Chapter 5: Operation: Losing Your Dick
"They found her." That was all he needed to hear to get himself off the stoop. The cops told Noodle Panic was at the mental hospital inside London Royal Hospital. As much as Murdoc wanted to go and get her he was sure that the hobknocker Kyle had defenses in place in case him and his friends tried anything. So they had to be smart if they were going to break her out; they needed to have a plan. After he took a dump which he was sure to tell everyone Murdoc sat at the table in their messed up kitchen with everyone. The quartet argued for a few hours over what kind of plan they needed. He suggested they blow the place up and pull her out of the wreckage but Russel pointed out she could get hurt. 2-D said he should check in with her and steal the keys from someone and break out but Murdoc argued he would be watched like a hawk from a brief personal experience. Noodle suggested she just run in there with her katana and cut down everyone in her way but again Russel argued that maiming everyone isn't a good plan in the event they sedate her. Russel had the best idea though, he said the plan should be they go up to the hospital at visiting hours and talk to her. Then when the visiting time is up they take her out with them and if anyone gave them shit Murdoc could cut them with Panic's knives death, pain, and psycho. Everyone knew Murdoc carried those knives on him all the time after the accident that caused Panic to disappear in the first place. Before they left Murdoc made sure to carry a lemon in his pocket everyone else just rolled with it for the time being. Still Russel's sounded like a good idea in the long run until they got to the hospital with flowers and everything to find out they weren't on the visitors list for Panic; they were escorted out by a security guard. As they were leaving they walked by a supply closet, Noodle had a better idea. Soon 2-D and Russel were pushing a laundry cart back up to the mental hospital while wearing some scrubs. Murdoc and Noodle were hiding inside the laundry bags in the cart. If this worked… When they reached the door to the mental ward a nurse stopped them.
"How can I 'elp ya dearies?" She eyed them up and down looking skeptical.
"We uh…got some clean laundry for tah uh…mental word for yu." 2-D mumbled smiling under the medical mask he was wearing as the woman continued with the skeptical look before taking the cart.
"Alright then thanks 'ave a nice day both of ya." She took the cart into the medical ward without another thought; phase one complete. The next step was going to be a bit harder though. Murdoc and Noodle had to get out of the cart without being seen. The cart had stopped rolling before they heard more voices.
"'ey Mary wot's up with tah cart?"
"Nothin' special some blokes in scrubs brought it up sayin' there was clean laundry in 'ere."
"Laundry wozn't supposed to come up till tomorrow. I guess they 'ired a few new blokes to work the linens on Sunday."
"I'm still just gonna leave tah cart 'ere till tomorrow not my job tah change tah sheets."
"Yeah," There was a laugh, "Wot ya think of that girl Charlotte? She's got that snob comin' in 'ere everyday tellin' 'er 'ow much he loves her; bringin' 'er flowahs an' jewelry. I don't see why she's with 'im I tell ya wot." Murdoc had to hold in his rage.
"Ya know who she looks like that chick who was datin' that bloke from that band wot woz it… tah monkeys or somethin'?"
"Ohhh ya mean tah Gorillaz! Yeah she does! I wondah wot 'appened tah them they made some good music." Murdoc smiled to himself as the woman complimented his music.
"I don't know either let's get outta 'ere though tah boss'll be lookin' fer us soon." The voiced stopped and the sounds of footsteps walking away were heard. When they heard a door close Murdoc took out one of Panic's knives and sliced the bag open. He sliced open the other bag and helped Noodle climb out. They were both wearing scrubs themselves hoping to blend in but as soon as they walked out the door to the storage room they were spotted instantly… by Panic…
"Hey don't I know you from somewhere? You think you could tell me where I am maybe even who I am?" The pair looked at her in shock.
As Russel and 2-D discarded the scrubs they sat in the waiting room hoping Murdoc and Noodle would be alright carrying out the rest of the plan. It was at that moment a doctor came into the room.
"You two, are you waiting for someone?" He had an American accent in his voice. They just sat there hoping the guy didn't call them out on their plan.
"Yeah our friend is up in the mental hospital and we're waiting on our other friends to check her out." The doctor looked at them suspiciously before looking over his shoulder and sitting down with them.
"Are you talking about the girl with the blue and green hair?" They nodded, "You need to get her out of here now. That guy in the sweater vests who keeps visiting her is planning on replacing the memory chip in her head."
"Mind tellin' us wot a memory chip is?"
"It's a chip that was made illegal as of five years ago. They were designed to help patients with brain problems. But once they became public an American military company modified them to be used to control someone. When the U.N. heard they were using them on prisoners they deemed them illegal everywhere." Russel and 2-D looked at each other with much concern.
"So why is it bad if he gets it replaced? Other than the fact that he's controlling her like a puppet?"
"If that chip gets replaced it will be the psychological equivalent of a lobotomy," They looked at him confused, "That means she'll become a vegetable pretty much brain dead. She'll have to be on life support till she dies. Those chips weren't meant to last more than a few months but that chip in her head has been there for four years and a few months at this point. He's worn the chip out where it doesn't always work."
"Doesn't always work?"
"Whenever sweater vest says or anyone for that matter the exact code phrase 'squid scented jellyfish' Charlotte will pass out and completely forget the past twenty four hours. In the first hour of her waking up you have one hour to tell her what happened, meaning you can lie, or simply not say anything and let her think the previous day never happened. That's why these chips were such a problem. Her brain was already so fragile when sweater vest brought her in here four years ago, the memory chip didn't help at all. If anything it's been hindering her recovery."
"Wot ya tellin' us all this for?"
"I've been watching that man abuse that poor chick for four years get her out of here as soon as you can. I promise if you have to illegally smuggle her out of here I will never speak a word to anyone."
"Uh yeah luv I'm doctah Doc an' I'm 'ere tah take ya 'ome." He smiled putting an arm around my shoulders leading me down a hallway.
"Doctor Doc sounds kind of redundant… whatever that means…" Whoever this was I liked him.
"I'm aware luv." He grumbled as they walked me to a door. A nurse came out of the nurse's station and blocked our path.
"Oi where in tah name of tah queen ya think ya blokes is goin'?!" She glared angrily at us until Dr. Doc turned back to look at the short little girl behind him. He nodded to her and the air was filled with smoke. I was picked up bridal style and carried out of the mental ward. Suddenly there was a loud ringing sound in the air.
"Shit I fergot about tah alarm! Noodle covah us! I'm gonna take 'er 'round tah back staircase! Meet us in tah parkin' lot in ten minutes by tah Stylo!" The guy carrying me spoke to the short girl as she threw another round thingie making more smoke. I was carried deeper into the hospital down twisting hallways going to this 'back staircase'. Before my captor could open the door someone else did. He looked like a nerd in a blue and white striped shirt and a lighter blue sweater vest over it.
"I was wondering when I would see you! I knew you were going to try something today so I went with my gut and climbed the back stairs to the mental ward. Give her back to me right now her memory chip needs to be replaced. She is my property now so hand her back." The nerd demanded. I had no idea who he was but I'm no one's property! Dr. Doc set me down on my feet and got in front me pulling out a knife with psycho carved into the side.
"Ya wont 'er come get 'er ya ugly wankstain!" The nerd's face didn't even read scared as he charged at Dr. Doc. Doc tackled him to the floor before using the knife to cut all his clothes off. The guy had a dick with no balls I wonder what happened to him! Doc took the knife and held it to the guy's dick.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Nerd screamed rather loudly as some doctors and nurses came around the corner. They all stopped in their tracks watching Dr. Doc in horror.
"Ya fuckin' wankstain stole me lady, ya fucked wif 'er 'ead, an' locked 'er away in a mental 'ospital when there woz nothin' wrong wif 'er in tah first place! Ya dirty 'obknockah 'ave a dick tah match wif ya balls!" Doc screamed laughing manically as he cut off nerd's dick. He was screaming in pain twice as bad when Doc pulled out a yellow fruit cut it in half and smeared it on the red hole where his dick was leaving him there to suffer. Doc put the knife away and picked me up again covered in the guy's dick blood, running down the back stairs but not before taking the severed dick and sticking it in the guy's mouth. Once we were in the main lobby we stopped at the waiting room. There were four people sitting here another guy in a white coat and three people in the same kind of clothes as Doc. Only they weren't covered in blood. The three in the green clothes got up instantly on site and ran outside with us. There was a car waiting in the front parking lot where we all climbed in really fast as some other cars with blue and red lights flashing on top were pulling into the parking lot. We were soon driving over the front lawn of the hospital in a reckless fashion out into the street almost hitting one of the cars with the lights. Who the hell were these people and why was I so important to them? The guys in the cars with the lights were coming after us as I am sure we were breaking the law. This chase went on for a few hours around London before we ditched the cars with the lights driving in an alleyway and ditching the car in an abandon parking garage.
"Ok before we move on I need to know who you people are and if someone could refresh my memory on who I am that would be nice too." The four people turned back and looked at me after they discarded the weird green clothes they had over their other clothes.
"Yur name's Panic an' I'm 2-D, that's Murdoc, Noodle, an' Russel." The one with the two dark holes for eyes answered before the one he called Murdoc put his arm around my shoulders as we continued to walk. On the way to wherever we were going I managed to puke a total of six times. When we reached our destination we were at a house that looked like it had seen better days. I didn't care though as long I was out of that mental hospital. They took me inside and made sure to close the curtains on all the windows and locked all the doors.
"Ok why did you bring me here? Why am I so important to all of you?" I demanded answers; this was one of the most frustrating days of my life that I could remember.
"Oi luv relax ya safe now, ya 'ome wif ya good friends an' I promise on me life that nothin' bad'll 'appen tah ya I swear." I looked at him then to the others they all nodded with smiles. Despite the crazy day I've had I felt like I could trust these people and I was ok with staying here. I smiled back suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion and the desire to sleep forever. Murdoc noticed this and lead me upstairs to what I was assuming was his bedroom letting me sleep there. Murdoc went back downstairs and sat with everyone at the kitchen table.
"Muds she con barely remember 'er own name wot we gonna do?" Here 2-D went off again pointing out the obvious.
"I know that faceache an' I don't care 'ow long it takes fer 'er tah get 'er memory back a second time it's me job now tah take care of 'er an' I'm not losin' 'er again." He sighed sitting at the end of the table after grabbing a beer.
"But aren't we getting foreclosed?" Russel spoke up.
"Yeah we are but I found out that wankstain Kyle did somethin' good fer once an' 'ad Panic's 'ouse paid fer in full along wif all tah taxes fer the next few years. I say we move next door into 'er place until then unless ya blokes wont tah murder our landlord?" Murdoc put up a good argument; why not move next door since Panic's house was the same size as theirs and it was all paid for long enough they could decide where their music career was going to take them.
