Just a random silly "Future-Pines" story that I cooked up when bored as I agitatedly wait for the next episode. Enjoy! - SGA


"...Truck? You want the truck, buddy?" As usual, a visit to his sister's house found a certain young man sitting on a living room floor with his baby niece, baby nephew, and herd of brightly colored age-appropriate toys. Dipper placed a small plastic vehicle into his nephew's chubby outstretched hands. "There we go! Okay, now what's a truck do?"

It took him a couple tries, but the tot eventually remembered how to awkwardly roll it back and forth on the living room floor. As he did, he excitedly squeaked out the only word that he knew, if one could call it that. "Whop!"

"Now, what kind of sound does a truck make?" Dipper asked encouragingly. "Can you make it go vroom for me? Vroooooom! Like that"

"Whop!" Finn Pines repeated himself and happily banged the toy on the floor. "Whop!"

"Not quite." His uncle patiently tried again. "Vroo-"

"Whop!"

"Do it just like me. V-"

"Whop!" The tot turned and began rolling the car up and down his lanky aunt's leg. Wendy lay flat on her back and let her little nephew use her as an improvised roadway.

"Give it up, dude." She chuckled at her stubborn husband.

"I'm only trying to help their-" Dipper was interrupted yet again, only this time from his baby niece. Gladys Pines was like her mother in miniature as she flashed a bright smile and fazed up with bright brown eyes. Grinning from ear to ear, she picked up her fluffy stuffed duck and poked its head against her uncle's side again.

"Boop!" She grabbed his attention with an eager chirp.

"What's that, kiddo?" The dutiful uncle switched his attention. She paused if she were choosing her words carefully. The child then threw on a smile, waved her little arms in the air and squeaked excitedly.

"Boop!"

"Yeah, uh….you want me to….look at the duck?" He tried to decipher her.

"BOOP!" She trilled again, putting him at a total loss. Ancient runes, old prophecies and cryptically written journals were one thing, but the mystery of baby speech was in a league of its own. It was especially hard to tell what she wanted when, just like her brother, she could only say one "word" over and over.

"Am I supposed to pet it?"

"Dipper…" Wendy watched with a fat grin.

"Hold on, I'm gonna figure this."

"Nuh-uh." She teasingly shot right back.

"Boop! Boop!" The children kept pressing her duck towards him.

"Sure, I can hold your-" Dipper tried to take her toy. She then giggled and hugged it back tightly. "Okay, so I guess you do just want me to look at it, huh?"

"Boooop!" She prodded it against his hand.

"So now do you want me to-" He reached out, and she now just started poking him repeatedly in the chest. The sight got a hearty cackle from his wife. The hapless young man shrugged as finally gave up and let her do as she pleased.

Right about then Mabel entered with a snack, as per her hospitable protocol whenever company was over. She set the bowl of stove-popped popcorn down on the coffee table and without missing a beat happily scooped up her nearest child.

"Beeeeuuuuuup!" The woman took care to add an appropriate sound effect as she raised her little girl high in the air. The infant squealed and prodded her mother gently with her toy.

"Boooop!"

"Whop!" Mabel responded in kind by touch noses with her child.

"Whop!" Finn enthusiastically repeated. In a fluid movement, the parent popped Gladys onto her hip, bent down and swooped in with her free arm.

"Zooooooooom! Oootchie ootchie oooo!" She started vigorously tickled his belly. In no time the boy was on his back, squealing like mad as she finished him off with several loving pokes to his side and chest. "Beep! Bop! Boop! Wheeeeeee!"

Now that she had properly given them both a case of the giggles, Mabel tucked her legs beneath her and joined the rest of the family down on the floor. Gently she lowered her daughter, releasing her with a bubbly, "Bwooop!"

"I think I just got a cavity from watching that." Wendy cracked.

Dipper meanwhile felt the powerful need to remark, "They really couldn't start off with learning 'mama,' could they?"

"Nope!" Mabel affirmed without an ounce of hesitation. She beamed proudly at her little ones, who gazed back adoringly in turn. "They've decided to do Mommy nice and proud. Isn't that right, hun-buns? Boop!"

She lovingly tapped her daughter on the forehead. Gladys smiled and eagerly copied her right back in turn. "Boop! Boop!"

"Boop!" She repeated, and for a few moments it was practically the same person in stereo.

"Question. Do you actually use any real English when we're not here?" Dipper couldn't help but ask. He genuinely had to know. Still grinning toothily from ear to ear, the unorthodox young mother just replied with an affectionate prod to her twin's cheek.

"...Bap!"