Chapter 6: Up on Melancholy Hill

2-D and Russel told Murdoc and Noodle everything the doctor had told them about the memory chip in her head. There was no way they could afford to get the chip out so they had to wait and hope she remembered. It was a year he waited; a whole year later where they waited after moving into Panic's place. Her memory was getting better every day; she could remember what happened on previous days and names, but she still woke everyone now and then with her night screams. It was ok because she was back in the company of her friends and her lover. Murdoc wanted to fuck her brains out every night but he thought she would get scared and run off getting lost again. So he decided to take it slow and just act as friends until the day her memory came back. Today was a day just like any other, 2-D and Russel were playing video games, Noodle was practicing her guitar, and Murdoc was sitting in a chair by the front window smoking a cigarette. Everyone had a sense of calm until they heard a very loud scream from the bathroom next to Panic's room. Murdoc was the one to run up the stairs to find Panic standing there looking into the bathtub with an angered look on her face.

"Dolly you little shit I thought you were gonna stop leaving your bloody fucking head everywhere!" He looked at her and smiled. She never changed even with a lost memory. He knew all about Dolly she told him one night when they were drunk six years ago about how she laughs like a demon and cuts her head off leaving it everywhere for her to find and scream about.

"Ya alright luv?" I turned to look at the voice as it spoke. Murdoc was standing in the door with a smile on his face. I just screamed why would you be smiling?

"I'm fine Murds just Dolly being the little cunt she is." I smiled back before pushing him out of the bathroom closing the door behind him.

"Oi luv ya don't wont tah showah wif me?" He said in a joking voice. Strangely enough I'd be ok with it but I didn't want to admit it. Right now I just wanted to shower alone so I could think. Although my memory has gotten better I still can't remember much before the past year. Only a few tidbits of memories, only fragments that didn't line up. I liked these people who were living with me but I wanted to know more about why I felt so comfortable with them. The only way I was going to do that was to try and remember myself.

"Hahaha…no I want to be alone right now Murds." It was then I noticed it was starting to rain outside. I opened the bathroom door walking past Murdoc going further up the stairs to the door that went to the roof where I sat looking over the edge of the building to the street below. It was only an hour until I felt no rain falling on me; I looked up to see Murdoc with an umbrella over us and a radio in hand.

"I know ya said ya wonted tah be alone luv but sometimes when I wont tah be alone I really just wont tah company of othahs. If ya still wont tah be alone I understand but I thought ya might enjoy some company an' some good music." It was times like this where I appreciated his advice. Motioning for him to sit he sat next to me looking over the edge to the street along with me. We sat there in silence for a few minutes until Murdoc turned around putting the radio on. A song came on that sounded really familiar.

~Up on melancholy hill

There's a plastic tree

Are you here with me?

Just looking out on the day of another dream~ The song was quite catchy and nice; it made me feel happy despite the meaning of melancholy.

"I like this song it's nice." I laid down on the wet roof uncaring of the fate of my clothes.

"I know ya do luv, if I recoll it woz ya favorite before ya lost ya memory." I smiled as he laid down too; now we were staring at the top of the umbrella.

"Really?"

"Yeah it woz, ya played it all the time back on Plastic Beach. Ya remembah Plastic Beach? It woz our 'ome fer a long time ya know?" I looked over at him confused we lived on a beach made of plastic?

"Plastic Beach…. Hmmmm…. Whenever I close my eyes sometimes I see a pink beach made out of something other than sand. Is that it? A beach made of plastic out on the ocean?"

"It woz made of plastic I spray painted it pink coz I thought it looked cool." He laughed a little looking back at me.

"Why don't we live there now?"

"I'll tell ya it woz some blokes I screwed ovah who came an' trashed the place wif planes an' bombs. That's 'ow we lost ya in tah first place. Ya woz knocked out wif somethin' then ya fell into tah ocean an' I couldn't find ya. I 'ad no time to look fer ya I'm sorry luv. I did go back a week later an' scavenged tah wreckage tah see if anyone woz still there though." Part of me wanted to be mad at him for not looking but the other part of me was telling me to let it go it was in the past and my friends are here now why should I be mad?

"You think maybe you could tell me about how you met me? I've been curious since the day you broke me out of that mental hospital a year ago." He sat up and looked over at me I was assuming this was going to be a long one.

"Yeah I'll tell ya tah story… foxtrott…. It woz seven years ago now that me an' tah mates were up on shore gettin' supplies fer Plastic Beach…"


Flashback:

We were walking around the local town getting food and stuff to go back to the island with going from shop to shop like nobody's business. It was all fine and dandy till we stopped in a bar. That was when we saw you. Your hair was what caught my attention besides the sounds of your struggling. When I saw your eyes you gave a look of give me a fucking hand or you're losing your dick if I get out of this. So I decided to help you. I turned to my mates who were off in other corners of the bar talking to fans. When I turned back you and the burly bastards were gone and I was surrounded by a bunch of squealing fangirls. Since they wouldn't leave me and the rest of my mates alone I kind of forgot about you for a little while. That was until we left the bar two hours later. We continued shopping for the island and when it was time to leave that's when we saw you with the same hobknockers from the bar. You were in chains and had a for sale sign hanging around your neck. The bigger guy had a black eye which later you told me you caused. I remembered you the instant I saw your hair; Noodle was the one that suggested we help and came up with a plan. I walked over to the guys and started chatting them up like I was interested.

"Oi 'ow much ya blokes wont fer tah bitch?" The two guys looked at me with sadistic grins which I didn't enjoy since I was the master of sadistic and homicidal grins at that time.

"How much ya willing to pay? She's top choice; a proper virgin too."

"Name ya price ya wankah."

"350 whatever ya English call it…squids?"

"Nah mate ya mean quid. But that's all 350 quid? I bet if I bought 'er I'd make twice as much turnin' 'round an sellin' 'er fer double." It was at this point your eyes looked at me with such anger, if only looks could kill I would have been dead right then. The two guys looked so pissed only just before Noodle walked up behind them. She gave them a swift punch to the back of the head knocking them out cold. The keys had tumbled out of the guys pocket so we unlocked you just in time for more of their cronies to come out of an alleyway and chase after us. So we took you with us when we climbed in our submarine back to Plastic Beach. On our way back a bunch of great white sharks were attacking our sub so we had to go on the offense. When we surfaced the sharks were swimming around us in circles so we had to kill them. 2-D was cowering in fear in the back afraid of getting eaten. Russel was super huge from some radioactive crap he ingested or something and Noodle was sleeping. So I pulled you up on top and taught you how to use Noodle's machine gun. It would have been easier to show you if you weren't drunk out of your fucking mind. Once we killed the six great whites, who the people who kidnapped you were controlling with weird mind control things on their heads, we made it back to Plastic Beach in one piece. It was when we landed we could finally ask some questions. We were sitting on the edge of the island up top looking out to the ocean.

"So you got a name or should we make one up for you?" Noodle asked looking at you with a strange look on her face.

"You can call me Charlotte Fox. Although some fucking people just fucking call me Charlie even though I fucking hate that a whole fucking lot. Charlie is such a fucking guy name that it bothers me when people fucking call me that. I mean it's just like I can put your fucking head through the fucking table so call me by my fucking actual name you fucking little cunt." I smiled like a homicidal maniac when you finished because of how many times you said fuck in the span of a minute. It gave me a bit of a warm fuzzy feeling inside like I had just found my new partner in crime.

"Woah yu wanna cut back on tah fucks fer a bit? Yur not in any danger so yu don't need tah get violent." You glared at 2-d pulling out one of your three knives, death, pain, and psycho as you cleverly named them, from your bra.

"Never fucking tell me I have a fucking problem with fucking saying fuck. It's my fucking favorite word. If you fucking think I have a fucking problem then fucking say it bitch!" I was in stitches you were just so amusing when you spoke. 18 fucks in under five minutes it was wonderful.

"Well either way let me introduce ya tah me mates. Name's Murdoc. We also got Russel who is down there an' fer some reason real fuckin' 'uge, Noodle sittin' ovah there, an' this is faceache."

"Actually it's 2-D."

"Why the hell they call you 2-D? What do you fucking have a two dimensional personality or you got dual personality disorder?" Again you put me in stitches.

"It's because uhm Murdoc 'ere kind of 'urt me long time ago an' caused me to 'ave empty eye sockets. I can still see though."

"Lucky you I can't see shit out of my left eye. Blinder than a fucking bat. Lost the fucking thing to some cunt who fucking threw a baseball through my fucking window. Let's just say the fucker needs a wheelchair now." 2-D gave you such a look I thought the boy shat his pants.

"Well we're about tah 'ave ourselves a party so why don't ya stay fer a bit? We'll be playin' drinkin' games real soon." The smile on your face gave mine a run for its money.

"You got a deck of cards? We can play strip."

"Ya mean strip pokah?"

"No I fucking mean strip, it's a game I learned in high school. Its real fun." Hours later we were sitting at the table in the kitchen playing that game strip. It was a cross between Egyptian rat, bullshit, and drug dealer as you put it. The best game I've ever played. Faceache was down to his underwear you still had on your top and panties and I was already naked trying to win back my shit from Noodle who hadn't lost a single round. We were all drunk out of our fucking minds at this point laughing like fucking hyenas. I didn't want the night to end hanging out with you was the most fun I had in a long time. You were so crude, rude, and sarcastic. But I knew if you were even the slightest bit different I would have thrown you off the island. We wound up staying up most of the night watching horror films you recommended after you illegally pirated them off of pirate bay. And when we went to bed that night we found out why you were sort of off. It was about four in the am when everyone was woken up by a loud homicidal screaming. Rushing into the living room where we left you to sleep on the couch you were just lying there not moving around but just screaming. Noodle was the one that walked over and put a pillow on your face. You shot up right away before looking around the room in horror.

"Oh shit was I screaming in my fucking sleep again?" When I heard you say again I knew it was going to be the makings of a beautiful friendship. The next day when the sun came up and everyone was awake you were standing down on the dock asking to go home.

"Yu con't go 'ome last night was so much fun."

"2-D I really fucking like all of you but I need to get back to my fucking vacation that isn't really a fucking vacation because I'm fucking working…"

"Wot yu mean yur workin' on yur vacation?"

"Exactly what I fucking mean I work for a fancy fucking place of business who fucking hired me to send me around the fucking world to establish business relations with other fucking companies. It's so fucking boring! Business suits and crap I can't take it anymore!"

"Then why don't you stay here with us?" Noodle had come over to beg.

"But what about my fucking responsibilities to the fucking company that fucking pays me fucking shit. LIKE THE LITTLE CUNTS THAT THEY ARE THOSE TWATS WILL FUCKING PAY!" You then threw your cellphone into the water screaming after it.

"So luv ya wont tah stay on Plastic Beach wif us or not?"

"Will there be more fucking booze?"

"If ya wont."

"Where do I fucking sign?" I smiled like a homicidal maniac because the next two years were the most memorable in my whole life. Pranks, animal murder, movie marathons that scared the crap out of 2-D, the crazy deserts you could make, you and me even had a few nights in the sub where we were drunk out of our fucking minds for Satan's sake. Then there was a special day four months after you decided to stay. You were swimming in the ocean with 2-D and I was back inside trying to figure some things out. I was having this weird feeling in my stomach when I looked at you and when I thought about you. So I called Noodle down to my room.

"Noods I'm 'avin' a problem."

"Aren't you always having a problem with something?"

"Yeah but this one's different."

"Different how?"

"I mean when I look at Panic I get a weird feelin' in my stomach. It also 'appens when I think about 'er. All I wont tah do is vomit everywhere! Am I sick?" She started laughing at me like no one's business.

"Oh my god you're in love! I didn't even think you were capable of loving anything other than yourself, your drugs, your booze, and hitting 2-D into Stockholm syndrome!"

"So wot ya sayin' is I'm in luv wif Panic?"

"Yeah you're in love with her I think I'll go post on my twitter that Murdoc actually has emotions!" She left right after and actually posted on her twitter that it was breaking news I could feel emotions other than homicidal rage. I knew though I had to tell you how I felt or I would just keep feeling sick whenever I looked at you. That night you were out on the dock dancing to yourself with the radio playing our recent album 'Plastic Beach'. More specifically you were dancing to the song 'Stylo'. I was going to tell you how I felt but I thought you would turn me down so I walked away before you saw me. Russel saw this and despite his size started talking to me.

"I take it you're not going to tell her how you feel?"

"'Ow did ya know I 'ad feelings fer 'er?"

"I didn't ya just told me." He chuckled right after I wanted to punch him.

"I'm not tellin' er anything she might wont tah leave Plastic Beach because she thinks I'm creepy or somethin'."

"If ya don't tell her how ya feel ya might never know if she liked ya back." I sighed realizing he was right so I ran my hand down my face and took a deep breath walking back to where you were still dancing this time to 'Superfast Jellyfish'.

"Oi where'd ya learn tah dance like that?" I mean your moves were really impressive to say the least.

"You're looking at the fucking chick who has the world fucking record for the highest damn score in Dance Dance Revolution thank you very fucking much." You smiled at me laughing a bit before sitting down on the dock patting the spot next to you.

"Do ya now? Maybe ya con show me a few moves later?" I was obviously hinting at something dirty but you didn't pick up on it.

"Depends can you handle heavy mode or you one of those beginner little shits who try to outshine me by showing up with their moms so they can have her tell me off when I win?"

"I don't know nevah played personally. More of a shooting game kind of person meself." It was right then 'On Melancholy Hill' came on.

"Oh I love this song, one of my favorites." You were kind of off in your own little world tapping your feet to the beat and moving your head along with it. Your eyes were closed so you couldn't see the slight embarrassment on my face for what I was going to do next.

"I'm glad ya like it luv but I got somethin' I need tah tell ya." Then you made the embarrassment worse when you turned your head to look at me.

"Go on."

"Look Panic whenever I look at ya I feel sick tah my stomach. Like I wont tah puke…" You raised your eyebrow before frowning angrily, "Wot I mean tah say was I guess I sorta… kind of… like ya. I mean like more than a friend is the best way to put it…"

"So the homicidal maniac has a soft side after all," You smiled then leaned over and kissed me, "Good I'm glad you feel the same way I'm not good with words and was going to put it off till later." That night I had taken you to my bedroom and well let's just say there was a dent in the wall from the headboard and every night after that the dent got a little bigger.

End flashback


"That was a great story wanna tell it again?" I smiled at him jokingly wondering if I would ever get my memory back. I had thought a few times about suing Kyle for what he's worth but I think he got his just deserts when Murdoc chopped his dick off and squeezed lemon juice in the wound.

"If ya ever ferget again luv I'll tell ya a million times ovah."

"Murdoc."

"Yeah luv?"

"You ever think my memory will come back?"

"I'm sure it will luv I promised ya I'd take care of ya until it did so we wait."

"I mean I just sound like a really cool person and I would like to get back to being that level of awesome you know what I mean?"

"I do know wot ya mean an' would luv tah 'ave ya back tah ya old self, but if it means waitin' then I'll wait till tah end of time fer ya."

"Why would you wait so long though?"

"Well coz… I well… sort of… well I…"

"Jesus broskii spit it out!"

"I luv ya Panic Charlotte Fox!" He shouted so loud it echoed off the empty street. It for some reason felt rather comforting to hear those words. I smiled at him still before he tackled me down and began making out with me. Let's just leave this bit at the headboard finally went through the wall.