A/N: Wow. I have no idea where the time went. Had the whole summer to update, a few weeks into college when I wasn't doing that much and welp…here we are and its been MONTHS since my last update. I sincerely apologize for that. I haven't abandoned this story though, do not worry. I did do some re-uploads with author's notes though, because they didn't show up on the original. And the disclaimers, was scared shit about not having those.
But yeah, here's chapter 3 of Trust Shall Mend a Broken Heart!
Disclaimer: Don't own PMMM. Really wish I did, but I don't. Does PMMM belong to Shinbo, Gen, Shaft, the fans…man, after Rebellion and the spinoff manga, who knows anymore lol.
Chapter 3: Revelation (Part 2)
Kyubey was staring at both Sayaka and Homura with his forever unblinking red eyes. Those eyes chilled Homura every time she looked into them. Like so many times before, the despicable cat was going to ruin all of her efforts to reverse Sayaka's fate. Revealing the truth before she did. She was so very tired of repeating history over and over again. Madoka was probably worried sick about both of them. Who could blame her though? She wondered where she was at the moment.
Suddenly, she was snapped out of her thoughts by Sayaka screaming at Kyubey. "You! What are you doing here? I told you that I didn't want to see your face anymore. How did you get back into my house?"
"Those are excellent questions, Sayaka Miki. But I also have some of my own. The first one would be why Homura Akemi is in your bed. The second would be why are you not a- "
Before he could speak further, Homura fired a .45 pistol at his face she fished out of her shield when Sayaka wasn't looking. She could see his corpse splattered across the floor of Sayaka's apartment as the bluenette turned to look at her with her mouth agape.
"What the Hell was that for, Akemi?!"
"You wanted him dead and out of your house, didn't you?"
"Of course but you didn't have to leave him a bloody mess on my goddamn floor!"
"I'm sorry. He's dead now, so don't worry about it."
"So are you gonna tell me what you meant when you said you weren't from this timeline?"
It was strange to Homura that Sayaka didn't ask her what Kyubey meant about putting her trust in a witch, yet considering how close such a statement came to messing up her plans entirely, she didn't question it. She was finally about to tell her in a moment anyway. Homura gestured to the shield on her arm as she finally spoke once more. "I have been using this device to return to the same month in which I have transferred into Mitakihara Middle School. I've lost track of how many times I've done this, but it was all for one person: Madoka Kaname."
Homura then explained how she and Madoka first met in the original timeline, how she was saved from a witch by her and the upperclassman Mami Tomoe in their magical girl attire. For nearly three weeks, she watched them fight side by side against witches until the giant Walpurgisnacht came and threatened to wipe out the city. By this time, everyone in town was either safely in their shelters or dead. Mami died trying to fight the great witch, leaving Madoka and Homura as the only survivors. To save her life as well as the city, Madoka sacrificed herself in delivering the final blow to Walpurgis. Grief-stricken and mourning over her corpse, Homura immediately made a contract with Kyubey to redo her meeting with her pink haired savior and become strong enough to protect her instead of her being protected by Madoka. It was then that she received her time shield and returned to the same day she was discharged from the hospital nearly a month before. As Homura began to recount the events and details of the timelines, informing Sayaka of the knowledge she obtained about the magical girl cycle and Kyubey's deception bringing about their untimely demise, Sayaka's face began to take on an aghast look. However, there was no freaking out on her part nor threat of tears spilling out from her eyes, nothing like that. She was completely calm and attentive even in her shock, listening to everything Homura was telling her. It was peculiar behavior on her part, but deep down she was satisfied that she was finally able to let all of her feelings and thoughts out after holding them back for so long even if it was to the blue haired girl who she never expected to listen to her in the first place. Finally, after an entire half-hour of Homura talking and Sayaka listening, she finally spoke.
"So all of this time, you were only cold around us because you were trying to protect Madoka since she saved you way back when and felt indebted to her?" Sayaka inquired, her mind still processing everything Homura told her.
"Yes. Its okay if you don't believe me, you almost never do. I'm just so…h-h…I mean, relieved that you didn't turn into a witch." Homura heard herself stutter, something which she thought she had stopped doing several timelines ago. She felt herself getting choked up, happy to have revealed her secrets to someone for once instead of having them bottled up inside of her for so long. Even if it was Sayaka Miki, and the likelihood that she'd believe her and not turn into a witch was very slim.
"I have no reason not to believe you. I had to have suspected something from your heart condition or how you move. I had to have seen the dead look in your eyes. If I even bothered to save you and bring you to my house, then it's not like I didn't care. Isn't that enough to justify me listening to what you have to say as long as you speak honestly and believing in your words even if I don't understand half of them? Plus, you've been helping my childhood friend when I couldn't. How could I hate you for that?" Sayaka tried to give the broken time traveler a reassuring smile, her fingers gravitating to her face as she saw Homura's eyes start to water and spill over whether or not the other girl was aware of that.
"You've gone all of this time, being all alone and suffering for her, for us, for yourself. And I act like I have problems. I truly misjudged you, Akemi, and for that I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. If only I had known…if only you had said something earlier…" Sayaka wiped away the tears on Homura's face, the raven did not fight her when she did this. In fact, she welcomed for once in so many iterations, the warm touch of another's tenderness on her face.
"I was scared, Miki. I've hurt you once before, in trying to protect you, to protect all of you especially and including Madoka. I didn't know what to do anymore. The first time I saw you turn into a witch, I blamed myself. It's because of my loops that Kyubey has been contracting you and you've been suffering. Nobody like you deserves that. There are other ways to be a knight of justice, and being a magical girl truly isn't one of them. I locked my feelings away, and I lost myself in the darkness. Not even Madoka can drag me out now, she probably thinks I'm horribly creepy and psycho…I don't want to do this anymore! Even if all my efforts are fruitless, even if I die trying or turn into the most horrible of witches, even if she hates me…I promised I would save her! But now, what's the point of that if I leave everyone else to suffer…that's not what she wants. But what about what I want? What do I want? What am I even entitled to? What have I been fighting for? I-Hhhhyeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaggh…aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…"
Just then, the time traveler clutched the part of her chest where her heart lay and started breathing and panting heavily. Her body became a shriveling mess on Sayaka's bed, writhing in pain as the Soul Gem ring on her hand manifested the image of her gem and it materialized in between her and Sayaka. It was no longer a pure purple shimmer with small amounts of darkness at its base. Now it had all sorts of cracks strewn across it, faint but very much there. The accumulated grief wasn't pure black but small pools of various colors mixed together forming a rainbow of different patterns. Sayaka had never seen such a phenomenon before.
"Akemi, what's wrong? Homura…Homura! Talk to me, what's going on? Please, I can't help you if you don't speak!" Sayaka spoke to her in a panic, wanting to help her yet knowing not what was happening and what if anything she could do.
"S-S-Sayaka…M-Mi-Mi-ki…S-Sayaka. P-Please, h-help m-me!" Homura exclaimed, her facial features contorted in as much pain as her chest and Soul Gem were clearly in.
"Oh my…it seems as if you haven't been taking very good care of your Soul Gem, Homura Akemi."
The albino cat was back. Of course, shooting him with even the most lethal of stun bullets wouldn't get rid of him. And since he had no regard for physical barriers or personal space, he waltzed right back into Sayaka's room. If he had emotions, he'd probably be gloating at their foolhardiness.
"I've seen this phenomenon before. It's a degeneration process that results from magical girls who haven't been taking good care of their physical bodies which had certain defects or ailments in them before they contracted. What happens is the condition is transferred over to the Soul Gem but does not actually affect it until a certain point in the magical girl's life cycle where she is at her most mentally and emotionally unstable. Instead of being tainted like most magical girls, these girls who manage to live past in spite of their own sicknesses start to slowly break their Soul Gem and accumulate grief simply by continuing to live in pain. It's like as if you were denying the witch access to the outside world, or staving off the inevitable. By all accounts, Homura Akemi should've become a witch a long time ago, but because of her stubbornness and complete disregard for her own physical form, she has made her heart her Soul Gem and set it on a course for being, what you humans call, broken. And it cannot be mended back together so easily. You of all people should know this now, Sayaka Miki, what with what happened between you and your friend Hitomi Shizuki over that boy for who you signed away your soul to me." The beast stared at them after finishing his speech, unfazed by the shocked and tense look on Sayaka's face as she frantically tried to pin Homura down to the bed and hopefully keep her under control so that she didn't strain herself further or lash out at him.
"I've only seen this a few times before," the creature continued. "In all of those times, it's never been as serious as Homura Akemi's circumstances, but the magical girls who did experience this eventually found the remedy. Sayaka Miki, do you want to save Homura Akemi? You do have healing powers after all, so if anyone is capable of doing so, it would be you."
Sayaka didn't know how to respond to all of this. While she and Homura weren't friends, a lot had changed between them that night. She couldn't say she was sure how she felt about the black-haired girl, but deep down inside herself she had a burning desire to save her by any means necessary. Sayaka wanted to take away her pain and sorrow, prevent her from ever being alone again and from suffering for Madoka and although Homura would never admit it, Sayaka's sake as well as the others so much and for so long. That was all Sayaka Miki cared about now.
"Yes, I'll do anything. I don't care what it is. I don't care if it's because it's the right thing to do or it's something I actually want. Either way, tell me everything I need to know in order to save her. To save H-Homura…A-Akemi." Sayaka finished with a small tinge of red on her face.
…
"Sayaka-chan?"
Madoka tilted her head and she looked around the corner of a street and called Sayaka's name in the little bit of hope that she would find her childhood friend. Nothing. Madoka looked around worriedly, hoping to see a familiar head of blue hair. The pinkette had been searching for Sayaka for at least an hour but found no lead towards finding her.
"Please be okay..." Madoka felt something tap her shoulder, which caused her to jump in fright and squeak a little.
"Hey, calm down would ya?"
A familiar sounding voice did nothing to quell her nervousness as she quickly turned around to the source of it. It was the redhead girl that Sayaka fought. Madoka panicked and jumped back away from her.
"I...I...umm, hi?" She waved nervously at her, hoping the redhead wasn't in the mood for a fight or anything. The redhead took out a piece of candy and popped it into her mouth.
"You don't have to be nervous, jeez. I'm not here to pick a fight."
Madoka tried her best to remain calm and slowed down her breathing. "Then, why are you here?"
The Mahou Shoujo sighed. She had been searching for both Homura and Sayaka all night but found nothing, so she decided to ask the little pinkette.
"Have you seem any of your friends tonight? You know? The annoying blue haired one, or the stuck up brunette?"
"Homura and Sayaka? Sorry but I haven't. I've been looking for them all night, but I can't find them."
The redhead sighed. "I see." She began to tap her foot on the ground for a few seconds while wearing a thoughtful expression. She exhaled once more. "Well do you want to help me search for them? Someone like you shouldn't be wondering around at night anyway."
Madoka was surprised by the sudden request, but in a good way. "Huh, umm, sure." The pinkette quickly agreed before extending her hand to formally greet the Mahou Shoujo. "I'm Madoka Kaname, it's nice to meet you."
The redhead tilted her head to the side for a moment. She was little surprised at the formal greeting. She sighed a little before smirking and giving Madoka's hand a candy bar. "The name is Kyoko Sakura, and don't you forget it."
The two went to find Homura and Sayaka together but after what felt like hours, there was no luck for them. Though the time spent wasn't a complete waste. While searching, the two had made some small talk with each other. At the end of it all, Madoka had a much more positive opinion of Kyoko Sakura. It was getting way too late for Madoka to be out, so she needed to head home.
"So, umm, see you later, Sakura-san." Madoka said while as she waved a little before heading in the direction of her home. Kyoko waved back.
"Alright then, see ya kid. You're all right by the way." The small compliment caused a smile to form on Madoka's face as she headed home.
…..
"I have to do WHAT?!"
Sayaka was beside herself at Kyubey's words, her face now steaming scarlet. She could not believe anything the cat had just told her, or more to the point, she didn't want to.
Meanwhile, Kyubey stared at the blue haired girl without taking his eyes off of her. Ultimately, he did not understand why Sayaka would react this way to his words on the particular topic, but it wasn't like he was inexperienced with this type of situation either.
"You humans always react this way. You two basically signed your souls away for another person, deluding yourselves into believing that you could expect some sort of gratitude from them in accordance with your desires. Is sexual intimacy not one of the highest forms of desire itself in the echelon of human nature and his instinctual sensibilities? Or is it because your race acts upon feeling instead of logic that you are unable to accept the solution that has been offered to you? I do not understand why you would act so adamant against sleeping with Homura Akemi. In the end, all you humans are the same. Each soul shines with the energy of life and power in it, some more than others. All that separates you are your physical bodies and those are merely collateral damage. Both of you made your wishes in order to gain a power called love, one that I do not and probably will not ever understand the purpose and meaning behind. But in this way, by transferring your affections for the people you wished for to each other, you'll get your wishes fulfilled. At least that I can guarantee." The Incubator finished, licking his paw and rubbing it behind his ears as a mere cat would.
"D-Do y-you h-have a-any i-idea…w-what y-you j-just said…" Sayaka stated, stuttering with a face far too bewildered and flustered for proper articulation. "I c-can't s-sleep w-with H-Homura…s-she d-doesn't e-even l-like me and she's in l-love w-with m-my b-best friend. H-How c-could I do t-this…w-with her?"
"Well then, Sayaka Miki. I guess you'll just have to ask yourself which is more important. Your self-consciousness for sleeping with someone who is not Kyousuke Kamijou or saving Homura Akemi's life. Either way, you better hurry up and make that decision, because you only have several hours before the degeneration becomes critical. And the whole process itself takes 24 hours, possibly even longer."
"24 hours?! I have to have sex with Homura for one whole day?!" Sayaka was flabbergasted.
"I do not consider what you would be doing to be a form of procreation or consummating a union through in those terms as humans call it, yet since the ideal method of this process being successful would be to lie atop of her without wearing any garments or fibers you humans tend to wrap yourselves in and touch her Soul Gem with your own, staying in that position for the allotted time necessary…then yes, I suppose you could call it that. Be lucky that anything more than what I have said isn't required. I've met plenty of magical girls who were stuck in the same situation as you who would willingly try to emulate sexual intercourse despite lacking the physiological makeup and appendages for such an act to be genuine."
Sayaka really wished the cat would shut up, but he did have a point. After all, was there really anything else for them to lose? What did they even have anyway? Hitomi won Kyousuke's heart, Sayaka was a zombie who had her body and her soul but could only use them to fight witches and save others without expecting or hoping for gratitude if she intended to survive and not turn into a witch…and Homura had probably distanced herself from Madoka to the point where she didn't want to be anywhere near her unless it was absolutely necessary.
Plus, she had misjudged her. They really weren't that different after all. They were both fools in love, only dreaming of the possibility of protecting the person they held dear to their hearts yet forever failing in the process. But seeing as Homura herself had lasted this long but never gave up hope and never turned into a witch, she was stronger than Sayaka. Even when it was hopeless to try and save Madoka, Homura never stopped trying despite the fact that it was more than likely that they would never be together. She had to admire that about her, as she herself wanted desperately to protect Madoka, her best friend that she loves so dearly, but never had the strength to do so. 'I may not know about everything that Homura has gone through and maybe I'll never fully understand her, but she is strong and has been fighting so long. I have to make it up to her. And if saving her…like t-this…i-is t-the o-only way…I'll d-do it.'
Sayaka took a deep breath. She looked at Kyubey, announcing her decision. "Alright, Incubator…I've d-decided. I'll perform t-this…power resonance…w-with H-Homura…to heal her…b-but nothing more than that." She still could not stop glowing red at the thoughts of what she was about to do.
He blinked at her. "Really? Fair enough, then. I'm sure in the end, Homura Akemi will indeed have your gratitude." He was about to walk away until Sayaka picked him up by the nape of his neck and brought him to her face level.
"Under ONE condition. You do NOT say a word about this to ANYONE! Especially not Madoka Kaname and Kyouko Sakura. Is that understood?"
Kyubey was unfazed by Sayaka's words and actions. But alas, he would comply with them. Dying again only to replace his body almost instantly was such a pain. "Very well then. I'll be taking my leave. Good luck, Sayaka Miki. Here's to hoping that this won't turn out to be a massive failure and result in one or both of you becoming witches. But that's of no consequence to me." The cat dropped out of her hands and walked away, leaving her apartment by seemingly vanishing into thin air.
Sayaka took a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm about to do this." She began removing her clothes one by one. Starting with her white top and hot pants she wears when she's not at school, until she was only in her blue fleece bra and panties. She blushed, now fully exposed and aware of the purpose for it too. "Do I really have to take 'this' off too? Well, might as well do it properly if I'm gonna do it at all." She then proceeded to take off her bra and finally slide out of her panties, having finished the job. She muttered and then walked over to her bed where Homura had been lying still for quite some time now.
Homura was just waking up from having passed out before Kyubey's conversation with Sayaka, who had tried to clean her gem with one of her own Grief Seeds, put a wet towel across her forehead and dressed her in her own pajamas so that she wouldn't catch cold. She did not know the nature of the details that Kyubey told her, but that wasn't the biggest question on her mind. Right now she simply wanted to know why her soul gem was dark purple, cracked in various places across its surface and even had flecks of red and green accumulating at its base. The next question she had was why Sayaka Miki was coming toward her, stark naked with an uncharacteristically stoic face. Before she could have such questions answered, she felt the blue haired girl's hands on her, trying to rip off the pajamas she provided her with in the first place.
"M-Miki….S-Sayaka! Sayaka! W-What are you doing?! S-Stop this, stop it right now! Have you become a witch? I d-don't want to fight you or kill you but I damn well will! Get off of me right now! Sayaka, please! Don't hurt me, I'm sorry!"
Sayaka had no doubt that she'd react like this, as she could feel her lithe, nude body, probably and most likely anorexic writhing under her weight. She had succeeded in removing the pajamas and pinning Homura to the bed. She spoke softly to the unnerved and flustered girl beneath her, who was now motionless and cold to the touch. She lifted her hand up to the brunette's face, brushing away her tears of shock and anguish. Homura could feel her cheeks warm at her touch, all of her fears utterly dissipated.
"Homura. Please calm down. I have not become a witch. I am not going to hurt you or kill you. Just listen to me, please!"
No longer under the impression that the blue haired prince planned to defile her out of some kind of twisted revenge and carnal urging, Homura took a deep breath and sunk down into the bed. "Very well, Sayaka. I'll listen to what you have to say. What did that Incubator tell you?"
"Soul Gem Power Resonance."
Homura's eyes shot open and her jaw dropped. "What?!"
"Kyubey said that the origin of each of our wishes' potential is the power and strength of love. The love I possess for Kyousuke and the love you harbor for Madoka. Your Soul Gem is dying, Homura. You are dying. You don't take care of yourself. You hold your feelings inside you, bottling them up until they consume you. You fear that you cannot ever hope to win if you don't suffer on Madoka's behalf. From what I can tell, you don't eat or drink much if anything, you barely sleep and you never so much as allow anyone other than Madoka to touch you or receive any kindness and gratitude. And now, you don't even expect nor want any of that from her. But you have no idea what to do. You have no way to cope with all of that pain. Your only reason for continuing on in life, for fighting as hard as you do is to see Madoka safe. You don't care what happens to you in the process. But I do. I don't want you to die. I don't want to watch you destroy yourself, now that you've told me everything. And maybe not everything. I'm sure you're still holding back. But it doesn't matter. I found a solution. A way to save you from yourself. I have healing powers. I can heal your soul and your heart, just as I healed Kyousuke's hand. I know that this is all sudden. I know that you probably won't think much differently toward me when this is all over. But you have to trust me. You have to believe that I can save you. You have to believe that love…heal all wounds. Please, Homura. Will you let me heal you? Will you let me take away this burden of yours? Will you give Sayaka Miki a chance? Will you trust her? Trust me?"
Homura tried to take in all of the heartfelt declarations of the blue haired girl with whom she always had rocky interactions. Sayaka's words were genuine and to the point. It was far too late for her to care whether she did anything rash. Sayaka was her last hope. And magical girls were meant to exist as Messengers of Hope. Of Justice. And of course, Love. Due to the kindness and compassion that this girl had shown her, after so many timelines of being alone and misunderstood, starving for affections, Homura only had one answer for her. She pulled her down by her shirt collar, Sayaka's lips smashing into hers. Her breath tasted of blue raspberries. And Homura could feel Sayaka's hand moving her Soul Gem to her bedside counter, then picking up her own and placing it right next to it so that they were pressed against each other. A mirror image of what these lovelorn corpses who desired affection from one another were now. And finally, telepathically she spoke to the girl on top of her, embracing her with their lips melded together.
"Yes. I'll trust you, Sayaka Miki. I managed to save you, so if you want, go ahead and save me. Not just because of what Madoka would want. Not just because of what we need from one another. Not just because it's the only way I won't fall apart beyond repair. But because it's what I want. What you want. What we both want…is Love. And Trust."
As their bodies and Soul Gems simultaneously became one, these girls had only one thought on their mind. The inevitable Truth that had evaded their grasp for so long, now the answer took shape in their intimacy and mutual healing.
"Trust shall mend a Broken Heart."
For now, that was enough for them.
A/N: Well that escalated quickly. This won't be a lemon, but there's still going to be some sexy Meguca antics (but serious in this case, not fluff because of the healing and what not). I'd like to give a shout out to the fantastic KyouHomu fanfiction Time by apinchofushyn which you should all totally go read when you have the chance. It sort of served as the main inspiration for the 'sexual longing/healing' plot I'm about to have between Homura and Sayaka in future chapters. Especially this next one, which is gonna be quite a challenge for me. I plan to take an idea from a chapter from Soul Intercourse by Moiderah of Writing and Angel0Wonder, an amazing HomuSaya fanfiction I need to see continued during my lifetime at the very least. Seriously, beautiful stuff, almost as powerful, deep and feelsy as PMMM canon itself. Talking about Different Story-tier writing and storytelling. Like damn man. But I'm hoping chapter 4 won't take too long. I'm now deep into my first semester of freshman year in college though…so who knows at this point. It definitely won't be MONTHS next time, rest assured.
Thanks for being so patient with me. I hope you liked this new chapter and the KyouMado interactions a lot. I've never written them before, but StormFarron got me all hyped on that pairing and oh goddess, it's SO adorable. Hell, could've shipped it in episode 9 and 12, if I'd known it would be 'shippable'. Kind of wish they got some moments between them in Rebellion (although Kyouko's neverending existential torment of getting a 'happy dream' at the expense of one of her best friends being a witch, the girl she once said she could've considered a little sister becoming God and her completely forgetting about her and then of course, Sayaka having been taken by the Law of Cycles and her forgetting about THAT…I mean she was upset over forgetting Madoka or Homura saying she shouldn't remember her in addition to being sad about Homura and Sayaka themselves so it counts…man, Kyouko REALLY doesn't get a break. She's so amazing though. Poor girl. ;_;), but oh well. Maybe next season/spinoff.
Anyway, more HomuSaya healing and eventual loving is coming your way, so stay tuned. Read and review as always, because it makes the fledging writer in me feel all sorts of good inside, lol. That's all folks, for now at least!
