Chapter Two: Panic Is An Acceptable Reaction
"Ariaaaaa," a voice called, making her open her eyes. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn't at home in her own bed. She sat up with a frown, looking towards the voice that had been babbling. She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands.
"Mum says it's time to get up if you want a shower, because once the boys get up all the bathrooms will be taken. And if we don't get down to breakfast before them, there won't be anything left," Ginny was saying. Aria blinked at her for a moment, then stood and stretched. Ginny was already dressed for the day, the long red hair in wet clumps around her shoulders.
"Alright, I'm up, thanks for waking me," Aria said, grabbing the dress and leggings she has set out last night.
Once she was showered and dressed with her hair towel dried, Aria wandered down the stairs to the Kitchen, where she could hear Mrs. Weasley talking.
"Good morning Mrs. Weasley," Aria said, walking through the doorway.
"Oh good morning dear. I don't know if you were introduced last night, but this is my husband Arthur," she said, using her wand to make a plate of bacon fly to the table where Mr. Weasley sat reading the paper and drinking coffee. Aria took a seat in the same chair she had occupied the previous night, trying to stay out of the way of the flying food. Ginny had sat next to her father and was already eating, so Aria took a piece of toast and began to butter it.
"Do you want anything to drink dear? We have tea or orange juice or milk," Mrs. Weasley offered, coming over to give Aria a napkin and push her damp bangs out of her face. Aria nearly jumped at the contact, not used to being doted on.
"Uh, could I have some coffee by any chance?" Aria asked, glancing at the cup Mr. Weasley held.
"Coffee?" Mrs. Weasley asked, blinking. "Sure I guess, but if you haven't had it before you won't like it," she said, scuttling away to fill a mug with coffee.
"I've had it before," she said as Mrs. Weasley carried the mug back to her. "My dad drank it all the time," she added as an explanation in case one was needed.
Aria sighed as she sipped the warm liquid, and a headache she didn't know she had began to ebb. She nibbled on her toast, not really that hungry so early in the morning. She figured Mrs. Weasley might have tried to make her eat more, but at that moment there were thundering footsteps coming down the stairs, and before Aria could blink, there were three more red headed children at the table, all of them reaching for food across the table.
"Fred! George! Ron! Behave, we have a guest," Mrs. Weasley snapped, making all three of them freeze and turn towards Aria.
"Um, hi," she said, holding back a smile of amusement.
"This is Ronald," Mrs. Weasley said pointing to the shortest red head. "The twins are Fred and George," she continued, pointing at the identical boys. Aria frowned, not being able to tell them apart. "Oh, and here comes Percy and Bill," she continues as two older boys came down the stairs.
She picked out Percy by his bright red Prefects badge, and then recognized Bill from his longer hair and his fang shaped earring, very similar to how he was described in the last book.
"Hi," Aria said, waving at them as they came in.
"Boys, this is Aria, she is staying with us for the rest of the summer," Mrs. Weasley said, then turned back to the stove. As soon as her back was turned, the twins and Ron began to fight over the food again and Aria let out a chuckle. The atmosphere of the room was friendly, and very loud, which was not what Aria was used to, coming from a small family that didn't take meals together.
"So, what are you boys up to today?" Mrs. Weasley asked the table at large as she finally took a seat and began to eat.
"I'm finished with my summer homework, so I'm going to spend time reading ahead in my books," Percy said, sitting straight backed. The twins snickered at him, and Aria let out a small smile as well. Everyone in this family was exactly how she imagined they would be.
"I was thinking about going into town," Bill said, and Aria perked up a bit.
"Oh can we go too mum? Please?" One of the twins asked, both grinning widely.
"I suppose so," Mrs. Weasley said. "As long as Bill agrees."
"May I go along as well? I'd like to see the town," Aria asked, making Mrs. Weasley frown slightly.
"I don't know if you should be moving around so much. You were unconscious most of yesterday," she said.
"I feel fine, I promise," Aria said, trying not to feel irritated. It had been a very long time since she'd had to ask permission to go somewhere, and she didn't much like it.
"Well, alright. Just make sure you stay close to the boys," she said after a moment.
"Can I go too mum?" Ron asked, his mouth half full of bacon.
"No, You and Ginny still haven't finished your chores from this week," Mrs. Weasley said, scowling at them. They both sunk farther into their chairs.
"I'm off to work in a few minutes," Mr. Weasley said, folding up his paper.
Aria finished her toast, then ran upstairs to get her shoes, which were now a couple sizes too large, and was back downstairs by the time the boys were ready to go.
"So, what's your story?" One of the twins asked as the four of them walked down the road towards the village.
"Why are you staying here?" The other one continued, coming to walk on either side of Aria. At only 13, both of them were still quite short, only a few inches taller than she was.
"Well," she said, not really sure what story she should tell them. After a few moments, she settled on one. "I'm from America, I was going to stay with my aunt, but she's a muggle and she really understand magic. It makes her uncomfortable, so Dumbledore said it would be better if I could stay here for now."
"So you move here from America?" The twin on her right asked.
"I wanted to go to Hogwarts," Aria said in explanation, smiling. "I've wanted to go since I was little." At least that wasn't a lie. She had dreamed about it when she was younger.
"Oh," the twin on the left said, nodding. "So your parent's were magical?"
"Yeah, but they lived as muggles for my whole life," Aria said. She had decided last night that this was the best explanation for why she knew about magic but hadn't seen it before.
"That's odd," the right twin said.
"Yeah. For a really long time I thought that Hogwarts and magic was just a story," Aria said, smiling at the irony of that. "I didn't actually know magic existed until a few weeks ago."
Both boys nodded and fell silent. Aria was content, walking down the road with the three red hairs boys, and she actually started becoming excited for the school year to begin.
"So whats with the eyes?" It was Bill's turn for questions now, it seemed. He had been walking a little ahead of them, off to the right, but obviously he'd been listening.
"The eyes?" Aria asked, then frowned. She had completely forgotten that Dumbledore had mentioned a change in her eyes last night. "I'm not sure. It's new."
"It's awesome you mean," one of the twins said, and she couldn't help but grin back at their expressions. "Can you do any other colors besides blue?"
"I have no idea," she said, shrugging.
"You should try. The blue yours turn is a little creepy," the other twin said, chuckling. "It's almost… cold."
"I'll work on it," she said, shaking her head.
"Alright you three," Bill said as they finally reached the outskirts of the village. "As long as you all stick together, you can go wherever you want. I'll meet you back here in an hour." They nodded and he left, heading toward what Aria recognized as a cafe.
"He's going to flirt with the waitress," one of the twins said, smirking.
"He come's down every Friday at this time," the other twin said.
"And he thinks we don't notice," the first twin finished, shaking his head.
Aria chuckled at them, then looked around, spotting a clothing store not far from them.
"Can we go in there?" She asked, pointing. Both boys groaned. "Not for long, I just want to look around," she continued, giving them the puppy dog eyes. They looked at each other for a moment, then back at Aria.
"We'll tell you what,"
"As long as you don't tell,"
"And meet us before Bill comes back,"
"We can split up."
"Do you know how annoying it is when you do that?" Aria asked, looking between them with a frown on her face. They both smiled identical grins and nodded.
"Fine, I don't care. Come find me in there whenever you are done with whatever you are doing," Aria said, then turned to walk away before they could answer.
She wandered into the store, taking note of the old building and the single door and the bored looking girl behind the counter. Looking around at the slight clutter, she realized that this must be a second hand store, which made her feel much better about her mornings plans.
She nodded to the girl at the desk when she walked in, and waited until the girl went back to reading her magazine to start scanning the shelves. She picked up a couple pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts and wandered back to the changing rooms.
After finding two pairs of jeans that fit and three t -shirts, she peeked through her door to see if the girl was still at her desk, then slipped back inside and pulled off her dress and leggings. She slipped one pair of pants on, then the other one right over it, and rolled up the bottoms so they were the same length as the leggings, then pulled those on over it. Her legs looked a little bulky in places, but it was passible. No one would notice. Then she pulled the t-shirts on in the same manner, making sure the sleeves were tucked under the sleeves of her dress. She stepped out of the changing room, carrying another pair of jeans and two shirts that hadn't fit very well, then wandered over to the shoe section. She tried on a few pairs of trainers until she found one that fit. She could see the girl glance up from her magazine a few times, but not out of suspicion. When she thought she had procrastinated long enough, Aria put on a pair of sneakers that fit her, and carried her own shoes and the clothes she didn't want up to the counter and set them down, reaching in the pocket of her dress to pull out some American dollar bills.
"Um, excuse me, do you accept American money here?" She asked, doing her best to make her voice sound innocent and curious. The girl raised an eyebrow, then shook her head.
"Sorry, love, we only use Euros," she said, and Aria sighed in fake disappointment.
"Sorry to bother you then," she said, pushing the things across the counter and turning to leave the store. She let out a breath as she left the store without a problem, and wandered over to the bench in front of it to wait for the twins to come back. She only had to wait about ten minutes, and once they came back, the three of them went to the cafe where Bill was sitting at the counter, smiling at a pretty girl with dark brown hair.
"Can we go home now, it's been an hour," one of the twins asked.
"Fine, come on, lets go," Bill said, standing with a sigh and leaving some muggle money on the counter.
When they got home, the twins disappeared upstairs, probably to hide whatever they had gotten in town from their mother, and Aria followed behind them to Ginny's room. The other girl wasn't there, so Aria quickly stripped off the clothes she had taken and tucked them away. She had just straightened her dress when Ginny came bounding into the room.
"Want to play a game of Quidditch with the others? We need one more to make the teams even because Percy won't play," she said, bouncing on the balls of he feet.
"I've never flown before," Aria said, following Ginny down the stairs anyway.
"That's okay, you can be keeper, then you don't have to move around too much," Ginny said, grinning as they left the house and started out to the field where the others were already zooming around on broomsticks.
"Aria!" Ginny called from behind her, and she turned in surprise. The small girl was jogging up to Aria, holding two very old looking brooms.
"Sorry, I thought you were right behind me," Aria said, taking the broom Ginny handed her.
"It's fine, I just went to the broom shed," Ginny said, gesturing to a worn wooden building a ways from the house. "This is Charlie's old broom, it doesn't go very fast but I thought it would be okay since you haven't flown before."
"Okay," Aria said, nodding along and trying to see how the others were seated on the broom. She threw one leg over, making are her dress was secured under her legs, and gripped the handle tightly, slightly nervous of taking off. She still wasn't used to the whole magic thing, it felt like a dream almost.
"Good," Ginny said, adjusting where Aria's hands were. "Just hold on there, and jump up hard to get started, I'll show you," she said, then mounted the broom and kicked off hard. Her broom looked hesitant to fly at first, but then it picked up and she flew off to the field. Aria watched the others for a moment, then looked down at her broom, closed her eyes, and jumped into the air as Ginny had. She half expected to come crashing down on the grass, but when nothing happened for a moment she opened her eyes. She found herself hovering a few feet off the ground, her toes just brushing the top of the long grass. She grinned and leaned forward to put her feet on the stirrups, and nearly screamed as she began to move forward.
"It's really easy once you get the hang of it," Ginny called, zooming up beside Aria and coming to a stop. "Just lean forward to go faster, and pull up on the handle to slow down. Lean to the sides to turn, just be careful not to turn too fast or you'll fall off. Ready?"
Aria nodded, not trusting herself to open her mouth. She leaned forward slightly, flying next to Ginny as the approached the field.
The boys all called greetings, then split up into teams, Charlie, Ron and Fred on one side, and Aria, Ginny and George on the other. They only used the Quaffle, two people zooming around with the ball, and the last one guarding the single large goal, which was actually just left over parts of an old fence on once side, and the space between the chicken coop and the gravel drive on the other side. None of the players flew too high, not wanting to be spotted by the distant village, and Aria was grateful they stayed low to the ground.
After nearly half an hour, Aria was confident enough to take a hand off the broom to try to block the ball from going in her goal, and when she finally stopped one, her team cheered, making her feel better about flying.
They called it quits after a few hours, heading inside for lunch. They hadn't been keeping score, but if they had, Aria's team would have lost spectacularly, thanks to her abysmal keeping skills.
Sitting around the table with the whole family, laughing and joking, made Aria oddly home sick, and she picked at her food, a frown on her face. She'd had a cat at home, who would take care of him now? Hopefully the friend she had gotten to take care of him for her three day's away would continue to look after him. And what would happen to her apartment when she wasn't there to pay the bills? What would happen to her things? Who would tell her family she wasn't there anymore? Or did she just not exist in her world anymore? Was she just never born? Would kids there pick up the Harry Potter books and read about a boy and his three friends instead of a boy and his two friends? What would happen if she changed the story line? How could she possibly keep from changing things? Just her being there would change things, wouldn't it? She couldn't just sit back and let all those people die…
At that moment, though she couldn't see it, her eyes had turned a pale blue, almost grey color while she thought. She turned to watch the twins across the table. There was no way she could let Fred die during the war, not if she could prevent it. She looked around at the family again. In just a few years Ginny would be taken over by Voldemort, Bill would get mauled by a werewolf, Mr. Weasley attacked by a snake, Fred would be gone, George would be miserable…
How could she let that happen? This family was perfect, exactly what a family should be, she couldn't just sit back and watch them go through so much pain. She set her fork down and leaned back in her chair, her appetite lost.
"Knut for your thoughts?" Bill said quietly from beside her. She looked up at him for a moment and he blinked as her eyes changed back to their usual green. She almost smiled, thinking about how odd it was that he was the same age she had been before she came here.
"I'm just missing home a bit," she said, turning back to her food. Bill nodded, then smiled at her, shaking off the sudden chill that ran down his spine.
"Don't worry, we all miss home when we start school, you will get used to it after a while," he said. She smiled and nodded, but she wasn't sure if he was right.
Then another sudden thought hit her, what if she woke up back at home and left this place? She supposed it would be good… but she knew she would get attached to the people here, and then she would miss them terribly if she left. She shook her head. Trying not to get attached would be impossible. She already felt like Ginny was a little sister to her, and she definitely felt the need to keep Fred from dying, and she couldn't even tell the twins apart yet. How much harder would it be when she became friends with everyone? Impossible.
"You look tired dear," Mrs. Weasley said from behind her. "I knew that trip into town was a bad idea. Why don't you go upstairs and have a nap?"
"I am a bit tired," Aria said, but it was a lie. She really just wanted to get away and think for a bit. "Thank you for lunch Mrs. Weasley. It was very good," she said, standing with her plate in her hand, intending to walk it to the kitchen.
"I'll take that dear, you run along and have your nap," the woman said, smiling down at Aria.
"Thank you," Aria said, then turned to walk up the stairs.
When she reached Ginny's room, Aria had the sudden sensation of being suffocated. She didn't want to pace around a tiny room to think, she wanted to be outside, but there was no way she could sneak out the front door without everyone downstairs noticing. She stood outside the door for a moment, her breathing getting heavier, then turned and fled up the stairs. She climbed up three more staircases before finally spotting the trap door to the attic, pulling the string to open the staircase, and clambering up them.
She ignored the moaning from the ghoul in the corner, not the least bit surprised he was there, then spotted what she was looking for, a large window in the gently slanted ceiling. She tugged the glass open, struggling against years of disuse and rust, then finally, once the gap was big enough, she slid through it and clambered to the peak of the roof, sitting with her back against the thin chimney.
She began to sob, not really knowing why she was crying, but she couldn't hold it in. Her throat tightened, making her panic more and take in short, quick breaths. She couldn't think about anything other than breathing, and her sobs got stronger, making her whole body shake slightly. As she coughed and gasped, she wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them in, setting her head between her knees. This carried on for nearly ten minutes, but finally, her breathing bean to return to normal, and her tears stopped falling. She left her head on her knees, taking deep slow breaths to calm herself down. It had been over a year since the last time she'd had a panic attack, and she really didn't like having one now, in a house surrounded by people who would worry about her and try to take care of her. She hated being taken care of, and she hated living with people, she was much better off on her own, and now it seemed like it would be years until she was alone again.
She lifted her head and leaned it back against the chimney, staring up at the blue sky with a few sparse clouds drifting through it. A flock of birds flew past her, settling in a nearby tree, and she could hear the rustle of the long field grass in the wind.
Aria let out a final sigh and closed her eyes, letting the wind caress her face and blow her hair around her neck. She wiped the remaining tears from her face, then took a few slow, deep breaths, trying to let the stress out as she had learned to do during the yoga class she took on Thursdays. She tried to empty her mind, letting all the questions that popped up just drift away with the wind that was pushing her hair into her face.
She wasn't sure how long she was up there when she heard clanging from below and opened her eyes. A red haired head poked out the window and looked around for a moment, finally stopping on her.
"What are you doing up here?" One of the twins asked, quirking a brow at her. "You're lucky mum doesn't know you disappeared, she'd have the whole house turned upside down."
"Oh, sorry. I was just feeling a bit claustrophobic inside," Aria said, scooting down toward the window and letting herself drop inside.
"Don't let her see you up there, she would have a fit," the twin said, grinning at her. Aria ave him a small smile back.
"Fred, is she up there" a voice called from the bottom of the ladder to the attic.
"Yep, found her," Fred called down. "Mum sent us up to ask if you wanted dinner or if you would rather sleep," he continued, climbing down the ladder first, than moving aside to let her down.
"I'm not really hungry," Aria said, frowning. She must have been up there longer than she realized if it was dinner time already. "I think I'll just sleep. Could you not mention to her about the roof thing please?"
"No problem," Fred said, draping an arm around her shoulder and steering her toward the stairs.
Once back in Ginny's room, Aria was overcome by a sudden exhaustion. She knew panic attacks always made her tired afterwords, and now she was glad she had said she would take a nap as she could hardly keep her eyes open. She had just enough energy to kick off her shoes and fall into bed before she was completely out.
