Hi everyone. I think that this is it. I think this wrapped it all up nicely. What do you think? Is it okay to stop here? If no, what should the next (and definitely last) chapter be? Leave me some feedback if ya can :) Apologies for any mistakes, I'm about to go to bed and wanted to post it before I fall asleep.
"Okay," Trevor smiled as he turned his phone off. He looked at his wife who sat on the bed seeming strangely relaxed. He figured it was his sister's influence. He could usually tell if she was holding something back, but she just looked to him for information. "The midwife said that she wants to hear from us again when the contractions are around 7 minutes apart. Do you have an idea how far apart they are at the moment?"
Olivia just shook her head, no.
"I actually timed the one she had in the bathroom," Zoe told them both looking back down at her watch, "it was over 10 minutes ago now, we're good. They told me to come to the hospital when mine were three to five minutes apart with Adeline so I think it sounds about right," she smiled re-assuringly.
Olivia rose an eyebrow, "That's too crazy. I don't want to have my baby in a cab. I think even 10 minutes sounds nuts."
"No, its normal, but given your history and how much you've shared with the midwife, I'm sure they just want you there to make sure you're not stressed and your BP stays at a normal rate for the baby."
Amanda and Margot let themselves in the bedroom and Olivia was happy just to have those who were most important to her around her. "Okay, let's delegate jobs!" Zoe took charge.
Trevor rolled his eyes but laughed at how organised his sister was. "Trev, you come here and sit here with your wife and make yourself useful and massage her back or her shoulders or whatever she wants without a single question,"
Olivia laughed, "that's not necessary, it just feels kind of surreal so I guess once the contractions start kicking in for real, I'm okay. I feel fine, just a little discomfort."
Zoe ignored her and turned to Amanda. Amanda held up her phone to Trevor's sister, "I found a list of stuff we should pack." She picked up the bag at the end of the bed that Trevor had found.
"Great, Mom, can you make sure Liv has some easy snacks and maybe she should have some water."
"Zo, it's okay, I'm fine I can get my own water and my own snacks. Margot, please just … take a seat and relax, we might be here for hours yet. Actually, better yet, if you're tired, go rest. We will be fine."
"Olivia-" Zoe began but Liv held up her hand.
"Zoe, don't make me kick you out," she laughed, "you're going to stress me out if you start throwing orders. How about this, how about please pack my bag because I was stupid and underprepared, but everything else Trevor and I can take care of unless we need you guys. You guys can go back downstairs if you want and keep drinking, do it. This could be hours like I just said."
Zoe cocked her head to the side, challenging her brother's wife but realised quickly that she wasn't going to win this one.
"Fiiiine. Come on Mom, Amanda… let's get this bag together and we can leave these two."
"Maybe you should rest," Trevor finally spoke up, talking to his wife. "You're right, it could be a long night and maybe if your contractions are like are few and far between right now, you could probably get some sleep."
"That might be a good idea," Liv replied. Trevor kissed her temple and got up. He helped the women navigate the room until the bag was packed along with the very first outfit that they had picked out for their daughter to leave the hospital in.
It had been a big step for Olivia.
They agreed begrudgingly to leave them to it.
"How are you feeling?" Trevor asked her as he got up to shut their bedroom door.
"Okay, actually, calm… strangely calm because I guess whatever happens is going to happen, right?"
Trevor leaned over and kissed her lips. "Exactly. I'm kind of excited that tomorrow we'll meet her,"
Olivia got comfortable and laid down on her pillow after laying a towel down in case she continued to leak throughout the labour which she read was actually a thing. Trevor got in to bed too and turned a lamp on. It was almost ten anyway. "Is there something I can do for you?," he wondered.
"Maybe just continue to be the perfect love of my life that you are," she smiled.
Trevor chuckled, "you softie, please don't hate me later, though, okay? Don't abuse me."
Olivia laughed too as he inched closer. She kissed his cheek until he turned his head and her lips found his. He took her face in his hand and let his mouth part hers, tasting her tongue and losing himself in the moment.
She broke off the kiss, feeling as thought maybe another contraction was about to start. "I love you so much," he said softly as their lips remained just microns apart.
"Me too," she whispered.
They stared in to each others eyes for a moment before Olivia slowly eased back. She began to arch her back in pain and winced. "Contraction," she told him through gritted teeth.
"Breathe through it, baby, don't hold your breath," he gently coached her. She took his hand and squeezed, careful not to do any permanent damage. Trevor almost winced at her crushing grasp but knew better not to say a word or make a sound. He watched her breathe in and out trying her best to not tense her entire body.
The contraction lasted around thirty or so seconds. He found that he had tensed watching her. He felt his body relax as she seemed to as well.
"Why am I getting contractions in my lower back? I really fucking hope it's not back labour, I've read some horror stories about it."
So had Trevor and he hoped not either, but he knew if anyone could get through it, it would be Olivia. "If it gets too much you have the option of pain relief when we get to the hospital," he told her. "I know you wanted to try to go without it."
"I changed my mind," she said with a laugh, "I'm not trying to be a hero here, I am just trying to give birth to a healthy baby," she replied.
Trevor felt relieved. He didn't understand why she was so staunchly against pain meds, but figured that it had to do with her fears and anxieties but she seemed so much calmer that perhaps after some intense discussions with her therapist, her mindset had changed.
"Don't get me wrong, if I don't think I need it, I won't opt for it, but… I can't imagine having contractions like that that last for a long time for hours on end, I don't think I'll cope."
"What does it feel like?"
"Like… period pain or… I don't know, I know you don't know how that feels either but just an intense stomach cramp, I guess but it's engulfing my lower back too, even in my thighs," she explained.
"Is it super painful?"
"Its … not tickling," she laughed, drawing his hand up close until she cuddled it against her chest. "I think if it gets much worse I won't be very happy," she added. She thought for a second, "just please don't let me turn in to an evil bitch, I don't want to be angry or mean to you."
Trevor smiled faintly, "I don't care, if you're in pain and need to be mad, I'm your guy."
Olivia had been immediately surprised by the intensity of the two contractions. She was sure the small cramps she'd had through the day were contractions too, but now she was certain.
"Are you feeling okay? Scared? Calm?"
"I'm most scared that when I have my baby, my vagina is going to tear and I'm going to be in pain forever," she admitted, laughing at her own exaggeration and the way Trevor openly grimaced at the thought.
"You are the bravest woman I know. I know you're going to be fine and we are going to keep focused on meeting Nova."
Olivia nodded. "Can we put the relaxation music on and I'll try to sleep for the next thirty minutes until the next one," she told him.
"Sure, that's a good idea. Let's keep calm and try to relax and sleep between your contractions so that when it becomes more intense you'll have more energy."
/
Trevor couldn't sleep but he was happy to see that Olivia was breathing steadily beside him. He was happy that she was relaxed enough to be able to drift off.
He got up and went downstairs and saw that his sister was in the living room on the couch with a blanket watching television. "Hey, why don't you go to bed?"
"I'm not tired," she replied without looking up.
"Okay," he shrugged and headed to the kitchen to get Olivia some water and to make a coffee for himself. His sister had been acting a little weird around him recently and he was figured it was just better to leave her alone.
As he poured the milk in to his coffee he felt a presence behind him. He turned to find his sister sliding in to the pedestal seat at the kitchen counter. "Is Liv doing okay?"
"She's actually asleep," he smiled, "I wasn't prepared for her to be more relaxed than I am right now," he chuckled.
"Wow, me either. She freaked out when her water broke but once she knew exactly that it was that, she calmed right down. Maybe it's the calm before the storm," she joked.
"Maybe she's going to rip my limbs off later," he joked.
"Probably, she's strong you know, your wife… she can probably take you down in a fight."
Trevor laughed, enjoying the silly banter with his sister. "You're not wrong. One time she was in a bad mood and some guy got in her face when she was walking home from work and told her to smile and she was a bit skittish and she hit him so hard in the face and knocked him down in like, two moves," he informed his tall, blond sister who sat before him, eyes wide in shock.
Zoe's mouth hung open. "For what? Telling her to smile! That is so great! I bet he never ever does that again."
Trevor laughed again, "I mean, I am pretty sure there was some cat-calling involved and that he grabbed her arm or something it was a little bit after the whole thing with William Lewis so she was on edge. That guy learned a lesson that day."
"He fucked around and found out, isn't that what they say now?"
The siblings laughed. "What about you?" Trevor asked taking a sip of his coffee, "what's going on with you?"
Zoe cocked her head to the side, "as if you don't know… Liv tells you everything."
"Contrary to what you may think, Liv and I don't discuss you at great lengths on a daily basis. I know that might be hard for you to hear," he told her sarcastically. She stared back at him and shook her head, amused.
Trevor's sister was a part-time actress and model and set her own hours as a highly sought-after personal trainer who used Instagram and other social medias to set up training packages. It had fast turned in to a well followed account where she was able to hire people to set up to month long fitness and diet challenges with nutritionists to answer questions for paid subscribers.
It was one of the most lucrative things she had ever done and with Matthew's help, her online business ran seamlessly with time to do the other bits and pieces that she loved; acting, modelling and being a Mom.
"Stu and I are breaking up," she said simply, ripping the band-aid off.
Trevor didn't seem too shocked. "I'm sorry," he said gently, "I know things have been a bit weird for awhile now. I even tried to get him to hang out and he really isn't even acting normal with me."
"Guilt," Zoe replied, "because he feels guilty. He's been cheating on me and I'm sure it's been going back for awhile and I wish I cared maybe a little more than I do. I'm just looking forward to moving out with Addy and moving on with my life, Trev."
"What the fuck is wrong with him? He's cheating on you with who?," her brother asked incredulously, offended for her.
"I don't know, some boring bitch at work, I guess. I really couldn't bring myself to go through the messages at any great length, I just read a little of what he really thought of me and that was enough…" she shrugged. While her ego may have been hurt, she really was just happy to be free of the relationship. "No offence to you, Trev, you and Matthew are real ones, but I'm done with men. They had their time in my life and I'm just .. done."
A flicker of a smile crossed his mouth. "You're going to find a girlfriend, huh?" He was half-kidding. Zoe's very first love had been a girl and no one had been more shocked than him. A girl called Taylor that he had been certain was a guy until she brought her home to meet the family, but surprisingly, she fit in well and his Mom and Dad didn't bat an eyelid to their daughter being bisexual.
"Maybe, but I'm not looking for any relationship. I just want peace and I want to feel at ease in my own space with my daughter."
"I'm sorry it didn't work out, for Addy too."
Zoe shrugged. "He's barely present even for Addy these days so unless he gets nasty, he probably will be happy we're gone so he can move on in with his basic bitch and invariably cheat on her when he gets bored."
"What's the plan?," he asked, "do you guys need to come and stay here?"
She shook her head, "I put a deposit on a new apartment, close to where you guys are moving to, close to Matty and I'll take each day as it comes and focus more on my business, these past few months have been distracting and thank goodness I won't have some jackass trying to tell me what roles I can and can't do."
"I didn't know he did that. No one has the right to control you and what you want, Zo, I know you know that."
"I know," she said, "sometimes it's easier to just go along with something than to fight it, you know?"
He nodded. "So did Matt know about all of this? Why am I the last to know?"
Zoe laughed. "I felt ashamed at first when I found out about the cheating and I happened to be with Matt at the time and I guess it all came out. I made him promise not to repeat anything and I needed him to help me figure out my finances…"
Matthew was an accountant and he and his wife were now on Zoe's payroll, helping with her business. Trevor nodded slowly. "Zo, you might need some help protecting your business from Stu, do you think he might pull something?"
She shook her head. "He's hated my business. He thinks it's so stupid. He still earns more than me so I doubt he wants me to go after him for alimony. This way, we can split things as they are down the middle. I don't want his money."
"Don't you guys share everything?" Trevor wondered, a little confused. He couldn't have imagined having separate finances from his wife. "Like, how do you determine who buys what for Addy?"
Zoe shrugged. "He didn't want to, maybe that goes to show he was never quite in love with me the way I was with him, he didn't marry me, he didn't even fucking share finances, I shouldn't have been shocked when he pulled away from me," she laughed sardonically.
Trevor felt for her. "Well, if you need any help legally, you know I'm here and I'm really sorry, if you want me to go beat his ass, you know I'm good for it," he added, knowing she would never want that.
She laughed. "Thanks Trev," she replied with a little sigh. "Anyway, you're going to meet your daughter within the next day unless Olivia is so unlucky that her labour lasts 28 days," she chuckled.
"And you're gonna be an aunt again," he couldn't wipe the grin from his face. "I know it's not as special as it would have been when we were pregnant with Maisy…"
"What are you talking about?" Zoe shook her head turning serious. It really wasn't often that they brought up his first child. "Maisy is my very first niece and I'll never consider her otherwise and she is your very first child and no one can take that away from us, Trev, but Nova is going to be your rainbow baby and its okay to be excited about that but also still have some anxiety because of what happened with Maisy."
"I am anxious but I am just holding it together for Liv, I know she looks to me for comfort and for me to assure her that everything is okay, but I'm scared, honestly."
"That's natural," Zoe told him, "I didn't lose Maisy the way you and Liv did and even I was scared when I was pregnant with Adeline… there's just so many factors and things that can go wrong, but so far, everything with Liv has been perfect and easy and besides her being uncomfortable, she's in perfect health and the amount of times she's had that baby monitor attached to her, you'd know if something was up."
"That monitor has been the best," he smiled. "For both her and I, its got us through every single day."
They chatted while he drank his coffee and then he went back upstairs to tend to Olivia. He found her hunched over the bed on her knees, her face twisted in pain and her breathing through an intense contraction. He rushed to her side and massaged her lower back the best that he could.
She whimpered in pain until it passed and she was finally able to sit back.
Time seemed to go by slowly, nothing progressed very much, there was still almost half an hour between each of her contractions, intensified only by the back pain that still bothered her between them.
"You're doing so good, baby," Trevor told her, knowing that she was already exhausted given the little sleep she had been getting between the pain that engulfed her ever time the contractions hit. "Can I do anything? Do you want to go and stand in the shower? The hot water might help?"
She shook her head, "I need to save everything for when this starts getting bad. I mean…" she corrected herself, "its bad now but I mean, bad bad."
"Okay, maybe just rest then…" he suggested, "but you tell me if you want anything."
She nodded.
/
"I am in fucking agony," Olivia blurted out loudly.
It was right on 7 in the morning. Zoe had to go and organise her daughter for daycare and Amanda had Sonny stay with the girls while she and Margot helped around the house with getting Noah ready for school and getting breakfast ready.
"Mommy, you said a swear," Noah said softly, worried for his Mom.
"Sorry," she gasped, trying to remember to breathe.
Noah looked at his father and back at his Mom who was hunched over the back of the couch breathing deeply, but whimpering each time she let out a breath.
"Mom's in a lot of pain because Nova is on her way," Trevor told his son, "isn't that exciting?"
Noah's eyes lit up. "Are you going to the hospital to take her out of your tummy?," he wondered, "can I come?"
"It'll be awhile yet, honey," Margot told Noah, "but if Nova arrives before you finish school, auntie Amanda or I will come and get you and take you straight to the hospital to meet your sister."
"Really?" Noah asked his parents, "are you telling the truth?"
"Yes," Olivia told him, relaxing slightly once the contraction had passed, "Grandma will get you, but for now you have to go to school." She didn't want her son to worry about her and she could already tell that he was.
Trevor looked up at Amanda for her input. "13 minutes apart… If it helps, my labour progressed really fast after it got to about 11 minutes…"
"That doesn't help," Olivia replied, "because it feels like I am going to explode."
Amanda was able to laugh gently at her friend's bitterness. "I had back labour with Jessie and it helped when Carisi did this…" she never forgot how her current boyfriend had been there for her during birth despite the fact that her daughter's father hadn't bothered to show up. Amanda circled around the couch and stood behind Olivia and rested her hands on her hips and pushed inward firmly to alleviate some of the back pressure.
"Yeah…" Liv nodded, "that's actually good, it makes it bearable," she breathed.
"Thanks Amanda," Trevor said gratefully as she stepped aside to let him resume her spot, pushing on her hips. Olivia let out a loud sigh of relief. "Do it harder," she commanded him, "nothing can hurt me more than our precious," she managed to joke.
Margot left to take Noah to school after his breakfast enduring his complaining and slight tantrum about having to go when he knew his sister was going to be arriving soon enough.
Trevor framed it as exciting news that he could share with his classmates and tried to encourage him to go ahead with his day so that he could count down the hours til he was able to return home to Grandma or Amanda, hopefully taking him to the hospital if the time was right.
Olivia was thankful that Noah had gone, she could swear and yell out and not try to keep a lid on how much pain she was in.
It pained Trevor to see his wife in distress as she tried to manage her way through each contraction gracefully without too much dramatics, but he could see how badly she wanted to cry out in pain. "Its okay," he assured her, "just let it out, if you're in pain, you don't need to hold it in."
"I feel like I'm going to be sick," she remarked, ignoring him. "Can you get me a bucket or something, just in case?"
Amanda was already on it as he continued to massage her back.
By lunch time Olivia felt each contraction intensify and begin to last a little longer.
"That's it," Margot nodded at Trevor, "Its 6 minutes, I think it's time for you guys to make your way to the hospital."
"Thank goodness," Olivia murmured tearfully as the contraction passed. "I don't know if I can take it much longer. I'm so fucking tired."
"Its okay baby, we'll get you there quickly," he promised. "I'm gonna run upstairs and get changed and grab a jacket and your bag and we'll go."
/
Olivia paced the room holding her back and ignoring Trevor who stood feeling absolutely helpless. He was scared to ask, rendered useless and clamouring for ideas over what he could do to ease her pain but they both knew there was nothing.
"Fuck," she cursed, "this is not fun…" she murmured, breathless and feeling weak from the pain and from tensing her entire body.
"I keep saying it, but if you need to make some noise and yell out, go ahead, do it… no one is judging, you are pushing my baby out of you."
She looked back at her husband, he had a hand on the small of her back, looking at her, stricken with concern and worry that lined the angles of his beautifully chiseled face. She managed to smile wearily. "What would all those natural birth Moms say about you telling me that?"
He was relieved to see a smile on her face. "I couldn't give a shit what any other Moms have to say about me, I'm watching you and I don't know how you're not already dosed up on pain meds, you're so fucking brave, Liv."
The inferno of pain did not go away or settle even when the contractions had. Olivia leaned back on to Trevor as the midwife made her way in to the room with a warm smile. "Hi Liv, Hi Trevor… how are you?"
"I'll be better when Nova is in my arms and this birth is over."
"You're looking great, actually, despite how you might feel of course." Olivia wanted to slap her, but ordinarily she loved Evelyn Bishop, her kind-hearted and slightly older midwife. She laughed when she saw the stink-eye that her patient had thrown at her. "I know you don't feel great, I can see that."
"We think she's having back labour," Trevor explained, "she's in a lot of pain and it seems to be intense even when she's not having contractions," he added.
"Its agony," Olivia muttered, starting to feel a little irritated by how casual Evelyn seemed to be about the whole thing.
"Okay, let's see how far along you are and we can talk about some of the methods of pain management we discussed at your last appointment." She was calm and to the point, wanting to help Olivia's pain as quickly as she could.
Trevor helped her to the bed and stayed by his wife's side while the midwife examined her. "You're about 4cms," she announced to Olivia, "still got a little bit to go, I am thinking we'll get a nurse to come and give you an IV and see how you feel about some morphine?"
"I don't care, just… something, I don't know if I can deal with this if it is only going to get worse," Olivia blurted out tearfully.
"Okay, don't worry, it'll help with the pain. Have you taken morphine before with any known side effects?," she asked.
Olivia shrugged. She thought of the broken ribs, it had been a different drug but still a similar opiod. "I think I'm okay with opioids, no side effects."
"Ok give me a few minutes to organise it," Evelyn gave her a nod, "you're doing good Liv," she smiled at her.
"Wait," Liv stopped her, "are you going to check on Nova? Are you going to make sure she's okay?"
"Yes, the nurse will come and attach you to a monitor but you're going to want to be moving around until it's showtime. In the meantime, Dad," she glanced at Trevor, "maybe after Olivia gets her IV drugs, she might like to make use of the shower. Massages and breathing coaching goes a long way."
Trevor nodded.
Olivia leaned forward as the contraction overtook her attention, rending her unable to speak let alone breathe. The pain engulfed her with the intensity that she hadn't been used to, "Fuckkkk!," she exclaimed out loud, "fuck!" She was shocked by the pain, definitely her worst yet.
"Its okay, baby, it's okay."
"Its not okay!," she shot back, moaning from the back of her throat as tears sprang to her eyes. "It's not fucking okay, fuck!"
"Just… try not to curse so loud, just scream…" Trevor was always worried about cursing or swearing in public, he hated to hear it and was always embarrassed easily by someone witnessing him or Olivia acting angrily or aggressively in public.
Olivia glared at him. "I tried," she snapped through clenched teeth, "And I fucking failed!" He stared her down for a moment and then began to laugh at her spite. He could see that Evelyn was trying her best to stifle her laughter as she left them to it.
The fact that he had laughed pissed Olivia off even more and he could tell. "I'm so sorry, love, I don't mean to laugh, I just…"
"I'm in pain!" Olivia remarked loudly, feeling a little relief as the contraction began to ease off, "I'd like to see you pass a fucking giant Langan baby through your penis hole."
Immediately Trevor winced. "I know, I know," he placated her, "I'm sorry, swear as much as you like, but if Nova grows up with a filthy mouth-" he let his voice trail off.
Olivia ignored him, she knew he was trying to make her laugh but she wasn't amused. "Where the fuck is that morphine," she said miserably.
/
Olivia vomited between contractions, a side effect from the morphine — while it lessened the pain a little, it made her nauseous. She felt exhausted and Trevor was too, he felt stressed out watching her cry, yelling out and moan with pain. The midwife coached her through the contractions and directed Trevor to help the best way that he could.
He used his thumbs to push hard in to her lower back, making circles. "Use your knuckles," Liv demanded from beneath the nitrous gas mask to help with pain after the morphine had worn off, "as hard as you can…"
"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured.
"Trev-" she cried, "please…if you hurt me you'll be the first to find out."
Olivia leaned over the bed rail and buried her face in her arms as Trevor rigorously massaged her lower back without question. She felt his knuckles bringing her some relief, kneading in to her skin trying to be careful not to hurt me.
A nurse brought them a heat pack and for her to rest on her back. "When can I push?" Olivia asked, "I really want to push."
"Not yet, we have a little way to go, you can do this, sweetheart," Evelyn coached her, she had just checked on her and she was close but not close enough that she could start pushing Nova without causing damage or risk getting her stuck.
In the late afternoon, Trevor greeted someone with relief in his tone and Olivia looked up to see Zoe in the doorway. She burst in to tears immediately, happy to see someone who understood her pain.
"Aww Liv," she rushed in, putting down an iced cold diet coke that Olivia had requested earlier but Trevor hadn't been able to get away to get for her. "Its okay, here… give me a hug." She drew her sister-in-law in close and rubbed her back, allowing Trevor a short break. "Surely it won't be long now," she remarked, glancing at the midwife and back at her brother.
"Not long, no," Evelyn confirmed with a reassuring smile. "Olivia opted for the gas and in a few minutes we'll make sure Nova is ready to say hello before Olivia breaks Trevor's hand."
Zoe pulled away from Liv and smiled at her. "Keep focused on that beautiful baby inside of you, it'll all be worth it when you hold her," she promised Liv. "I got you your coca-cola and I think we should let Trevor go and get something to eat really quick and call Noah and then hopefully it'll be time."
Olivia nodded, tearfully hanging on to Zoe's words. She was just like her brother, good to rely on for calm and logic when she felt overwhelmed. "Okay… is everything okay with Noah?"
"Of course, Liv, Noah is fine. Mom is back at home with Adeline and Noah and they're having the best time. How's Trevor's hand? Have you crushed all the bones yet?"
"No, she's doing so well," Trevor remarked, "She wants to push. I can't believe how brave she is, I couldn't do this."
"Of course you couldn't, men are little weaklings, you can't even catch a cold without complaining," Zoe teased him.
"I'm apparently swearing too much."
Trevor laughed and rolled his eyes knowing he wasn't going to live it down. "Its fine, I was just saying…"
Zoe looked between the both of them and laughed. Olivia wept as another contraction overcame her. She urged Trevor to hurry up and go. "I'm tired," she complained as she cried and tried to breathe.
Evelyn coached her through and reminded her to breathe deeply, to concentrate on nothing else but big, deep breaths in and out. She wheeled over the blood pressure monitor and took Olivia's vitals, noticing she was starting to panic a little over the pain that she was in.
"Okay I need big calm breaths, Liv, you're heart rate is a little high so we need to stay calm."
"I have the music…" she muttered to Zoe, "the classical shit…" Liv cursed loudly, "I want to push!" It took every part of her to concentrate on just getting through the contractions without indulging the urge to start pushing for Nova to come out.
Zoe turned and laughed to herself at Olivia's complete no-fucks-given attitude. "I'm so hot and I want to vomit…" she complained as Zoe grabbed the phone and scrolled through her music app until she found the labour playlist. It was string quartets. It wasn't what she found relaxing, but she pressed play anyway.
"Olivia, when its time for you to push, you can be in whatever position makes you feel comfortable, do you want to be up on the bed or do you want to stand here and we can work around you…"
"I don't care," she moaned, frustrated with what she felt were stupid questions, stalling her from pushing, "just… get the baby out, can we hurry this up, please,"
"Just remember to keep using the mask," Evelyn told her, gently, sensing her annoyance "We'll check to see how far along you are,"
"I'm tired," Liv complained again to Zoe who made herself busy opening the cold beverage she'd bought for her. She threaded the straw through the tab and bent it so that she could sip it.
"Oh, I know you're tired honey," Zoe said softly, "I felt exactly like you do with Addy, but I got through it and you will too. I promise." She held Liv's hand as she was examined.
"Guess what, Olivia? We're ten centimetres," the midwife announced.
"Can I push yet?" She was on a one track mind.
"Not yet, just give me a few minutes, are you comfortable here on your back on the bed?" She wanted to know.
"Yes, I just want Nova to come out," she replied tearfully, her face twisted in agony, taking short, shallow breaths trying to get through the pain. She sipped at the soda each time Zoe prompted her. "I just wanna hold her…" Zoe elevated the mattress some and put some pillows behind her sister-in-law's head.
A nurse helped the midwife hook Olivia up to the saturation machine and the baby heart monitor.
Finally Olivia was happy to see Trevor reappear in the doorway. "Is it time?," he asked, putting down a bottle of water.
Zoe smiled at her brother and nodded. "I'll get going and give you guys some privacy but … I might stick around, is that okay?"
"Yeah, of course," Trev agreed. She kissed Olivia's temple. "I'll be close by, Liv. You can do this!"
Olivia was distracted. She reached for Trevor's hand. He got on to the bed with her and held her tightly, securing her and smoothing her hair. He knew she was spent, she had very little energy left and was over it all. He realised how much she needed him behind her so he got comfortable, letting her rest back between his legs so that she could feel his physical support.
"Okay, get comfortable, Liv, your little girl is starting to crown… are you okay where you are? Dad, you don't want to be down here at the business end?"
She nodded, crying and moaning in pain. "Its okay sweetie," Trevor murmured, "lean back on me, I've got you, take my hands okay?" He looked up at the midwife, "I'm okay here, I'm going to stay with Liv." He reached around her on either side. He felt her hands slip in to his. She held on tightly, sliding down the bed a little until she was comfortable as she could be. She let go, realising it wasn't going to work.
Trevor wrapped an arm around the front of her just above her chest, holding her tight. She reached up, clutching his forearm with both of her hands, leaning back against his shoulder.
"Okay, one, two, three, push…"
With all of her might, she began to push as hard as she could, taking the urge that had been building up over the hour and putting all of her energy in to it. "Okay stop," Evelyn held her hand up. "Rest for a few minutes, don't forget to breathe,"
"Breathe baby," Trevor told his breathless wife, blow out, let's count to ten…" he counted her breaths for her. "You can do this…"
She cried out loud, in pain, exhausted and frustrated that she was so close but so far.
The midwife counted down again and implored Olivia to push. "I can see your baby's head," she announced happily, "keep going!"
"I can't, I can't!" Olivia cried loudly, "I can't do it."
"Love, you can do this," Trevor told her firmly, "you can do this, she is almost here," he encouraged her, "you are so brave and so strong, Liv, you can do it. I love you, you can do it."
She drew in a deep breath and grunted as she pushed hard, screaming in pain as she felt the burn of her baby between her legs.
Helplessly, Trevor gripped Olivia tightly, he could feel her entire body trembling as she held her breath for each push. Her pain was palpable, he had never heard her scream so loudly from sheer agony. Her face was red and the sweat was pouring from her.
"Almost there, sweetheart, one or two more big pushes…she's coming…"
It was all the encouragement she needed, she began to push as hard as she could, mustering up every tiny bit of energy that she had left in the tank "I love you," Trevor told her, smoothing her hair from her face. She bore down and pushed, screaming in pain and he knew that Nova was coming.
"We've got her!" Evelyn called out as the nurses readied for her birth with surgical sheets and instruments. Olivia could feel her coming out. She pushed again one last time and suddenly the pain seemed to dissipate and Liv waited for the sound of her baby.
"Is she okay?" Olivia blurted out, her breath catching.
To answer her question, she heard a loud cry from the tiny infant. A calm hush fell over the room only filled by their new baby girl who's few short cries had turned in to soft whimpers as though leaving the comfort of her mother's womb had shocked her at first. Nova looked around and fussed slightly, something that sounded like they could turn in to cries, but didn't.
"Daddy, maybe you can help Liv with her gown so she can hold her."
Trevor and Olivia both had researched the benefits of immediate skin-to-skin time. It still didn't seem real as neither of them could see their baby yet. Olivia ripped the front of her gown out of the way as she Nova was passed carefully to her.
She took her perfectly healthy daughter in her arms and rested her against her chest. "Oh my gosh…" she sobbed despite the broad smile that filled her mouth as she looked at the perfect infant.
Trevor was choked up too. He rested his head on Olivia's shoulder. He felt her reach for his hand, guiding it to their daughter's naked back. "Darling Nova…" Trevor murmured softly. They both cried as they held her together, neither able to take their eyes off of her for a couple of minutes.
Nothing else mattered, not even when she was getting rid of her baby's placenta, the pain was mild and the only thing she could concentrate on was Nova and her husband wrapped around her and the happy tears that they shed for their rainbow baby - for the daughter that they'd waited the better half of a decade for and never thought they'd get.
"Trevor would you like to do the honours of cutting the cord? And we'll take Nova to do some quick measurements before you can continue cuddling," the nurse interrupted them.
Olivia didn't want to hand her back, but she peeled her eyes away from her daughter's face and looked up at her husband who had just carefully manoeuvred from behind her. She passed Nova to him. For just a moment he paused to relish having such a tiny, tiny life in his hands. She fit in the crook of his forearm, dwarfed entirely by his presence.
He smiled and reached up to wipe his eyes. The midwife took Nova and handed him some scissors. Trevor cut the cord and watched them clamp it. He went back to Olivia's side and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her. "I love you, you did so good, I am so fucking proud of you."
"Try not to swear," she winked at him.
He laughed. "I'm never gonna live it down am I?"
Olivia laughed too, "I love you. Thank you for being such a good husband and I know you're going to be an amazing new Daddy."
"You don't have to thank me for doing my job, sweetheart," he replied, leaning over to kiss her.
Both of them could feel the nervous energy between them, waiting to have their daughter back as if they hadn't just had her for a few moments. Olivia felt her heart soar when she heard her baby fussing.
"We're all done, you can go back to your Mommy and Daddy now, beautiful," Evelyn cooed over the infant, heading back toward them with her. She was wrapped in a blanket and handed back to Olivia. "You can just open up her blanket so you can do the skin-to-skin time."
"Thanks…" Liv's voice trailed off. She took Nova and looked up at Trevor.
"We'll be taking you back to your room in a moment," Evelyn told Olivia, "you'll get some time to rest and I'll come in and you can see if she might like to feed."
"Okay thanks…" she really wasn't listening. She let her eyes fall over the soft brown wisps of hair on the crown of her child's head and the way her tiny little fingers wrapped around her pointer. She loved her deeply already, from the second she'd laid eyes on her.
An orderly arrived to take them back to the room and Olivia looked forward to being able to rest with her child on her chest. She was already starting to feel engulfed by fatigue.
"What's the time?" Olivia asked Trevor, realising she had absolutely no concept of what day or what time it was. It felt like she'd been giving birth for days. "Its almost 6:30," he told her.
The orderly waited patiently for Olivia to pass Nova to her father as she slowly and gingerly switched beds with the help of a nurse. Her legs felt like wet noodles and she realised she was hungry and hadn't slept properly for well over 24 hours.
"Where did Evelyn go?" Liv asked, looking around, wincing as she got on to the fresh bed that had been covered to combat any bleeding or messiness until Olivia was able to shower.
"She'll be back to check in with you shortly," the nurse replied.
Finally they were alone and it was surreal and wonderful and both of them felt strange. Trevor handed Nova back over to her and she could tell there was a part of him that didn't want to let go. He sat beside her on the bed and put an arm around her and kissed her cheek. "She's so chubby," he chuckled, "look at this round little cheeks…" he stroked her soft skin. "My little super Nova…"
Olivia looked up at him and smiled and sighed with contentment. "I love you… now you get to be a girl Dad too."
He glanced at his wife and slowly grinned at the idea. "I'm so happy," he replied. His eyes were glassy with tears and so were hers too.
"Thank you for telling me that everything would be alright… you were right and I trusted you in the end. I wouldn't want to be living this dream with any other person in the world."
"Me either," he murmured, kissing her lips.
Trevor got his phone out and he took a few photos of Olivia holding Nova and she insisted on doing the same with him and then they took a selfie together with Nova.
Olivia relaxed back in her elevated bed. Nova rested against the curve of her breast warmly. She felt perfect."I love you my princess," she told her with a little kiss on her warm forehead.
Evelyn came back in shortly after and went through some postpartum care with both new parents. She implored Olivia to attempt to feed the baby.
"I'm worried I won't be able to do it," she admitted out loud at the midwife's suggestion.
"Look," she said to Liv, "sometimes it can be difficult at first, but we persevere. Let's just .. have a try and not expect miracles, okay?"
Olivia nodded, agreeing.
With the midwife's assistance and explanation of how to ensure that the baby was latching, Olivia gave it a try. It occurred to her how amazing it was that Nova immediately knew what to do, her instant reaction was to begin trying to get milk.
"I think I'm doing it…" Liv announced excitedly on the second attempt. "I think I got lucky, I think she's doing it, right?" She asked, Trevor beamed at his wife, watching all of her insecurities and fears wash away instantly.
Truthfully he'd been worried.
"She's definitely feeding, good job Liv. Just relax and she'll let you know when she's done."
Olivia smiled happily as she watched her perfect daughter feeding away like they'd both been nursing their whole lives.
"How long should Olivia wait to eat or shower or all of that other stuff?" Trevor asked.
"As long as she likes. I'll make sure the nurses know that Liv is going to need dinner and maybe when she's done feeding and has had a few hours of skin-to-skin time, she might like to bathe or clean up a little. We suggest maybe waiting a bit longer to bathe Nova for the first time."
"Thanks," Liv told her, "for putting up with my whining and complaining earlier."
Evelyn laughed, "don't be so silly, you weren't even nearly one of my worst patients," she patted Olivia's arm. "I'm gonna leave you both to it, if you have any problems speak to one of the nurses and if necessary the ward doctor can come and chat to you."
"Thanks," Trevor said, "for everything."
/
"I can wait for you to finish skin-on-skin time before I bathe," Olivia told her husband. He was reclined in a chair beside her bed without his shirt. Nova lay over him, her knees tucked beneath her and her tiny arms free on either side of her with a blanket covering them both.
She needed his help because everything hurt and she was unsteady on her feet and in a little pain.
"I can help," Zoe told Olivia, "let Trevor sit with Nova and I can help you in the shower."
"Oh… okay that sounds good. Thanks Zo — how far is Noah and your Mom?"
"They're leaving as soon as Noah finishes his dinner. They might have already left."
"I can help you now, Liv," Trevor spoke up, thinking that maybe Olivia wasn't comfortable with being naked in front of his sister. He wanted to give her the opportunity to say no.
"No, Zoe can help me, you stay with Nova, you have been so patient and you deserve some Daddy-daughter time."
Trevor smiled down at his baby girl contentedly. He kissed her forehead and couldn't seem to stop fussing over her in absolute awe. Noah was seven months old when they were given custody and he remembered how both he and Olivia used to stand over his crib watching him sleep and those tiny, quiet and peaceful moments were unforgettable and the most important of his life.
This felt like the same; the value of spending those first few hours of her life close to her was the world to them both. It didn't lower the value of adopting for him, just offered a new experience and one that was just as important and as mystifying and heavenly as when they finally brought Noah home forever.
Zoe got Olivia's things together for her and helped her out of the bed and in to the bathroom.
/
Olivia was exhausted and teary and he knew she needed to sleep. "Close your eyes, honey," he murmured. He was squeezed beside her on the bed just as she had demanded. Nova laid over her sleeping, her head tucked beneath Olivia's chin with the blanket pulled up over the both of them. He was uncomfortable, but he didn't care, he loved being close to two of his family.
"I can't. Noah and your Mom are gonna be here in a minute and I miss my baby so much. I want to see his little face when he meets Nova."
"Me too, I can't wait…" Trevor remarked.
"Its so nice of Zoe to go out of her way to get us dinner, your sister has been amazing."
"Yeah… she's so happy for us, I know since she had Adeline there's been a certain amount of guilt she's been carrying and even though she would never admit it, I think that's why she doesn't hang out as often as Matt."
"To be fair, I didn't really react appropriately to her pregnancy news at the time," Olivia admitted, "I know I've apologised a zillion times, but I don't think it helped with her guilt."
Losing Maisy still felt fresh when Zoe became pregnant. It had been unplanned and a little shock and not something that Trevor's sister saw on the horizon. Still, she welcomed the idea and was excited to tell Trevor and Olivia — but as soon as the words fell from her mouth she realised what she had done.
Trevor covered up his devastation, happy for his sister but a harsh reminder of the daughter that they didn't have. Olivia's eyes filled up with tears and Zoe immediately apologised. "Why would you think we want to hear this right now?," she'd blurted out, "I can't believe how insensit-"
"Liv, no," Trevor had said softly, but Olivia was still so broken and Zoe didn't hate her sister-in-law for it, if anything she felt horrified that she had been so insensitive, that for just a stupid second, she thought the news of her daughter could possibly be healing for them.
It had taken a few days but Olivia had apologised, also devastated that she had possibly ruined the relationship she had between herself and Trevor's sister. Even though they were never related by blood, she never considered her to be anything other than family.
They had healed from the situation, Zoe hadn't included Olivia at all in her pregnancy and it was one of Liv's biggest regrets. She knew, looking back, that it was okay to be simultaneously sad for herself and happy for Trevor's sister.
"Sweetie?" Trevor's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
She glanced at him, "Hmmm?"
"You drifted off," he smiled, "I just said that maybe you and Zoe need to have a conversation now, since you've been pregnant you seem maybe a little more open to talking about Maisy, before your pregnancy, it was entirely off-limits."
She nodded slowly. "Maybe," she stroked her infant's soft hair. "I really want her to come back with Adeline. I want Adeline to meet her baby cousin too."
"Are you okay with Matty and Therese coming with the boys tomorrow?"
"Of course," Olivia nodded. "Do you think I'll get to go home?"
"Maybe… but don't be in a rush. If we have to stay another day or so, then so be it."
Interrupting them was a knock at the door. They glanced over to see Trevor's Mom and Noah.
Trevor got up and circled Liv's bed. Noah ran at his father. "Daddy!," he hissed as though Margot had warned him to keep his voice down. Trevor swept him up and gave him a kiss, hugging him tight.
"Hi my beautiful boy!," he kissed him again, "Daddy missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, Daddy! Is my sister here yet?," he asked.
"Yes! Would you like to come and sit with Mommy and meet her?" Trevor paused briefly to kiss his Mom hello.
"Yes! I wanna meet my sister so much," he said softly.
"Thank you for using your soft voice, she's very sleepy right now so we're gonna be gentle and not move around too much," he warned him.
Olivia greeted her mother-in-law who beamed proudly at her 6th grandchild. Trevor carefully placed his son down beside Olivia on the bed. "Hi my love," Olivia greeted him, kissing him. "I want you to meet someone very special…" she had already wrapped her daughter back in her blanket while Trevor was greeting Noah and Margot. "Would you like to hold her?"
Noah nodded, trying to see the baby. "Hold your arms out, kiddo." Trevor helped Noah position his arms correctly. Olivia laid Nova across them, propping a pillow beneath her. Noah smiled at his sister, seeming unsure. He looked over at his Dad and his grandma and back down at Nova.
"Do you love her?" Olivia asked her son in a hushed voice.
"Its my sister?," he asked in what was almost more of a statement.
"It's your sister, it's Nova," she confirmed. Her breath hitched as her son looked up at her with tears filling his eyes. She was surprised. "Honey, why are you crying!" she felt a slight deflation thinking that he was disappointed.
"I'm just excited to have my sister," he murmured, sniffing.
Olivia's eyes filled with tears too at just how sweet he was. She wrapped an arm around him, "I love you, sweetie," she told him, "you are such a beautiful boy." She kissed his temple.
He sniffed again as he gazed at his sister. Olivia glanced at Trevor and saw that he was choked up too. Margot was taking photos for them.
"Mommy, can I touch her?" Noah asked.
"Of course, look we have this pillow beneath your arm, you can gently take this arm out…" she helped him remove his arm from beneath Nova's legs, "we just have to always make sure we support her head, okay?"
Noah nodded, taking his job of being a big brother very seriously. "Can she hear me?"
"Yes, you can talk to her and touch her hair or her big chubby cheeks," she told him, "you're her big brother and she needs to get to know you just like she's getting to know Mommy and Daddy."
"Hi Nova," Noah whispered, bowing his head over his sister. "I'm your big brother, Noah," he added. "You are so cute, aren't you?" He ran his fingers through the thin wisps of her brunette hair. "You are my perfect sister."
He turned to his Mom, "When did Nova come out of your belly? Was it while I was at school?"
"No, Nova arrived around dinner time," Olivia replied.
"Did she hurt you when she came out of your tummy?," he asked, appraising his mother.
"Yes," she chuckled, "it was painful but I would do it all over again if I had to, that's how much I love you and Nova…"
"I didn't hurt you though," Noah told her, "how did she come out?," he asked, "did your belly get cut open?"
"Something like that," Olivia smiled. "I'm okay now though and I'm so happy that you and grandma came to visit me. I missed you so much."
Noah smiled at his mother as she ran her fingers through his curls. "Are you coming home tonight Mommy?"
"Not tonight, probably tomorrow if Nova is okay," Olivia replied.
Noah smiled back at his sister. "Noah, maybe grandma might like to have a turn at holding Nova," Trevor interjected.
He peeled his eyes slow from his little sister. "Okay," he said, "but then I have to hold her again too."
"Its okay, I can wait, let him have time with his sister," Margot replied with a smile.
"No grandma you can hold my sister," Noah replied with a smile. "She wants to meet her grandma."
Trevor took Nova from his son and handed him over to his mother. Olivia took the opportunity to snuggle her son.
"Do you love your sister?" Liv asked him.
"Yes Mommy, I love her! She's so little. I love her so much. I'm gonna hold her every day and be a good big brother."
Olivia beamed at her son. "You're already the best big brother."
"Now I can say I'm a big brother and a little brother," he added. Olivia thought for a moment and realised that he had held on to the news of Maisy, that he considered her to be part of his life since they had told her about him. He took the news of his unborn sister seriously and not fleetingly at all.
"That's right," Olivia replied, "you're a big brother and a little brother. Noah wrapped his arms around his Mom and hugged her tightly.
/
Olivia got almost no sleep at the hospital and Trevor was so happy for them to be home, undisrupted by beepers going off, other babies crying, nurses coming in to check on her. Trevor had his newborn baby wrapped warmly around him in a sling. She was bound up against his chest firmly and was sleeping soundly as he parked Olivia on the couch.
"You rest there," he told her. "Amanda and Sonny are coming over a little later to finish helping me set up her room but Matt and Therese picked up the portable hammock so we can put her in there and bounce her a little when we need a break from holding her."
"Thanks baby," Olivia murmured. She was beyond exhausted — now it was hard for her to even concentrate but was so far past feeling ready to sleep that she wasn't sure she would be able to. He put the TV on for her and handed her the remote. "I'm going to get you a blanket and a heat pack so you can get all cosy and try to close your eyes."
"She's probably going to need to feed soon," Olivia informed him. "No point sleeping."
Trevor looked at his watch and down at his child. "Its okay, I'll wake you up if you fall asleep. You have at least two hours…"
/
"Finally," Trevor thought, coming downstairs to find Olivia snoring lightly. She had put up such a fight and made such a point about how she was past sleeping and probably wouldn't be able to. He hadn't even been upstairs for longer than ten minutes. He took the blanket and spread it out over her and tucked it behind her. He went to the kitchen and took out her heat pack that he had bought for her during her pregnancy. It's protective cover was a cute little pink dinosaur that matched a similar one he bought for Noah.
He lifted his wife's arm and tucked it beneath. She stirred but rolled further on to her side, cuddling the heat pack, looking comfortable and cosy. He left her in the quiet, hoping that Nova would stay sleeping for at least a few hours to give Olivia some rest.
He took her upstairs and looked around the bare nursery. The furniture hadn't arrived yet and there were baby clothes in piles everywhere. "What are we gonna do with you, princess?," he asked his sleeping daughter, "Daddy and Mommy weren't ready…" he sighed. It was too much to think about and he realised that he'd had just about as much sleep as Olivia and was running on fumes and caffeine.
It was only the early afternoon and he was starting to get heavy eyes. He went to their bedroom as Nova woke up and began to cry. Her cries weren't loud and exhaustive, they were soft and pathetic and made him smile. "Its okay, it's okay… Daddy's with you," he softly crooned as he unwrapped the baby sling and placed her on their bed for a moment.
He did the process of elimination, starting with her diaper — he found the source immediately and made a face at the mess she'd left for him. It had been a long time since he'd changed a baby — Noah would have been the last time and he had to admit, it was a little less risky than being concerned that he could be peed on at any given second while attempting to change her.
He lifted her up and went to get a changing mat — they didn't even have a change station set up yet. Once she was cleaned up, he rocked her until she went back to sleep - he was grateful, he considered she might stay awake and cry until Olivia fed her, but he watched her eyes slowly fall shut as he gently bounced her and swayed her.
Once asleep he took her back downstairs and got comfortable in the couch recliner, disrobing down to his chest and wrapping her back in the sling leaving her in her diaper for some skin to skin time. He placed a blanket gently over her back and flipped the TV channels until he found a travel show to watch.
/
Olivia jumped awake to the sound of her daughter crying softly. She looked around, feeling bleary-eyed and panicked. She sat up, the heat pack falling to the floor and her blanket twisted. Slowly she could breathe when she saw her on Trevor's chest. He was snoring lightly. She got up, still slow and sore and made her way to her husband on the other side of the living room. She reached in to the baby wrap that was fastened around him and slid her out just as Trevor's eyes opened.
"I'm awake!," he said quickly, "I was listening for her, I've got her…"
"No, its okay," she smiled at her husband as she drew Nova to her chest. "We gonna let Daddy have a little rest, aren't we?" She kissed her baby on the head. She leaned over to kiss her husband. "Go back to sleep, it's probably time to feed."
He relaxed back down on the recliner and watched Olivia resume her spot on the couch and pull apart the robe that she had changed in to when she got home. She used a pillow to support her daughter and helped her to latch on.
She sat back, resting her head on the couch and let her eyes close. Trevor wondered if his wife was falling asleep again.
/
"You can leave her here while you go speak to Stuart if you don't want to take her in to that environment," Trevor told his sister as they prepared some food in the kitchen. "Adeline is in love with her new cousin and Noah loves to have a friend around."
"You guys have your hands full," Zoe replied, nodding toward the baby that Trevor seemed to relish having in the sling around his body. "If it's going to turn in to a fight, do you really need Addy there for that?"
"No, but…" she paused and shrugged. "I could just go drop her off at Matts…"
"Zo— I am begging you to just move past what happened when Addy was a baby with Liv being so distraught. It was never ever personal and I know she is heartbroken by the way she made you feel and she truly was happy for you, just… full of grief that she hadn't yet dealt with."
His sister stirred the soup on the stovetop. "I don't hold grudges, Trev and I know she was speaking out of grief and that it wasn't personal, but I always feel like I'm salting the wound by bringing her here. Even though you say its okay, I feel like you guys want it to be okay but it still hurts."
"For me, it absolutely doesn't phase me and I think after Olivia dealt with her grief, it hasn't been a problem for her either. I just want us to move forward and not keep looking back. I know how close you and Liv are and she just wants that relationship with Addy too. I've lost out on a lot of time with my niece and I'm gonna be honest, it does hurt when Matt shares all his photos of Addy and the boys and Noah's kind of left out of that… we thought maybe at first it was because he was adopted, but maybe its partially our own fault."
He could see his sister was beginning to get emotional. "I'm sorry," he said, "I don't mean to make you upset. It just came up the other night when Liv and I were at the hospital after Nova was born… she's so regretful and I think its this weird thing that's remained unspoken since Olivia first apologised."
"I think…" she began, letting go of the pot and putting the oven mits to the side. She scooped her brand new niece from her father so he could cut up some meat, "I think that I was always just so embarrassed by what happened. I was so naive and thought that when I was pregnant, it was my way of coming to you guys so you could share my daughter. I know that sounds so dumb and it probably was, but something that you don't get, was that from the second you guys announced you were having a child, I was invested. I wanted to be the favourite aunt, I wanted to be the one Liv leaned on and shared everything with. I wanted to be as involved as possible without actually overstepping… I had so many big plans for my first niece or nephew. I bought clothes and toys and I started saving money for the adventures I was going to take them on…"
Trevor swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I would never ever compare the loss that I felt to what you or Liv went through, but when it happened I was devastated and when I found out Olivia had to actually give birth…" she shook her head, "I cried for you guys for weeks and I cried for me too, because I really thought that I was going to be the greatest auntie in the world. When I got pregnant, I wanted Olivia to feel like no matter what was going on with her fertility, she would always always be a part of my daughter's life and that she could be as involved as I wanted to be, I wanted to help heal you guys and I was so dumb and insensitive."
Trevor glanced up at his wife who had been standing in the doorway tearfully listening in.
"I'm so sorry, Zoe," Olivia apologised, coming up behind her sister-in-law who had sat down to hold the baby. Zoe looked spooked, horrified even. She sat down beside her sister-in-law, wanting to engulf her in her arms. Zoe wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry for making you feel silly and naive, if I could take back what I said that night I would because I was so out of line and it was so unfair of me."
"It wasn't," Zoe shook her head, reaching out for Liv's hand, "you were just grieving. I've never been mad about it, just angry and embarrassed with myself."
"You don't need to feel like that," Trevor said sincerely.
"Can we just clear the air?" Liv asked, "can you please just let us spend more time with Adeline and let her get close to us the same way she is with the twins and Matty and Therese? We want that more than you know…"
"That's kind of why I decided to find an apartment between you guys and Matt… I want to see you guys more and I want to be able to enjoy my niece and nephew more than I get to."
"So leave Addy with us, go do what you have to do and it'll be fine. She and Noah will play, we'll feed her dinner and you can come afterwards and if things are weird at home, pack your stuff and come and stay here." Trevor told her seriously.
"No, no… I can move in to my new apartment any time after next week and Mom is around and can come and stay if things get too weird." Zoe replied.
"Okay…"
"I've loved hanging out tonight though and I am pretty smug about the fact that I got to be in the birthing room with you guys," she grinned at Liv.
"I'm glad you were there to break it up for Trevor, I may have hurt him permanently and the midwife was starting to piss me off."
They laughed. "Okay, well… I'll go and do what I gotta do, I guess." She passed Nova over to Olivia, giving her a little kiss. "Thanks guys, I'll text you both if there's any problems."
"Thanks for helping me with dinner," Trevor smiled.
/
"Come on guys," Olivia said to the two excitable kids at the dinner table, trying to out-silly each other. "Dinner time isn't for playing, it's for eating. I want you to both finish your broccoli and your potatoes and we can maybe talk about ice cream."
"Auntie Livvie, when is my Mommy coming back?" Adelaine asked. Olivia smiled at her. She had braided her hair for her in to pig tails at her request, something she had always done for Zoe's daughter when they were together. She was excited by the idea of being able to do her own daughter's hair when she was a little older.
"Mommy just had to go home to do some stuff but she's coming back shortly. I think she needed to talk to Daddy."
"Oh, is Daddy gonna be mad again?," she asked, playing with her broccoli that Olivia had cut up in to small mouthfuls.
"My Daddy doesn't get mad, does he, Mommy?" Noah asked.
"Not very often honey," Olivia replied, she turned back to Addy, her interest piqued. "What do you mean, honey? When did Daddy get mad?"
Adeline shrugged, "he got mad and he yelled at Mommy to go away and we went to visit uncle Matty."
"Oh… was he just a little bit mad or a big bit mad?" Trevor asked, sitting down and putting Olivia's dinner before her.
"Thanks," she smiled. He placed Nova in a small hammock that he'd dragged from one room to the other so that they could be near her while they ate. So far she was sleeping well and things were calm and peaceful, but from experience, they both understood that any day that could change with growth spurts.
"Big, big mad!" Addy replied, "Mommy cried when he spanked her in the face,"
Olivia's throat dried up, "Daddy hit Mom with his hand or like this?," she showed the little girl her fist.
Trevor was already up out of his seat. "I'm going to the apartment. Are you okay here?," he asked Olivia. She understood, she wanted him to go too. They both knew from her line of work that when a woman was telling a man she was leaving she was in far more danger than any time during a violent relationship.
"Yeah, of course, go, go…" she replied.
"Like that one, but sometimes like the other one," Adeline replied glancing at her uncle and back to Olivia.
"So more than once?" Olivia further questioned her. Noah looked back at his Dad and his Mom and knew that something serious was happening and understood that it was unusual for Dads to hit Moms.
"Yeah but Daddy said I'm sorry."
Olivia nodded, trying to hide her fury. "Guys, please eat your broccoli, I am going to the living room for one minute so no silliness. Noah, if your sister cries, you need to call out to me but don't touch her okay?"
Noah nodded responsibly.
/
Olivia tried to call Zoe, sticking her head in the dining room to listen to the kids talking. They were doing what they were told and Olivia was proud of her son for trying to kindly direct his cousin to eat her food.
"Hey, what's up?" Zoe asked, Olivia could tell her voice was strained as if she'd been crying.
"Are you okay honey? Are you leaving to come back here soon?," she asked her sister-in-law.
"We're just ummm…" Zoe paused, trying to compose her voice, "we are just sorting out what our next step will be."
"Okay well, I'm just letting you know that Trevor is coming over now, sweetheart, he's not too far away and I want you to let him in and be with you. Get some things and come and stay with us tonight. The kids are really begging for a sleep over," she spoke calmly and gently knowing that Zoe would have picked up on her immediate concern.
"I'm okay, he doesn't need to do that," but the tremor in her voice didn't convince Olivia.
"He doesn't need to, you're right, but you know what Trevor is like, he's protective," she answered.
"I was about to head back to get Addy, Stu wants to be with her as well."
"Zoe," Olivia tried again, wanting her to get the hint in case Stuart was listening in. "Addy is having so much fun."
"Can I call you back and let you know what we decide? I'm just…I'm just in the middle of something, sorry Liv," her voice finally broke and Olivia felt terrible.
"Okay, but call me if you need to. Trevor will be there soon. Love you."
/
Trevor knocked a few times before the front door finally opened. He stood quite tall against his brother-in-law. He wasn't always a huge fan of his sister's partner and even less of a fan as he eyeballed him, furious about what Adeline had told them.
"Hey," he greeted him. He had promised Olivia not to turn up with guns blazing, but to support his sister rather than escalate the situation. "I'm just here for Zo,"
"She's busy, she didn't ask for you to be here Trev, we're having a private conversation, we don't need everyone involved."
"I'm not everyone. I'm her brother and I know she's upset and I know what you did and I want to see my sister," he told him firmly, simply pushing past him, calling out to Zoe a few times while her dark-haired, obnoxious, muscle-fit partner scowled.
"Trevor, I'm fine, you can go…" she called back from the hall.
"I'm not going anywhere until I see you," he followed the source of the sound down until he reached her bedroom - a space he would have never walked in to without invite, but this was different. He was a little shocked when he found Zoe sitting on the bed, her face red and blotched from tears and the entire bedroom trashed— broken cupboards, glass everywhere, a pile of her things fallen out from beneath the upturned drawers.
His mouth fell open. He glanced at his sister. He wanted to turn back down the hall and grab the piece of shit who had was clearly guilty of all the damage. Instead, he stepped over the mess and hugged his sister. "Did he hit you again?," he asked. She started to cry and shook her head but he didn't entirely believe her.
"Zoe, be truthful, did he hit you?"
"He just threw things at me…" she murmured.
Trevor let go of his sister and calmly got up and made his way back down the hall. Stuart innocently sat in front of the TV on the couch as if he had done nothing wrong.
"You are an absolute piece of shit," he said angrily, "first you cheat on my sister and your daughter, you hit her in front of your fucking kid and then you trash the room because she dared call you out on your disgusting behaviour," he spat his words like poison at the man who for one time he had to make the choice to like. "You don't deserve either of them."
"You don't fucking know the full story, this has nothing to do with you, Trevor, leave it alone."
"Leave it al-" he stopped himself from making a beeline to the lazy asshole before him who wouldn't make eye contact.
"You mother fucker, you are lucky I don't beat your ass. If you ever lay a hand on my sister or my niece again you will regret it!," he snapped, turning his back, trying to breathe through his fury. He went back to find his sister.
"Its okay, Zo, let's just…" he stepped over the mess and the broken ornaments and frames. He leaned over and pulled the cupboard back up so that she could get to the drawers. "Do you have a bag?"
"Yeah, in my closet…" she wiped her eyes, "its okay I can do it-" Trevor set foot in to the walk-in-robe to find all of her clothes ripped down in there too.
"Fucking psycho," he muttered. "Pack your things, Zozo, you and Adeline aren't staying here. I'm gonna go pack up some stuff in her room."
"I'll just get some things for the night."
"No," Trevor said, "you're not coming back here unless he's not here and he'd better not damage any more of your things," he said, pulling his phone out. He took photos of everything, all the damage and went to Adeline's bedroom and took photos of some mess in there. It was clear Stu had followed her from room-to-room causing destruction.
He texted Matt and let him know what was going on.
Matt wanted to come immediately, but Trevor urged him against it knowing that his brother might not be able to hold his anger back. Once Zoe had some things Trevor escorted her out of the house. As Zoe stepped out, Trevor turned back. "Do not damage any of either her or Adeline's things. I've taken photos of the mess and all of her belongings and if anything is missing or damaged we're going to the police."
Trevor felt sick as he walked out, his sister was already out on the street, wanting to be far away from her own home. He caught up with her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, honey," he murmured, giving her a little squeeze. "I'm sorry it ended like that, you deserved better."
She wiped her eyes and gave a little nod, trying her best not to cry anymore.
"Addy told us that Daddy hit Mommy and I wasn't letting you deal with that, he's a coward, he wouldn't dare try with me or Matty around."
"What do I do?," she asked, looking up at her brother, "you guys have just come home with the baby, I don't want to stay with you guys tonight. I think I need Mom or Dad."
"You are always welcome regardless, Zo, I promise."
"I know, but… I think I just wanna be near Mom." He could relate to that feeling. At times he just really wanted the comfort of his parents around him. He and Zoe had different biological fathers but Max was the only father he and Matty had known and he had done a stellar job of raising the three of them not to feel a little bit of difference between who was biological and who wasn't.
"So if you really want to be near Mom, go to Matt's…" Trevor levelled with her. "Why don't I take you there and then I'll go get Addy and drop her off or she can stay the night with us?"
"No, no… I'll just come and get her now and call Dad to talk, I know he'll make me feel better."
He felt a little bad that no matter what, his sister opted for comfort anywhere but with him and Olivia, but maybe it was just that, maybe she really did want her Mom.
/
Trevor gave a deep sigh after his sister and niece had left to go to Matt's apartment. He was disappointed, but on the other hand, happy for the quiet and happy for the peace that was finally restored so that he could finally focus back on Olivia, Noah and baby Nova.
"Big day, huh?" Liv smiled gently at him.
He came and sat beside her, slipping an arm around her and pulling the blanket up over the kids and Liv.
"Too big," he replied. "It's nice to have some quiet though and at least we have a changing table now thanks to Amanda and Sonny and hopefully the other stuff will be here as soon as possible," he added.
"People give birth in tiny villages with thriving babies without all of that furniture, so we'll be okay, won't we, my darling?" She spoke to her tiny infant who was awake, quiet and looking around, making some soft noises after her feed. Noah was asleep and had gone out like a light the second that the TV went on and Adeline had almost crashed out in to her ice cream.
Trevor smiled at his wife and kissed her cheek. "You look so giddy and in love," he remarked. "You look the way my heart feels at the moment," he added.
Olivia turned her head and smiled at him. "I'm in love with our family… my heart feels so full and I am just so relieved that we've been blessed with a baby that's perfectly healthy. It makes me almost forget how unprepared I was to be dealing with the healing after giving birth."
Trevor made a face in empathy. "I can't even imagine…"
"You don't want to imagine, trust me… but— I'd do it again in a heart beat."
"We can if you want," he smiled and winked. "We could try for another baby or adopt another baby-"
She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Let's just slow down a little soldier, we need to get through the first few months with sleep deprivation and zombie-living. I'm already so exhausted that I could be sick."
"I know," he smiled, settling down, resting his head on her shoulder. "But it's a nice thought…"
"It is," she agreed, "the nurse said to me that sometimes women find that once they manage to have a baby, their body knows what to do and they don't have any issues having more."
"That's true, you hear of that a bit… but you're right, let's see how we go with these two beautiful little monsters," he smiled. "And… you never know what's in the future… I think Nova is our very true example of that."
"She sure is and I just love my tiny surprise baby. I can't wait to get to know her every day the way I did with Noah… I can hardly believe she's ours…"
"Better believe it baby," he smiled. "She's not going anywhere for a very long time." He couldn't help. Himself, he reached for his baby, taking her from Olivia. He held her beneath her arms, letting the back of his large hand support her neck as he looked at her. "She's going to look like you, I can tell, and I'm so excited, you were so fucking adorable when you were little."
"I hope she gets your beautiful green eyes… she's so beautiful," Olivia sighed.
Trevor drew his daughter in, resting her tiny body against his shoulder, dwarfed by his arms, his hand almost covering her back and head. "What a beautiful, heavenly time for us…" she was overwhelmed with the love for her child and for her family, it was almost too much and too consuming.
"I think we should put her hammock next to the bed and after her next feed you should take the chance to sleep."
Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she agreed, "I'll do that. I can barely keep my eyes open as it is."
"Just rest. I'll take Noah to bed in a second and maybe you should just go to bed, I'll wake you when she needs to feed."
"You need to sleep too, baby," Olivia replied.
"I'm fine, your body needs to recover, you're more important," he said softly, kissing her nose. She gave him a smile. It wasn't true neither was more important than the other, she knew that, but she appreciated that he would always always put her before himself.
"Maybe let's both just go upstairs to bed and we can both take a nap until she wakes up."
He glanced at his baby and let a little smile cross his mouth. "Okay…you take her, I'll take Noah to bed and then bring her hammock upstairs."
/
"I'm worried to put her down and leave her, is that normal?" Trevor asked Olivia when she got in to bed.
"I think so," Olivia replied, "but we have to sleep sometime…"
"Okay," he put the baby down and tucked her in and sighed. "She's sleeping on my side because… I can reach out for her."
"I have arms too Trev," Olivia smirked at him.
"I know, but… I want her on my side," he chuckled.
Olivia chuckled too. "Okay, I love you but you're nuts and I'm going to sleep."
He got in to bed and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you so much, baby."
Olivia got comfortable and so did Trevor. He dragged the hammock closer so he could gently bounce her. He kept his hand gently on her tummy because he was afraid to leave her unattended. He wondered if Olivia felt the same but didn't want to instil his own fears in to her. He knew his daughter was fine, but he couldn't help it.
He was astounded by how fast Liv fell asleep. Within minutes he could hear her snoring lightly beside him. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He pulled his hand away from his daughter and switched the lamp off.
"Goodnight my little super Nova, Daddy loves you." He rolled over and wrapped his arms around his wife who stirred slightly, opening her eyes. "Goodnight Olivia, I love you."
"Mmm I love you too," she murmured.
