Hey y'all sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I'm trying to update more than once a week but school is crazy and everything is busy. But fear not, I'm trying to spend more time writing. What I usually do is outline chapters while I'm in class but when I'm out of class I never have time to type them up but I'm gonna be better about that.
Also, I'd like to declare this story officially an AU. I've been thinking about how to go about this because obviously my story is going a different direction than the canon of the show is, so I'm calling this an AU.
But kind of like an AU-lite, like the characters are the same but the situation is different. I'm going to pull things from the show as I please but for the most part the events in this story are different than what happens on the show. I'm planning on this story going on for a while, because I love writing Clara and Clara/Doctor and Clara/Danny.
But yeah, all that being said, here goes! Again disclaimer: I don't own anything yadda yadda and I hope y'all enjoy this!
Chapter 3
"Can't I ever just visit you lot without there being a huge crisis?" the Doctor asked as he stood back to back with Madame Vastra, walking in circles and eyeing the incoming troops of aliens.
"Where the Doctor goes, trouble follows," Vastra replied.
"Well yes this is troubling," the Doctor said. "They are going to kill us."
"Don't you have a plan?" Vastra asked.
"Do I ever have a plan?" the Doctor replied.
Vastra scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"Doctor!" Clara said as she ran in to the room. She skidded to a stop as they saw the alien enemies closing in on the Doctor and Vastra.
"Where's Jenny?" Vastra asked. "And Strax?
"They're safe," Clara assured Vastra.
"Clara, stand away, they're going to kill us," the Doctor said.
"No they won't. We found it," Clara said, looking around the room. "We found the piece of their ship that they were looking for, we have it."
"What?" the Doctor asked. "Clara, that's not possible. It burnt up in the atmosphere when it fell to Earth. There was no way you could've found it."
The aliens turned to Clara. "Hand it over now or we will destroy your planet."
"It doesn't need to come to that," Clara said, taking a step forward. "Let's just have it be you and me, yeah? You're the leader of this group, aren't you? Like their general?"
"I'm their queen," the alien creature replied. She was short, shorter than Clara, adorned in bright gold armor that covered her entire body but her eyes and mouth. She had four eyes, all glaring at Clara, daring her to make a move. Her lips were a deep blue, like the sky in the middle of the night, and her mouth contained rows of teeth sharpened to a deadly point.
"Well, your majesty," Clara said, "Come with me. I'll take you to it."
"Clara," the Doctor said in a warning tone.
"No it's alright," she said to the Doctor. She turned back to the Queen. "Come with me. We can sort this out."
"If this is a trick, we will destroy your planet," the Queen replied.
"Yes, yes, you are very keen on destroying the planet," Clara said. "Come on."
She walked out of the room and the Queen followed her.
Meanwhile, all the alien soldiers that were closing in on Vastra and the Doctor froze. They were not moving at all.
"Why aren't they moving?" Vastra said.
"They operate only on the Queen's orders," the Doctor said. "When the Queen isn't around to give orders, they freeze and go to sleep, almost in hibernation, until the Queen returns and gives the next order."
"There is no way Clara found that piece," Vastra said. "It is impossible. It burnt up in the atmosphere."
"I know," the Doctor replied.
"So what'll happen to her," Vastra said.
"The Queen will kill her when she realizes that she is bluffing."
Vastra turned to look at him. "So what do we do? How can we stop her from killing Clara?"
"We can't," the Doctor said. "If we leave, the Queen will know it's a trick."
"How will she know? Her soldiers are hibernating."
"They are hibernating but they are still in contact," the Doctor said. "If we leave, if we do anything other than stand here, they will let her know. Then she will definitely kill Clara."
"So we just stay here while Clara gets killed?" Vastra asked.
"We don't have a choice."
-DW-
Clara, meanwhile, finally reached her destination with the Queen. They were outside in a fenced-in park. Clara didn't recognize the place, but Jenny, who was hiding nearby, did. Years before, Jenny had seen another Clara Oswald try to board the TARDIS on a snowy winter evening in this park.
"Look at this," Clara said. There was a gathering of people outside of the park fence, watching Clara and the alien interact. "Look at these people. They aren't trying to hurt you. They are scared, but they are peaceful."
"Where is the piece of my ship?"
"Yeah, in a moment," Clara said. "Just look at this. You would destroy all this for a piece of your ship?"
"Without that piece I can not return to my land, to my people," the Queen replied. "So I give no thoughts to your people."
"The Doctor, he can help you. He can take you and your soldiers back to your people."
"We don't negotiate with terrorists."
"Terrorists?" Clara asked, her voice half amused and half confused. "He's not a terrorist. He helps people."
"We are allies to the Cybermen," the Queen said. "He has killed countless amounts of them. We do not want or need his help."
"Let him help you," Clara said. "Forget about that, he doesn't want to hurt you. He wants to help you."
"Give me the piece of my ship or I will destroy your planet."
"It really doesn't need to come to that," Clara said, speaking faster as she grew more panicked and more scared. "Please, let us help you. Look at all these people, you can't kill them, can you? You came here by mistake but we can fix that mistake and get you home."
"We don't want your help," the Queen said. "Give me the piece of my ship that we need to fly home or I will destroy your planet."
"Please, you're innocent," Clara said. "You haven't done anything wrong, and neither have we. We can fix this without anyone dying!"
The Queen pulled a gun out of a holster on her hip and pointed it directly at Clara.
"Enough," she spoke calmly and slowly with her robotic tone. "Give me the piece of my ship. Or I will kill you and destroy your planet."
"Please," Clara said.
"Stop begging and give me the piece."
Clara looked at her and knew she couldn't continue her bluff. "We don't have it." She swiftly ducked and ran for cover. "Strax!" she shouted.
Strax appeared from behind a tree and quickly shot the Queen with one of his Sontaran weapons.
The Queen fell to the ground.
"Human girl," she called.
Clara got up and turned to her.
"Yes, you, come to me."
Clara walked cautiously toward the Queen. She kicked the alien-looking gun from out of her hand then bent down next to her.
"You're naïve for thinking no one had to die," the Queen said. "More often than not, it comes to this. The people who survive are the ones who pull the trigger first."
Clara shook her head in objection. "No, no you made it come to this. You refused to let this end in peace. You made me do this."
"You planned this," the Queen replied. "You set this trap. Your people are safe because of you. I am dying because of you."
Clara looked up. "Strax!" she called. She looked back to the Queen. "He's a nurse, he can help you."
"We both know that he can't," the Queen said. "Let me ask a favor of you."
"Yes, what can I do?" Clara asked.
"Stay here and watch me die," the Queen said. "I'm dying in battle, I am honored. You killed an enemy, you should be honored by watching her die."
"This wasn't a battle until you made it one."
"And yet it was a battle still," the Queen said. "And you won."
Clara inhaled sharply as she watched the Queen's four eyes shut for the final time.
-DW-
Suddenly in the room with the Doctor and Vastra, all the soldiers fell to the floor.
"What is happening?" Vastra asked the Doctor.
"Either the Queen has given the order for them to stand down," the Doctor said. "Or the Queen has died."
He started toward the TARDIS.
"Come on," he said. "We need to get these soldiers back to their planet. We can't leave them here."
"What about Clara?"
"What about her?"
"Is she dead?" Vastra asked.
"I doubt it," the Doctor said.
"How can you know that?" Vastra asked.
"The Queen would never negotiate with me," the Doctor said. "She sees me as an enemy. She doesn't see Clara as as much of an enemy, though. She wouldn't definitely wouldn't make a deal with me, but she may entertain that option enough with Clara for Jenny or Strax to come up and kill her."
Vastra gave him a look. "Did you get us trapped in here on purpose?"
The Doctor didn't say anything, he just walked into the TARDIS.
-DW-
"It isn't your fault, you know," Jenny said, meeting Clara by the Queen's body.
"I know," Clara replied, standing up.
"There was nothing you could do-."
"It's the Doctor's fault," Clara cut her off.
"What?" Jenny asked. "How?"
"The Doctor knew the Queen and her people," Clara said. "He knew she'd never let him try to work out a peace. But she might let one of us try it long enough to lure her into a trap like we did."
"Clara…"
"I don't want to be a murderer, Jenny," Clara said. "I don't want to be a soldier."
"Those aren't the same thing."
"I know," Clara said. "But I was both of them today. I followed orders, even if they weren't expressly given. I killed someone."
"Technically, that was me, boy," Strax said. "Though I disapprove of our lack of acid in the endeavor."
Clara smiled slightly at Strax.
"This is what soldiers do, boy," Strax said. "We have to do this in order to preserve to honor of our people."
"Yeah well I don't feel very honorable," Clara said.
"She was going to destroy the planet," Jenny said. "Think of all the people you saved."
"She was innocent," Clara said. "An innocent life. All the people were scared, but so was she. She was scared of the Doctor."
"You've been with the Doctor for years, you have to know that he has enemies," Jenny said.
"Yeah," Clara said. "I just never thought it'd be my job to kill them."
Jenny didn't know what to say next so she was grateful when the TARDIS showed up and landed in the park.
Vastra was out of the blue box first.
"Jenny!"
Jenny smiled and met her wife for a hug. "I'm alright, thanks to Clara."
The Doctor went up to Clara.
"You killed her?" He motioned toward the Queen.
Clara nodded.
"She said she was going to destroy the planet," the Doctor said.
"You know I didn't have a choice," Clara said, a venomous tone to her voice.
The Doctor was taken aback. "What does that mean?"
"You got trapped with Vastra on purpose, didn't you?" Clara asked. "You did that so I'd have to be the one to kill her, because she'd never let you into a situation in which you could do it. And, of course, why get your own hands dirty when you can get mine dirty instead."
"Clara-."
"I get why it had to happen this way," Clara said. "But I don't like it."
"What are you saying?"
Clara ignored that question and motioned to the Queen. "What do we do with her?"
"We can take her body back to her planet," the Doctor said. "She was the queen, she deserves a proper burial."
"And her soldiers?"
"I can take them too."
"Good," Clara said. "Do that, then come back for me."
The Doctor looked at her silently for a few moments, then complied.
"Come on," Jenny said, once the Doctor had left with the Queen's body. "Let's get you some tea."
-DW-
"Thank you," Clara said as Jenny put a cup of tea in front of her.
"Strax, go clean and put away all our weapons, please," Vastra said.
Strax bowed out of the room.
Vastra and Jenny sat on one side of the table, with Clara across from them. They all sat quietly for a few moments, Vastra and Jenny not wanting to speak until Clara did. Clara sipped her tea and collected her thoughts.
"Did you know Rory and Amy?" she asked.
"The Doctor's Rory and Amy?" Vastra asked.
Clara nodded.
"We met them once," Vastra said. "They're good people."
"Where did you meet them?"
Vastra and Jenny exchanged a glance.
"At Demon's Run," Vastra said.
Clara waited a moment for them to elaborate. When they didn't, she pressed them. "What happened at Demon's Run?"
"It was a battle," Vastra continued. "We met Strax there."
"What was the battle over?"
Vastra and Jenny exchanged another look.
"Tell me," she said a bit forcefully. "Please," she said, more calmly.
"As you probably know, Amy and Rory were married," Vastra said. "At some point after their wedding, Amy was kidnapped and replaced with a flesh avatar."
"A what?" Clara asked with a confused face.
"Basically it was a bunch of goo that could replicated human flesh," Jenny offered. "Complete with their personality and memories."
"This avatar was switched with the real Amy, so the Doctor and Rory travelled unknowingly with the avatar for months until they realized who she was," Vastra continued.
"So, what, the real Amy was held at Demon's Run?"
"Yes," Vastra said. "And her baby was too."
Clara inhaled deeply at this. There was an uneasy silence as Vastra and Jenny let Clara absorb this information. "What happened to them?"
"We rescued Amy," Vastra said. "The child…could not be saved."
Clara looked at them with a broken expression.
"Madame Kovarian, the woman who orchestrated Amy's abduction, she took the child and raised her to be a weapon against the Doctor," Vastra continued.
"A weapon?" Clara asked. "How?"
"She was raised to be River Song," Vastra said. "And she kills the Doctor."
"No, I've met River," Clara said. "She's married to the Doctor. And she's dead. How could she kill him?"
"The Doctor figure out a way to fake his death," Vastra said.
"Did Amy and Rory ever see their baby again?" Clara asked. "Before she grew up to be River, did they find her?"
"No."
Clara was again quiet for a few moments. "What happened to Amy and Rory after that?"
"They traveled for a bit more, we think," Vastra replied. "The Doctor doesn't talk about them much, but he traveled with them more after that and before he met you."
"He said they got stranded in New York, is that why they stopped traveling?"
Vastra nodded.
"Then he met me," Clara said. "But he met one version of me while he still traveled with them. And then he met me in Victorian London. Did you meet that version of me?"
Vastra and Jenny nodded solemnly.
"What happened to her?" Clara asked.
"She died saving the Doctor," Vastra said simply.
"I could've told you that," Clara said. "How?"
Vastra and Jenny exchanged a look.
"Ah," Clara said. "I guess it is in a manner that I'd rather not know about."
"She was very brave," Vastra said.
"Yeah, they always are, apparently."
"Clara, you're good for him," Jenny said. "He was so…dark before he found you."
"Oh and he's not dark now?"
"It's different."
Clara took another sip of tea. "I don't think I can do this anymore."
Vastra and Jenny didn't speak.
"Thanks for the tea," Clara said. She stood up. "I think I'm just going to go for a walk until he gets back."
-DW-
Clara wandered around the streets of Victorian London. The sun was setting and she found a little hill to sit on. She sat and watched the sun set, not really thinking or feeling anything. It was peaceful. She could see the light change as the sun shone across the landscape and the buildings. She recognized some buildings from her London, but a lot were unfamiliar. She could hear kids in nearby blocks playing and could hear the sound of horses drawing carts through the streets.
She took a deep breath then immediately wished she hadn't. Victorian London was lovely in many ways, but she definitely missed the sanitation standards of her own time.
She sighed. She knew she was at her breaking point.
-DW-
She made her way back to Vastra and Jenny's and saw the blue box parked just inside the door.
"Clara," the Doctor said.
"You ready to go?" she asked.
He nodded. They said their goodbyes to the Paternoster Gang then entered the TARDIS to bring Clara home.
"I don't want to do this anymore," Clara said.
"What do you mean?"
"I can't do this," Clara said. "There are certain things I don't want. I told you I don't want to be the last of my species, for one. And I don't want to be a soldier or a murderer."
"We aren't soldiers," the Doctor said, almost angrily.
"We are," Clara said matter-of-factly. "And that isn't a bad thing. When someone, like the Queen today, drags you into a battle, you become a soldier, whether you want to or not. The options were be a soldier or die and let everyone else die too."
"You made the right decision," the Doctor said.
"I know that," Clara said. "But I can't make these decisions anymore. I'm not you, Doctor. I can't make these decisions and keep going. They weigh on me."
"They weigh on me too," the Doctor said. "I don't forget any of the people who die in my name."
"That's the thing though," Clara said. "They die for you. I don't want anyone to die for me. Or because of me."
The Doctor looked at her as she wandered around the TARDIS console, looking around like it would be her last time seeing everything.
"I'm not you," she repeated. "I'm a human girl from Blackpool. I can't make these life and death decisions then go home like it didn't happen. I can't live this life here, and then go home and be a human being. And I want to be a human being. I want to be able to be at home and do my job and be in love. I can't do any of that if I'm here."
"You said I was a hobby," the Doctor said slowly.
"You're not anymore," Clara said. "At some point you became my whole life. I understand that I had to keep this life secret to a degree, but it got to the point where it was something I actively hid from people that I loved. Remember that Christmas you came to? I told everyone you were a nudist from Sweden rather than telling them the truth. And I lied to Danny about you for years. I don't want to be a liar anymore."
"There are certain things that come with the territory of travelling with me," the Doctor said.
"I know, and I'm not saying I want to change that," Clara said. "I'm saying I don't want to travel. I used to love this, us going around and saving people. I don't love it anymore. I actually sort of…dread going out with you and making these decisions. I'm seeing the side of myself that can choose who lives and dies and I don't like it."
"So you're done?" the Doctor asked.
Clara nodded. "Yeah, for real this time. I was so angry at you for manipulating me into making that decision on the moon. And I was angry that I had to make this decision today. But things had to go the way they did. Everything on the moon had to happen the way it did, I had to ask the people of Earth what they thought and you couldn't have been there because Captain Lundvik wouldn't have listened to you. I had to make this decision today because the Queen wouldn't listen to you. Of course, the obvious problem here is you but I can't change that. But I can change my participation in it. I don't want to be in the position to make your decisions anymore."
"This is what we do."
"This is what you do," Clara said. "I'm not saying it's fair or it's right but you travel around in this box and save people and make life-or-death decisions. And sometimes when you can't, we do. Your companions. We sacrifice so much for you because it is worth it. I don't regret anything with you. But if I stay any longer, I'll regret that."
"You don't have to go," the Doctor said. "We can just travel for fun. We don't have to do any saving. I could finally take you to Crocodilopolis!"
Clara laughed slightly. "Doctor, I won't ask you to do that. You love saving people, as you should. You do a lot of good in the universe. Don't forget that."
"Can we do one more trip?" the Doctor asked.
"No," Clara said firmly. "Last time you said we'd just go on holiday you took me to stop a mummy. So, no more 'last hurrahs'. I'm done, I mean it."
"Okay."
"But, why don't you come round for dinner?" Clara asked. "I love you, you're my friend. You mean a lot to me. Come round for tea some time."
"Alright."
"Promise me," Clara said. "I don't want this to be goodbye. I think we've been through too much for us to ever say goodbye for good. Besides, I think you'll always be seeing some echo of me in some capacity."
"I promise," the Doctor said with a smile. "I'll come round for tea sometime."
Clara smiled.
The Doctor opened his arms for a hug.
Clara made a surprised face as she hugged him back. "Oh? You're actually letting me hug you?"
"Thank you, Clara Oswald," the Doctor said. "You saved me, in more ways than I can ever explain. Thank you."
"You saved me a fair bit too, you know," Clara said.
"You know it's not the same."
"I know," Clara said softly. She pulled back from the hug. "But, like I said, I don't regret any of this. I'd do it all over again."
The Doctor smiled at her. "So when I come for tea, will Mister Danny Pink ever be there?"
Clara's smile fell. "I don't know," she said, leaning against the console as the Doctor initiated the takeoff sequence. "I need to fix things with him."
"He means that much to you?"
Clara nodded. "I love him. This whole time, these past few weeks without being with him, I've missed him the entire time. I knew before we broke up that I loved him, but now I really know. I don't want to be without him."
"So don't be," the Doctor said.
"I have to earn his forgiveness," Clara said. "I really hurt him with all the lying. I don't want to rush him."
"It's been weeks," the Doctor said. "Maybe now he just needs a little push."
With that, the TARDIS took off. Clara jolted with the force of the takeoff but soon steadied herself against the console. She looked at the TARDIS mechanisms work as the flight went on, then stopped.
They were silent for a few moments in the newly landed TARDIS.
"Well," Clara said. "I guess I'll see you when I see you."
The Doctor smiled. "So long, Clara."
Clara turned and left the TARDIS. She stepped out of the blue box and walked a few steps before realizing that she was in a familiar hallway, but not the one that led her to her flat.
"Wait," she said, looking up and turning back to the blue box. "Doctor!" she called, racing back to the box. She was too late, though, as the box took off without her.
A door down the hall opened.
"Clara?" a voice called.
Clara turned. "Hi, Danny."
"Are you alright?" Danny asked.
Clara nodded. "Yep."
"Did he leave you?"
"No," Clara said firmly. "I left him."
Danny made a surprised face. "Are you alright?" he offered.
Clara smiled and walked up to him. She stood outside his doorway as he stood just inside his flat.
"Danny, I love you," Clara said. "I've loved you this whole time, these past couple years that I've been with you. I am so, so sorry that I hurt you and I lied to you. But I'm ready now. I'm ready to be all in. I know that I hurt you and you're angry with me and I need to earn your forgiveness, but I'm ready to earn it. I'll wait as long as I need to until I've earned your trust."
She leaned up and kissed his cheek.
"I know I told you I saw wonders, but you're right, there are wonders here," Clara said. "The work we do, when a student understands something we teach them, that's a wonder. A person can be a wonder. One person is more amazing, harder to understand but more amazing still, than a universe."
"Really?" Danny asked with a grin. "What person is that then?"
Clara smiled. "I love you and I always will, Danny Pink. I know you've been going on dates and I'm genuinely happy for you because I want you to do what makes you happy. I want you to be happy. If you think you'll be happy with me, you know where to find me. If you don't…I hope you find whatever makes you happy."
She took a step back and Danny looked at her.
"Have a good night, Danny."
She grinned politely then left.
She walked down the hall and didn't look back. She went home and changed into comfortable pajamas and got the best night sleep she'd had in weeks.
So that was this chapter. I used some of the dialogue from the last episode "In the Forest of the Night" but I had Clara say it instead of Danny. I really liked that dialogue but for this story I thought it was more important that Clara come to that conclusion on her own rather than have Danny say it to her.
So, yeah. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Please review and let me know what you think!
Also have a good day/night/existence!
