure. Or at least he hoped so.
He sighed, sitting on his futon. Kira was one of his best friends since middle school. It would have been a real shame, losing him in a moment like that...
His hand touched something hard under the soft comforter. He looked under the cover, and he found a thick envelope.
And now, what the fuck was that? A love letter? Maybe stupid Ichigo pulled a prank on him, or something.
Irritated, he was about to threw everything in the waste bin without even opening, but then he noticed the writing on the envelope, and he recognized Kira's handwriting. He tore it open, feeling strangely anxious.
Then, what he read made him blink so much that he thought something went into his eye (he really wasn't one of those sissies who could cry for a letter, no way).
It didn't say much, actually. No apologies, no sad, guilt and angst-filled long sentences in perfect Kira's style.
There were only two words, actually.
Thank you.
TBC
Super long chapter! And sorry for the equally long wait! I really have to say thanks to all the girls who commented on this weird story, you're the best, really! 3333
And now... on to the final chapter! So... no teaser, this time. I don't wanna spoil anything. _-
